The age old wisdom says you can learn the easy way (thru others), or the hard way (doing it yourself). I was very confident because there were too many pretty girls writing to me, some for at least a couple of months.
I flew into Odessa, ride to Nikolaev, stopped at the marriage agency there, and gave my list of girls to the administrator. She called the girls, but girls said they were "busy". I waited for a couple of girls she couldn't get a hold of, so I stayed the night there. Next morning she told me they too had refused. It was very disappointing because most of the girls on my list were from Nikolaev.
Since Sumy is some distance to the north, I preferred to call the marriage agency there. Girls there were very willing to meet me, but the agency was so insistant on sending out a ride for me, apartment and interpreter that I decided not to go, partly because I had only a couple of girls there.
I returned to Odessa's night life, and met a girl who gave me her phone number. I started looking for Viagra or Cialis, just in case it came down to it, because poor diet and travel fatigue had taken its toll on me. I bought some, which must have been sugar pills because the pills didn't help any. Anyway, the next time I saw her she was asking for $60 for her apartment rent.
The rest of my vacation, I spent in my hotel room watching cable TV.
I don't think any lady with any self respect would have sex on the first or second date anyway. Well not the normal moralistic Ukraine ladies anyway. American sluts will drop their knickers for any guy though.
did you arrange to meet these girls before you set off? Or did you just arrive and say "here I am come and get me"? Did any of the girls sound as though they were really interested before you came? And what you on about $60 for apartment rent from that chick you met in the club?
I forgot to mention Kherson, where I had a couple of girls I had been writing to thru another website. One was unavialable, but I met the other, who turned up at my hotel for the next 3 days, taking me to expensive restaurants and shopping. On the last day together, I voiced that may be we could do some sightseeing for a change, and she didn't turn up the following morning.
I had another girl from fiance.com who wanted to meet up in Lugansk for a single day of 9 to 5 sightseeing, dining and shopping. She actually wanted me to come from the US to spend a single day with her. So, needless to say I didn't go for her at all.
It was "Arrows of Love" marriage agency in Nikolaev, which doesn't turn up on any web search. There is nothing that says you must set up appointments in advance to meet girls. I had written to girls individually the approximate week I would be coming. In their letters, they were all looking forward to meet. Like I said, there were many girls I had been writing to for the last 2 or 3 months, and had even sent flowers to a few. "Busy" doesn't mean that they couldn't meet right then and there, but that they were too busy to meet for the next couple of weeks. I was writing close to 30 girls from Nikolaev. What are the odds that all 30 were busy for the next couple of weeks?
Not trying to sound old or anything but you can learn by experience and sound the sort of guy that will.
I still can't imagine why you chose to stay in your apartment for the remainder of your time in Odessa when there is an O'Briens Irish Pub in town :)
It does seem that you were writing to far too many ladies, you say 30 from Nikolaev, you talk of 2 from Sumy, a number from Odessa and 2 from Kherson.
I'm laughing but you can't possibly write to that many ladies and READ into their letters what they are actually saying, to understand there Russian?english sometimes it can be read 6 times and interpreted 6 different ways, well you would have needed a personal BLOODY secretary to READ all these letters and it sounds like that you would only have had the time to give each letter the 'once over' before replying and your reply was probably much of a copy and paste of the other ladies to wrote to that particular day.
Like I say I'm laughing but for next time perhaps you may start by writing to 30+ ladies but it is a fact that not all these ladies will be serios about you and you need to eliminate them from your enquiries by means of questions and answers in your letters.
Point 1 is in your early letters to always ask a couple of questions to establish if she is reading or letters or just giving them the 'once over' before copying & pasting.
Point 2 is to expect her to ask sensible questions of you, if she doesn't ask questions, and talk of the weather and how was your day at work do not count, then she's not serious thus eliminate her.
Once she's passed these initial tests, and one would presume that you will also run her name thru a search engine, then propose a meeting to her, as the letters continue discuss with her how you will occupy your time together (DO NOT TALK ABOUT INTIMACY) and what the two of you will do and see etc. and depending on these answers, i.e. is she actually thinking of your time together or she simply can't be bothered to discuss that, then you should be able to detect if she is serious or not, she should at least mention about taking time from her work.
I wouldn't bother with the sending flowers business unless it is her birthday or womans day or something similar and these ladies know that flowers and a photo indicate that the guy is having her checked out, how would you feel if some florist turned up on your doorstep with a camera? I know what I'd tell him to do :)
Well Martin, it wasn't like this. I initially walked in with a list of 15 ladies, but when they turned up "busy", and after I got over the shock of it, I resorted to a nearby internet cafe, logged on to fiance.com, looked up some other less desirable (not entirely based on looks) ladies I had been writing to or had written to. I can't possibly write every detail of my trip. The main idea is that reality turned out to be far different than my expectations.
OK and yes, as soon as you explained your trip I pictured the scenario and understodd. You make a very good point 'what 30 ladies all busy for the next two weeks'.
That Arrow of Love agency, isn't this affiliated with the Angelika network (A seach engine suggests that it is)? Angelika is 'didgy' as the very least and many of these organisations have introduced their own supposed anti scam policies, to advertise them online, only to confuse the search engines when a guy searches for 'angelika network scam' but if you read thru the results you will get there eventually.
No. I wrote to so many Nikolaev girls because they never mentioned shopping, interpreters, rides and apartments. So when they refused to see me, I figured interpreters, rides and apartments were too much of an incentive for the couple of girls in Sumy to want to see me. I was dishaerated man.
Joblo, I'm afraid your story will be told again and again in the future by some other gentleman using the same approach to finding a future mate. The bottom line is that the marriage agency business in Ukraine is so riddled with Scams in one form or another that it is almost completly useless to use them. Having been to Ukraine 10 times myself and having developed good friendships with those who have worked in the agencies I speak from experience. Again I have said this before in other threads. This problem applies mostly to the young, beautiful(18-28), single, no kids type of girl. This type is the money maker for the agency by selling her address and email forwarding/translation letters. Gentleman we hear often Rule #1. Never send money to a girl you have not met in person! Great rule and most of us follow it. But, I would like to add Rule #2. Do not use email forwarding, translation, pay per letter service in any form! You are wasting your time and money! You do not need to establish a relationship by letter first and then go meet your girl! Go meet a girl first and then establish a letter relationship after! I have been to and seen first hand (including Nikolaev) the scam in production. A small room filled with about 6 computers each with a girl who is busy typing away reply after reply to the endless supply of letters from guys such as Joblo. He was a lucky one. He only paid $50 a month using Fiance.com because other have paid up to $8 to send and $8 to read. Joblo you were smart to avoid the offer the Sumy agency was giving you. You would not have met your girls. The agency was eagar to make money off of you by taxi, and apartment rents. I'm curious what price did they give you for the taxi? I know Odessa to Nikolaev (2hours) is about $60-70. Kiev to Kharkov (5 hours) is about $150-180. I'm estimating that the trip from Nikolaev to Sumy would have been at least 6 hours and probably more like 8 hours. I have noticed Sumy has been producing a lot of model quality babes on various websites. This indicates to me that the local agency there has got his scam engine up and running full steam. I've seen this trend in many cities. So many hot young girls on any agency is a big red flag in my book. Gentleman the best advice I can give you is to choose a city, reserve an apartment (One of the few honest things left that an agency can provide but still be aware of price mark ups)and just fly over there. You can find the local agencies and produce your printed out profiles of the girls you want to meet. If she is real they will produce her and take your $15 to $30 introduction fee. Also, you can meet ladies by chance in a cafe, restaurant, walking in the park, or even the club as Jo Blo did. Yes, I read how that meeting turned out but that was in Odessa the city of professional daters. Do not go to Odessa to meet a girl. Go to Odessa when you have a nice girl you want to share a good holiday with. By the way Kiev girls the same as Odessa girls. Rich local men, and rich foreigners have already spoiled them. I have met many ladies using this method and I could have married many of them but I choose not to. I have also met many ladies this way whom I wanted to propose to but they did not want me. All is fair in love and war. But at least I was dealing with real and genuine girls. I will go back because the fishing is still good. :) Good luck guys!
Deano, just personally want to say thanks for that post, kind of coming back down to earth at the moment, i consider myself a switched on guy and also (unfortunately) question a lot of the reasons for the really nice ones to be on the sites, great lifestyle for them, but is a stunning (model) type 23 year old girl in the fashion industry from a large city, going to up and move to blighty, when she can have a fantastic lifestyle meeting foreign men who would spoil her with no problem at all...? has she lived enough life to know what she really wants? I was (and still am) hoping that the different culture, lifestyle and general upbringing of these beautiful eastern women would make them appreciate the opertunities meeting a genuine western man could bring them... I obviously don't believe in sending money to a picture on my computer, therefore it doesn't seem wise to be sending flowers/gifts etc either, until perhaps i can meet and verify that firstly the girl is who she says she is (and looks like) and secondly that she has sincere intentions, but i just wonder how many good looking blokes with money do send flowers/gifts and if it does get them to the front of the que with regards to meeting these stunners?
A continuation... I have a friend who married a girl from the Ukraine in february this year, she is lovely and certainly seems very genuine and a pleasure to talk too, its obviously early days but they do seem happy together, so i always remember that this quest can have a happy ending ( well maybe middle bit...!) however she is late thirties and obviously knew what she wanted, I'm 34 and ideally would like to meet someone a fair bit younger (early to mid twenties) but realise this may indeed be a difficult rollercoaster of a ride, still there is no time limit maybe i will still be posting on here in years to come and i'm sure my outlook will be far different to that, that it is today. I realise to gain the most experiance i must make plans to travel to FSU, but quite where, i am at a loss to know...
I know moderators will read this, but if its posted i wonder if anyone could give me some opinions on Fiance.com...
There has been posts mentioning (quote) 'A small room filled with about 6 computers each with a girl who is busy typing away reply after reply to the endless supply of letters from guys' so (ficticious) letters, but it does seem that Fiance is far more genuine, surely if it isn't pay per letter there would be nothing to gain from making up (fake) letters... correspondence i received answered all my questions and seemed to have a certain warmth to it (unless that was just the way my mind wants to percieve it...!) so my question really is, is this one of the best sites to find one of the, how shall i say, better looking girls? and i hope no-one thinks i'm shallow putting it that way, far from it, but that is one of the main reasons i'm here - i love the look of the FSU women and i'm sure i will find all of their characteristics and traits just as interesting...
sorry to be taking this thread over...! I have just spoken with a good friend (actually an ex-girlfriends father) who i have kept in touch with over the years, he has been living in Ukraine on and off for past 5 years and has just assured me of some great contacts at a hotel in a smallish town in North of Ukraine who will look after me, i am thinking, seeing as i can't decide where to go, and that a smaller town would be preferable to a large city, why not? i'm sure this will be the best way to soak up the culture (and perhaps meet some beautiful ladies too...!) just got to finish my current property and then i think i shall be off (this is much sooner than i first anticipated) but, hell, why not...? There is one thing that would change my mind and that is for miss Wow to pick up the conversations where we left off...! Is it normal for them to read mail and answer quite quickly during week, and then no reply for 2/3 days? i haven't had the e-mail from Fiance to say my last letter has been read, i feel she would at least do that even if deciding not to write further... maybe i'm being too impatient, but would love to know the situation, she is dependant on site e-mails and i wonder how much it costs in these internet cafes, i suppose they can't be glued to them 24/7...
I have mentioned this a couple of times but will do so again. There are a number of local introduction sites. They dont cater for foreigners and are in Russian so there is a challenge to use them. However the upside is tht most are free! you dont have to spend bundles of cash on subscriptions. They usually list whether the girls speak English or any other language (many spaek 3 - 4 languages)so you can select those that wont require an interpreter. The best thing is that they are after genuine relationships as they are not expecting foreigners to write so few scammers.
As usual it is a numbers game. There are many more very attractive women on these sites than marriage agency sites. Literally 10,000s under 25 in Ukraine alone. Not all are interested but many are, but they are far more interested in meetings rather than correspondance so if you use this method do so up to 6 weeks before leaving to go there.
If you want some help trying this or just want to check out what I am talking about write me on firstname.lastname@example.org