One thing I can say about the agency, is they want to get their girls married. One thing I can say about the girls - they ain't arguing! These are some SERIOUSLY marriage minded women.
One (who I actually didn't want to meet, but who the agency seemed to fix me up with anyway), was asking so many highly specific questions, the interpreter was at one point laughing with embarrassment at having to translate them. When I later met with the agency manager, she said the interpreter had called her to say that this lady was nuts! In the end, the lady discerned from my answers that I "wasn't ready to get married" which I agreed with the interpreter actually meant "you're not ready to marry me by the end of the day" which isn't far off what she was after.
With others, I had to do some ice breaking to calm them down as they were often visibly nervous. One was actually shaking. I asked if she was cold, she said 'no', and after a little conversation it was clear that she was worried about making a good impression.
I found them all to be intelligent and VERY hard working, and totally lacking in serious attention from men who aren't - shall we use an americanism - 'jerks'. In fact, many haven't had much attention at all. In fact one hadn't had a single letter, and this girl is no minger - she's gorgeous and has had hardly any attention at all. Seriously, the mind boggles.
When I asked why they were single, and why they were looking abroad, the answers were usually "I was stupid and married too young", "Ukraine men only want much younger girls" (which seems to be a self-exacerbating problem, although I'll expand on that later) or "Ukraine men don't want a wife who already has kids." There wasn't much local-man-bashing, and while there was a little explanation of drunkenness and depression among their menfolk, it was played down, and I was assured that there WERE good men there, but it seemed that competition for the good ones was fierce, and 30yo-with-child didn't put anyone at the front of the queue.
However, while I was on a date, the 38 year old interpreter did get hit on by an older local drunk man, which was hilarious. Seriously, me & the date thought it was great, and the interpreter was visibly embarrassed, which tickled my feather no end :D
Now for a little bubble-bursting. You may find my experience to be different to yours, you may have a different opinion, and I'm not saying that this is the de facto position of Ukraine ladies, but when I asked about men who had visited the ladies before, and why they hadn't liked them, the answer was unanimous - "too old".
I'm 34, and I told the agency I only wanted to look at women over 26, that I would date older than me, and that I didn't mind kids. On the whole, they kept to the brief, although they did set up a meeting with a 21 year old. I had no interest romantically, but I thought I may as well share a little company over a meal. The agency told me she was desperate to leave Ukraine, and wasn't too bothered who with. I really should tell them not to say things like that - a lesser gentleman could really take advantage of such a position, especially as she was a pretty young thing. Anyway, she'd had previous offers from two men who had come to see her, I believe the youngest was 38. She'd turned him down, and he was LOADED! I certainly don't know many guys who own a helicopter (assuming he was telling the truth). So, if little miss 'desperate to leave the country and marry a rich westerner' doesn't want a guy 17 years older, then I guess this sets the bar in a way.
This was in no way an isolated case. Asking about 'how this whole agency thing is going for you' was one of those standard questions I had for conversation building, the answer from those who had been visited was always the same. The guy was too old, and often replied to her stating that with 'give me a chance', which the girls apparently did - unsuccessfully!...
Regarding the issue of perceived 'scams', I did get a little insight. It seems the USA is not a good place for a girl to move to successfully, not that I have anything against the place. Talking to the agency about success rates, it seemed that in most cases, where the girl had travelled to the blokes country, it would be a success if the life promised was actually the one delivered. I was told of one case where the guy still lived with his mum, had no real assets, and life was nothing like that which had been promised. Perhaps not surprisingly, the girl returned home. The thing is, in most cases, the girl can visit in the early stages of the relationship and SEE the life she'd be moving to. It seems that the US visa system forcing the girl to be a fiance before moving out, causes any problems to become apparent very late in the game. I can see how many guys would shriek 'scam' after spending all that money to get a 'wife' in his country, only for her to leave for what had (in many cases I was told about) been legitimate reasons. I'm not saying they're all angels and do everything right (good grief do I now know THAT's not true) but it did show me yet another perspective on what was always going to be a very complicated affair.
Oh, on the 'jerk' term, one of the girls told me that a way older bloke had visited her and told her he was her 'last chance'. Wow, what a charmer! :) I still hold to my position after all this that if you actually go out there, and be a genuinely nice guy, you can really have your pick of the (age appropriate) girls, as being nice and making the effort to travel puts you head and shoulders above all the other letters they receive, many from pond life.
My only regret is that I can only pursue something serious with one of them. There were many I'd seriously consider, and now I just have to decide which truly pleasant women (all of whom deserving a happy and fulfilled married life) I have to let down.
Better to have too many options than not enough, but this is NOT a pleasant choice. Post 4 will explain a little more on this one...
Hi Muzzy,
Thank you for that insite on Sumy. I am looking at a couple of girls there. Do you know of a Alla Batoya Or Julia Lybruiz. Keep them coming
What is your opinion of someone of 60 years of age really pickiong a younger girl. Most do say age is not important but is it!!
I guess the answer to your second question depends on how young is young. I'd say someone 60 could probably look at someone early to mid 40's? I wouldn't say it's a dead cert, as there are no absolutes in this, but my experience was that the 'age doesn't matter' young ones could also say 'monogamy doesn't matter' (albeit under their breath). Women there seem to have only slightly more liberal thoughts on age than western women, so those who say they don't care about such things are often saying so for a reason, and I'd guess not a good one.
The possible exception would be those who are acting out of desperation. It was really heartbreaking to see some women who really had no life - 12 hours per day, 6 days per week in work, then looking after a kid at home, and they seem to know that both their age (even 28+) and the fact they have kids makes them practically no-go zones for local men, so their opinion is that nothing will ever change. Occasionally, as an ice breaker, I'd ask what they like to do with their free time. The standard answer was "what's free time?" I'd explain what I mean and they'd reply by describing their lives - for which I have no envy. These are the girls who I think would accept a significantly older man, but I can't say it would be more than an act of desperation - which I don't see leading to a long and happy marriage.
The agency I was with had an entire folder of 35+ ladies, and I got the impression they had more. Many of these women have never been visited, and you'll be a veritable celebrity, with nervous ladies eager to make a good impression - incidentally, two of the best lookers I met were 36 & 37 years old. Seriously, age does nothing to dim the beauty of some of these women.
I think anyone who can ignore fiance.com's 19 year old bikini models and concentrate on 35/40+, will get a lot less heartbreak, less scamming, and be like a kid in a candy store with well natured, genuinely marriage minded stunners.
This is correct. The agencies say otherwise just to lure in the unsuspecting. Sure there may be some desperate individuals (in any country) but the FSU is not the waste land some articles seem to portray.
What is your opinion of someone of 60 years of age really pickiong a younger girl.
IMHO, more than 15 years is a joke or very very rare, unless you have tons of money to flash around, then a young hottie may latch on for a nice ride.
Go for the older young hotties; there are plenty if you look well and if you meet their qualifications.
"What is your opinion of someone of 60 years of age really pickiong a younger girl."
What are you saying, Baron? A 59 year old is a younger woman.
I don't have data on this, so I am just discussing. Why is it just money that that will attract a woman younger? How about appearance? How about an older man that looks and acts younger?
Actually, that's the reason the agency gave for wanting to fix me up with 20 year olds - apparently I look younger than my 34 years (I get that a lot - I think it's because I work with kids: immaturity rubs off onto me :P)
I refused as I didn't think it would be a realistic match, but that's just me. My 'limit' is 26 years, so I am up for dating younger girls, just not 'too' young, which I guess is a judgement call for us all to make individually.
Julian, if you got something else to say, don't beat around the bush.
I agree with Baron that a 15 year difference or more is rare, but not very, very rare. If you look at women's profile's, though you will rarely see anyone not including ages 45 or 50. That includes women in their 20's. Do these women have a clue, or do they intend to be serious with their "real" age preference and scam the rest?
Said it once before RB. May I ask you a question now? How did you come up with the monker 'Raging Bull' ? Look up Raging Bull on the net and see what it is about. I am thinking this is how you see yourself.
ooooopppppsss -- beemer will slay me now -- I meant 'moniker' not monker.. just proves we are human and sometimes assholes. I cannot deny my times of being an asshole... makes it fun
Now, now Julian.....there is a difference between a spelling mistake and just plain ole not knowing how to put together more than 2 words without murdering the english language. When it came to school, some posters here decided it wasn't needed.
I don't believe there is a certain age difference between guy and girl, baron mentioned his is 15 years max....I am just glad my name is not baron, I do prefer late 20's to early 30's, if it doesn't workout, my bad, my problem. You will never hear me say here this girl or that girl is a scammer.
To try to answer your question, RB, a women wants to get as many letters from as many men as possible, she may strike it and find a very well off guy that is much older, it all depends on what she is looking for....looks vs security. By the way, my friend in Milan told me that many of foreign women that come to Torino for jobs have many different types of 'work', to put it mildly.
I said it once before. I named myself ragingbull when I was a stock investor. My investment almost quadripled. Of course, I lost moost of it. I then named some of my handles ragingbull. I am also a Taurus. Bulls are slapped around and do not react for a long time. Then suddenly, they've had enough.
I must have misunderstood why she is there, Beemer. She is there with two other Ukrainians, one man, one woman. I now think she is there for school. When she gets back to Ukraine, she will have a new job that makes more money. She will no longer be in the hotel business. I will get an e-mail soon explaining this.
For those who didn't look it up, a bull market is when the stocks goes up. A bear market is when the stocks go down. Ragingbull is an overheated stock market.