I have met a wonderful lady named Anna who lives in Sumy. While we have only been writing and talking for a few months now, I definitely want to go see her. She has never asked me for money, and is from what I can tell pretty open about her wants and needs in a man, and that she isn't looking for material goods. I have been reading many many posts on here and from what I can tell I was a bit worried about being 35 and her 23, but that maybe isn't that much of an age stretch? She is an engineer with a fairly complex job at manufacturing plant, lives at home with her parents and brother and seems mature for her age. Sure I am keeping my eyes open and a bit wary, but still hoping for the best. Anyway, planning on going to see her in May in her home town of Sumy in the Ukraine, and was wondering has anyone here ever been to the city of Sumy?
Perhaps one can read too much on chat forums such as this forum. One should not regard every lady as guilty until proven innocent, one should always proceed with caution but the true test will be when the two of you are together, particularly, during the first meeting.
I've never been to Sumy although I understand there is not very much there, it's not too far from Kiev, there is no airport in Sumy, thus I guess the best way to get there would be a taxi from Kiev.
I was there for a day trip from Kharkov to meet a lady. it was only a one hour drive by car from Kharkov. Its considered a small city. Only one McDonald's (Kiev has 23) and a population of about 300,000. I'm guessing your best bet is to take a train from Kiev which will cost you about $10 and will take about 6 hours or take a taxi which will cost you at least $100 and probably take about 4 hours. Have you thought of inviting her to meet you in Kiev. Much easier for you and most girls jump at the chance to go to Kiev. Kind of like inviting a country girl to New York for the weekend. By the way how did you meet her. Using this site or some other?
I was in Sumy last year. It's a small, industrial city. It's not a bad place to visit, but certainly isn't particularly interesting. There is a small, car-free, downtown area with a few decent restaurants, a bowling place, and a pool place. The best restaurant that I found was a traditional Ukranian place called Starry Mill (I think it translates to "Old Mill").
I met a lot of girls, and for the most part found them to be down-to-earth and sincere. In general, the girls I met were a little less worldly than girls I've met in bigger cities. They hadn't traveled much, lived with their families, hadn't met many foreigners, etc... Also, the girls that I met were very serious about marriage.
Life in Sumy feels a bit bit bleak, as compared to, say, life in Kiev or St. Pete. I don't think there is much opportunity there, for anyone. I can see why a young person would not be opposed to leaving Sumy. One of the girls that I met said that she had a choice: she could stay in Sumy and be near her parents but suffer her whole life with a Ukranian man and have no future; or she could try to find something better in another country. (Note: this is exactly what she said to me. I am not trying to insult Ukranian men.)
I stayed in what was supposedly the best hotel in the city, in what was supposedly the best room in the hotel. It was about $50/night, and was acceptably clean and comfortable. There was a little restaurant in the hotel. In fact it was the smallest restaurant I have ever been in--about the size of my walk-in closet at home. But the food was decent and people were friendly.
I took a taxi to Sumy from Kiev. It was about 5 1/2 hours and cost $125. I had arranged it before so that the driver was waiting for me at the airport, which was a good idea because the taxi drivers at Kiev are very aggressive, and if you are wandering around looking confused you will be harassed a lot.
There is a fairly active MOB business in Sumy, so it might be prudent to contact an agency before your trip and set up a plan B, if needed.
Thank you guys for the responses and the impression of Sumy. It is definitely lining up to what Anna has told me. I figured it was fairly provincal and as she said it is an industrial city. Population wise that is similar to the suburb I live in but I think we have 23 dang McDonalds within a five mile radius. Gotta love U.S. suburbs. Anyway, I met her actually through Global Ladies and have been corresponding with her for some time. We are taking the next step to talk more on the phone, and her English isn't the greatest so I've had to use an interpreter. Also, I have written a few others via Global Ladies, Elena's, and City of Brides, but none of them really went anywhere or I didn't feel comfortable writing with them, i.e. had a hard time finding things to talk about. I am a cautious man and as you said sometimes reading these forums can throw a guy off, but right now things feel right. She is very open with me, answers my questions in the emails, says the right things, she does say she is starting to have strong feelings for me, but is practical and not declaring undying love or marriage already. She is I believe honestly very excited for me to come over, and I can't hardly wait. I did a tiny bit of investigation with GL.com and they said the agency was one of the most reputable they dealt with in the Sumy oblast, that she had been a member for just about a year, and that she was writing a few gentlemen, but not many. I am guessing less than five. I am also guessing that none of them have put the cajones up on the table and found the resources to go visit her. It is nice to confirm that they are very serious about marriage as I also am very serious about meeting someone for a serious relationship, in fact, the reason I am divorced now is because my wife didn't want to have kids, and I do. I always thought that was priceless, that I would be the one getting divorced because I wanted chilren. I am glad that someone could confirm no airport in Sumy, and I had already expected to take the train. She also mentioned her family has no car and they do walk everywhere, which is okay with me, it can't be that much walking, right? LOL, well, more than I usually do but I usually do about five miles on the treadmill or so when I hit the gym so I'm not completely useless in walking. We did discuss meeting somewhere else such as Kiev or Kharkov, but I think she is a little leery to just go off and meet a strange man. As the beautiful 23 year old she is (she looks like a young Debra Messing but I think better) I can understand that. She's an engineer for her job, so beauty and brains, and that is exciting to any man. We decided it would be best if I met her in her home town, I am sure be introduced to her family, and probably protective brother (which is to be expected), and see if we hit it off. She is not adverse to us going somewhere else from her words, but wants us to make the decision when I get there. I am thinking of trying to see if her brother and her will come and meet me in Kiev before I go back with them to Sumy. Can't cost that much with the prices you mentioned for the train. Anna lives at home with her twin brother Andrey and mom and dad, and the interesting thing is most of them all worked at the same food manufacturing place in Sumy. Maybe that isn't interesting....LOL. So being 35 and her 23 doesn't seem to be much of a stretch from what I've seen on the forums? I was mainly looking for ladies 25-33 but for some reason I just felt I had to write to her, and went under my usual responses. I do plan on having a Plan B in place as I am taking two weeks of vacation, if we REALLY don't hit it off, I don't think 2 weeks in Sumy will be much fun...but the best plan is I hope to maybe spend a week in Sumy, and then maybe get her to go somewhere else for the last week, maybe Odessa, or Crimea or somewhere for a vacation to her as well.
Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't Global Ladies the one whereas after you register you are then inundated with letters from ladies, perhaps 5 a day, and they all arrive into your inbox at the same time?
Global is a 'grey agency', City Of Brides is a very 'black' agency.
Do you run a Google search on agencies before conducting business with them, it's a good idea to.
Chuckles,I am not sure if you have been to a FSU country before but just in case you have not: absolutely under no circumstances get drawn into a "shopping spree" by these ladies. A couple of things that you initiate is ok but no more than that. They will test you! They sort of spring into action after a few days. Having said that, if they suggest some undergarments....then you know they are getting ready for you know what :). If they further suggest some slippers and house coat, then they are probably planning on staying with you for an extended time, but then again, weight this very carefully. Anything more than this, keep your ear to the ground and mind clear.
If she does not ask for anything then you may be one of the lucky ones. Moderation is the key word here, no matter where you are from and these ladies are no different and should know better if they are serious about you. Enough said.
If you are serious about her, ask to met the parents and gage her reaction. Most of the ladies will have no problems with this. Plan B is always a good policy even if you think you will never need it. In Ukraine, local cabs are very inexpensive, specially in smaller cities ($2-3).
If you want kids this is a plus. Just a bout any woman there under 40, who is single and does not have kids will want one. So you see, you already have the upper hand and they will be much more interested in you. The age difference is not a problem. These women are usually more mature than most in the US.
totally different ! hey guys ive just been through a sickening site - a friend at his home viewing a web site Aussie one you know meet a girl type of site --i learnt so much in a 20 minute look --i ever apprieciate my russian girl more than ever now .
You should have seen this site -------talkabout dragons ! fatties and toothless terrors ( and they have the cheek to depict an age group they are after in a man eg! girl 31 wants bloke 33 no older ( god and the piccy of the woman --porky pig --gone bad ) hell how can beggers be choosers -absolutely repulsive !
I thought ok maybe just 1 dragon --got through the ''net '' so to speak but scrolling down my god -----more antiques than sotherbies ! and the criteria they have the gall to ask for ! house bloke with fabulous job etc / they got to be joking ! i look at my girl 30 year old georgous - style --and what yu'd get in aussie is a tripple deacker chinned one 4 stone over weight --legs that look life a pair of telegraph poles are headin towards yu .
AND THEY COME ACROSS AS CHOOSY ! special with the age thing --what a joke ! christ iam 48 but be long time dead if i had a girl over 34/ 35 --no way --you cant stay young with and antique hanging off your arm .
( I trade in antiques --i dont need to carry one around !) yuk !
ohh yes boys after tonights education into the land of the ''boilers '' i love my russian girl a lot more than ever ( WE DONT KNOW HOW LUCKY WE ARE !) ---have a look some of these aussie sites meeting joints - its bloody horrible --hope yu aint got weak stomach ay .(scary huh to think had we no ''russia '' what horrors we'd end up with) --i think id rather go gay lol lol. they should be banned .
Jetson gives sound advice. Shopping in moderation is fine. after all she is a woman. :) I have taken a couple of girls shopping and neither of them pushed for more. The best $100 I spent in my life. :) If they really push for more then you can assume she is maybe a professional dater and uses all the guys she meets this way. Or she still could be a nice girl but loves to shop on your dime too much. Trust your instincts. By asking to meet her parents and family you will indicate to her you are serious. If she agrees then she is serious also. If she ask you to her home to meet the parents on her own invitation this is again a very good indication she is serious about you. Your agency may be grey list or black list but your girl still can be real. Do you have her personal contact information? Mobile and home number? Postal address? A true scammer will never want to give this information and will find any excuse not to give them out. See my thread 'Me against the scammers of email forwarding' to see some examples. Good luck chuck!
you are right deano if they show you the family/ details its all legit --the scammers il give you the number of local supermarket --you have it in 1 --i seen recently though a girl in ukraine the scammers pinched her pics / details passed emselves off as her --destroyed her credibility and she was none the wiser it was all happening .
I dunno mate --how could they ruin the next person's life - just for a few bucks *( how can yu sell out fellow human for $100 / $300 bux )--------more to the point -why would yu bother ay .
i DONT KNOW HOW THE SCAMMERS SLEEP AT NIGHT . i know hear in aussie if a girl done that she'd be front page the paper and sh'd probobly get 5 years too ---- the russian authorities really do have to lift thier game i reackon .
One would think in a country where previous governments just made thousands dissapear that the theft of guys / dollars coming to russia --with its ever so poor economy that , the law id be draconian on ripp offs thier ay ?
I live in hope that the next few years -il see all scammers in these countries literally stoned in the village aquare -i think in reality one would only have to make big example of a dozen or so --------and the rest id toe the line.
Short sightedness on thier part -us western guys ok we have a dollar -look how the scammers think -very short term gain steal; a $$$$ on tuesday maybe what $100 --a pitiance you they then alianate furthur help from others not real smart ay .
For a race of folks that are very eductated one would think that short term gain / rippoff plans id simply not be worth putting into place .
in my time ive had trouble trying to work out why they would bother with the $100 scams i mean hell if yu gunnu rob a bloke -----might as well go for the lot --time in jail is same $5 or $500,000 ay --end result is the same .( and they will get caught )
still as i always say these girls only get what we give em --we are in charge thats a solid fact .
Chuckels just read your post -mate age difference to over there -its not an issue -iam 48 my girl is 30 --yet id be long time dead before i took up with a girl over 35 --whats age its nothing ---but yu dont want an antique at my age --never worry about age mate --its worth nothing ( i mean long as my girl in my life is always 15 plus years younger than me who cares ) man has destiny to die with good sort hanging off arm !its called style -------you only live once ! id be violently ill with sommitt 48 hanging off me --------my commitment id be gone in a flash ----like introducing yu mother to yu friends ! only as old as the girl yu feel mate lol lol lol . !!
age is nothin in my case --like i say long as 15 plus years younger --iam happy -apart from that mate -------id rather be on my own than end up with a number 9 boiler teaming up with oneself .
shaken not stirred mate . man has to have class .
Jetson, Stevo, Deano, I appreciate all your comments. I have never heard or read things being called a "grey" list or a black list, but I quickly figured them outm, as in lots of b.s. ladies. I suppose separating the wheat from the chaff and not blowing thousands is what we do...LOL. I did get inundated by Global ladies emails (and I don't think I would really recommend them), and most of the emails which I looked at (not opened the letters which costs me money) I deleted. I opened a few on there, wrote to a few but until Anna, none of them seemed to be going anywhere, write a few letters and no magic. I felt if I couldn't just flow with writing to them then it wasn't right, if I'm forcing myself I'm wasting my time. Then City of Brides was worse and they ticked me off, I wrote to a few and most I deleted there too. Terrible lettes, staccato, broken and maybe a couple that were real ladies I think. Elena's I've tried writing to several and none have wrote me back. SO right now I think that is a waste of money too, and don't razz me but I bought her book, and laugh a bit now when I read some things written about it. Now, I know I'm not the most handsome guy in the world, probably a 5 to 6 on the scale, but thats okay, you work with what you got (same way I feel about women confidence makes up for looks sometimes!) and probably on some of those sites like Elena's the hot ones get tons of letters, so they're even more picky. I feel pretty good about Anna for quite a few reasons. I don't really have a hang up about age, if she was 28 or 34 I still would have been fine, but 23 is good too! Her first two letters were a little worrisome, as they were more generic (but still she would answer some of my questions in them) and her fourth letter really kinda freaked me out because it was very similar to her first letter. I read some things more on boards and I think maybe her agency was blasting out her intro letter and she probably didn't know that and her fourth letter had a lot of the same things in it. That is when I asked Global Ladies about the reputation of the agency (which they said had been with them for a long time), and about Anna in specific. They told me she had been a member about a year, there was no complaints about her and was writing a "few" gentlemen, but not a high number. Of course I have to assume they were telling me the truth, or maybe not, and I would be SUPER paranoid. So I was guessing if they're telling the truth, then probably less than 5 are maybe writing to her, but also guessing if she has been a member for a year maybe none of them were making a serious play and planning to visit her. So after that sort of assuaged my worries, I started being a lot more open with her and it became real natural to write and communicate, and it was like flipping a switch in her. She became much more personable and direct, and I saw a lot more of her thoughts. She has repeatedly said in her letters, maybe many of them do, she has a good job (not terribly exciting she said but paid good - engineer at a manufacturing plant), she isn't looking for a man to get material things, she isn't looking for welfare, just a good man, who loves her, respects her, treats her right, wants a family etc. Anyway, she has been very descriptive telling me about her brothers, their lives what they do, and her parents (although she hasn't said their names), but maybe she hasn't thought to, as they're just mum and dad as she says. She has been very open with giving me her address (in her second letter when I requested it), her parents home phone (she said no cell)right away when I requested it, and can't wait for me to call her on Saturday (which I am doing with an interpreter). I plan to try to initiate getting her to get her own email account and get off of the screw me royally costs of GL.com. Hoping that works. I also think if she was a "professonal dater" she would have responded to my wanting to come over there as I suggested meeeting in Odessa, Kiev or Kharkov more openly to have "more fun and spend more of my money." I honestly don't think she is planning a shopping spree, but I am a cautious man too, I can read those signs, but I am not adverse to spending a little on someone I feel as special as she is. So since she didn't do that with the major cities, and she really wants me to come to her home town. I would imaging if she is doing that, then I will probably be meeting her family, which as you said bodes well too. The fun thing is she doesn't know it but I have surprise flowers showing up on Friday for her, of course, I requested a digital photo as well, so I am looking forward to that too. I will definitely let you all know how that goes after the call.
Hey, also a question, especially on Jetson's comment about they will test you. Were those experiences with more "big city" type of ladies, than smaller towns, or was it a cross range. I expect she probably will test me a little anyway, every woman would, but I plan on being a gentleman, fair but firm about what we buy or do while still having a good time, but again trying to emphasize the us time and not what I could, would or would not buy her. If she is an honest lady as I believe she is, then that probably won't be a huge issue.
I recently returned from Sumy and had a great time. I stayed at a new hotel named Pan and they have a web page The rate was $55.00 US dollars a night. It was the friendliest hotel I ever stayed at. All the recptionists speak fairly good english and everyone there made me feel like a member of the family. When traveling you have to keep an open mind and understand the economic situation of the country. The city is old but very clean. Most people live in very small apartments and make the best of their situation. I recently returned 3 weeks ago and of course the weather was over cast for most of the time that I was there. I never really stayed out later than 11:00pm but then that is me. I never felt out of place and everyone that I met was very friendly and very socialable. I was really amazed how everyone carried themselves. All the women dressed very nicely everyday of the week. By this I mean I never saw any women wearing sweat pants and the like in public. The food was very good and cheap for us. However some of the public toilet facilities are lacking. I wont say any more on this subject but you will be surprized I think. It should be very beautiful in Sumy in May with better weather and everything blooming and turning green. If you are patient and sincere I think you will have a good time. If you are the type of man that travels abroad and think by throwing some money around the women or woman will flock to you I am sure you will be disappointed. I witnessed this with another American staying at the same Hotel. Needless to say he was disappointed. I spent two weeks in Ukraine and the lady I went to see is the most wonderful woman I have ever known. We spent everyday together and sometimes with some of her friends mostly female friends. All of which I thought were very down to earth and classy women. I wish you luck, KC