We have a friend who recently brought a Ukrainian woman to the US on a Fiancee visa. Neither one of them can tell us if she is going to stay once the visa expires. It doesn't appear to be a romantic relationship, yet. Is any of this common?
A little background... our friend had visited the woman in the Ukraine this summer and met her family. He has been very secretive and getting information is difficult. He'll answer direct questions, but we don't know what kind of questions to ask. The woman is adorable but unfortunately knows very little english. She is currently enrolled in an English class with many hispanics and is finding the learning confusing with Spanish.
I hope she stays. Does anyone have advice on how to approach our friend and his Ukrainian friend?
Thank you for your response. The man is not only a friend but a member of my family. "Nosy"? Hmmmm. It sounds so negative. We are curious because we want this relationship to succeed and if there is something we can do, we'll do it. If they told us to mind our own business, we would happily oblige. Just don't bring her to my house around my child as well as to family functions and expect us to not speak or get to know her. We are so happy for both of them and excited at the prospect of her being a part of our family. I didn't know where else to go to ask my question.
Does everyone feel the same way Land does? Stop being nosy?
i think oz took your piece a bit wrong, for i did myself.
just make her feel involved with your family, don't shy away from this.
to feel welcome will give her such a lift.
a lot of it comes down to how excepting the ladies are in your family i guess
the ol saying, a busy mind is usually a happy mind:)
there isn't really much more you can do i would think.
kiwinorth, I've ordered our own English-Russin dictionary so we can communicate a little more efficiently. Thank you for your advice. We've welcomed her with open arms and will continue to do so.
Yes sorry grasshopper, I thought when you posted you wanted to figure their relationship out. If the administrator will allow this link: http://www.russian-luv.com/russian-culture there are some very good articles on cultural differences. It may help to avoid doing something acceptable in our culture that is not in theirs.
Over there they are very proud of their museums, heritage, and veterans. They like to go for walks in nature and by bodies of water. You do not need to spend a lot of money to impress her just be genuine.
grass...oz's comment was because you were talking about a friend, now it is a family member ..big difference.
nobody knows (no pun) what will happen between the couple, you can only treat her as you would treat any girl that would have been in her position. I think you are turning this into more than it is...just use common sense and you will be okay. good luck
To answer another one of your questions,will she stay?. In the US a fiance visa is good for 6 months, but the catch is if she wants to stay she has to be married in 90 days. How long has she been here?
grasshopper,
In answer to your original question it all depends how long the relationship was for and before the engagement, visa etc.
For how long had he dated her, and I mean actual person to person dating and not cyber or telephone dating, cyber and telephone counts for practically zero.
Yes, this is an all too common scenario, as you say it doesn't appear to be a romantic relationship, and I would suspect, cos I've heard the story so many times before, that he corresponded with her, he occupied a mere number of days with her, he had a brain seizure that having known her only a few days they would live happily ever after, and you know the rest of the story from there.
Having come to live with each other they are only now getting to know each other, will it work out or will it not, well if we were all perfect partners for each other then life would be so easy but life it not easy so unfortunately the odds are stacked against a happy outcome.
Billo, She arrived the week of Thanksgiving. Thanks for your info.
Martin_FFC, I beleive they have been dating for a 1 1/2 - 2 years and he has traveled there twice to see her. The last time they traveled to the beach and he also met her family. May have spent 3 weeks together in all. Your comments are so true with any relationship. You are wise.
Oz, I have done a lot of thinking about your response and I promise not to be nosy. My family member is adult and doesn't need me to guide him (very egotistical of me to think I needed to help). Thanks for the link. Very helpful and informative.
Thanks everyone for your understanding and insight. It is very much appreciated.
Sounds like your friend/relative has achieved what we are all here for: true love, international style. Any way or chance you can talk him into coming on line and giving us some advice? (logistics, not romantic.)
I wouldn't say it is too much to get excited about just yet, before living together they had only occupied some 3 weeks together thus they're still at the 'getting to know you' stage.
I just wonder... Why get a fiance visa if they were not sure about the future? Would it not have been more sensible to have a tourist visa first? At least if they didn't marry within the six months, there would be less visa problems in the future. From what I gather, if you bring someone to your country on a fiance visa and don't marry, it causes all kinds of problems for her if she applies for another visa at a later time. Maybe I'm wrong?
Anyway... I wish them every happiness and I hope everything turns out well. :-))
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