was waiting for that one sir Martin... well you have lived more life than me, sir, but not sure i need to get 'a better one' as for wind up, i'm sorry, no, not me, you see i was brought up to respect my elders, its one of the last true traditions of the english, but you must enlighten me as to why i should extend that gratitude to your very good self...? I believe i pointed out that everyone is different, thus leading to a world of different opinions, however, to believe i need to 'get a life' when i have a bloody good existance already is a little beyond me...
you see, i obviously still have a lot to learn about the female race, and am sure they work differently to us males, but why the 'get a life' when all i have asked is to find my equal? not sure that it was warranted, when most on this board are here for the same reason, some can express themselves perfectly, others not so... 'get wet for me' hmmmm no, it takes far more than a picture for that, i thought you may understand the word 'chemistry' and i'm not knocking you if not, your goals are far different to mine, but try a little harder to understand, instead of posting an abusive reply, i'm sure i'm not that shallow...
reading between the lines, i fully understand Deano and would like to say 'get on, how do's?' give me an update, mate on your quest...
Martin i'm prepared to grow old, a lonely man, its not likely, but i could have settled for a lovely girl and family, however, i couldn't exist that way, not without the weak knees feeling, already two correspondence this week have given me that drug, i crave and i feel i would trade 5 and half years for that feeling of being out of control...
your experiances are far different to mine, please don't insult me by telling me i need to get a life, when you don't know me and you certainly don't understand me... we are all equal in this life and as a younger you may learn from me that this is very important...
Finding a marriage partner in Ukraine. If you're over 35 years old, consider being age appropriate. Do not seek a 24 year old woman from Ukraine or Russia...these women are very smart, very savvy, and at 24, probably not serious about marriage and settling down. Many of the RU/UKR women are honest, seeking a second chance in life and love with a man from a culture that doesn't view women as second class citizens. But, if you're 35, seek a woman in her early 30's. If you're 45, seek a woman 35-38. She will be your peer, have similar values, and you will have a smart, settled woman looking for a good relationship. Be looks appropriate, too. Models in Russia know they're models. If you're of avergae looks, or below, understand that looks do count with women, but are not the whole story. Some balding, average men with decent jobs, good social skills, are valued. Looks are not everything. However, reme,ber the women are smart, and Russian culture is very fashion and looks focused...if you're underemployed, with a drinking problem, you're not going to be valued by RU/UKR women...these countries are already full of men who fit this description.
Big Ted, you'll do fine. At least with the attitude that you are willing to live alone. That's the first step in not making a mistake, the willingness to live alone for a time.
The reason for my post, is most of the time I come in here to read, and it's all a bunch of moaning and groaning about Fiance.com.
I just wonder how many disgruntled guys here, didn't do their research, found some hot girl, piled on a plane and went for a visit or visit many girls, or at least try. I'm sure a bunch, then they come back unhappy. As Misha said, you guys with the trophy hunter mentality, better have something to offer than just showing up at their doors and expecting these ladies to fall at your feet because you are there.
Also the guys that go to meet 12 ladies in 10 days. How real can that be? It amazes me, that some guys think they can go meet a slew of women and find the love of their lives.
Save your money and to the Corner Meat Market and find some drunk bimbo at closing time, it will be a lot less expensive and about as sincere.
I spent a few months reading this and other forums before I comitted to anything. Five years ago, I had thought about this journey, but shelved the idea. I knew I needed to live alone for a while, find out really who I was and what I wanted. I spent three years being a guy and living alone. Not much into the pursuit of a woman. When I met my wife via Fiance.com, I spent almost 8 months communicating with here before I went to visit her the first time in Kiev. I also planted in my head this is going to be the one and only time that I went to the FSU, so I better be damned sure that she was the one I wanted to go see.
So far everything has worked perfect. My only advice, besides quit blaming Fiance.com for all your misfortunes, is to slow down, study what you are doing and make rational decisions, not one based on a picture and your overactive hormones.
I would take the time to bring to your attention that I was not abusive towards you thus I refute your claim that I was.
In your post you clearly stated to the effect that you expect, you hope, to find a lady who will develop a strong chemical reaction towards you by her looking at your profile and her reading of your letters and, in only cyber communications, you stated that the battle for her heart would have been won.
I'm sorry Ted, I was laughing so much that perhaps I used the wrong choice of words regarding getting a life but you do certainly need to get out more. All that profiling and letter writing will achieve is an introduction to a lady, you cannot realistically expect for a lady to lose her heart to someone with whom she has never met and it going to take a minimum of one visit to occupy some quality time with a lady before any relationship develops and perhaps one, two or three etc. trips thereafter before any battle of the heart may be won and if you believe that you can achieve all, or indeed any, of this in letters alone then you really do need to get out more :)
no problems, didn't think it was that funny though...! my point was more that everyone is different, and i didn't really mean that all this would happen over the internet, i was trying to make a case for the possibility that a girl might not be serious about dating a foreign male, but possibly get overcome by attraction after meeting and decide to go further... thats all. I find it difficult to dismiss the pictures and letters and stay unnattached from the situation purely because thats my make up, i'm certain its going to lead to a lot of heartache for me, but thats the feelings that i have come to love so much.... no offence intended....
When I said that I was laughing so much I didn't mean that I was laughing at you, I was picturing such a scenario in my mind and that brought the humour on.
You seem to have a thing about age brings experience and make reference to yourself being senior by age to myself, perhaps you have read on this forum what my age is (I don't keep it a secret) but then you haven't made mention of your own age, not that I have read anyway.
I started on this process some 8.5 years ago aged 39, had a 'youngster' of perhaps 30 years, but with perhaps 8 years experience of FSU dating, offered me constructive advice then I would have gladly accepted it, I wouldn't have said, to the effect, you're just a kid, what do you know?
Unfortunately, some 8.5 years ago, there were not such forums as this, there were not the internet blacklists and I'd prefer not to say that I made mistakes but I did make some bad calls and I only learnt by experience, I didn't have anybody to talk to nor to ask for advice.
It sounds like you're just setting out on this venture thus trust me Ted when I say 'It's a bl00dy minefield out there', there is a general preconception by many that these ladies are ready to drop at the feet of any western guy that chooses to write or visit, it ain't like that at all and any lady that is ready to drop either has other reasons for doing so or is downright fat and ugly.
To win a lady in UK you need to romance her, to win a 'good' lady in FSU, and to convince her to leave her country for you, then you have to romance her even more. I had a lady, some 5 years ago, who came to me in UK literally at the drop of a hat, but she had other reasons for doing so as I have previously mentioned.
I'm not suggesting that you should listen to me, or indeed any others, but the content of your previous post does set 'alarm bells' ringing thus it is my personal opinion, with regards to FSU dating, that you should learn to walk before you start running.
Thanks Martin... yes, i didn't make myself very clear at all really, the learning has already begun, and you can rest assured that i take note of everything that is said on the forum, good, bad, whatever... I spent most of the weekend trawling through the scam's threads (of which there are many) and you can be certain i am already sizing up some responces that i have had... i think most are very genuine responces, but i would still very much doubt as to the sincerity of the intentions of the women i am corresponding with, you missed a post of mine where i owned up to being 34, and was only making a point that your never too old to stop learning... i'm making plans to go out to Ukraine and meet with some acquaintances of a friend, and i will make the effort to meet perhaps 2/3 women, depending on feedback between now and then... then the fun will begin, but i will be alert and cautious, and there to see a different culture, if any of the girls turn out to be genuine, then thats a good start... regards...Ted
An internet search engine is a wonderful tool for running a lady's name and other details thru. It should reveal if she is on multiple websites or not and if you add the word 'scam' after her name then if she has been blacklisted. You can also run a paragraph or sentence from perhaps her first letter through an engine, this might also reveal a blacklisting or if indeed exactly the same words have been 'manufactured' by other lady(s).
Martin, yeh cheers, have already done this on three ladies, hadn't thought about the first line of the letter on a search engine though, although if you saw the letters it is blatently obvious they are unique as they answer each question i have posed, couldn't find your e-mail after searching on here, was going to share something i would rather not make public...
What area of the country are you from...?
Where I live and where I'm from are two totally different things, I left my home area aged 17 and since then I have lived in some 15 different UK locations and 7 different countries, I'm currently in Northants.
Just do an internet search for 'odessa marriage agency' or similar, O'Briens is a chain of supposed Irish pubs throughout Ukraine, apparently owned by a British guy, they're pretty good pubs/restaurants but the only thing Irish about them is that they serve Guinness.
I spent a weekend in Odessa close on 3 years ago, if you're with a local then there are plenty of places to go but if you're by yourself then the language will be a problem.
Forget Anastasia, it's a blacklisted organisation, just internet search for 'anastasia scam'.
Actually it is Mick O'Neills in Odessa that is popular.
There would be about 200 nice bars and restaurants in Odessa within 10 min walk from your hotel (which is one of the best in Odessa), just pick one that takes your fancy. If you look hopefully in the general direction of nice young ladies they might just join you :-)!
Not sure if Arcadia will still be open but is wort a visist if it is as it is a popular nightclub area. There are local guides you can pick up that will suggest places to visit and a number of introduction agencies advertise in them.
Blimey, I was on the verge of booking a trip to Tver and Ukraine to meet ladies I've been writing to through Behappy and Cindyagency. Seems I made all the mistakes in the book. I was definitely fooled, I think my ego took over. I live in Cape Town so the trip is a expensive and a bit of an endurance test. Better stick to the local talent I think. Glad I found this forum, thanks to you all.
Well guys you just about put me of this russian dating adventure . To me it seems strange paying to find a partner , so paying any company really does make me think this is just a real bad idea . Wouldnt it be easier just booking a holday to go over and chance your luck in the local clubs and pubs ??? I mean i think we are all just asking for it , but im not going to give it !!
If you pay for matchmaking understand what is driving this business. It is paying for services, contact details interpreters, flowers/gifts, english lessons, apartment rentals, tours. When you are being asked to pay for these services ask what is giving me value and is it just revenue creation for the service provider. Im sure there are genuine agencies but remember even the genuine ones are businesses.
There are plenty of free introduction sites there but are in russian. However there are huge numbers of girls. Picking up your true love in a bar, more likely find yourself naked and walletless or with an undesirable disease.