I have been writing to this girl for over 1 year & building a serious relationship, but the other day just wanted to cross check her. So I created a 2 fake profile on the same agency, & obviously she sent a intro letter broadcasting herself!!! Okay I am open to the agency using her to make money & even accepting her to get commision coz the guys fake profile I created really sucks. But come on, what if she acts like this after marriage ? They don't want to communicate outside agency, they don't want to learn English, they don't want to come to another country. These girls are purely here for business transactions, period.
1: Check out the name & profile paragraphs on google & scam registers. Same girl in photos is common, same text with different photos, names = run away
2: Get the name & details of the agency early (easy on f.com, or just by emailing and asking the girl for it) & follow steps in (1)
3: State early on that you're not rich
4: State early on that you'd perhaps be willing to move to their country if the relationship goes well - ask their opinion. 'Visa hunters' will be eager to tell you they'll be happy to move to you (although some genuine ones will too, but will at least discuss you moving there)
5: Promise early on to travel soon (and mean it), but state that you have good contacts "that you trust" for apartments & interpreters. The more she fights for her agency's services to be used, the further your feet should be out the door
6: Man up and get your arse out there. Meet the agency face to face (many are just businesses - not the spawn of satan - just businesses, their objective is to make money, why is this a surprise to anyone?). If they're honest, they'll want to give you direct contact details, if they're not, phone another agency - there will be more than one, wherever you are.
7: If the girl is genuine, she'll want to get away from the agency as much as you do. Don't discount nerves with regards to this (the agency has been their 'holding hand' so far, so they often think of their agency as their 'friends'). Once she's comfortable with you, she should want to be alone with you.
8: Don't sell yourself short. If you're worth dating, believe it. If she's genuinely interested in you (after meeting), tell her you want to take your profiles off-line. If she won't, then she's not being honest with you. This is why (6) is important, as you may need to speak to the agency directly about this, as they sometimes refuse to take a girls profile down if she asks, or will give her reasons not to. If you have dialogue with both, you can see who's trying to play the 'game' - don't automatically blame the girl for a corrupt agency!
I repeatedly say I'm no expert, but these are the simple steps I figured out after just a short time of reading the advice on here (although now you'd have to scroll through the pages of pointless childishness to see any actual advice). This part of the process is the simple stuff, and shouldn't be difficult. I'm glad to be able to say I never went past 5 letters with an insincere girl before spotting her for what she was (usually 1 letter is enough), and the VAST majority of those I've met in person have been genuine, husband seeking women. They are there, they just may not have such a photoshop'd profile pic.
Once in a while we see the statistic here that one man out of twenty who writes letter will ever actually get on a plane and meet the girl. Not sure where that figure comes from. I can't think of a single unbiased potentially reliable source for information like that to come from - but I've heard it from several people. And I 've even heard it mentioned by girls living in Ukraine.
So if you have been writing to her for a year its possible that she thought you were one of the 19 out of 20 who will never meet her and she was simply hedging her bets. Writing for a YEAR without meeting is quite long. The women I have met would basically consider the relationship over if I went a year without seeing them - six months between visits in the absolute limit. Waiting a year for a first meeting sounds risky.
Would have been intresting to respond to her broadcast letter and see if she sent you a more personal one back. You might have even asked certain persoanl questions that you knew the answers to and see if the more personal letter was consistant with what you knew to be reality.
The second girl I met (2007) was listed with an agency that she never authorized to post her photo. The agency happened to be locted in her home town (though, as I said she had actually signed with another agency evidently affiliated) and I found it on the internet when I investigate. She visited this agency asking that her profile be taken down and ran into some resistance. As part of all of this and curious, she asked why she had never heard from this agency that had posted her profile - why it seemed that no men had ever shown any interest. She was told that SEVERAL men had shown interest and had bought her contact information. She was told that they had even written her letter but that agency staff had written responses to these letters. She asked if she would have ever been NOTIFED even that some man was interested in her and they told her she would have been notified if and when a man actually made the trip to MEET HER in the city. Then they would have called her and asked her if she was interested in meeting this guy that up until then she would never have even HEARD of.
And and all agencies that require you to "pay per" are scams.......
I used Elenas Models and only had to pay for my initial $99 silver membership to receive about 50 emails or addresses or phone numbers. I never used all and never, once the initial conversation using the agency email service, did I use the agency again.
Always, always, always, separate the lady from the agency as fast as you can.
If you can not, then the lady is not worth it.
I'll repeat that for effect, If you can not separate the agency immediately from the agency, then the lady is not worth the effort.
Shaz, you wrote to a girl for a year and you consider it a serious relationship? Even if you were really writing to her all it means is that you were penpals. Do you take the term 'mail order bride' literally? Do you think that when you show up that you are entitled to their love?
Who going to Socials/romanace tours, they r crap instead cum to New York/Toronto meet many girls there in Subway?
And:
1st these girls don't speak English.
2nd they want you to communicate thru interpreter service not any other method.
3rd these girls make you come all the way to their country.
4th don't know in the end what their decision is.
I will resist the almost overwhelming desire to tear into him and ask if he EVER actually intended to meet the girl he had been writing to for over a year? If he expected not to have to travel to meet her then how was he to to it? And did he expect to simply be her one-and-only penpal for all time?
And if you still hadn't visited her in a year - perhaps she saw that as an indication that you DID let her know in the end what your decision was? (Bestest Pen Pal Friends for Ever and Ever????)
And to add to shaz's comments, if you and this woman who you were building a serious relationship had not both agreed to keep your communication exclusive, then her corresponding with others (including your other profile) may be just par for the course.
Many of the real women have decided to look seriously for thier mate and will not throw all their eggs into one basket, especially if you two hadn't met in person yet.
If you had been writing to her for a year and had not yet met her in person, then I am sure she determined that you were only serious for just writing.
If you are truly serious, then if you two seem to click using modern communciation means, then the man should be expected to hop on a plane within about three months of the beginning of such correspondence; waiting any longer will just signal to them that you are not serious. Less than 5% of the men will ever hop on a plane.
This is another example of the type of posters you will find here; the one's with the my way or the highway mentality.
Rather than offering that there are many ways they all form lines where there way is the only way or else. No discussion about what to talk about or how can you tell if you are onto something, just grandiose statements. Typical.
Regardless of what the method is called, I happen to agree with dansing on this one.
I could never be sure I wanted to marry someone unless I had done a considerable portion of the courtship AFTER meeting in person. To me, marriage is a mental, spiritual, emotional AND physical union. And each of those aspect must be developed in concert with the others. Not in isolation.
But to each his own.
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Russian brides > Main Forum > Created fake profiles & the same girl is sending intro letters while I am in a serious relationship w/ her?