Lizzie there are tours to other countries than the FSU (Former Soviet Union). I know there are tours to South America I believe to Thailand and some other Asian countries. I suppose for guys that have not traveled much outside of their counties it would be a comfortable way to go. Also for some, Jetmba being one, a face to face meeting is preferable to letter writing. The way a guy approaches his search depends on his comfort zone. I do not know if one could be said to be better than the other.
As far as marriage agencies being big business…I don’t know. That was one of the things my fiancé suggested I do so we could stay in Ukraine, but from what I could find out if it was run totally on the up and up, IE: no scamming, good value for the money the foreign client spent, etc, it would be very difficult to make a decent living.
Now to the reason these ladies are looking outside their countries, I think that would probably vary as to age group. Personally I have been interested in ladies over forty preferably over 45 as I am 55. The reasons I have been told in conversations with ladies of this age group is the availability of men that want a family and not a mistress, drinking habits, fidelity. I hate to generalize as I have met and know many Ukrainian men who are good husbands and excellent fathers, but then they are spoken for.
It is not unlikely for a Russian/Ukrainian husband, so I'm told, that once he receives his salary he spends it on alcohol, gambling and women whilst wife and children are in their apartment struggling to survive and cope with the economy. To me gambling and women are pretty much the same thing :))
We all seek financial stability, we go for the higher paid job, we work extra hours, we invest in property etc. What is so different about an FSU lady?
Perhaps up to 50% of the agencies you come across on the internet are non existent, they might be a scam operation or a single agency operating under several identities. Also, many of the ladies featured are not looking for a man, they may have been married some years back but a pretty face on the site attracts the men and the fact that she has not been available for years may not deter the agency from continuing to sell her contact information.
A lot of men are only interested, indeed will brag about, a lady umpteen years younger than themselves but the 'sugar daddy' scenario operates just as well amongst these ladies as it does worldwide.
I happen to have started dating foreign ladies because I have lived and worked in several countries and not for age or prettiness. I have married my lady for her mentality, personality, sincerity, sense of humour and because we get on so well together and not for any other reason.
Great answer Bill. You seem like a very nice gentleman. Hope things work out for you! I myself have a friend(age 53) who has met a Ukrainian woman(age 36). He emailed her for a couple of months and met her after that. After spending 2 weeks with her, he is ready to marry her and planning for that. She doesnt speak English and he doesnt speak Russian. Just wondering if it will work, whether she can get acclimatised to the American way of life and whether they can make it work? Does he know her enough to start planning marriage? I guess life is a gamble and we wont know if it will work unless we take that risk! But at the back of my mind, is marriage plans reasonable thinking after only being with each other for 2 weeks? By the way, he also is looking for business opportunities over in the Ukraine? Wow...how does everyone survive the cold cold weather without much heat?
Martin, kudos to you for finding that perfect person for yourself! May i ask how you met her? And after how long of dating, did you propose to her? Also, how do can you tell if an agency is the real thing or phony?
It is difficult for some to understand how someone can make a decision to marry after only 2 weeks of face of face meeting. In my case we corresponded for 8 months before I went to visit. In that eight months we covered many subjects and the same questions were asked over and over by both her and I so I think if there was any deception it would have shown up as different answers over a period of time. In a nut shell I think I know more about this lady than I did my former wife who I dated for over a year before we married. Also keep in mind that once she arrives in America they have ninety days to actually marry, so this gives them a chance to be together in the environment they will live in. As far as her not knowing English…my experience is that once one of these ladies commit to a course of action they will pursue it with single minded intensity. As far as dealing with the cold…it is something they do. When I was visiting we lost water pressure for about a day and a half…after a few hours I asked if there was some way to find out when the water would be back on. She told me that it served no purpose to complain, it would come on when they turned it on and complaining would not help.
Any agency, any lady, addresses, phone numbers etc. an internet search engine is a wonderful tool.
Whilst I understand that you ask with the best of intentions Lizzie, my personal life is personal however I met my wife whilst I was already in Ukraine, we met in person rather than via correspondence and we decided, mutually, upon marriage when it seemed the natural way to go, something that we both wanted and were both 100% decided about.
A man deciding upon marriage after only one visit to the lady is a recipe for disaster, I tried it some 4-5 years ago! They don't know each other despite how they may deny this and two people that decide upon something so quickly, well neither of them can be considered serious. It may work but the odds are against it working!
Bill: Speaking of the cold weather, I wasnt talking about the Ukrainians dealing with it, rather I was talking about how someone who is used to warm weather could deal with the blistering cold over there?
Martin: I am sorry if i overstepped my boundaries with my questions.
Bill and Martin, thanks for your great answers to my questions and wish both of you the best.
Martin the beautiful thing is you run your mouth behind a keyboard. As for saying unkind things, you have the biggest history of that, and also with littering this forum with ridiculous posts. Now the real beautiful part of this story, Sunday I depart for Kiev, and whilst you are still playing with your keyboard I will be returning with my future wife. I will quietly fade into the past while you stay here and jerk people off. Too bad I had to change my flight arrangement, I sure would have liked to bought you that pint at Heathrow. As for posting your profile here, I think you rather deserved that. Though Izi might have went a little overboard, you had that coming. As the part of listing their profile in this forum, I think that is better left to the person who owns that profile and not you. I heard when Izi posted your profile you immediately removed it from the the freepersonals website? Free personals!!!???? And you question the practices of fiance.com? Though I did chuckle at Gladiators comment, he was trying to figure our who was more tranquilized in your picture, you or the lion. Yep, I'm sure all them babes were saying is it real? More like are those two really alive?
I believe you were quoting me, scubagoof. And there are a lot of women who become mean and unreasonable after a divorce which I do not understand unless they were always that way but one couldnt see it because they were blinded by love initially. I also am an "ex wife" but I chose the easy and less frustrating way and we remain friends and business partners. We both have moved on with our lives. Hopefully, this will be the norm instead of being abnormal in the near future.
My thoughts on a couple of points of this topic!!!
I once heard that " there is a little bit of bad in the best of us and a little bit of good in the worst of us; but it ill behoves of the most of us to speak as we do of the rest of us".
It is difficult though to have any discussion without being allowed to generalise; and generalisations can only be based on our personal experiences! So here is mine refering to a couple of issues:
I think when a man is very young he looks for someone older and as he gets older he starts looking for someone younger. I have met much younger women in all countries in the UK, Scandinavia, and mainland Europe including Greece!
Money is power and power excites women irrespective of their nationality! However what constitutes "a lot of money" will differ from country to country according to what the average income is in that country.
Ladies that grow up in cultures where "women's lib" is not wide-spread and women are not generally financially independent (including good social security safety nets) have an attitude towards "their man" which apeals to men's "prime" instincts - at the very least it is refreshing, different or at least leads to less arguments. This of course changes with what we call "progress"
Finally it is prudent when generalising to ensure we compare like with like as diferent cultures exist even in the same country depending on geographic area, education, upbringing etc.
We all know deep down what we can be or what we would like - the only question is what is our price or what we are prepared to pay for it.