Quote: “I am researching anastasia-international.com because I desire a wife from Ukraine. With all the information on the net about this site being a scam, is it a scam? Can you confirm this and if so, how do I go about getting started in finding that special Ukraine bride?”
Derekb: First things first, I am not aware of “Ukraine Brides”, nor am I aware of any other FSU “Brides” who might be available for your pleasure. Brides are generally so for only a matter of hours, usually on the day they marry their husbands. After that time they are known as wives and prior to that time generally G/F’s or fiancés. Before you back up and call me a smart arse, the point is, forget the Ukrainian or Russian “Bride” thing. No such animal exists.
What you may find if you are fortunate enough is a selection of very nice women at one end and some real trash at the other with everything in between mixed in. “How to” is the eternal question and frankly I don’t think there is any silver bullets although many would like to insist they have the formula. FWIW, I think the most logical course of action if you are bent on finding a wife is to find a lady or perhaps more than one if that is your style to go visit. For a first time visitor, I think it is not a bad idea to have one hand on an all service agent/agency in the event of need for alternatives or fall back position. BTW, I am not a fan of agents, but perhaps they have a support role to play for the guys kicking in for the first time.
As for A-I, I’ve never read anything good, nor met anyone who has found a partner there, but I am sure others may be able to advise you differently. The basic key is to cut any agent out of the loop ASAP. Get to talking to the lady by phone or other direct contact. If the agency or language won’t allow you to do that almost immediately, sing to a new audience because you are simply going to throw good money and effort after bad. Mrs and I have built a relationship from the times when we spoke less than 3 common words and wonderful though it is, I would challenge most to have the patience to see it through, much less have the time together we spent BEFORE ever thinking about marriage. You need to be around the point that you are not going to select a new printer or keyboard. This is a potential life partner you are thinking of. The question you should really ask yourself is “Why do I want a Ukrainian wife”?
Colin: Sorry to load your thread which is one which should be of benefit to many, however I thought the guy’s question was worth an answer.
On Sunday she goes home I havnt booked a return ticket she needs to come back through Kiev the next time and tickets are expensive for the Christmas I have said to her look if you go now it maybe hard to come back before Christmas she said 'if you want me back before Christmas you will find a way' I dont want to go to the airport im not good at goodbyes but there is a direct bus I got a ticket for although it leaves very early no complaints she said she understands. She has no interest or understanding of money I tried to sit down and explain to her the budgeting thing but she had no interest! Someone said earlier they have no concept of budgeting and I didnt believe it. All is good otherwise she has been weak since the hospital and my mother and father have come each day to bring her to the nurse for dressings. And she usually stays with them until midday shopping with my dad or going to my sisters to help babysit the small ones. Excellent house keeper but cant cook to save herself plus extremely long nails. I will probably find some way to get her back before Christmas any other time of the year alone I could live with but not Christmas.
'if you want me back before Christmas you will find a way'
Does this mean your relationship is one-sided? Seems you are the one bending backward...I wonder if your relationship was different before she moved to be with you. I hope if I find a girl from fsu things will go smoother. I do hope your hard work proves fruitful one day
Your patience has been working overtime........
Journey to the airport is over 1hr20 mins plus I have my 7yr old son 2nite as well who Id have to get a minder for. I feel like I have done enough. I paid for her ticket yesterday for the bus and let her buy presents for friends at home etc nothing too much but deceided didnt want her to go back with her hands empty. I ask her how she feels and says she dosnt know but when she gets home will sort out her feelings. She owes money at home for different credits I said when she was here Id help her pay these but since have said when you are at home I dont feel obliged to do this so she said she will try and get a part time job in the mean time to pay these. I got her a bank account and said I would pay into this but as above when shes not here I dont feel obliged either to. Last few days just brought her around site seeing and for nice lunches etc so she would have a good feeling going. And yet yesterday on the way back she says I make promises but never keep them! I said well yes Id have no problem keeping them but then I didnt expect you to wish to leave after 2 weeks in this she meant I had bought a new laptop b4 she arrived and said you can use it so just sell the desktop one at home. But I Said you stay for 2 weeks and then want bring brand new laptop home? I said I will sell it if you arnt back.
Also her 1st week here she was homesick and I booked tickets for both of us to visit in January even though she had told me she also needs to go for 3 weeks in March for exams......
Colin: I’ve changed my view a little from where I was originally on this one. Your lady has a lot of “Head Sorting” to do. She and she alone is responsible for that. She and she alone needs to decide what she wants and if that includes you, all the better however, without being a complete pessimist, I have my doubts if it will.
The laptop thing was a clear attempt to “Guilt Trip” you into provision and it IMO is not exactly an honorable, although quite common trait. Unpaid credit along with this is indicative of someone who is used to getting what they want without meeting the cost / effort / responsibility. This BS about “If you want me here for Christmas, you’ll find a way” is another example of expecting everything to be done without any personal effort. This is a tough one at a tough time of year for you, we always hope for so much more, sometimes we attain that and sometimes not.
No i wouldnt kill myself over a woman ive seen guys who did that before, one accquitance did she had given him a cross on a chain for his birthday gone by and he put it through her letter box before he killed himself.
Okay she was upset for a while now shes married with 2 kids..... so in long term what is acheived he hurts his family and she moves on pointless gesture. Im not being hard at all actually airport
is about only thing I am well I wouldnt let her take laptop either. Its not in my nature im generous probably too much im in work now and rang her and said im gonna miss you dreadfully already I begin to think about it she laughed and thats it.
Thats a shocking story about your accquitance killing themselves. Luckily I dont know anyone who woudl do that.
If the airport is too far its too far.
Your a better man than me Colin, I would have spat the dummy a long time ago.
Colin, I would say,
You are my wife and you are staying here with me. I love you and I will take care of you and provide for you.
If you want to go back to FSU, then you must make those arrangements on your own.
I would talk to her folks and tell them to either help or stay the hell out of it.
I would continue to take the support of your family. You can use all the help you can get. They sound supportive.
You have committed no crime except to love this girl. She is YOUR wife.
I know from experience that when the word "suicide" is tossed around, it is to be taken seriously.
The holiday season can bring these feelings to fruition.
This is serious. Colin, talk to friends and/or a professional. It does not mean you are wrong or weak to do this.
An outside perspective will make things clearer for you.
Keep the lines of communication open with your wife. Question everything she says, not for conflict but for understanding.
Do not stop talking. If you love her, never give up, never give in. If you question the commitment then let her go....
Colin dude, I am worried about you on this.
shes gone now but left alot of things here ,her new trainers ,clothes new hairdryer beauty items and things.
Nobody knows she goes home I got a email from her mother saying whats going on she dosnt talk to me has she got a job etc? She asked me for money to pay her credit 700 dollars I gave her a cheque for this and then last week she said she wanted to go back so I was thinking hmm she goes back now 700 dollars of my cash and maybe gone forever so I cancelled the cheque she told her mother this but never said this to me. Also the mother said send she sent sms,s to friends saying things were not good between us but I believe this is just excuses so she can go back.
As someone here told me she will get alot of problems from friends etc for not trying and I know I did my best. But we parted well last night waited for bus held hands kissed she said she would be back I havnt contacted her since and havnt received any word from her either she was always particular if I went to her to sms when I Arrived but she hasnt of yet.
hey this chat was saved on my computer when she left anyone translate 2 russian girls looked at it and told me bad stuff but maybe in ukranian itd look different thanks.
Colin.
I feel for you mate but it does display that they need to see and experience their destination country and environment before signing on the dotted line.
But, good luck, there seems to be room to manoevre there yet so each (you) to their own judgement.