Like I said, nothing against prof photos later on in the profile. But the main photo should tell you what the girl really looks like, close up face and profile. Then you see if it's really a hag or someone who looks after themselves.Furthermore you see if they are happy and have a good life or are just desperate. If you want to look at unrealistic make up pictures of women, I suggest you buy a fashion magasine.
I'ld like comments from u guys who have understood the message, and can explain if and why they are for or against.
They're (dating agencies) selling the images of women just like a magazine..
The good thing from my experience is pretty much 100% of all the girls who had the model photos immediately sent me very natural photos. I think because they wanted me to see exactly what they really looked like, and were aware the pro. shots made them look super glossy. The last girl I was in long-term relationship in USA was a model…and she could make herself look 100 different ways in photos…and in person to a certain extent. The disadvantage about starting relationship with just letters, and photos…is that concerning photos some people just don’t look that great, but in person are quite attractive… it works both ways. There were girls who sent natural photos, and looked better in them than the glamour shots…
My girlfriend had the model photos, but immediately sent a bunch of photos at swimming pool, and without makeup, at home, in a pair of pajamas I mailed her…etc. She then sent a photo with almost every letter. But still looked very different like anyone does from photo-photo. The first night we were together she was concerned if I was happy with her…she said photos, and how a person looks in person vary…
Basically that’s the risk you take until you meet in person…
I would ask her to send as many photos as she can…send money for film etc…
I'm not putting anything on the girls shoulders here. As you say it seems like they aren't interested in being viewed as models. It's the sites which are pushing all these glamour photos - in the name of competing with each other.
It's easy enough to get a reasonable real picture of their looks before you meet in person, but I simply find it reckless and irritaing to browse through profiles where the photos don't have very much in common with the reality. What's the use of that for me or you? As far as I can see that sort of stuff just attracts the wrong sort of men who simply become body image shoppers.It's not like they are anouncing a garment. They are announcing love and marriage. Meanwhile the profiles I read could just as well have no photo, because I don't believe glamour shots one bit.
I think looks are important. And I like to do some sorting before I invest too much time in correspondance. Does that mean I spend less time on the site. Maybe, but it also means I will recommend it more, and use it more, instead of competitors.
What's you r angle on the questionaire idea Jerome?
You know, Norway. I like the idea of having a full face shot. Maybe the agency can provide this via a digi-cam shot on request, if the client is able to come into the agency. Maybe this can be requested via the gift delivery service associated with fiance.com. Some of the glamor shots have poses that "hide" certain body characteristics. Do you think we should ask that they include chest, waist and hip measurements as well? :) Maybe cup size is in order...
First impressions are always important. Just an impression, sure. Usually it's the face that people look at for a first impression, even hedonistic types, it's the face that counts most. People recognise and weigh and inquire about each other, type of person from the face. Everybody has a passport photo. If you get an bank card, green card, fishing card, drivers licsence or a passpost, it's the face. Just why is that - because that's the best known thing people have for measuring up a person's impression? Or are all these simply asking too much.
Norway...I am glad you're back! I think your suggestions (passport photos/ questionnaire) would be helpful in finding good match esp. over such long distance. I am sure someone somewhere has developed questionnaire specifically for this purpose? Some people cannot bullshit a lot like I can… When viewing the girls profiles they often say very little, you’re forced to go pretty much by photo, more detailed questions could help you find someone your interested in before you write dozens of letters… For me it was basically intuition, and luck. As you pointed out, I went just by face…then sent template letter…no photos… just to see who would respond, and then took it from there…it was a very naïve, and superficial process on my part. I am sure a lot guys start this, but it doesn’t work, they waste a lot of money, and time and give up. Basically those who have great communication skills, on both ends, have most success once you begin writing process. A lot of people do not have, or desire these skills, so miss out on the opportunity to meet this way. Most the agencies are not sincerely trying to play the matchmaker…they’re business’…and I don’t really blame them. I think the western/Russian marriage thing is temporary…it developed over last ten years…and I give it about another ten. Most small agencies have a fairly short life…they’re taking advantage of this opportunity and are not really looking to be long-term match making biz. Therefore I don’t think their track record of actual matches…and successful marriages is relevant otherwise they might provide better matches other than just opening up line of communication
As Olga mentioned finance.com is really an umbrella website making contact with all small agencies…however in my exp. with smaller agencies fiance.com still offers better service…and you can most of time find out more info. faster on the girls by going thru Olga at fiancé than the local agency the girl is with…the smaller agencies I have dealt with do not get back to you as fast as fiancé does, it is crazy…I guess they place more importance on their connection to fiancé because that is where they get so much exposure…and money.
I did however have a really good exp. with an agency in Kherson, Ukraine. The first girl I corresponded with at dating-ru/fiancé.com was with this agency, and after things didn’t work out, Elena the director of the agency wrote me… and said quite honestly that she had become familiar with me and what kind of man I was and could see from my letters that I was sincere, and so she wanted to try and find me someone. She then had several girls write me from her agency…some were her best friends since grade school. Anyway all the girls were quite good for me, and I made some great friends…two whom I still correspond with today…just friends (one is engaged to man in Ukraine, the other knows I am in serious relations)…but never really found “the girl”
Anyway at this smaller agency…I think the more personalized matchmaking worked…but only because the director was familiar with all girls…300, and knew about 1/4 personally. A questionnaire as you mention might help bridge this gap in a larger agency like fiancé…
From dealing with this director, and many of the girls working at this agency (I once wired money so office could buy lunch) I basically got the feeling that in general the people working at the agencies can’t help but not get too involved other than business…I think they eventually lose any enthusiasm that my be gained by actually trying to bring people together (which is a good thing) after dealing with both men, and women…and the process
A lot of times when guys start bitchin on this forum about stuff concerning the women…Olga is quick to say you should see some of the things the guys do…
Basically Elena the director of other agency said most of the men she has had exp. with are just looking for hobby…while for many of the girls this is very serious…she has seen guys profess same love for different girls…send picture 10 years younger…show up in Ukraine, and be completely different person…etc., etc. basically all the same complaints we make from our end… there are two sides… she would also w/o compromising her position tell me what she actually thought about some of the girls I initiated correspondence with … she gave me the feeling that I was the only one she was assisting personally
Of course none of my comments are directed to fiancé.com…Olga, Andrei, Slavic…all I dealt with here have been very helpful… basically because fiancé is well-organized business, and they realize what they are selling is service… If they can take some of your suggestions Norway…and personalize their service it should only increase business much like the changes made from how dating-ru was set up to how fiancé is now? But this may not be their biz objective… They are already providing a fairly unique service in that basically all agencies are represented here
Anyway sorry to ramble on…I am not sure what point I was actually trying to make…other than it is basically just a business taking an advantage of a current opportunity
Also concerning photos… someone said “men fall in love with the women they’re are attracted to…women become more, and more attracted to the men they fall in love with…”