I am new to this and yes, I did find a lady who appears sincere and yes, sends me personal replies that I can tell aren't form letters. Is she for real? I will see. At least I am willing to take a chance without investing too much. People I know think I am either desperate or dumb for doing this. OK. Maybe so. But I do not find anything wrong with American women. I just can't find the right one. The lady I saw is not one of them "too good to be trues" either. She is a person with hopes and dreams and flaws like myself. And what's wrong with her wanting a better life? That is why my ancestors came here from Europe decades ago. My grandparents had an arranged marriage. It lasted more than 60 years until one partner's death at age 81. I am not looking for a housekeeper or sex slave as that article claims. I do not want to control this woman or make her submissive. Well, according to this link, none of us men who consider a Russian bride are any good and have no redeeming characteristics.
Wow, they know more about me than I know about myself. All I want to do is to not limit my search for a partner down to whomever I happen to run across in everyday life without seeing other choices I may have. I am 41 years old and quite fit and youthful. I want to have my own children. How many women of my age can be able to do that? None that I met. I have had no problem with finding dating or love interests, but finding the right one. And yes, a woman of younger years is better suited to my plans for the rest of my life.
I have tried numerous online dating services in the states. Women under age 25 or so do not (at least typically) show any interest in a man over age 40. So what I am to do? That is why I will at least try this without getting too crazy about it.
And if you believe the source of that article above, only between 10 and 20 percent of these Russian mail-order marriages last two years. If that information is correct, those odds are not good. Please read that article and see what you think.
JG i am sure that there is only a low percentage of these type of marriages that succeed, For one the russian mafia deliberately get women to marry over here and then threaten or in some cases have previously arranged for them to return so that they can use different things such as citizenship for a variety of different reasons.
On top of this you have language and cultural differences to allow for, which obviously won't be on some occasions. I like you have almost identical reasons for seeking my woman this way. Hopefully i will not lack when it comes to the crunch on these things. Yes , people think similar things about myself, also i have a lack of self confidence with women, but i know that all i seek is to love and be loved, and it has gone passed me as to what other people say now.
People to me are very often shallow, and therefore try making fun of those who don't match up exactly to their ideals. They take facts and distort them just for something to do.I believe the author of the article is one of those, let him write, in the end we'll all be accountable if you believe. Hopefully my account will be on the plus side.
I got very upset while reading that thing. The author is proclaiming men who do this as fat, lazy, disgusting, and unable to have arelationship with a normal person. I am not fat, not lazy, and I do very well in relationships, thank you. The author also portrays Russian women as the scum of the earth, just desperate to get out of the slum. Maybe that could be true in some cases, but why gemeralize? That author is trying to ban these marraiges, or make them impossible to get. I do not want to hear statistics or percentages. That has nothing to do with me. I am a good man, come from a good family, and looking fo ra good wife. I am not looking for a servant, a slave, or someone to stay in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant. I am looking for an equal, someone to share a life with. Someone who I can see the pride in her face when she gets a good job. See the happiness when we go together to buy a house to raise our children in. See the joy when we have a family of our own. I am not desperate, nor do i think I am ugly. I think the woman I choose will be a good woman, someone who will stand next to me for life. I hate people who write these articles, they have no clue.
After reading the posted link continue reading her comments by clicking the additional links("The Black Widow" and several after that. You will find that she is a very sarcastic and bitter woman on nearly every subject, not just this one. We once had a balance in society. Men had specific roles and so did women and it was an arrangement that had developed over thousands of years. Somewhere on the way to ensuring equality under the law, the social rules were changed too. And while women retain dominion over all that was once considered feminine, thay also want the option of playing the masculine role whenever it suits them. The net result is that traditional men can't find traditional women anymore. While they may exist in our culture the numbers are too small. When faced with such a loss of equilibrium it makes perfect sense to look outside the confines of our local culture to satisfy the need. After all, we live in a world-society now, especially after the fall of the iron curtain. American women thought that they held American men over a barrel and could demand whatever they wanted. They had it good. Too good. And now they decry the competition.
You might see a parallel here to a situation that labor unions find themselves in. Traditionally there was always some relationship between labor costs and value added to products. But somewhere along the way to protecting workers rights, ridiculously fat contracts were forged in some industries where employers were obligated to pay $30 and $40 per hour for unskilled labor. When reasonable employers could not find workers willing to work for a reasonable wage in competitive industries, they looked overseas too. After all, we live in a world economy too.
American labor unions thought that they had American companies over a barrel. They had it good. Too good. And now they decry the competition.
The author of the post mentioned above asks for email responses. Here is a copy of the response I wrote to her.
I liked your typical Russian Personals Ad:
Let me show you a similar one for an American Woman.
Name: Sally S.
Height 5' 3"
Weight: "Average" (Okay 187 pounds, but I've had children so to me that's average.)
Occupation: Part time job at Food Saver (so don't expect me to do any work at home!) Intend to quit so that I can concentrate on my soap operas. Need husband's income to put my ungrateful children through college.
Education: High School (No more needed - I know everything. Just ask me.)
Hobbies: Working out (Opening refridgerator door, chewing food.)
Personality: I'm set in my ways and expect things to be to my satisfaction. Will complain about everything you do and say - because to me it is "helpful criticism". Snide and cynical. Whiny and obnoxious. Sexually unresponsive (I'm through with that at this point in my life. I just want a good night sleep.) No longer have PMS once per month (all through month) because I'm starting menopause.
Desired traits in partner: Looking for athletic guy in good shape (after all one of us should be in good shape). Looking for man to take care of me in my twilight years and listen to my constant complaining. Looking for man who thinks a tired old nag is the best he can do.
Marriage has always been a trade-off. Years ago doweries were offered to a man to take a woman. The association is dealt with through means of a "contract". It has always been an exchange of what one person can offer to the other. We look for desirable traits - whether that be income, sense of humor, ability to be supportive etc.
Do you think that all young women looking for doctors and lawyers desire them for their personality? Do you think that the "love" two people go through doesn't have stages? The love that sustains a marriage isn't the kind that attracts in western dating. That fades in the best of situations. The love that counts is the kind that grows over time as two people get to know each other.
It is not only possible to find a much younger and more attractive woman from the former Soviet Union but she is quite likely to be more intelligent, more educated and much more interesting and captivating that an older American woman would be.
A young attractive woman in our culture has all the social power given to her immediately. A man of a similar age takes years to build up his earning power and net worth. At some later age - his social power has grown while hers (again, granted just by being attractive) has diminished.
Like inefficient industry hopes for national policies or protectionism - unattractive and aging women resent foreign competition.
We live in a big wide open world, with many choices. And wise successful older men don't have to settle for old bitter women with baggage - just because they're there.
(And Russian women don't have to settle for poverty. Allowing them to use the resources at their disposal to change their situation is only right and fair.)
Chip: I wrote the ad. It is aritten in the same style as the Personals Ad for a Russian woman that was in the right-hand column of the website posting that this thread is all about (see the first entry). It is a compilation of actual personal ads I've seen and commentary on the actual women available to us in America.
what you must do ? or forget about this idea, or looking for.
and, at any way , don't lose a time with thinking * can I find so young girl , or cannot ?*. if you really will want, you will can.
and age different.. it depend, will you love each other or not.
only don't jump at abyss with the close eyes, when only you will see pretty girl's face ;)
Listen guys, don't be offended by the rants of an arch feminist. Only they see relationships in terms she portrays. In essence, she is saying that American men who do not have the necessary skills (or physical attributes) to get into a meaningful relationship with American women (or to get laid locally), opt for 'desperate' and poverty stricken women overseas who are willing to do anything to get out of their hell holes -- including putting up with losers here until they are emancipated. This is very similar to what guys say about these feminists -- that only ugly, obnoxious, and who don't shave their arm-pits and other body hair are feminists! Both arguments are inaccurate are made solely to get each others goat. The stats she sights are maybe valid. However, they are not much different from similar stats in the US where our divorce rate is close to 58% and women commiting adultery is over 50% (incidently, more than the guys!). I have lived in Russia for six years as a foreign student and believe that I understand Russians a little better than most. I do not think that Russian girls are what this chick portrays them to be. They run the gamut like anywhere. But in my experience, they are usually deeper than an average American female. They are usually better read, appreciate the classics, and are less materialistic. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. But I find them (Russians) more attractive and less high strung than their American counterparts. I was married to an American woman for over 15 years and I should know. Further, to debunk the feminist myth that only the scum of American masculanity chase these whoring hordes overseas, let me tell you this: If 'chasing' leads to a glimmer of genuine happiness in life, then I am that 'scum'. In personal life I am as successful as any American dream. Financially secure, at the top of my profession, well respected, and never at a disadvantage with local women. Yet, I seek my life partner in Russia or Belorussia. For I am yet to see any woman here exhibit the traits that I believe make a cozy nest conducive to growing old together happily. The local crowd is (in my opinion) all jumbled up between their interpretation of 'modernity', and knee-jerk militancy that is juvenile and laughable. Hence, take it from this mid-forties, much traveled, and experienced guy -- do not take the bait. Let these "hairy" chicks stew in their own juices. Focus on your own goals and find the dream-girl you are looking for overseas. Of course, always keep your options open. You never know when you will run into an exception in the US who will meet the same criteria you are seeking elsewhere. Good Luck!