Hello!
I am new here, but have been reading in the forum for a few weeks. I have meet a girl that i have been communicating with since november. At the beginning we liked each other very much, we had the same views of things..it almost seemed to good to be true. After some 2 month she wanted me to come and visit her in ukraine, she lives in a smaller city 2 hours from kiev. And i said that i would come and see her in the summer, on my vacation. We wrote letters to eachother everyday, until she seemed to loose her interst in me, and i asked her about it, and she said that she lost her passion to me, this was maybe in march. Then we started to write to each other again, and she got msn, and we talk atleast 5 days a week. But the things that bother me is, she is in her last year at university, and she is very smart, but not once she asked me anything about my country? I mean, if she wants to marry a man from another country (I am from Sweden)sure she would like to know things about her possible new country right! I know a few things about ukraine ofcourse since iam interested in their ladies...She have internet at home, so it would be no problem for her to find out things about sweden, or ask me about it. She basically nows nothing about swe. The other thing thats bother me is when we chat on msn, she will every night want to talk about sex, and how she will do certain things...is she trying to say these things just to please me? Because she thinks that men only want sex! I get the feeling that she is just saying things that she thinks i want to hear...but is she really interested in me? is this normal for a good ukrainian girl to talk so much about sex? And she hardly ever ask me about things, like my job. At the beginning of our communication i told her little what i did, but after several month we talked more about it, and i explained more in detail what i did. I try to ask her many questions about her and about ukraine, but she asks me very little or nothing. Maybe she just likes having a western boyfriend, or want to move from ukraine with anybody...
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SL, SM generalizes very much. What is your age and what is your UW's age? That makes a difference. If you are both young, college aged, the SM's comments are not appropriate. You young folks talk about sex all the time; that is understandable.
The real question is what were you both talking about? Were you both talking about a serious relationship leading to marriage and creating a happy family and being together forever?
If so, then it is understandable to me why she lost "interest" after two months of heavy correspondence when you wouldn't come to her and wanted to wait until the summer.
If she was interested in starting a relationship and happy family right away, and assume she is communicating with other men as well, then why would she wait for you for the summer when another man might want to further the relationship right now.
I agree that she being not interested in you and your job is a red flag.
I would speak very frankly with her now. Tell her exactly what you said to this forum. Tell her you are most concerned.
Seriously - if you are her age, then probably nothing wrong with your communications thus far - BUT - if you are 10+ years older, then its sounds a little odd to me.
Thanks for your answers. I am 34 and she is 23, so i am little older then she is...And we have talked little about serious relationship, and she told me she dont want to have kids right away, but in like 2-3 years. And the sex talk is not very strange i think, since she is young and want a man very much...but the other day we where talking, i tried to explain about a rollercoaster, i used the word loop, because i didnt remember what its called, and she replied: yes i had sex in a rollercoaster!!! And i just what! i told her that it was very inappropriate to tell me these things...
but wouldnt she be very interested in knowing more about my city, coountry and how we should proceed if we do find chemistry in real meeting? I just feel she dont really care about these things. I feel her main goal is just try to please me, and she often ask me what i like in a womans body, and she also started to go to the gym...
When she first wanted me to come, she said she could help me with renting an apartment from a friend...she knew prices of the apartment, and also she knew hotelprices very well...And i asked about it later, and she told me her friend lived in an apartment, which was located next to the friends parents apartment, but she had meet a man from Norway and moved there, so the apartment was up for rent...is this common that a young girl have her own apartment? the girl i am communicating lives with her parents in a one bedrom apartment, so it just made me think about it...
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