Is this possible. I never been lucky at anything. Are these girls sincere. She never has asked for money and we have written for 2 months. I wrote a bunch of letters and have narrowed it all down to her. She has independent email service mail.ru. Is this dangerous since the agency cannot track her correspondence? Could she be writting a bunch of people and just telling me this? I guess what makes me lear is at times she doesn't answer all my questions? Are most of these girls on here sincere?
Tough question man. You got pictures and address and have talked on the phone? Have you done everything possible to see if she is real? There are agencies that investigate potential brides... allthough she may find this offensive.
johninatl have got a point. Read the topic "how to avoid being scammed". But you have to keep in mind that there is a lot of serious girls out there. I was really blinded some weeks ago myself, believing every girl I spoke to was about to steal my money... Then this forum helped me look at things in a more positive way, and recently I was on a fantastic date with this Estonian beauty, warm, tender, sweet... bla bla bla bla... I could go on a little more about her. I haven't got a clue what will happen in the future, but at least I know she want to see me more, and she is for real... and I like her a lot...
Of course she write to lots of people... everybody does! Before couple havent met...its allowed or not? And all normal people have email address...why in earth its dangerous? To say mail.ru is dangerous is the same to say hotmail.com is dangerous!!Reading your post I would like to say-look for neighbour girls...
Norwegian...I think all people who looking for dates in Estonia are real (at least estonians). Im not sure about motives...
For heavens sake, maybe she likes you. Go meet her and find out if she is the one. Fromru.com is a common email server; my fiance uses it too. When you see a gold nugget, pick it up and don't throw it away becasue you THINK it may be false gold. What are your instincs telling you?
I would not worry about the mail.ru address. She could say the same thing writing here and still have other men she writes to. Fiance.com will not tell you, they do not even know her. The paople at the agency she goes to know her. You have to use your instinct and have some truth and faith. Anyway, the proof is in the meeting. Even if she is sincer, maybe you 2 will meet and it still will not work. You cannot meet a wife on the interent. What you can do is meet a girl you have some interest in and then meet her in person, after that, well you get the picture!!
I'm going to sound meaner and harder than anyone else here, even nasty....but I mean well, lol.
Only Annika sort of sounded somewhat along my line of thinking on this one.
What you brought up to the forum exposes a blatant tendency to consider the women we correspond with as "property". Period.
These women do not belong to you, me or anyone else...and unless you propose and intend to marry her, you will have little or no claim over her.
For farther reference watch RAW by Eddie Murphy...("You don't own me..I don't see no ring on my finger")
Why in the world would you want to be the only one with whom she exchanges correspondence???
Isn't that a bit extreme on the control freakshness, mate?
I would much rather be picked from among a bunch of men my lady has coprresponded with, even if they have been trying to win her heart longer than me...:)
If you're the only western man she ever knows before marrying you, the chances of some other bloke wooing her away from you when you bring her home are much higher.
But let me back up to the original point of my oral diahrrea.
You're not ENTITLED to ask, expect or get exclusivity from any woman whom you have not met or made some kind of plausible commitment. Your monthly subscription does not include such thing.
Forty some letters is not a tell tale sign of any scamming brewing concoction on her part. I would worry when she gets forty per month, every month and still has not made up her mind.
I have to agree with Toad. Competition brings out the best in us!
and to become the top one on heap means you brought something more to the table than the others! Go see her, it might be the best thing you
have ever done. There are no guarantees here, but nothing ventured is nothing gained.
after all have said they agree, let's be different and say I don't.
So Toad, not entitled eh? When were you going over you said? First of May? Fine, and now let's assume she will receive another visitor one week before you'll be there. They hit it off big time, and shame on you, you'll be left in the cold then, getting an sms from her 3 days prior to your departure "Sorry my Froglet, cancel all, I love someone else now".
You'll never see her because you did not ask, because you felt you were not entitled to, had no exclusive rights etc etc. You'll end up doing some cold canvassing there, because of course you cannot cancel the trip anymore unless forfeiting the not-inconsiderable funds & efforts already invested.
Been there done that Toad, and let me tell you the various T-shirts are exceptional because cc-ing is fun to boot, highly interesting as well as entertaining, never mind the rather spontaneous market.
But it just is not why you went there for in the first place, and that is the reason why you SHOULD ask. I did, in hindsight got vague answers (was learning still), but one may darn well ask before arranging a trip across half the globe, you must even.
Sure, I DO agree with the brunt & basics of your reasoning, and indeed I consider competition as a challenge. But when the push comes to shove you do ask - an honest Q for an honest A.
Wouldn't you hate missing the bus? Whoa, I'm figuratively speaking, not referring to certain bipeds in your area :)
Ask, but not too soon. She may also, probably will.
I would say making definite travel arrangements like you did falls well within what I mentioned as "plausible commitment". In fact, that in my book is one heck of a comittment which in turn should be reciprocrated by her with a minimum of honesty.
Let's say ....er....TELLING YOU in a timely manner she's going to have other visitors before you arrive so you know that first thing to do is take her to the boutique to buy her some clean panties.
We're all at risk of getting the shaft like you did, if it was easy and risk free there would be millions, not mere 10,000s of men traveling to meet foreign women.