Recently my fiance Inna Vitvitskaya from Kherson Ukraine disappeared on me. Her birthdate is July 5th, 1983. And I will use the term "my" loosely as I guess I am not the only one who has her as a fiance. Unfortunately I did find her, but on a scam site! (www.uaprofiler.com)
I had originally checked into her on scam sites when I first contacted her, but there was nothing. She has only been recently posted on this uaprofiler site. I never suspected anything too much from her, as she appeared the innocent sweet type. She told me she was different than most of the girls in the Ukraine as they were mostly interested in money, and not the man. She was interested in the man, and not the money!! Well, now I find out she was engaged to another man at the same time as to me, and she has been yanking his chain as well by cancelling weddings and asking and receiving money for thes weddings, illnesses to ehr Father and funeral costs for her Grandmother, and in this other man's case also she was evicted and needed money. Unfortunately it seems like she scammed this other man for thousands of dollars, and also did the same for me. I guess I am not as street smart as I thought I was. She also wears ( or has sold) my $2700 engagement ring. She has completely vanished.
I guess now when I look back there were warning signs....but I guess love is blind. I have given her money to avoid working full time at her occupation as she claimed her boss was making advances toward her, and she needed money to get away from him and pay her living costs. I've paid for wedding costs and everything associated with that...ie. wedding dress, limos, flowers, reception only for her to cancel on me twice. She claimed the money was not refundable. At first she claimed her Father had to pay for the wedding, told me he went to work in Russia to pay for our wedding, then told me he had a heart attack and became very ill. So then he could not pay, and asked if I could pay for our wedding in April of this year. I told her of course I would, but then also she needed money for special care for her ailing Daddy. Of course now I think Daddy is laying on some sandy beach with no scar tissue around his heart!
The second wedding date I had with her in June, well her Grandmother supposedly passed away. She told me she could not go ahead with the wedding as she was so close to her Grandmother that she was too distraught and would not be able to smile at our wedding. We needed to wait another month or so. Again she needed money for the funeral costs as since Daddy could not work, there was no money to pay for her Grandmothers funeral. Again this dummy obliged. Our next wedding date in the string of wedding dates was for August. I have not heard from her since before that. Maybe she was sensing something from me, and maybe I was thinking something was up...but again love is blind. Until I saw her on this scam site recently then it really only starts to sink in.
As the person who placed her bio on this scam site says, she comes off very sincere and takes her time at things. She is in for the long term and lots of money. She is not in for some quick small potato fix and then vanish. Our contact from start to finish was over a year. She used to be on several sites from Foreign Affair to Globaladies. Not sure if she was on Fiance.com. Almost all of her bio's have been removed except I see one for a Spanish site and one for an Israeli site. The Israeli site is quite interesting because she told me how she was disgusted with Jewish people, yet she is on that site. If I would have seen that earlier that she was on the Isreali dating site, that would have tipped me off. Unfortunately a little too late for me to see it.
Although at least a couple of us have been scammed by this girl, I hope others will see this and if they run into contact with her, will know better then to get involved and lose much money. I did and am very sorry about it. And I also am embarrassed by it but its better to disclose and help others, than to possibly allow others to be scammed. If anyone else out there has been scammed by her I would like to hear from you so we could compare notes? Innocent she is not, diabolicol is more like it.
That's a tough story to read Bret, sorry to hear about it.
I've said before that the "little" scammers are the most dangerous. The big organized groups have no time to waste, and they go in for the quick and easy kill. Someone like your girl has all the time in the world and can afford to suck you in and then patiently nickel and dime you until you're bled dry. But they all have one thing in common: they keep asking for money, and they keep making excuses. Death/hospitalization of a family member is a hallmark sign. A real Russian woman will never ask you for money for things like this. They would rather crawl into a hole and die before "lowering" themselves like that, especially where their family is concerned. Hopefully your story will serve as a warning to others. I'm truly sorry to hear about your experience.
Bret, just curious. Were you planning on an official wedding and then going the K-3 route? Or was this just going to be one for the family, and you were going the K-1 route?
Bret,
The only point I would make is that if, as you say, your communications were for just over a year and that she only recently vanished then perhaps your first contact would have been in perhaps July 2006.
You also say that your first wedding plan was for April thus you would have become engages, forking out $2700 on a ring in the process, probably a few months before April thus perhaps you would have known, or had contact with, this lady for perhaps 6 months before engagement and 9 months before marriage and perhaps you had only occupied a couple of weeks together during that time.
Also, and having had contact with her for only a few months began to send or spend significant amounts of money citing 'love was blind' having only perhaps occupied a week or so with her.
The point I am making is that this is a classic scam scenario and you rushed into things, like so many guys do, far too quickly. Yes there is a saying to never send money to someone you have never met but even once you have met it is not a license to spend or send money without being proportional to the amount of time that you have known and occupied time with the lady.
My sympathy toward you and your situation. I certainly don't want to kick a guy when he's down, but I would never, in a million YEARS spend $2,700 for an engagement ring, ESPECIALLY for an FSU woman in situations like this.
Oh, I know DeBeer's has long pushed the idea of spending two months salary on a ring (before taxes?) a part of its marketing program - if a guy is making $60,000 a year that's $10,000. But I think its horsesh**. I would never spend that kind of money here or there - and I would shun any woman who expected me to.
If she is making $150 a month - that's 18 months salary. Quite a tempting prize. I've heard of women who WERE legitimate, who couldn't stand the temptation, and they conveniently LOST the ring.
Typical guys in Kherson aren't going to spend $2,700 on an engagement ring - and we all know that very well. So this is DEFINITELY an sign of a guy trying to buy a woman's love with money - and that NEVER works, in ANY country (not true love anyway).
My former fiance wanted to buy an engagement ring in Moldova. I was a little concerned about what she had in mind, because I thought it was going to be a very large purchase. I figured I would rather MAKE that large purchase in the US where I had some control over it (looking for a good price) but I reluctantly agreed to go with her to the jewelry store for what she considered to be a tradition engagement ring. I was STUNNED when she picked out a ring that cost all of $35.00.
I asked her if she was kidding and SHE seemed surprised. She told me that of course she was not kidding. (Actually since she seemed to be laboring over selecting this ring versus another one - I told her to take both - the other ring was $30.00).
They were small gold rings with zircons in them and she was pleased as punch. I DID protest telling her that I would get her a nicer ring when I got back to America. But she insisted that the American ring would not be her engagement ring - as she already HAD that and a more expensive ring wouldn't change it.
She admired that ring and showed it off for the rest of the time that I was in Moldova. I did buy her a more expensive diamond ring later in America - which she liked - but never as much as the two we bought in Moldova.
Thanks for the plugging of www.uaprofiler.com I see this is one of the better scam sites around. The search function is very good.
I have seen quite a few of these profiles on blossoms.com and of course been thrown many a pitch from them.
It is hard to train yourself not to be too aggressive. After all, we are men and are taught to go for the gold early on so to speak. The process takes so much time, effort and money that it is easy to get caught up in the web of intrigue.
Unless I misread your post Bret, I did not read where you visited this woman in person. Did you travel to see her at any time you were writing to her?
I went to meet Inna in the Fall of 06'. I spent 2 1/2 weeks with her. We got along very well ( I guess if you are scammming people you don't want it to go bad!) and at the end of my time there I popped the question. Like I mentioned before there were some irregularities such as she would not take me to see where she lived and to meet her parents. I thought this was strange but she kept saying that I had to be full out serious for her to take me to her home and its not common practice on first meetings. I told her I was serious but she kept on saying that we couldn't be that serious in just a short period of time. She also said her Dad would not approve but he didn't approve of any of her boyfriends, so be patient....and she didn't care what her Father thought. She did take the ring though! That was on the last day and perhaps I should have tried earlier and seen what she would have done by way of taking me to visit her parents? But you want it to be kind of spontaneous and at the right moment....even though you are packing a ring. I was going the K-3 avenue but I guess all along that was a moot point.
I know now I went overboard on the ring, but I just can't do a $35 ring! Maybe now for Inna Vitvitskaya I could, but others no way. I'd be embarrassed to have my wife show people back home here! I think after awhile even they would toss it over some bridge and ask for something better.
I am not the most computer literate guy, can someone out there either tell me how I can place this thread on the internet or place it for me so that whenever someone googles her name it will go to this forum thread? That way they can see the scam site and be warned about her activities? I would appreciate this very much as I really don't want to go on every site and tell my story. But the story needs to be told to warn other guys so that she gets stopped in her tracks. Thanks Bret
About the price of a ring, you are wrong, my girl choose one that cost £15 ($30)
she said we would have more important things to spend money on for our future, i did eventually get one for £125, an she was so happy.
there is no point in trying to justify the reason why you were scammed, you obviously gave the money/ring before doing any tests, get back on the horse and do it more carefully next time, i'm sure there is a sincere girl out there for you.
your story is very educational for our forum members. but, you could be in the same situation in any country, with any girl. even in your home town. she just used you and dumped you as it happens everyday everywhere to some men, women. Also we do not know if your story is true. so let's not call names. put her on scam lists. this forum is not a scam list.
The difference is is that I am not the only one that this girl has deceived. If I am and its a remote instance, then so be it. But alot of these girls are in this game, and alot of people get very hurt because of it. (Keep in mind I do know there are alot of good girls out there as well) If I thought something could be done by going to the authorities on this matter, I would. But in reality nothing will be done by them to stop people like this from scamming men. Its more or less due diligence and putting the word out that a certain person is scamming. It is true that men all over can get scammed by girls ( and vice versa) for much money, but that doesn't make it acceptable or right. And in those situations other people need to know about it so that the chances of this happening again by the same person is more remote. Can it be stopped entirely, no. But at least I am trying to let people know about this person and warn them for the future. Most of these girls slip through the cracks and reoffend because people who are scammed let it slide.
I have contacted the uaprofiler site to see if I could get a phone number or email address from the person who also was scammed and put her bio on this site. For some reason there is no response. I would like to compare notes, but even there it seems like there is a confidentiality rule and no further information is released. I almost need to go onto every forum available to make my case heard ( as I think it is very important...not just because I was scammed....its important for every guy out there to see) and I don't have the time to be doing such things. This forum is very important, but it is only a small piece of the pie of all the forums. How many people know about this forum? I try and google girls I write to to see if anything out of the ordinary comes up. This as I say is not fail safe because most men who do get scammed are licking their wounds too bad or too embarrassed to let it be known this happened to them, so they do little to let other men know. That is the reason why I thought have this thread so it could be googled, as it would redirect back to the uaprofiler site. Eventually in a few days this thread makes its way off the main page, and I think most people will only go back a few pages to read. So even this thread gets lost. But if it gets placed so google picks it up, then other men reading it can make their own judgements. If I myself would not have located this site, I would have thought she might be lying in a hospital somewhere since I haven't heard from her in a couple of months. But now I know better.
Bret...sorry what happened to you. After reading your posts, there is quite a lot of personal responsibility on your part why this happened. This 'girl' has the ability to find men that are lonely or something and prey on that weakness to get what she wants. Most scamming is because men do not think properly. I am sure if you lokked back at your situation, you will see where your bad decisions were made.I have seen situations that guys are used and couldn't see it coming, most of those are when girl is already in his country.
I cannot get over buying a ring BEFORE you went to visit her. And after a whole 2 1/2 weeks you were in love. I have to ask you, would you have done that for a girl in your hometown. Love is not blind, not in your situation, you ignored every warning sign like it was a green light, you were going to make it work whether it was going to or not.
I do hope many guys read your post, it is what not to do. Sorry, I just have to be honest with you. Good luck in the future, remember...burned me once, shame on you..burned me twice shame on me!!!
Bret,
The reason that there are so many scammers out there is because there are too many customers just queuing up for them.
Nothing personal against you but just try it for yourself if you like, post a dummy profile of pretty girl pics on an international site, one of those free ones, write I am a scammer, I only want your money etc.' and you just see how many idiots reply to you.
Post her pics and do the same if you like :)
Until men learn to think with the head that is above their neck then the number of scammers is only set to increase.
F'ing hell, if I were an FSU lady I'd be tempted to be a scammer also, it's such easy pickings :)
My friend in St Petersburg just sent me this story, this morning.
"Yesterday on TV have shown, that in my city have criminal groups of girls which work on the Internet. They win confidence foreign men, using passionate interest of elderly men to a young body, girls tempted with another's photos and promises, and men on fishing tackles were caught and sent money))) One man has sent the girl as a result of 28 000 euros and has arrived to complain in police.. And where such still naive live?)) "
Its just hilarious. Anyone interested in joining me to start up a business. Its not really robbing people, no ones holding a gun to there heads. It more education in the form of natural selection.
$2,700 is 18 months salary (@ $150 per month) over there.
If I could get 18 months of MY salary for writing a few endearing letters - and putting up with some aging, desperate woman showing up to take me out for dinner (I WOULD draw the line somewhere, regarding what I would do, if you know what I mean) for a couple of weeks, I would be sorely tempted.
Paying the equivalent of 18 months of an average salary for a ring certainly seems like a desperate attempt to BUY her love - and such a thing will NEVER work. There are some things that simply cannot be bought, at any price.
I had written to her for a while before I left. True, I was counting on something panning out, but I sure didn't want to keep going back and forth like some men I overheard on my journey over there. Some of those guys were going back 5 or 6 times, and bragging about their escapades.
As far as the price of the ring goes, I would spend the same here for someone as I spent on her, so its not a matter of cheaping out for me. Of course now I wished I would have cheaped out. I liked her before I left and decided how nice a ring I wanted for her, if it panned out between us. Alot of girls here would find a $2700 ring inadequate as well. Heck, one girl I know who owns a jewellry store told me that if her fiance would not buy her a $5000-6000 engagement ring at the very least....he could find someone else. And no, I didn't buy the ring from her even though it wasn't a sales pitch from her! She meant it! Besides, if Inna had said no to marriage, then I simply bring the ring back home. And there was no definite plans to propose marriage before I left,(ie. it wasn't scripted) even though as I said I might have been hoping for something to develop.
I was tired of the dating scene here, but I wasn't going over there with my eyes closed. I was fully aware of the scamming that goes on there, but to be fair it probably is a minority of girls doing it. I don't think I am totally naive in all of this, I think she should get kudos for being a fine actress. If you want to talk about sweet...that was her. Yes I missed some signs that when I look back. There were red flags, but nothing to be worried too much at that point. I did trust her, but then again somewhere along the line you have to have trust in that person or the relationship won't go period. She took me, and believe me I am P.O'd. I am limited to what I can do about it now, except spread the word for other guys out there.
Bret,
You are what is commonly known as a 'One Trip Wonder' and there is no such thing as love at first sight, there can be a strong attraction at first sight but that isn't love, and if you continue to try meet, engage, marry in one or two trips then you're likely to get scammed time and time again.
And should you manage it in one or two trips then you need to understand that she won't love you, not at that stage anyway, thus there is another motive for her saying 'yes' but it won't be for love.
Hey Bret! What a surprise. I just yahood her the other day to see if she was still single, and up this other stuff come up. I think I might know why she did not want you there in June cuz I was there visiting her. Looks like we are blood brothers man. She was driving hard to the hoop for marriage with me, and I might have been
thinking that was ok except she sure was pushing for $7000 agency fees. I told her that I was paying my share with letters and things like the flat which I guess I western unioned her for that. She said all the agencys over there charge that. I was emialing her daily when I got back home and she said she needed me and wanted marriage with me and the agency would not let me marry her if I did not pay up. I said no and after that I could not reach her no longer. We got lucky cuz it could have been worse but $7000 was to rich for me. Did she try and get that much out of you.
Hi all, my personal experience with scams is a very sad one since it did not come out of an attempt of finding a beautiful young Ukrainian bride. Therefore my post might be considered a bit off topic but its teaching definitely is not! I hope all of you can learn from my experience and avoid unnecessary pain and money loss.
My wife and I were in the process of adopting a young girl from a Kherson orphanage that had been been living with us for several months in an hosting program and who considered us her parents. We were asked money from the director of the orphanage in order to "facilitate" the adoption. To make it short the girl never come back to us since she was sold to an older American couple against her will with great pain for her and us.
This is the first scam, the second one is even more subtle. During our journey in Ukraine we met a woman who helped as a translator and she literally begged us to find a job for her in Italy since her life condition were so bad in Ukraine and so on... When we come back to our country we found a nice and well paid job for her. Then she asked us for money to pay for a Visa and we sent to her 700 Euros (almost 1000 US $) by Western Union. After a while she started finding all sort of excuses not to come to Italy and at the end she made herself unavailable. I have to add that she self-defined as a devote Christian!
Well the teaching from our sad experience:
1) Most Ukrainians lie!! It is legacy from the former communist government! They lied in order to protect themselves and it become sort of second nature to them. It will take ages for them to give up such form of mind.
2) The mentality of most Ukrainians is "grab 50 $ today instead of 5000$ tomorrow" In Communist times they were uncertain about their future and therefore they tend to take whatever is available in the present time. Tomorrow who knows!!
3) The third and most important lesson to remember is the following: The Ukrainians will easily spot any need or weakness of yours and leverage mercilessly on that in order to take advantage from you! In our case it was the love for a parentless child or the compassion for a woman who asked us to help her. In other cases it might be a strong need to love/be loved from a young woman.
I do not think that American men are gullible, they simply come from a different culture where lies and misrepresentation are uncommon. Again lying in Ukraine is second nature. This is not to say that all Ukrainians are mendacious but put them in the right situation (i.e. make them sniff money) and they will scam you without remorse.
To end my post if I could give and advice to fellow readers I would say: If you are looking for a bride look West ol' man!!
At least there will be cultural similarities to build on.
my friend i am sorry to hear about the child.
did "most" Ukraine people you met lie to you?
but really it is a gullible man that allows to be taken for a ride.
i can understand your predicament with the child.
but the other women?
there is no come backs for some of lease people, its to easy for them.
political climate.
you play or deal with a semi lawless country, you will always be someones meal ticket.
if you are gullible!
"most" is a bit harsh
this internet stuff looking for a lady, yes possibly most of these ladies or man could be put into your "most" category
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Russian brides > Main Forum > INNA VITVITSKAYA ..................................(SCAM WARNING!!)