Hello
As a new guy in this forum I would like to know what might be the right moment to ask the girl you are meeting what are her intentions, I mean why is she looking for a man with a help of a dating agency? If she is pretty I guess she could find a man from her homeland. I guess first meeting is not the right place for that question.
Finn_man
This is a question that needs to be addressed early in your communications, well before you even consider making the trip to visit her. You should ask many questions so you know you are a potential couple and the trip may actually be worth while. The more you learn about each other before the visit the more likely your trip will not end in disappointment.
And,
What if I am going there with the help of an agency after sending only my introduction letter to the girls I have chosen to meet? Anybody have experiences of this, I believe I read somewhere that "dont ever question her intentions"?
Finn
You should be tactful in asking such a question. It's not asked point blank at a specific moment, bits and pieces about her intentions are learned as you communicate through letters and the phone.
On this forum there is a great thread that talks about the questions you should ask an FSU bride, but obviously you can't make a laundry list of these questions and submit them for your second letter. Most of all, it's just not very romantic.
If you engage in honest communication with a lady then you will realize whether she is serious or not, and what her intentions are, most importantly whether she would be willing to leave her country to marry you.
OK, I didn't understand. If you are using an agency I think they have already screened these girls to some extent and you should not have to worry so much about the scammers. They should be serious about marriage if they are using marriage agency. My friend Izi is in Ukraine right now using agency. Before he left he was convinced this was a much better way to find a girl than writing to so many girls for a long period of time. I think he is right, however I got lucky and found the right one after writing letters to several girls. Of course if you are tactful and ask the right questions and converse with a girl in a short period of time you should have a good idea of her intentions. Of course one of the things most of these girls are looking for is a better life, but they want it with a good man, and that combination can be very difficult to find in FSU. Might as well be you! Remember, if there is no chemistry, move on. There are so many girls to choose from there.
Thank you for your answers,
I guess I would like to ask that question to pick out those girls who are just looking for adventure. But...then again, life itself is an adventure.
I admit that you have to be tactful with that question, but I think it interests every man who is dating FSU women.
I asked this because I wanted to know how "allergic" they may be for this specific question.
The girls I have met were very straight forward, and even asked me that question before I asked them. You can imagine that many more times men go to them seeking only "an adventure". This was the question I heard from my woman many times (am I just your Russian adventure?) until I convinced her I wanted a long term relationship (marriage!)
If you are not leaving for at least a few weeks then keep watching this forum for posts by Izi when he returns from meeting girls with the use of an agency in Ukraine. I'm sure he will be full of useful information.
I second Neon above. Larissa was very straight forward in many of her questions. We had some small differences in opinions is certain areas, but nothing major. I think it is very important to drop these questions in small doses in your letters. It gives them time to understand a translation and time to think it over. You have to understand there is going to be a translation/understanding problem even if she is fluent in english.
First night Larissa and I were together we went to the Czar's Villiage restaurant in Kiev and talked about many things. Actually we talked until about 4:00am in our apartment. After that first night I knew this was the woman I wanted to pursue further. This was after six months of writing,phone calls and finally face to face meeting. When she took me to the airport in Donetsk after our first meeting, she asked me if I was going to continue to write other women. I said, you're a clever woman, you already know the answer.
I personally believe you lay the ground work first and focus on the things of importance. The face to face will tell you by each other eyes if it's going to work. I'm very spontaneous as a person, but in this situation I feel being a little pragmatic in our approach will pay off, we are going to invest time, money and separation from our ladies, it's better to have all the bases covered that you can. I wouldn't trade a moment I've spent with her in the last year and a half, now as her interview date approaches, it's killing me inside. I can almost see the top of the mountain, I'm just not there yet!
You know Finn, this is a question that I worried about also before contacting any FSU women. But they usually asked me first what my intensions were. I met a couple of scammers along the way but I used everyones advice and dropped them as soon as I spotted them. After months of letters and some phone call I thought I knew what my lady was looking for. And when I visited her I must say we talked a lot and I had no doubt in my mind that she and I wanted the same thing.
These kinds of things are not found out in the first or second letters but with continued communication.
Russian and FSU girls in general are very easily offended..by asking them there intentions and doing it wrong ( by there interpretation and they have a strange way of looking a things), the girl will probably dump you and cease contact..going silent is a common way of dropping a guy for these gals!