the other day in casual conversation I asked my lady for advice. it is my nature to include my partner in decisions that affect our home or whatever. usually I get input. but when it came to something that was more than just what curtains to get or whatever... her reply was BE THE LEADER. it was so profound as I expected something more than just that. but it goes to show (understand) that there is a huge difference between the women I am used to (american bitches) and what I have come to realize with my russian wife. it was not something amazing - maybe had to do with organizing a few things or a purchase of $$ - but for her to just flatly state, "BE THE LEADER." we had a short conversation after that. and I now understand that even though she is tough and sometimes can be obstinate, she still wants a man. she basically told me to be the man.
how can I make it any planer than that?
I wonder with the way society is changing if men even know how to be a man. be careful when she says (you say and it will be) that is just code for I don't care to comment rite now but reserve the right to change my mind.
I've seen that it's not unusual for women's profiles on dating sites to say something like, she is looking for a man who knows what he wants.
It seems to me that women Over There have a higher expectation than I am used to in the US of A, for men to be knowledgeable and decisive. They accept the idea of gender roles -- there are things that women do better, and things that men do better. Of course, most people around the world think this way -- but this notion is viewed with deep suspicion in America!
What is Ralph's wife trying to say? Mr. Durak knows but he will not say it directly. He does not know what he wants, she things he should be more knowledgeable and decisive and he does not know what his role is as a man. In other words, he has no clue about marriage.
I attempted to resist the nonsense for a while. But raging dipshit just doesn't let up on ANYONE!!! Not just me. Perhaps you didn't understand the context - or I actually didn't expound upon the situation - of the "Be the leader" response. It doesn't matter. There are those who claim that to be the almighty ruler of the house is bad. Men acting like dicks and controlling women (trying to?) is why so many relationships fail. Your wife is your partner and as such should be consulted about certain things. Gender rolls? You have no fucking idea you clown. I happen to be what is commonly referred to as a 'man's man'. Because I include my spouse in discussions makes me gender confused? Because I enjoy and cook gourmet meals makes me gender confused? And yes, I know how to pick a wine. How about knowing that while am out with a bow in a tree deer hunting that my wife is preparing dinner for me and has a cold beer ready for when I walk through the door.
My wife made a joke today. I surprised her this morning with our weekend agenda. Nutcracker ballet tonight, Philly orchestra tomorrow - Handle's Messiah (I happen to know the score to this because I sang in it many years ago), staying in nice center city hotel and dinner. I explained to her that I reserved a parking space at the kimmel center to ensure we could get on the road right after the concert to make it home in time to watch the eagles game. And she exclaimed, "OH! THAT IS MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THE TRIP! YOU CANNOT MISS THE IMPORTANT EAGLES GAME!"
So don't even try to tell me about gender roles. I just happen to know how to treat a lady. You idiot! And by the way, name calling? Pointing out to someone that he is an idiot is not name calling. It just is what it is, stating the obvious.
Hope y'all enjoy the holidays. Our NEW YEAR TREE looks great.
Who said anything about your cooking? Because you cook you are indecisive? You are indecisive because you don't know what you are doing and she has to tell you what to do. What do you say she was trying to tell you other than what Mr. Durak has said if not that, Ralph?
Sure, my wife used to be like that, but after a few years she began to change due to the influence of the American woman who influenced her to grow those balls herself. Be aware that what you got in the beginning will mostly change after a few years in the USA.
You're imagining things again Ivor, just like you imagined your wife. It wasn't Ralph who said to be a man. His wife did. She's already there, Frank. She doesn't need an American woman to influence her.
This is true of many/most FSU ladies. They want a man who can make decisions, take control and
make them feel comfortable and treat them like a lady all at the same time. Most American/western
men arent cut out for it as they have become woosies and pansies.
This is scarry stuff, would you care to give a litle more detail how your foreign bride changed her attitude? I ask this because I was married to a Russian woman for 1.75 years and she left to return to Russia, but we parted without any divorce problems I gave her a years salary and she agreed to a simple divorce. I'm now about to mary a Ukrianian woman within the next 6 months and I fear she would be a larger liability (to my estate) because she brings her teenage daughter with her.
yeah franklcw majority rules,, you reminded me of a family dinner with extended family one night here in New Zealand.
family house it was, self serve, we fill up our plates and basically scoff out:)
well as gentlemen we kiwis are, we let most kids visitors and women go first when food is ready to be grabbed..
having my Russian friend fresh from the far east with me, she asks what i would like to eat..
i too busy discussing the finer kiwi wines or some crap with others, i say anything "its all good"..
to the amazement of most females in the room and amusement of males she presents a filled plate to me in moments, serving me first before herself of cause, and most others..
she herself became center of attention (as in what are you doing they ask:)) my sister was dumbfounded,, female cousins choked on their crayfish and ham..
how i enjoyed that:) she asked me after-wards did she do wrong:)
my first thought "well one day you just might if you stay here long enough"
i think Ralph she saying she would like to be surprised a bit more, no need to discuss everything
Mini Cooper: The point is, people evolve and will be influenced by others besides yourself. If your new bride gets a job and associates with other more "liberated women" she will assimilate to the new culture she is witnessing. These American women will make sure she has the liberated response to your interactions. It took my wife about a year to evolve and become the American woman instead of what she initially presented as a Russian one. Being properly assimilated will be one of her goals in order to fit in with her new woman friends. It is what it is.