Hello guys I'm new at this, but I've been reading your threads trying to educate myself on this whole process. Thanks for all the good info, but sometimes I really wear out my BS filter reading some of the stuff in these threads. Ok, here is my situation. I've really fallen for my gal (Olga) and we have written and talked quite a bit in the last month. However now we want to meet. I thought I could save some money and instead of meeting her in her town I could meet her in Germany (I live in Atlanta, GA) where I have family and friends. She is excited because she has never been to Germany before. She has talked to a travel agency and said the agency has a tour package to Germany for a week, which includes getting her Visa to visit for about $300 to $400. Having listened to the advice in many threads that say don't send money to someone you haven't met yet I suggested to her that she e-mail me the travel agencies phone number and give me the name of the person she talked to. I should receive that info the week after Christmas.
So am I doing the right thing? Does anyone know what type paper work Olga will need to visit Germany for a week? Does $300-400 sound about right for what she's telling me? Would I just be better off visiting her in the Ukraine? Anybody know of any cheap flights from the Ukraine to Frankfurt, Germany? Can I purchase her a ticket in advance over the phone and just have her pick it up at the airport like we can in the states? About how much can I expect to put out to get her Visa to Germany? Would it be better for me to meet her in another country instead? Please keep in mind that I'm not rich when you make your suggestions, please! If possible I'd like to take this trip mid to end of Feb. 05.
Olga and I are both people person's, e-mails and calls are nice but we both need to have the other person in front of us to really get to know them. We also need to know if the chemistry is working when we meet. Sorry this is so lengthy, but I wanted to give you guys some background info so you could better pinpoint your suggestions. Let me thank you guys (and gals) in advance for your help.
it all depends on what YOU want. There's two scenario's as you indicate, and my opinion - wait for others - is to go to her, not her to you. This way you'll see a lot more than only her, and also you'll be more or less able to 'place' her in her own environment, especially important when there's a culture difference. After all I suppose you want to see more than her alone, and this is the way to do it. If also you'd like to see your family in Frankfurt route your trip accordingly, if not go direct.
If you want to get her to you then there are always risks, even when you do your homework like you seem to have done. A non-redeemable ticket is possible, and maybe you're able to pay for her visa direct, by means of a transfer to the embassy. Any cash sent, via the notorious Western Union maybe, is an open invitation and downright a risk, so stay away from that.
However, if you have done the above there is still another thing which should not be forgotten - she needs proof she avails over funds enabling her to survive in Germany. The Schengen visa I think (not sure, find out) requires a paid-for hotel plus a daily amount which she simply has to have.
Catch 22 I suppose, these funds you're quite likely to produce, and this you'll have to do before she boards the plane.
If she has got these funds herself, or can borrow them maybe, then no problem, and you could keep her free of spending this amount. This setup means she can only loose, not gain any funds. That hotel remains however, and this part just might make this whole thing more dear than when you go to her.
Keep in mind though that, when taking a risk sending her only these funds in cash, IF she drops you you will also loose the ticket & visa cost.
It's your money John, and it is not for nothing that it is said 'Don't send money to someone you have not met yet'. I'd go to her - cheaper as well I think. Good luck!
John:
There are some very good deals from KLM flying from Borispol (Kiev) to Frankfurt,and it is possible to purchase a ticket for your lady to pick up in Ukraine.
If I remember correctly Ukraine International Airlines act as agents for KLM in Kiev.
Thunder is correct about the terms of the Schengen visa,but I tend to agree with him in repeating to you that it will a whole lot easier for you to go to her.
Best of luck in whatever you choose.
Thunder & Gladiator thank you for your input. I mentioned to Olga that it just might be easier for me to visit her. If possible she would like to see Germany, she has never been there and I know my way around very well. She did mention a Visa requirement, I think she might have called it a Schengen visa. I have not yet contacted the travel agency, so I don't know for sure until I talk to them next week. What if we decide to stay with friends or relatives, how do I prove she has a place to stay? I will check out the KLM flights from Borispol (Kiev) and I still haven't ruled out flying to the Ukraine. She will be disappointed but not as much as I would be losing money. Besides if things work out we can always visit Germany later. Thank you again for you advice and will report back with updates as I learn more. Have a Merry Christmas!
Just my four cents worth. I dont think that a month is long enough to decide to fly thousands of miles one way to see someone that you hardly know. The part that sounds suspcious to me is having her meet you in Germany. If you do go and see her you should go to her country. See where she lives, how she lives, friends, family. You can always go with her to another country where the rules are less strict on Visa requirements: Turkey, Egypt, etc.
my advise - spend money on yourself. travel there. you are very close to Ukraine. if she is not what you expect her to be at least you will not regret about you trip. i am sure you will have fun in revolutionary Kiev:)
Telling an American to go to Turkey or Egypt right now is like Telling an Israeli to Party with Hamas on New Years eve. I agree with you though, I would meet her in her country, learn her culture and family first.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who would like to hear about what you're going to find out. That so-called Schengen visa covers a large part of Europe (all?) but it would seem that the individual countries have different requirements.
I presume there must be some way to circumvent the booked (and pre-paid) hotel by means of some invite, however I wonder if you will be able to invite her as you don't reside in Germany.
You then also might find out that he who invites is likely to be held responsible for the person invited during his/her stay. Although this sounds innocent enough I've read about genuine stories which I could not believe but just had to because there are so many of them.
Some other things though.
If this is the first woman you correspond with you should be doubly careful, and be especially wary of yourself :) I suppose everybody surprises himself (I did) in the way they become involved in what seems to be a relationship, but when you meet you may be confronted the hard way with crucial facts you've never even realized, potentially obliviating this relationship even. You call it chemistry, the ultimate searched for, but what if it's the other side of the coin? Neither pessimist nor optimist, one's largest chance lies inbetween I suppose.
Ice seems to think you visit too quick, his prerogative like it is yours of course to think otherwise. I hunch you're busy longer than one month only, but you state your funds are limited hence your consideration to stopover in Germany. Careful John, this kind of dating is for those only with at least some disposable income to risk, and when you become succesful you will have to have more. There's no set amount for this, everybody is and does it different, but 'substantial' it is for everybody, like it also is a risk.
You're going on your first visit, and you're going because you think she's worth it. Maybe that reason only is why you should choose not the cheapest but the best way - refer to anyone above.
Good luck.
Hey Nasfan
Your point about traveling to Turkey or Egypt is well taken, but it is not impossible to be somewhat safe in such countries. As you know it can be dangerous here in the states.
Thunder thank again for your advice. In answer to your questions, No this is not my first correspondence and I've met and dated women from the internet before. Just not from so far away. I realize I'm the new kid on the block here but believe me I've been around that block many many times before.
My original question wasn't if I could afford any of this, which I believe I can or I wouldn't be here. It was an attempt gather information and to use the experience of others that have been down this exact road before. I'm trying to avoid making the same mistakes mentioned in so many of these threads.
My first reasoning of thought for a stop over in Germany was not funds, but and atmosphere of which I am very familiar and the opportunity of other view points (friends and family) besides my own. Which if what I'm hearing is correct can be swayed by the beauty of these women. I'm man enough to admit I've made mistakes in my life, but I'm also intelligent enough to have learned from those mistakes. I've made enough in my life and am trying to avoid making any more.
Congratulations! You gentlemen have convinced me to visit her in the Ukraine first. So any information on requirements to enter the country would be appreciated. If anyone knows of a nice place in Kiev to stay for a week I'd be interested.
One last point the money factor is not nearly as important to me as the emotional factor. I've had enough heartache from western women to last a lifetime. I know this endeavor may not be any different then what I experienced from women here, but I'm keeping my eyes open and hoping for the best. I've heard and seen to many success stories to not give this a try.
Getting a visa to Ukraine is easy, if you have time you can go through their consulate, or use Olna Inc. for expeditied visa's. No difficulty getting one.
A nice place to stay in Kiev would be the Sherbourne Apartments. It is in a good area of Kiev, close to many interesting places to see.
They have everything you need. They will set up accomdations for you and your lady to be picked up at the airport, they offer interpreter
services, The prices range from 85USD and up depending on how many
bedrooms you need.
www.ukraine-visa.com for visa information
www.sherbornehotel.com.ua/ information on the hotel
john,
dont worry about much at all. just go do it. you wont be dodging bullets or mortars. it is very safe in kyiv. i commend you . you dont waste time. my first trip to kyiv was to meet a women i had been e-mailing for two months. there was absolutely no chemistry when we met, as there was chemistry in the e-mails, plus she was an educated liar. it might work and it might not. but you are doing the right thing by flying over there . it is the best way to find out. 500 e-mails cannot duplicate the human factor of seeing her live. if i was you , i would have a few extra phone numbers before i go over there. it worked for me. if i did not , it would have been trouble in paradise.
Well I've decided to visit Olga in the Ukraine first. She was a little disappointed at first, but accepted my decision. If this is a sample of FSU women I'm READY. No long discussion, no yelling, no tears. Just a simple "if you think its best dear, ok". She thinks its a good opportunity to meet her family and see the country, since I've never been there before. I'm still going in with my eyes open and my guard up, but GOD she is beautiful.
I think I've found some decent tickets about $750 (ATL to KBP). However any advice on places to stay possibly in Kiev, or Kherson would be helpful. Also, do I need some type of invite? Will I need any special paperwork if I want to visit other cities? I really appreciate all the help you folks provide.
nasfan posted a couple of links above that will help you. I have stayed at the Sherborne and used the visa service, both were excellent. No need for invite or registration when you are there.
Johninatl, http://www.ukraine-visa.com . tell Oleg that you were from fiance.com forum. they will take good care of you and get you ready for the trip. ask admin@fiance.com for help any time
dunno if you've read the "if you need this"-thread, maybe handy to have his telephone number for when you go over. Make sure you know what clothing to bring, remember slippers (no shoes inhouse) and maybe a good idea is to take a special present in case she proves to be just that. A camera with a date-stamp may prove handy for her visa-ap later, and make sure there's plenty photo's of the both of you.
Good luck and enjoy your trip!
Thanks Thunder, I was thinking I might write down that strangers number and take it with me in case I need it. Didn't know about the slippers though. I'll bring some with me. I was already planning on bringing something special just for her. How's a necklace sound, maybe one with a lockett that opens? I'll be bringing my Olympus digital camera with me, but it doesn't have a date stamp. I understand the importance of the photos later, if everything goes well. I'm supposed to meet her family so I can ask them to take photos of the two of us together. If the photos are digital can't I add a text box to the photo with the date?
I've already printed out the visa ap from www.ukraine-visa.com and will be sending my passport in soon.
Olegnay thanks to you also for the tips, I'm feeling much more comfortable about this trip. I'm not sure what kind of help you folks have. Would you suggest I stay at a hotel or rent an apartment for the week? There is alot of talk in the forum that apartments are more private and less expensive?
Keep Smiling John, (it makes people wonder what you've been up to!)
Horses for courses john......apartments or hotel???.......that is one so many people ask....it's certainly easier from a visa point of view to book a hotel,but a little more restrictive.A hotel can often be a source of very useful info too,not to mention the availability of food and drink at your beck and call.
However an apartment DOES offer a lot more privacy and flexibility........yes you will have to source your own food,but that is part of the fun.You come and go as you please.....invite who want back to your place..(a lot of ladies feel uncomfy about visiting hotels!!),and last but not least for the equivalent price of a hotel,you can almost certainly rent a superior apartment.