Right, now this is a minefield of "what if"s, "maybe"s and subjective judgement calls. I've give you my take on what happened, and you can make your mind up. No doubt the hopeless romantics will see things one way and the gnarled and bitter scam hunters (and you know who you are:)) will see it another.
Long story short, my date never showed. Not at the airport, not at the apartment, and no subsequent date was arranged. Now, for a little perspective, I did write her NOT to meet me at the airport, as I wanted to travel myself, get settled in the apartment, freshen up and meet her NOT looking like I'd been travelling for 12 hours. Anyway, once I wrote the agency that I didn't need picking up, she wrote back, quite insistent that either she or (in an emergency) her sister would be there with the agency. For the sake of keeping things smooth, I went with it (as the cost wasn't much different). Some of those who I've been PMing will know that I was already sceptical. Before I left, I could see more green and red flags than a slalom course.
At the airport, neither her or her sister was there. I asked the agent, who said "she said you wrote her not to come." Lets call that a 'purple' flag, as misunderstandings are possible.
The agency (Sumy Love, also known as Chance or Shans agency) is run by Natalia, who manages things pretty much herself. It's a small agency, and this woman seems to work 25 hours a day. It was her and a taxi driver, and 5 hours in the back for me, listening to my ipod and watching The Boosh on my laptop. They treated me to Borsch (sic?) in this lonely, tiny log cabin cafe which seemed a million miles from any civilisation.
The apartment was very nice - well decorated and not a bad location (just by the Starry Mill/Old Mill restaurant). No internet or cable, but it was warm and modern looking.
The agency seemed genuinely unimpressed with my 'lady' (and I'm now using that term loosely), and said if she didn't meet me, they'd remove her profile from fiance.com (time will tell). We went round to her place of work (which I wasn't too keen on doing) but she'd already gone home - something to do with her son being sent home from school sick. This is where I could be seen to take some of the blame: The agency wanted to keep calling her and taking me round to her place of work (she hadn't booked any days off) to get a meeting, and arrange a date. I told them that 1: If her kids sick, she should look after him if she needs to, and 2: If SHE wants to see ME, we shouldn't have to chase her - as I told the agency, I'm really not that desperate. In the end, she made no effort to see me, so I guess that's the end of that!
Anyway, the agency manager brought their catalogues round to the apartment and I leafed slowly through, 'shopping' for new dates, which was a little weird with her sat right there watching me. To be honest, I wasn't planning to look for a 'wife' with anyone, but I was up for meeting some people (better than being on my jack jones for a week).
I had meetings with about ten girls (hard to remember exactly), one twice, one three times (a trip to kharkov for the 3rd) and I actually had a good time. I'll pass on my thoughts on the girls in the next post, but to close on my thoughts on the agency, after any of the dates where me and the lady in question looked like we were getting on, the agency manager would be very encouraging of us swapping phone numbers so that I could be in direct contact with the girls. It seems that, with this agency, I wouldn't have to 'try' to get a girl away from them: After a meeting, they're happy for a couple to go off on their own and bypass the agency. Also, when I was in correspondence with the original 'mrs no-show', I was planning to post some stuff to her, so I asked her address. She referred me to the agency who gave me her address straight away, no payment required.
I still don't know if that woman had any intention of meeting me or not, or for what reason she chose not to (after dozens of 'I can't wait to meet you' letters), but I didn't get the feeling that the agency was complicit, even though I'll admit the possibility of a 'bat & switch'. It just didn't fit with the other behaviours and attitudes I witnessed from them.
Make up your own mind, but IF I go back to Sumy, I'd probably deal with them again.
Your visit to Sumy sounds as though it was not the greatest of experiences, however, my only question is how much homework did you do around the agency you used and the site with which you deal with. I just returned from a visit to Sumy, through a different US and Ukrainian agency and had the time of my life. I intend to return once again in the spring. As I was reading your post, where you wrote that your apartment was near the Old Mill, which was a fantastic dining experience, and in a nice area, brought back good memories. Sorry, I do not want to sound as though I am bragging, but you were in the same city, and know what I am talking about. The trip from Kiev to Sumy is a long one, especially since it is only 180km, but the road leaves much to be desired indeed. I hope that your experience to Sumy does not sour your impression of this city, as I think that if you were to use a different agency and US site affiliated with that agency you will be much happier. The agency that I used made sure that I had everything I needed, and made sure that I was always safe and happy, with constant support and encouragement, as well as my own personal interpretor.
Good open communication between you, your lady, and definately the agency is the key here. Do your homework on the agency, and then make the trip. It is well worth it.
What U.S./Ukrainian agency operates in Sumy? If you're gonna brag about how you did your homework and the other guy didn't you should at least tell us what this great agency of yours is.
As I said above though (or hope I said) I had no problems with the agency - just one girl. They accompanied me every day and looked after me quite well. I'd found out plenty about them from other forum members who have used them, and by asking the support staff on this site (which I recommend everyone does before going to meet a lady) before traveling.
I'm guessing the other agency you're referring to is Polena (aka aprettyukrainianwife) which is part of the Angelika network? I had their details (and the profiles of a few girls I could be interested in) handy in case I became unimpressed with Sumy Love, but I never needed them.
You're certainly right, that homework is essential, however I would caution you not to rely on agencies because they have a US affiliate - this would be an adequate description of A-web.
Old Mill - wow that's some weird salmon they serve! Still, the 'traditional Ukraine' decor was nice to see.