Obviously some of the photos on RW dating sites are models, and their photos are just posted to generate sales of letters, flowers, etc. Does anyone have any ideas on how to quickly determine if the girl is really looking for a foreign husband, or is just selling her photos? Of course, the same goes for the flip side, that is, how can a RW tell if a guy she is writing to is sincere or just playing games?
thats easy.Models are never interested in marriage. they just want to travel at your expence...so just try to meet her and find out, if she is ready tp get married quickly. There are lots of really noce model looking girls with sincere intencions of marriage, but there is a certain amount of game players, sure.
letters are fine. do it in parralel with emials. email is much faster. call here. meet her. nothing can substitute the real meeting. send here mall gift and ask delivery service to make photogprah to see if she is the same face. Service network flamingo does it www.russianservice.com. at dating-ru.com, you can ask customer service to do verification for you.
janwas
Here I have to disagree with you. Some ladies wont give out their addresses till they know you better or have decided that you are the one. Also some agencys forbid them to give out their addresses unless you purchesed it. (dating-ru does not forbid this) So asking for an address is not a way to look for scammers. If you suspect a scammer contact the site administrator to check it out. This agency hosting this forum (dating-ru) is your best bet to trust and to make contact with if you suspect a scammer. If you get asked for money or get bombbarded with sob stories, so you will offer money. Then time get suspicious and contact the site administrator to check it out. If woman is sincere you will be able to see it and above all she will not ask for money. Or she will go underground as soon as she hears your planning a trip to see her. But mostly you have to depend on the professional integrity of the administrators of the site you are using. That is why I always push for dating-ru. Good Luck to All.......
CodeRed,
Of course there arre different ways to find out, but I prefer to get the address so that we can exchange postcards and photos.
It is not very personal or polite to send electronic letters and postcards.
There are agencies who wish to make as much money as possible, and want all correspondence to go through them.
Here is Sweden, I think it is hard to find someone who are willing to pay for services.
Here, the agencies are sponsored through advertising instead, and people who have no Internet can go to a library or school to have access.
CodeRed,
I forgot to comment about dating-ru not forbidding ladies to give their address:
Maybe Dating-ru don´t, but agencies linked to them do.
Look at this answer I got yesterday?
"Order Date: 03/31/2003
Reply Date: 03/31/2003
Letter Text: Hi, Jan!
I can't send you my e-mail or postal address according the rules of my agency.
Oksana"
I am not prepared to communicate via an agency all the time until I meet her, so I simply try with another woman instead.
I am not trying to justify the agency, but: many women PREFER not to give their addresses because of a very somple reason:while they are corresponding via the agency, this correspondence is free for her, as well as translation of your messages for her. As soon as you start corresponding with her directly, she will have to pay for translation and mailforwarding. Yes, some local agencies dont allow women give their addresses, but in fact this is al long as it is conveniet to a woman.Even this onr-if she wanted to, she could give you her address.
sure. enquire first, if she is using a translator or she can speak herself. Usually ladies who can speak english are willing to avoid agencies as well and gladly give you their direct address.
In fact, those who can speak english and have a computer dont use agency services, they place their on free sites.If a lady applies to an agency, she has reasons to do it.
By the way, about this order. I just checked what it was. If was a free first message. In fact agencies dont liken to give ladies addresses for free. If you pay for the message and ask lady to give you the address, the agency has no right not to give this address to you( of course in case the lady doesnt mind). If you sent a free letter and want the address, you have to pay for the address. You have to pay anyway, at least for something.
Since it is a site with paid services. But again note, that if it was lady's desire to give you her address, nobody could stop her from it. we have plenty of ladies here that give their addresses immediately in a response for a first free message.
In this situation dating-ru com operates only like a maiforwarding service. We have our rules, but local agencies that places ladies on this site have their own preferences.
I have my ad with photo at a site, and when I have got replies I have found out that these replies actually comes via an agency.
When I write back to the lady, they ask me to pay for their services.
As I have already paid for the service at "my" agency, I am not willing to pay once again to another agency...
It is good to hear that the ladies CAN give their address if they are really interested.
The best to do is writing to more girls and hope to find someone who is willing to give their address so we can excahnge postcards and send her gifts from my country.
You keep missing the point here. Its good you get some addresses. But its not a good test to use. Because As Olga and I both have stated, and you seem to not understand. Some agencies don’t allow it and some woman prefer not to give it in the first few letters. Yes you CAN get an address if she wants to give it. But if she does not want to give an address right away or her agency will not allow it, then its not a reason to ignore her. You may not like email. However in many cases it cost her less to use email then to use snail mail. Sending you gifts is costly for her. So email is proof enough for the INS of a relationship in the making. Plus in many cases it is more cost effective for her. She may have 4 or five guys writing to her and she wont give her address till she is ready. Plus you’re from Sweden. In America it is costly for her to use snail mail and faster and more effective to use email. "not very personal or polite" That is up to the individual. Again I disagree with you. Not everyone is from Sweden. Your snail mail does not have to cross an ocean. Crossing the Baltic with mail and crossing the Atlantic is far different. For us the email is more effective. A small box coming from Russia to the US can take 3 to 4 MONTHS to arrive. The US to Russia is 4 to 6 weeks. A Postal letter is a week to 2 weeks. So maybe you can afford the time involved for snail mail. Overseas we cant. Yes we use snail mail for personal mail now and then and gifts when it’s practical to send them. But for a stream of communications and a relationship to build we need the email here. Don’t mean to be critical here, but not everyone is from Sweden and your way of doing things is not the only way. Some of us have to depend on the services the agencies provide. It’s allot more costly for a person in the States to visit Russia than for you to hop across the Baltic. Phone calls are more costly and so is the snail mail. For us in the US it’s a major investment to do this. Twice that of which it would cost you. So the services the agencies offer are more cost effective for us. If one is able to avoid an agency then great. But in most cases we have to depend on them allot more. Just asking you to realize this. Your way works for you and we are open to hear how you do it. But it’s not the only way. Plus the Highest percentages of usage on these sites are from America and also most sites are geared for attracting clients from the US. That’s a fact! Your comments are helpful for all of us and we all like hearing them. Some of your IDEAS and advice are great. But Olga is the expert here. I am sure she has been doing this allot longer than you or I. Lets not argue with her. Good luck to all
Sure, there is a difference in distance "CodeRed".
A flight from Moscow to Sweden is just around 1-2 hours, and we have ferries from Russia to Stockholm.
Lots of people come here from St Petersburg to visit Stockholm and the trips are not expensive at all.
Writing letters by e-mail here is something you mostly do in business. Personal letters are mostly "snail" to show that you put an effort into writing and have a choice of nice stamps, envelopes and so on.
A Swedish girl would not consider e-mail with "smileys" very romantic...maybe americans do.
What is important is to have a choice, e-mail, or "snail".
"Sending you gifts is costly for her...."
Of course I am the one who wants to send souvenirs and gifts from my town.
This janwas is a real cheapy. No matter what way one looks at it love costs.
Agencies have to get remunerated for their services. End of story !!!
Of course the hosting of the profile and the translation costs.
Of course the agencies will want to leverage as much as possible.
If you want to be cheap, go hang out in your local pub.
I have found and MET the most amazing women through agencies, and they do exist. Go spend the money and meet them.
The quickest way to end agents sending you email on behalf of women (which happens), is to start arranging
a personal meeting in a place of her choice.
Some times these women were not my choice, but they still remain wonderful people.
I have also helped a few personally financially. To me the worst thing is for someone to be so poor that they are
at the mercy of other. The fact that there are women that need financial assistance, is not because they are thieves and scammers, it is because that they have a fundamental view that the man should be the breadwinner and that they as women have a constructive role to play in the family. Many now a days do want careers, so that may be changing.
I have with great patience and consideration educated some on how Western business model works, helped them and they are doing fantastically.
My advice is, first really try and understand their culture, their beliefs and their personal circumstances.
Then perhaps it will change your entire perspective.
Russian/Ukrainian women are not there to make up for the character failures you had in the first place, the actual reason why you are a loser with women.
So if you are a stingy creep, rather stay away from these sites.
Love in the first place is to give, to care for, to help, to be kind to, to enable.
janwas, if you are using fiance.com her english level is in her profile. Big man, these topics have been debated much already and having been to Russia and having married and devorced a russian woman, what you say has some merit but all answers are not answered with cash in Russia and not all Russian are so poor that they are waiting to be saved by you.
"If you want to be cheap, go hang out in your local pub." Here here BM !!
Agree with your other points entirely mate, and I hate mean stingy people, as some of my posts here will back up :o))
ID: You have valid point also mate, but I think your points and BM`s points actually support each other rather than argue with each other, Ive read both your posts through twice and I can see that either of you has said anything contradictory to the others remarks !!
Finally
"How do we separate the Models from the real ladies?"
My view; If the ladies are happy, and enjoying each other, why separate them at all ;o)) Just sit back watch and enjoy, or join in, whatever floats your boat ;o))
Or did I read the topic the wrong way ? I hope not because the mental vision is wondeful ;o)))