I would like to offer a scheme to foreigners looking for realistic way to meet and court Ukrainian women.
I mean scheme in the british sense and not the american sense where it has negative connotations.
about me. I have spent over 50g over the last 4 years in trying to meet a nice Ukrainian lady.
My previous methods include: going to marriage agencies in large, medium and small cities, living in small and large cities for months at a time, going on tours and to romance socials.
My best successes, however, came with writing first, talking on phone, and then going to meet that person.
But thats a huge gamble as most you know.
I have come to the following conclusion as the single most best way to meet a sincere ukranian girl.
Move to ukraine AND establish yourself as a businessman in the city where you live.
Ok, its obvious the advantages of living in ukraine. but why the need to establish a business?
well, like i said, i have lived in ukraine as a visitor. when i would meet a girl, she would eventually say, what do you do? what are you doing here? well if you pause and fumble...or you say you are just living here looking for a girl, i think you lose the girls trust. what she will think? that you are playboy? you are desparate? maybe you can't find a girl in your own country. she might not say that to you but she will think it. i've seen the look of disappointment in a girls eye when this happens, it really sucks.
so how do you establish a business in ukraine?
well, legally its not that hard. at one point i was going to establish a software outsource company but it never evolved. I got some advice from lawyer and its not expensive to set up services based company like programming or language services.
the expense comes in rent. both office and home. people not so much. taxes virtually nil.
so here is my plan.
in august, move to kiev. start a business. maybe language school. hire a secratary. advertise. make a go of it for 6 months. the idea, to be legitimate business, but not to make money, to meet women.
well, i could but i don't want to do this alone. i would prefer the company of someone in my situation. perhaps a group of people.
well, what do you think?
anybody interested? I can guarantee that if you are a reasonable, sociable, and responsible guy that you will have the best chance of meeting someone. at any rate, it will be an awesome experience. Being a businessman is the ONLY way to live in ukraine!!!
Gecko...it is good you have ideas but if you have a business in ukraine, money will be in short supply....what will make you stand out to girls? Wouldn't you be similar to any young ukainian guy? Got to bring something to the table........
I NEVER tell a girl I am in her city to look for a girl. To me, it is a put off. I have been asked many times if I am in city for business or pleasure..... I merely state I am visiting friends...which is the truth!!!
What I have found out is the older successful married men in ukrainian men mostly have young girlfriends....another hurdle. I always wondered how hard it would be to live there and have tons of young beautiful girls running around you AND be married!!!!!!!
You should talk with some of the guys here who actually live in ukraine.
beemer, no offense but it seems like your attracted to whores. i'm not judging but im at a different place in my life.
i'm looking for a decent girl who will be the mother of my children and i'm willing to sacrifice looks to get it. decent girls look to a businessman as someone who is successful and provide a good and stable family life. to repeat, i'm NOT looking for playmates.
there are some advantages to having a english language school if it is taught by native speakers. of course that is preferrable to local knowledge. when i lived in kherson some people were trying to get me to speak at their college.
also not everybody has friends in ukraine. its not that easy to find 'real' friends in this country in my experience. even living there.
Peteb, you live in Ukraine? How do you manage? can you give some advice.
Gecko, I fail to understand why go all that way to change completely life, setup a business in Ukraine knowing that is most likely would end up in loosing money, stay away from friends and relation from your own country , to find a decent girl in Ukraine?? Why Ukraine? The women in your country don’t like a successful businessman? Been here almost one year here I can tell you that sort of idea will bring you lot’s of “playmates”….. That in it self is not bad.. With the business you have to survive the corruption, they will suck every single drop of blood out of you, that unless you set up a quite business like an internet one, but no one will be aware, and that defy the purpose.. I see few foreigners come here in Ukraine lately, but the “successful” ones are the one that have one or two lovers, they only stay 3 days, rent a presidential room in the centre of Kiev for 3 night….. in regard a wife and a partner you’ll eventually meet her anywhere, maybe even at the airport while travelling…
Gecko...maybe you did not understand...I am NOT going to ukraine to have a business or be a businessman...I merely was answering to bassuk about businessman having higher social status.
I am NOT into whores, never had anything like that in ukraine, russia or moldova. I am searching for same as you( I think)....attractive(to me),honest, serious and sincere girl. Seems when you do find one, no chemistry or something is missing. Thats what makes it even more difficult!
In re business, my friends in odessa had to cater to police and officials for months to get appopriate paperwork done for restaurant. Even now, they still come in occasionally for freebe drinks and food.
What Beemers saya is kinda of ture, I have been in moldova a year but off and on. Ok today I told one girl i'll meet you in a few hours as i want to give you a present. I took her to a mall and said ok whatever you want, she only wanted perfume but I made her pick out some clothes. She needed some luck without anything expected in return, it was just christmas after all (well I had got to know her well lately). Of course she isn't my wife but a girl i meet here so you could say girlfriend. I won't say she is an angel and if my wife saw her she won't let me out of the house as I guess the girl is hot. Telling the wife she is a friend isn't going to work. I only meet the wifes ugly friends. Not saying im a sucessfull bussiness man nor am I rooting this girl but its hard to live here (moldova/ukraine) without your eye drifting that is for sure.
And of course the 'girlfriend' you can trust to say anything, they are experts at it. If you want an excuse don't make up one yourself ask the girlfriend she will know of an better excuse.
My god, this guy is nuts ... come to Ukraine ... set up a business!!! ANd tell her that you are here for visiting friends/business purposes. Dude just tell the truth why you are there!!! If I am going to go to Ukraine for a girl's proposel I will definitely tell her I am here for her only her!!! Then he says he spent over 50g's what is g(grams) or (grand), & still no luck??? I spent $250 only, & I have good response, the girls want me to visit them for sure but I am still considering at the moment. Maybe you should write decent letters to begin with. You don't go over to a foriegn country to set up a business & then tell someone that you are interested in them, what a lame excuse!!!
Why Ukrainian to begin with? There are nice girls everywhere so why not look around your own town where you are well established? Ukrainians make good companions for a short while, that's what they expect, so don't waste your time trying to find a mother for your children. In short, best place to find prostitutes!!!
I would guess that most of the people who are ridiculing Gecko have never done what he suggested. Some critics, who call him "nuts" and "lame", have never even been to Ukraine once!
I am doing essentially what Gecko suggested, and I can say that for me, it is great. It is completely different to live in a foreign country and try to make a business, than to show up for one week to meet some girl on A-web that wrote you a few letters. You actually become part of the community. People react completely differently to me now, than they did when I was here as a tourist.
I have met a completely different class of people than I would have if I was using an agency, writing letters, and using translators. I meet everyday people--girls who are not thinking about going to the most expensive restaurant in town with some sucker foreigner.
So, I encourage Gecko to follow through with his plan. For me, it is infinitely better than writing letters and making a bunch of short trips.
Well, i knew i wasn't crazy but its nice to get some validation from someone who is living the life.
I guess I will go it alone. It seems like setting up a partnership is more trouble than its worth.
I'm surprised so much negativity, though. Guys, as you know its hard enough. We should be supporting each other, right?
as for the people who suggest i do this in my home town, i even don't know what to say to that. I just assumed EVERYBODY on this forum had the desire of 'meeting a ukraine girl' in common. So why are you putting me down?
anyway, i have always had more luck being as part of a group. i mean its good to be speaking english in public and thats hard to do when your alone. when you speak english, the girls that are interested in foreigners have an excuse to talk with you. I can say from experience the only dates i got from living in ukraine for a while was while a girl overheard me speaking english, and i was not even looking at the time.
Hey gecko....maybe you and VNV should get together, you both seem to have the same thought process going on. He can tell you about any struggles.
It is a big risk but maybe there will be success in the end. To me, if you have a successful business at home it would be hard to leave it. If you are just okay at home the decision would be easier. I don't know many that are doing really well( good income) living there. Have a talk with Bill54 in nikolaev, he has a language school there, see how he is doing. I do know one thing, government officials and police will know if you are making good money, I've seen it first hand, actually with hand..out.
I still think there is a lot more thinking and investigating to go on. I had the idea of doing some kind of business/investments in ukraine but only with a girl from there.....hopefully the 'wife'. Ideally, being able to live in ukraine and usa.
Of course working there is going to be a great help meeting girls, aside from the fact that you will be there longer/long term so have more opportunities. But also girls do are more interested in 'business men' who are here and not tourists who they know will be gone next week. Also you will eventually know the city and do things yourself instead of being babysat by a girl. It also means you don't need to rush things. If you do it I definitely say go for it. I am here because I can work remotely and travel with work 50 % of the time, so I am lucky I guess as I don't have to deal with the police or government etc. But If I had to I know the right people now.
I know a girl here who is going to spend a week with an old guy from Russia who is rich. She knows she can spend a week with him and go back home and have him send money so she can go to school. She tells me she doesn't want to do it as she hates him touching her but may do it and go to school and then run away from him. I wouldn't call her a scammer as the guy is the one making the offer. For her she doesn't have many opportunities so she’s not really cared about leading the guy on (and I sure she isn't the guy is just blind), but she thinks she may as well try it since the guy talks to her nicely. But he’s too old she says (he’s 55 she’s 23). I can't help but think she’s more typical of girls guys complain about here.
However I have met one girl who loved a guy in his 50's and she was 23 herself. She really liked how he was so mature. He was married and she was just his bit on the side but she did love him...although she would cheat on him.
Speaking about living here one time my girlfriend at the time had one guy ask if he could dance with her. She asked me if it was ok. I said no but she ignored me. So I got up and asked one girl to dance. She was really interested in me as I spoke only English but she only knew a few words. 1 minute later the girlfriend is dragging me off. Next time I went to go to the bathroom the girl sneaked in. I turned around after closing the door and she was there! I had to make her leave fearing the girlfriend would catch me. Later the waiter slips me a piece of paper with a phone number, I look up and the girl is smiling at me. I told my girlfriend (now wife) this after 2 years and she yelled at me for letting her in the bathroom as if it happened yesterday. Thing is this would never happen back home at least once in a blue moon.
My business is actually somewhat successful. I'm not going to become an oligarch, but I'm making a little money and it is really cool to know that I am making money in Ukraine, instead of just pissing money away on dates and nightclubs.
I mentioned before that I am meeting completely different women. The other big advantage, as Ben notes above, is that you can have a relationship at a more normal pace. There is no pressure to find the right girl in the two weeks that you are visiting, or to start discussing fiance visas too early in the relationship.
Now, if I meet a girl it's the same as dating at home. If she's busy or sick, and can't see me for five days, it's not a big disaster as it would be if I were visiting for only 10 days. I don't feel any pressure to get to know her really quickly, or to juggle meetings with different girls. Also, it's much easier for the girls to trust me now; they see that I am not a "sex tourist," and that I am responsible enough to be doing business, and living a normal life.
The hard part is getting a business going, and that's where the real difficulty in Gecko's plan is. But if you have the time and money to give it a try, it will be a great experience.
The alternative is working as an expatriate as I am. I work 9 weeks have 4 weeks off and spend time off in Ukraine and now we are married travelling the world. I get to have my cake and eat it. It made it much easier to meet and marry my now wife.
vnv: any tips on setting up a business here? i'm working online working on software contracts and would love to be more 'legit' and pay tax here. even setup a company. i'm sure i'll need to pay taxes to live here permanently anyway. which is another thing i could use some advice on! i hear all the forms are in ukrainian, so that's no problem with olya. but it still all seems a bit scary! /pete
just kidding. actually i am a it contractor and do exactly as you do. But its more like: work 6 months get one month off.
its not enough time for me. so i am going to take a chance in the summer and just live there.
from what i gather, ukraine doesn't really know how to tax a service base business like offshore programming and english lessons. they rely on you for your honest reporting. I think its something like 10% or $40/month whichever is more. but this was for kherson, so kiev could be different.
like i said before, the biggest expense is the rent. i'm not too worried about mafia. i think that is a little overblown