I wanted to ask for the thoughts of some of the experienced guys as to where they think its best to go looking to find a serious lady.
- Russia?, Ukraine?, smaller republic?
- Smaller town? vs. capital city?
- Am I best to correspond with, say, 5 girls, go out on a first date with each and then decide from there?
(I met a great girl in Kiev and we both hit it off, visited her twice, but ultimately she didn't want to leave Ukraine- it was a positive experience and now I will try again....)
a question for you: Have you ever purchased a lottery ticket?
another one: Did you visit this lady without knowing her intentions and hoping to just woo her into leaving?
The only way to know if a lady is serious is to ask her. Then confirm it through her actions. Even after you think everything is perfect, until she gets on the plane and says goodbye to her friends and family, you are still gambling. Then after she arrives, depending on the woman and her maturity level, you will be dealing with someone who is lost, unsure of herself and second guessing her decision. Then the hard part starts.
Finding a serious woman is not that difficult. Finding one for you is the hard part. It's no different than discovering a woman at your university. It is a chance meeting. Unless you just want an arranged and amicable partnership (business deal?) then you have to put in the time and effort to get to know the person. She could be from anywhere.
Yes, serious women live in these places also. Big city/small town may more depend on you and your background. Do you live in a big city or sleep town?
- Am I best to correspond with, say, 5 girls, go out on a first date with each and then decide from there?
How would you feel if a lady came to visit you but had to leave to go on another date with another guy, since she was just shopping around and after seeing all the men, she would make a decision. How would you feel?
(I met a great girl in Kiev and we both hit it off, visited her twice, but ultimately she didn't want to leave Ukraine- it was a positive experience and now I will try again....)
Advice would be appreciated.....
First you have to be serious about being serious. Really.
Then you have to be honest and honest with yourself and with any woman.
Pick a good site, like Elenas Models, and begin to correspond with about 5 woman at once. After about two or three months, you should be able to decide which of them (drop those off that don't meet your criteria and add others in that you later decide do meet your criteris but don't try to correspond with more than about 5 at once, it gets too hard to keep them separate) you think is best and then you two can take your correspondence exclusive and then agree for you to fly to her and meet. That simple.
it seems as though this is a place for men to seek advice on meeting and dating any woman, anywhere. because the questions asked about meeting several and choosing - it ain't that simple! I think many are still confused or ill advised/clueless that these women are no different than women from any other part of the world in terms of knowledge. sure there is the hope of meeting a down to earth traditional type lady. but it is not the same as going to a used car lot to pick out a lady. these are real people! if you want an intelligent and educated woman then you should consider the fact that she isn't stupid. and to put her in a line up against others is a shame. I am starting to get disgusted that many men think this is like shopping. sure there are the aspects of it that seem to be such. but in the end, what you are doing is looking for a partner/mate and someone to be your best friend. I am beginning to understand why some need to go to FSU for a woman. there are plenty serious ladies in your own country...
- Am I best to correspond with, say, 5 girls, go out on a first date with each and then decide from there?
How would you feel if a lady came to visit you but had to leave to go on another date with another guy, since she was just shopping around and after seeing all the men, she would make a decision. How would you feel?
...Unbelievable!!!!! How would I feel? Well, IF the lady flew 7000 miles, spent $3000-$4000 on trip,
paid for any of our dinners, taxi's, flowers, gave me some gifts and I am supposed to tell her she can only meet with me!!!!!! I really don't care about competition....if after meeting it is right, then you can decide whether to see other girls. Meeting is part of the process(a very large one)...it is not becoming engaged.
What I find interesting about meeting girls on internet is the fact you get to know something about about them before meeting in person(chemistry)...that is backward from the norm where you meet the girl(chemistry) first, then get to know her(dating).
If the modern man can not use the many modern communication mediums we have available pre-determine some amount of "chemistry" prior to meeting in person, then I'd say there is something wrong with the man.
If you are really serious and totally honest and open during your communication with a woman, there is no reason why you two can not determine if there is a good chance at a match prior to actually meeting. This means that you talk about everything, you know all about each other, you know what each other likes and dislikes, you talk all the time, you see each other all the time (using Internet video and sending movie clips to each other) etc, etc.
If you do not utilize these methods, then these are the men that must make many trips back and forth. They are just trying to handle the international relationship like it was one at home....you can't. The distance prevents that. Some don't make the leap.
And if I was serious about a woman and she about me and we decided to meet and she came to me and I learned she was on a shopping trip.....well I wouldn't have invited her to meet if we hadn't already made our communication exclusive, because if she had to go on a shopping trip, then obviously our relationship hadn't gone that far. I'd feel like a slab of meat, actually, and not very well.
baron has some good advice. it was a learning process for me I made many trips and learned a lot before I was successful. it is the same as dating any place in the world, you have to know and find what you are looking for.
danny41 - welcome to the club? it means bow has found someone who I am hopeful will be with him for the rest of his life. as for cam, at least she knows you have a small dick, you ass
Hey, Danny41 !!?? Yes! A girl can, and will wait months to go on a shopping trip, in fact, she will for the second year or second trip, just and only for a shoping spree!! I know!! I would show you the bills,,, but she has all of the receipts! I was fed up with the system, and I located my girl from the year before! It seemed like we were getting along just fine. I knew they like testing their men, to see if he is serious or not! So, I was all in! If it doesn't work out between us, the money won't matter, because I won't ever come back again!! I should listen to myself, a little more closely!!!
And for the main question,,,,, don't go looking in Kiev!! That's where we went shopping! They are all pros, any girl who isn't content with their "little" city,,, you know; the ones smaller than a million, all head to Kiev!! And Yes! I'm a little bitter!!
i am curious and interested in your advice. because it addresses my specific complaints. i met a few women in Russian cities, 2 years ago. none of them looked like their photos. but now with video chat (available for agency ladies only) , i can see what she looks like on webcam. i did meet a lady on that trip who had put up her 2 years old photos , and although she had changed a lot (looked 4 years older and more mature, she was ok and nice, reasonably attractive, although not as attractive like her older photos, i think ladies change a lot in their appearance from 24 to 29, probably). mostly they dont get many letters, and register on multiple websites, and therefore dont bother to update their old photos , i was givent to understand.
and some ladies put up studio photos done in photoshop or a lot of plastic makeup that you imagine them, and then go and see them, they look very different. after the initial shock you ask " were they your photos, or do you have a younger sister ", i did this once.
to cut a long story short, this lady was also serious about me. and she liked me a lot. she is from a smaller city. on way back, i met some ladies in moscow, same story, not like their photos. and one was short. i did not get her height at that time when i corresponded, as it was through some normal site. not a agency site. there they only furnish what the lady writes, she can leave blank spaces where she likes. so did this lady come to me eventually ? no, we had many plans, then her mum became sick. she has to take care of her.
but now i ask, and you said " in this modern day and age, you can check on webcam and other means, if may like her, to a pretty big extent", and another member here said " chemistry cannot be found on webcam".
assume you have written a lot of letters to this lady , but you don't like her appearance when you see her, she does not look like the mental impression you created in your mind when you received and saw all her photos, what would you do ? will you tell her you don't like her. she will say " but i am the am the same person who wrote to you all those letters ", and you say " but you look different from what i imagined you when i wrote all those letters to you for the past one year ". and a friend advises you - but it is the same woman, and you start feeling guilty about the whole thing ? am i different from you guys, what would you guys do in a similar situation ?
I don't agree with one of you guys who said that it is no shopping trip (" Baron555 said: How would you feel if a lady came to visit you but had to leave to go on another date with another guy, since she was just shopping around and after seeing all the men, she would make a decision. How would you feel? " ). i agree when you say that a lot of money and effort and time and preparation is being spent, and if we are serious about getting married to the right lady, we should have at least 3 ladies to meet if we have seen them on webcam, or at least 6 ladies if you did not see her on webcam. bear in mind that due to difficulties in travel, to many cities, schedules, hotels, etc, you may not be able to meet some ladies and some may cancel the meeting, and say aunt is sick etc or i was away , on a ski resort and i could not return, it snowed all over, no buses for her to return as she had planned. so 25% will not met you, within the small time schedule you have, and you cant overstay your visa or shoot over your hotel budget. also bear in mind that even if you both get along famously, certain family circumstances may develop , she has to take care of a mum who developed heart problem , diagnosed a year after your visit, etc, a real excuse, and she cannot come in foreseeable future, yes, this happened to me with the lady i mentioned above.
and danny41, who said " i cant see its possible to tell any kind of chemistry until you are with someone in person , from cam and phone its impossible to tell chemistry
" - maybe you are right. i dont know. but maybe we can be 80% right in our feelings about that lady before we meet her , if we use the modern methods of communication that technology gives us today.
those of you who say to meet only one lady, and talked of "it is not a shopping trip " are way out unrealistic or maybe don't appreciate the problems and complexity of the situation here, if you wish to get some progress to your goal. and yes, i do agree, avoid big city girls. but do remember, many girls from smaller cities do work in the big city or study there.
Mike...boy I can already see the advice you will get!!!!
I just think there are many ways to find a girl....just have to find the best way for YOURSELF.
Each site is just a vehicle to be used. Just have to be more careful on certain ones. I would never tell anyone to use one site or another. I know guys that have found their girl on many different ones. Some guys go to see only one girl, others( like me )see many different ones...no right or wrong only what is most comfortable for each guy. Some guys quickly meet girl and get married while others take their time. It is not a matter of serious or desperate, just each guy going at a speed their comfortable with.
After reading your post, I don't think your 'girl' was serious about you. I have heard many different stories on why girl cannot meet, from work related to sickness in family to just not showing up. It is a bad sign. You hope through correspondence you can figure out compatabilty and interests and if girl is serious about you BUT the biggest part is actually meeting in person. Don't put so much thought into pics of girl, they almost never look the same....even from web cams... I have met in person over 30 girls and only once to she look better in person......most just look different. If you create a 'mental impression', you will be setting yourself for a letdown. Just remember, the girl can be letdown too when seeing a guy for first time!!!!! And I am sure some girls have been called scammers for not seeing the guy again....always nice to have other girls to meet!!!
I recently saw an episode of sOUTH pARK. the one where chef gets put in jail by johnny cocharin. he was raising money to get jc to be his lawyer. he had to sleep with all the women in sp - $100 a pop. for the bus driver lady he needed a bag to put over her head because, "It will make it a more pleasurable sexual experience." :))))) where's this going /:{ - oh! yeah, better take along some paper bags in case the mental picture doesn't fit reality. just hope she isn't a 'two bagger', you know, you need a bag over your head in case the one on her head tears away.
chemistry usually doesn't involve paper bags though... there's always vodka!
Hey danny41?? Lol Yes! I think I am desperate,,, isn’t that why we are all here?? My nickname is; lonelyranger,,,, not busyranger!!
The story with her is; We had met before and got along great! Our letters were good too, before our first meeting and after. But,,, last summer 2009, her letters changed, she would let them sit unread for a week or more. She claimed to be sick, but gave few details and even fewer answers! Her letters weren’t being translated very well either, many mistakes! It turns out, it was her agency that was dropping the ball, and they were at times a week behind! I had been upset with her over this,,, and she never truly forgave me. She left the site and I lost contact with her!
This last winter, I went to see someone else, and it did not work at all. I contacted someone else who I had been writing to, but she did not show up! I started looking through my notes from the previous year, and found a phone number! I called it, and Katya answered,,, and she is now in Kiev!!
I did buy her things to win her attention, but also to help her out! Half of the things she bought were useful! If we were to be a couple, this is something I would have done automatically!
At the first dinner together this winter, I could tell she was a little on the hungry side. She had lost about 20 lbs which gave me a few moments of pause,,,,, 1, she’s no longer eating her Mother’s cooking, and 2, having sex 1 to 10 times a day will do that??!!! Her style of clothing changed drastically!!!
I didn’t get to spend as much time with her as I wanted, but we did have some good moments. I did spend a bundle on her shopping,,,, I also gave her my leftover cash,, grevnares,,, about 5,500! This was for getting her own internet hookup! I thought all of my actions would lead us to a future together. ,,,,,,, NOT!!
I get home and I look for her email,,,,, there’s no email! I wait awhile,, and then I try to call! I can’t seem to get through? Sometimes I get a message in English; your call can not be completed as dialed, or,, it rings once, and then a busy signal? I know some cell phones have an “Ignore” button??? I did finally get through to her by calling at 4:00am here! She had a 101 excuses, but no good ones!
So,,,, to anyone who is reading this!!!
Yes! If she is a good honest girl,,,, she will want to help save you money!!!!!!
If everything that we did together was a total lie during my last trip, then so was the first trip!!! There were dozens of little red flags,,, I saw them, but made excuses for her and gave her the benefit of doubt! I couldn’t believe it either, that someone could be lying for so long, so many letters, just for a “chance” to scam!! That was my biggest mistake!!!
I didn’t have any real plan during my last trip,,, except perhaps; to be a nice guy??!!