Unfortunately I do not have the wisdom of Confusius.
And I know you cannot answer the question.
But:
1) The step-sisters mentioned above took some drastic actions in the hope of getting the prince.
2) Somebody in France once changed his religion to become king...
So, how do I know that 'she' (who lives in concrete silo where the stair-well smells of cat piss, in a bleak industrial city somewhere in the FSU) really loves me, not just the nice house and the nice car I can give her if she joins me in my country???
I agree with you with respect to 'setting down the rules' 'at the beginning'.
Geriatrix:
Obviously you have written to her and/or called her long enough to get to know her. You have certainly communicated long enough to get into discussions on cat urine, which suggests that you have at least gone beyond the intial pleasantries.
The ONLY way to be certain (or at least, given the fact that it is a woman we are talking about, less uncertain) of he motivation and real feelings for you is to GET ON A PLANE AND GO MEET HER. (I am assuming that you have not done that already.)
Get a ticket. You have little to lose and only perhaps the love of your life to gain.
Toad:
If you have as much female attention as you can handle, from the south as well as from the east.... what are you doing here?
I would think that you could use your time more..... "satisfyingly" than being at a computer keyboard writing to, and with, a buch of lonely-hearts like us.
Geri I think you need to study faith for awhile. Many of the questions you ask though thought provoking are questions of faith. Sometimes you have to answer your own questions and yes some times you have to follow your gut and make the future you want to have. Don't let yourself be the victom but create the possitive attitude and proceed on your own gut feelings. No promises no refund!
re
"...called her long enough to get to know her. ..."
That's what I thought before.
I should be older and wiser, I just have a nagging fear that I am not much wiser this time around.
I can't get a lie-detector through the airport, can I??
Sorry to bother you.
I just thought that by 'thinking aloud' here I could point to some more general issues.
-Like how tempting it is to fake sincerity when there is sufficient reward.
Geriatrix:
I have found that, unfortuantely, we only get older. The "wiser" thing seems to be a myth. Perhaps in our older days we become a little less impetuous - but that's the best we can hope for.
As far as knowing for sure? You can never do that. Remember again, these are women. They are programmed to do what they do. And we are programmed to respond. Rightly, or wrongly, we tend to follow the same programs as far as our reations are concerned.
If we do manage to gain a little wisdom, along with our lost impetuousness, perhaps we make better decisions the second time around. But there are no guarantees.
And then there are the unpredicatable twists of fate.
I am now scheduled to meet my fiance in Moldova in Janaury. It seems, however, through a strange twist of events in Latvia without telling me - my heart has taken up residence there. (I wish it would tell me when it does these things.) Though I know the sitation is most likely unworkable in Latvia. It seems I will be traveling to Moldova without that vital organ that moves my blood around.
To everyone on this board - you realize, I hope, that by being as candid as I have here, about my Moldovans and my Latvian - that I can never access this webpage again - once I bring a woman back from the SFU.
Just a single example above. If I bring back my Moldovan I ccan never let her see this entry.
One of our members mentioned some time back that I sound occasionally as if I plan to mave on and abandon this forum.
The day I bring a lady home is the day I will leave.
By NECESSITY.
(If she ever reads this board - well lets just say I'll be going back to the FSU looking again real soon!)
"Oh what a wicked
web we weave when first we practice to deceive"
Geri
You mean you can't tell when a woman is faking it..?? ;-)
There IS a difference between a woman who genuinely loves you and one who is seeking a gold card. The signs may be hard to spot but they will be there. Trust your instincts.
Toad may be as subtle as an air raid ;-) but he has a point. Showing a woman the door does keep them interested. Slightly risky these days when she points to the door of her attorney.
Someone sent this to me, Jet...wonder if it might also apply to you...??
"...There's a race of men that don't fit in, a race that can't stand still; so they break the hearts of kith and kin, and roam the world at will- ..."