reading some of the previous posts on here does not fill me with much confidence. as someone who always tries to assess a situation by the potential benefits to both parties in making a decision i cannot fathom any positive reason why an attractive 25 yr old female is going to want to 'hook up' with an ageing 50 yr old american or any other nationality for that matter. as a 27 yr old englishman with a liking for eastern european women i've booked to travel to odessa in april but i've now all but excluded the thought of finding a nice girl. i have no interest in someone who is going to look at me and see an easier life in a richer country. surely the idea of finding a partner/wife is that you fall in love with each other?
i object to an earlier assertion that all europeans are unfriendly. there is a general acceptance within europe that russians are cold, clinical and hard. i really hope this is not true but you certainly can't say a continent of people are all a certain way. unless, perhaps, you're an american who probably has little idea of a world outside of your own (please note that i'm not saying all americans are like this!).
my questions are....
1) is the very idea of travelling to russia/ukraine to meet up with a woman hotter than would give you a second glance in england a bit sad/loserish?
2) is a woman who is 20 years old but would ostensibly be happy to marry a 50 yr old man worth meeting?
3) are there any long term prospects for a meeting like this?
4) russia and ukraine appear to be beautiful places in parts but the reality is that life can be quite grim there i'm sure - is there any way that they wouldn't be keen to move to england/america/wherever?
5) is this romantic or cynicism at its worst?
6) has anyone any positive stories to make me feel better?!
First let me say that there are others wiser than myself on the topic. I hope for yours and everyone's benefit, they chime in.
But to answer some of your questions, please consider that my answers are strictly from my point of view, not any unimpeachable statistical fact, I'm sure that other folks will have other viewpoints.
Certainly in the US, it would be rather unusual in this day and age for a younger woman to marry a man many years her senior. This wasn't always the case, 100 years ago it was very common here in the US. But over the last 100 years social views and some social services have evolved in the US which have created a climate where today, it is most unusal for a woman to marry a man that isn't within a few years of her own age. A ten year spread today would be very unusual. It is unusal to the almost to the point of social stigma. In the US, any guy with a head of gray hair who has a very attractive young woman on his arm will undoubtedly bare the brunt of some jokes, like, "Look at that old geezer with the babe." "I hope she doesn't kill the poor guy in bed." or with a wink, "Oh isn't that nice the way that man is taking his grandaughter out for dinner."
It simply isn't like that in some cultures. In the FSU, it is common. It is so common, almost nobody give the matter a second thought. In many societies, not just in the US, there is far greater respect afforded older individuals. For instance, it would not be unusual in Ireland for a senior citizen to be having a substantive conversation with a 20 year old at the local pub. In the US, most 20 year olds wouldn't be caught dead in the same building with such a crusty old fart, much less engage in substantive conversation over a couple of pints. It's just unheard of in the States.
It boils down to the reality that there are without question societal norms and societal customs which without questiion, differ !
The practical implcations of a 20 year old woman and a 50 year old man is much another matter. Based upon my experience, a 10 to 15 year age difference is about as much as most relationships can handle. Some arguement could be made for 20 years where the woman comes from a culture where these sorts of age differences are common place.
Even if you can swallow a 30 year age difference today, think about the implcations for the future. Is your 20 year old hottie of today going to be interested in pushing your fat ass around in a wheelchair 25 years from now when you're 75 and she is 45 ?
There are also societies where men and women mature at different rates. A 25 year old man and a 25 year old woman are not necessarily similarly mature. This also plays a factor. But in some societies, a woman who has reached the age of 30 without marrying would be what we use to call a "spinster." If she doesn't marry locally by 30, there is almost zero chance of her ever marrying. A woman over 30 is simply undesireable in some circles. If she wants to marry, she has to look elsewhere.
Alcoholism and other anti-social behavors are far more common in some cultures than in some parts of the west. You'll see them referred to as "bad habits" in some ladies' profiles. These young, attractive, ambitious and well educated women have no interest in the locals as a consequence.
In some countries there is literally an arithmatic shortage of men. There are simply more women than men. If you're a woman and want to get married, you may have to look beyond your local village. This point is perhaps best illustrated from the converse perspective in India and China where there is gross over population of men because of govenment imposed population growth inititives of the goverment. This resulted in many, many, many abortions of females because of practical necessity to sire a son to take care of you in your old age.
There are a tremendous number of variables which factor into this equation. I've only touched on a few. The formula is complex. Many have been burned by gold-diggers shopping for a green card. But inherently, it is NOT cynicism's finest hour.
I don't think that there is any gold standard regarding age difference and relationships.
There ARE men who are best suited to finding an FSU woman of their own age (or close to it). There are men for whom a ten to fifteen year age difference is the most that their relationship will tolerate.
In my situation, I happen to always have been attracted to much younger women. I have absolutely no interest in women my own age. Its just the way I am. And from my late twenties till only recently I've always been in great physical shape (had a few set backs with shoulder surgery and something else recently - but I'm getting back to it again). My sense of humor appeals more to younger women (in the west and in the east) as does my activity level.
Depends on what you are looking for. The last lady I was involved seriously with was 23 years my junior. But I felt I was too old for a lady who was 27 years my junior. There was my cut-off. Yours might be different.
it's certainly a viewpoint on one of the things i mentioned.
i have another query...
every day i seem to receive between 2 & 4 letters and then for no reason the letters will suddenly stop for about 3/4 days. it's very strange. i'm also a little dubious that there seem to be new girls added most days on fiance.com.
my questions are:
1) do you think that the girls in the pictures are genuinely the ones writing?
2) does the website simply freeze occasionally, for a few days?
3) sometimes a girl i'd been talking to and seemingly getting on very well with will simply disappear from the site and her profile erased - why is this?
4) does anyone know how a girl registers with this site/pays?
AP. I have been to the Ukraine about 10 times in the last three years. There are many good girls there. I met a lot who were sincere and would probably had married me if I had asked. I also met a few who I wanted to marry but would not accept my proposal. I never asked but I already knew their answer. But I have also met a lot of bad girls there too. Some to the point of evil. So, trust your instincts and weed through them to find the good ones. I've been to Odessa a few times. As I have said before it is a great place to take a girl but not to find one. Most of the women there prey upon the tourist guy. So, have your guard up. Odessa has many great summer clubs. Go to Arcadia. It's a string of beach clubs. Girls from all over Ukraine flock there during the summer. If you meet a girl from outside of Odessa then her stock goes way up. Chances are she will be that sweet beautiful girl your looking for. But she will be hard to find in ODessa. Good luck!