Been to EU many times. Twice to Ukraine itself. In a few weeks - I go again. Learned much. But YOU - I don't need as a teacher (or particularly in any other way either).
I am more of a believer in Romance Socials. Its the type of event organized where interested ladies and men have the chance to meet face to face in a social environment. I happen to think that such a meeting is more natural than letter writing and whaich carries with it a multitude of opportunities for deception on both sides.
Its a little more expensive, and might requre a little more courage than letter writing. After all, many of us (including myself) do not feel comfortable in singles bars or discos trying to pick up women. But this is an entirely different experience altogether.
When I read your ealier post - I took the liberty of doing some checking to see which cities mentioned might be having Romance Socials with one of the two companies doing it. Unfortunately neither is.
A Romance Social CAN be expensive - and for the first one I attended, back in October of 2004, it was. I paid some $3,500 for the entire package - plus airfare for my flight from my home city to the connecting point at JFK. Breakfasts are typically included, of course, with hotel stays - but I still had to pay for other meals of course, plus any expenses relating to dating.
This time I paid considerably less. I booked the same hotel on my own. Booked my own flight directly to the city and paid $800 for the Socials. I probably saved $1,000 by making my own arangements. I dated five women and ultimately settled on one great girl who I will go back and see in August.
I've never really used agencies. They are NOT your friends. And I think that they are only out to nickle and dime you to death - not to really help you.
But having said that - I WILL bring the NAMES of people I can contact with agencies, should the WORST possible case scenario happen - and things turn out horribly wrong with this lady. (I don't expect or anticipate that - but better to be prepared than not to be.)
Jet: I am curious, I am not trying to get into your personal life. I have followed the forum and know about your prior experience, which is all too familiar to me. You must be more resiliant than I am. I am still in the game but now I am so cautious I doubt I will ever accomplish anything. You say you have found a great one, good for you but what will you do different? Who wants to get them back only to have them leave because they are unable or unwilling to adjust. Talk is easy. My experience is they say they are serious but what they mean is they are curious. You are a veteran of this, it is common to see three generations living under one roof. How is a simple man to break that connection enough to make relocating halfway across the world workable.
This is the part that gets me, forget the money. How do you invest the time, invest the emotional attachment all to blow up when you are dealing with a woman who likely has never travelled far abroud, really is unaware of all that is involved and the security and familiarity of home is just a flight away? Many questions, no easy answers that I can see.
When I first seriously began this quest - I was simply looking for the youngest (within limits) most beautiful girl I could find. A shallow goal to be sure. But one I endeavored. And I found her. I was 46. She was 23. And she was gorgeous.
The big drawback was that she was also an only child - to a widow. Her father had died when she was eight years old and she was EXTREMELY attached to her mother. Worse, she was spoiled rotten (as only children tend to be) by her mother who did absolutely everything for her. And she grew accustomed to it (and gladly admitted such). And when she wasn't the center of attention she protested quite vehemently - as two former members of this forum can attest happened when they met her, with me, in Florida.
There is more to the story than that - but that is the principal part.
This time I didn't lokk for the most gorgeous girl in the place (and if she ever reads this I am in trouble!) but the girl I found is STILL incredibly beautiful. Her parents are successful and have worked hard for everything that they have gotten, including their own car. (My exfiance's mother was unemployed as was she).
This girl is a university grad and has a job. But she is living at home in a small flat with her parents. Though they obviously love each other - it seems that there is some tension there. She cannot use the phone whenever she likes, etc. etc.
This time I found a girl who is very down to earth and very sincere. To some degree you have to be a good judge of personality to determine that. And you can NEVER do it on the basis of letters alone (has to be face to face).
I sincerely think that this girl would like to come to the US for real and to stay - whereas I was never really certain of that with the other.
Quite honestly, there is a little bump in the road right now. Though I spent perhaps the best five dates of my life with this girl - it was two months ago. And I won't see her for another month. And we talk every two days - which tends to wear thin the experiences that we shared. Her English is great face to face - but causes some problems over the phone - so we cannot really discuss a lot of things in depth. We just have to wait to see each other. And that is getting difficult.
Even more honestly - we are already commited to spending nearly three weeks together when we see each other. That's a long time when you've only spent five dates together, two months ago, so far. We're running on fumes. Uncertainty seems to be rising its ugly head right now - but I hope that we can overcome that with our meeting.
What if it was all just the exitement of the moment. If it was - I will reluctantly have a backup plan. But I hope I won't need it.
Barfly hi mate iam hear mate some friends of mine 1 usa guy 1 enterprising girl by name oksana have stared in ukraine a very different agency .
how do i explain it ahh ! Timeshare of women if you like !
its working a treat and everybody is happy ok its girls ages 18/ 25 odd the guys come stay with em hmm for how ever long suits them !
The guy gets to stay with the girl - see if they work out -like a girlfriends site i suppose apartments are arranged the bird if she dont / he dont work out ! no pressies are kept -----rules aplenty how this oksana has set it all up .
no real money changes hands its a bloody pearl they explained all criteria to me on the mail !
No big ohhh marriage commitment the girls are chosen single --not prostitutes either !
girls have jobs its bloody unique !
Its also about time ! ay free girls willing to take a punt on a man - great nobody is held to anything !
she has the choice remain with the first she meets or wait for the next one !
Relocation of her to another country does not seem, to be in the template of it all !
sure somebody makes a fee somewhere out of it all --but cost to the guy is kept minimal ! definately ''he's looked after ''
Oksana has about 40 birds on the books --its a lot to explain but it takes all the marriage pressure out of it all = good the business is based in kiew with another section of it in lurgansk .
it you would like the site details of the folks running it gladly supply to anybody hear .
Barfly ive survived my turmoil iam ok again with sweet hips lol lol..iam heading off back to russia 17th july - catch up with you on the mail mate ,
mike 00
I am an Indian, was in ukraine 10 yrs back as a student and stayed there for 2 long years. The name of the city was vinnitsa. I was learning Russian language. Initially I was facing problem due to not knowing language, but after few month I started communicating with them, I liked there attitude, they are really proud of their country. At that time Ukraine was going through economic recession, people there was jobless. In our university language teachers where all young girls, and they were really dignified, they were not getting there salary for the past few months, but never asked for any help from us.
Soon I met a girl,she was also a student, was staying in a hostel, I used to visit her everyday, I went to her village during week end. My Russian language improved during those days. She got myself introduced to other people in her village. Everyday I used to get invitation from her neighbors for lunch or dinner. They where really simple & welcoming. They never gave me an opportunity to spend even a single penny. I still remember once I was running out of money, as one of my father's freind was supposed to arrive there from India with money, but he missed the flight. At that point of time she supported me a lot.
Not only that few of our senior student, got married to ukranian girls and they were perfect homemaker.
Friend, I consider it is mere foolishness to search for a bride in a different country, with the help of an interpretor by your side. If you want to know a girl, a country, you must at least speak their basic language and must stay there for few months. U Must get acquainted with them.
I was in some other country last year. and was staying there in a private apartment, at the dead of night somebody knocked the door, I unlocked and saw a girl along with her brother was standing outside, the guy said that girl is ready to spent the night with you for US $ 150. I AM TALKING ABOUT LOS ANGELES IN USA not ukraine. During my short stay over there in USA I got acquainted with few illegal immegrant in Usa, they are into contractual marriage to get green card. They are being blackmailed by their (so called) wife everyday with dire consequences, if they are not handing over the full wages to her.
But my above experience does not made me judgmental about a country or their people.
thanks for your advice and opinions and , of course, for doing some checking for me on the socials.
I am a believer in learning from other people's experiences.
i am like you in that i am not good in bars and discos. Also on a short trip that is really hit and miss.
What are these romance socials like??
Sounds like a school dance where the women are on one side and men on the other
and the few attractive girls are getting all the attention??
btw, who are the two companies who do these socials for future reference.??
what do you mean by "NAMES of people I can contact with agencies?" do you have any contacts you would reccomend i use??
thanks again
A LOT of people try to draw conclusions about what Romance Socials are like. Some suggest they must be like meat markets, some say high school dances. I suppose that it is logical to try to formulate an opinion based on past experiences one has had or can imagine. Unfortuantely those estimations are invariably wrong.
The FIRST Romance Social I ever attended was done by European Connections. They no longer do them so it is irrelevant for me to decribe how they did it. The two companies currently doing Romance Socials are Anastasia-web-tours (I think russianbrides.com will also get you there) and AFA (A Foreign Affair) website loveme.com. The tour I revently went on was conducted by AFA.
Its not like a high school dance or a singles bar "meat market" as the guys are actually the center of attention. The 200 hundred different girls every night are there for one purpose, and that is to get the attention of one of the 15 to 18 guys in the room. He is the prize that they have come to meet. There is no pretense. The girls know whay the guys are there and that they only have one chance. And the guys know that this is NOT "ladies night out" for the girls. They have come with the goal of possibly meeting a serious foreign guy. High school dances and singles bars were never like THAT!
In Donetsk, the girls were already seated when the 18 guys, mostly in suits, enterd the rented disco. The guys go from one table to another - getting the full and undivided attention of every girl at the table. You talk to those who appeal to you and get telephone numbers. Perhaps you arrage right then and there to meet the lady for a date at some future time.
In Mariupol, the guys were the first in the hall. The tables had all been laid out with chanpagne and terrific food of all sorts. The girls came and sat down and again the guys moved around.
You have to experience a Romance Social to know what its like. I attended two tours, nearly four years apart. And I have been VERY happy at the results. No question about it.
I met a gorgeous girl at the first and spent nearly three years with her (negative parts are mentioned in a post elsewhere). This time I met a wonderful Ukrainian who I very well might marry (too soon to say).
No terrible time consuming letter writing (with a Boris on the other end). No buying addresses. And since I can deternime FOR MYSELF how well she speaks English - no real need for translated letters either.