Thank you for your very constructive advise. I have now found out that the teacher did in fact have to go to Kiev for work and she only got back a few hours ago. Her agency keeps calling me to set me up with ever more women but I have told them I will not see any others until I have seen her. She is not beautiful but she is surely cute. She is not a model but inside she is perfect when she is warm. Ill meet with her tonight and explain things to her. I will remind her that I gave her the right to ask for things she needed of me. And I will start by showing her how it is done. I will tell her that I feel I am wasting my time here with out her and if meeting the other women will cause us to remain distant then despite my telling them I would meet them (yes saying it is promising it to me) I will have to speak with them and explain it simply can not be. If it is something she needs to be comfortable it is hers. On another note the next step after that will be to just explain to her that while she may put off our meetings and not really be into them, I can not be expected to sit in my apartment day after day waiting for her to change her mind. I have spoken with the lady with the country house and against my better judgment I have told her I am unable to say that for certain I can go with them. I told her it will be tonight before I know.
Giss,,, the agency has their best interests in mind,,, they will do what is best for them. I don't ever listen to agencies,, or the cute interpreters, no matter how much they say they like me!!
Getting back together with the teacher sounds like they best move for you,,be nice to her!!
I picked up on the thing about promising to meet the other girls before meeting the current one. Still, I stand by my original post by saying you blew it.
She assumed (either correctly or incorrectly) that she had established a relationship with you. When you asked her if it was OK what was she suppossed to say? In her eyes, you revealed yourself as a player so she tried to save face by saying she had to go to Kiev. Sure she lied, but that was easier than telling you that you're through.
So what that you promised to meet the other girls first! Same thing with the honesty thing. It's like th punch line to the old joke, "You don't sweat much for a fat girl." There is such as a thing as being too honest to the point of bluntness too.
Do you think your married friends could get away with telling their wives, "Honey, I'm going to be totally honest here and tell you I'm going to go out and screw another woman tonight."
Giss... been in your shoes and done that before... Letting the women you meet know you are visiting others can be honorable, but the women feel like you are not really interested in them or you would not have promised so many to go and visit. You would have been better off to just do an AFA social, meet someone you are interested in, date a few more times on that visit, go home, and make arrangements to see just ONE girl the next visit. To visit one girl, have feelings for her, then tell her you are visiting 20 others makes her feel unimportant and not special. Probably the reason you are now being avoided.
I have taken the path you walk thinking honestly is best, and it is... but your mistake is feeling you need to visit every person you said you would. As you have now realized, many of those you wrote were not the person writing back to you. The deception from agencies is amazing as they try to generate revenue. Your mistake is not in being honest, but being foolish to think so many are interested in you without having met face to face prior to arranging a visit where you hope to establish a relationship. Find the ONE, and visit just that ONE... See how that works for you...
The saga continues. wheres lonely ranger when you need his writing ability? Ok so another day has come and gone with no sight of the teacher. all has been very quiet. As I learned there is a difference between not seeing other women and being a saint. So I have dated a few women yesterday. One was a lady I had met once before. a very pretty sweet woman perhaps 38 who is a gardener by profession, or a farmer depending on what you want to look at. She is wonderful warm and very sweet but I have some questions whether we would be able to relate to each other on the same level for the long term. She really likes me though I can tell. The next one is a stunning 30 year old doctor. She laughs alot when we are together and acts like she is truly interested. When I put myself in her shoes thought I would not go out with me, but again I dont know the lives of these women that well either. On the other hand she is going out of town this week and requested a date when she arrives on friday night. I met a third woman yesterday I had not written her before and saw her photos and thought My how nondescript. I went out with her at the suggestion of my translator though and found her absolutely lovely. She sat most of the night with her arms crossed across her chest and I figured ok a nice evening spent with a woman who is not interested. Once we were alone my translator said the ladys opinion was if I shaved my mustache I would be the perfect man. I dont know if I buy it or not. One woman from two days ago sent me some very VERY warm letters telling me she can not wait until we meet again WHile very pleasant I dont know about her. She seems rather vanilla for my taste. She is very pleasant and is quick with a lovely smile.
So for tuesday I have a date with a woman who is 28 and I have been writing for well over a year. She has been ill but wishes to meet. For the evening I have the opportunity to go back out with the crossed arms lady (why?) and earlier than that to meet the farmer/ gardener (she has told me she will meet me any time, any where).
My baser instincts and boredom and lack of my teacher (who again is promised by the translator to meet with me today) has prompted me to take the country house option tomorrow night., I will just make it a 1 night visit to there.
There is also another woman who is 41 I have been speaking with for months who wanted to meet me very badly but her son has just had his appendix removed and she is working and visiting him at the hospital. I wrote her a lovely letter of sympathy and understanding. I have had mine out and I know maybe 5 days and all is much better. Im sure I will meet her before I depart.
So to keep track there are now at least 3 women who think Im perfect. Unfortunately one is probably too much of a home body, another is perhaps not a match for me on an intellectual level (Im not sure) but is very very nice person, and the third a hair stylist who may be a little wild but I will find out tomorrow.
On the maybe list is the woman with the crossed arms (maybe but probably not unless she makes the next contact) and the beautiful 30 year old doctor who Im meeting friday. Now if I run out of things to do I may go hang out in front of the AFA social. I know enough of the people running it I probably can just slip in, but even if I cant there are always 3 dozen women hanging out front where it is quiet and a good place to talk. Ill be back tomorrow night for the ne4xt installation. Ooh yes, I wrote a very apologetic letter to my teacher and told her I had fulfilled all my meeting obligations and that I miss her very much. I was very sincere in my missing her and reminded her of all the things we had discussed in the past. I told her as soon as we speak I will not meet another woman.
An interesting side note. I had told the teacher we can meet in Dominican republic this winter and she had told that to all of the translators at the agency. When I asked the translator if that did not mean she was very interested in me, the translator laughed and said " no, 99% of Ukraine women would take you up on an offer like that" I said but we will be sharing one room, one bed. so I couldnt believe her 99% number. She said that did not matter to a Ukraine woman of the right age. a trip over seas would still get such a high acceptance rating. Wow, that brings up many new possibilities about younger women....
Ooh yea I remember Im here to meet ONE woman not to end up shacking up with 25 year olds, but if the first thing doesnt work....
So last night my very hot interpreter hangs out with me because we have no one to meet. She says "I need to go get my coat fixed" So I tag along. Holy crap a model who does clothes! Shes 5'11" 130 of beautiful! Probably 38 years old. So they are talking and my interpreter says do you mind if ______ comes to our restaurant later and sits with us? Is this a trick question? I say hell no, shes welcome! So we walk away and the interpreter says "She asked if we were meeting someone and if we werent she wanted to meet you" Spent a wonderful evening with her and her son at the pizza place.
Next morning I get a letter from my teacher : So you arent seeing anyone, how about the women in the pizza restaurant with you? I explain just what happened then told her "You dont seriously think I would sit in my apartment for 5 days waiting for you to imagine you waited long enough?" "If you would have come over I would have excused myself and joined you" But what ever happened to she was too busy? Met the model/seamstress for lunch and determined she will be my next wife. She is coming to my apt on Sunday to make dinner for me and her. She is perfect. So my interpreter promised that I would meet with the woman we didnt meet with last night. Ok kind of frumpy, boring...nothing to write home about looks or personality wise. HEre she comes and holy crap! Shes STUNNING! and shes wearing NO make up at all! We spend 4 hours over dinner and now I have two perfect selections for a wife. When you add that to the kidney doctor Im meeting on Friday night again, I have all I need. I say my teacher who? I say the hell with all these women who want to play games. I have now 3 perfect women to date for the next 9 days and when I leave I will have a vacation planned for one on some island somewhere
so now you have three new finalists. I am guessing that any other last minute entries will be given the same amount of scrutiny. I think you should have them all meet together and have a pillow fight. and the winner is, well, the winner. make sure they wear their sexiest lingerie and take lots of photos. seriously, have them all meet with you at the same time for the final judging.
giss, it seems to me that you don't need any advice from us, or at least that we have none that you will use. It isn't that I don't understand your perspective, reactions, etc. -- I understand them only too well, I can certainly identify!
Those who watch TV coverage of auto races from the UK are likely to have heard a commentator who works a lot of such events, who sometimes says (as 3 cars are diving into a turn that will only accommodate one, or a driver approaches a corner catastrophically off line), "that's going to end in tears."
One of my favorite lines from an auto race was driver interview (while the event was still running, this unfortunate lad having wrecked both his car and that of a major driver as well) in which the rookie said, "it seemed like a good idea when I turned in, but it seemed less and less of a good idea as I approached the apex." What brings me a smile each time I think of this, is that his changing judgment occurred over an interval of less than one second.
If a gravestone eventually marks my passing, it might be appropriately inscribed, "It seemed like a good idea at the time."
Where have i ignored your advice? I went from 18 down to just two! The model and the kidney doctor, then a surprise third entered. Actually the kidney doctor is not really a prospect as I can only meet her on the weekends, so thats like one more date. She may be a good prospect for next visit if neither of the other two work out but we just cant spend that much time together. I have a date for all day at the Kharkov zoo with the model and her son then shes making me dinner at my apt on Sunday. Ok so Im being very respectful, considerate, honest. WHat else am I supposed to do? It was kind of cool yesterday when we were talking. She asked me about my mom (deceased) and I couldnt help but shed a tear for her. The models eyes filled with tears and she tried her best to console me. She really is a wonderful lady. Now on top of this I have the 22 year old (How young is too young thread) constantly calling me to come to Nikolaev. I have told her I cant and she is going wild. I told her we can meet in the dominican republic in February.
so today met with the gardener. Shes very sweet but Im not sure for me. The new third candidate spent the evening in a traditional Russian village restaurant drinking vodka with dinner. All of us (3 with translator) had a great time. We got up to about 10 toasts and perhaps a little toasted ourselves. #3 could not have been sitting closer to me with out being on my lap. The translator kept asking if we were in love yet and after each shot I would tell her Just a little more. What a sweet heart she is.
So tomorrow going out with gardener in the day, taking out a new woman at lunch. She helped me out when I was stranded in Kiev, but knowing her friends, i can be sure she is beautiful. then tomorrow night, saying goodbye to kidney doc. Just not enough availability. Go out with #3 again as she is not my type physically but mentally we are exact matches. Shes warm, fun, funny, a really strong candidate.
The weekend in the zoo with the model in kharkov saturday and shes cooking dinner sunday at my house. She had a big fight with her sons dad so she can not leave him there so hes with us. He keeps telling her "HEs a really good man" in Russian, because I speak no Russian.
The teacher still hasnt appeared and I dont think she will. She is a game player from way back apparently but plays a good "serious" game.
Ok so now Im down to three, all of them really great women, and the fourth wild card at lunch tomorrow.
"She is a game player from way back apparently but plays a good "serious" game."
giss...that may describe you best!!!!!
while your spinning your wheels and your gas guage($$$) is going down rapidly, at the cost of stroking your ego...where is it all heading???
While I am one to see many girls on a visit...if there is a second one it is best to focus on one!!!!!
Your decription of 'making promises' to other girls is an excuse to see them.....if you you find right girl, all others should understand, if they don't, THEY have a problem.
You'll either find me walking at freedom...or bolero....at yaske!!!!!!
Yea, maybe Giss you can go to bolero and have tables of girls patiently waiting for you!!!! ;-))
Bolero? Is that a gay bar? Plans change very fast. Met the teacher and when I asked why she was ok with me meeting other women she said it was fine but she had seen me out with another woman once she returned. It happened she was my translator! When I told her that was just my translator she would only say "shit happens" No, I tell the truth and she is the game player. Oh well. Said goodbye to the kidney doc. What a shame, but she had near zero availability. Met some 28 year old bimbo at my interpreters insistence tonight.... what a waste. So at lunch time, with nothing to do I hooked up with the 22 year old woman who saved me from being stranded in Kiev. We started drinking around noon and stayed till 4. She had a broken foot so she was kind of slow. We laughed all day long. She was very smart and funny, but way too young. In the morning Im leaving with the model and her son to go to Kharkov zoo. There is nothing but wonderful things about her to report. She is my favorite but she always has her son with her. I havent had the chance to get closer with her because hes always there. Hes a good kid and keeps telling her "Hes a great guy". Sunday shes cooking at my apt for all of us and Im sure I can corner her in the kitchen to see how things are really going. She has been asking some really in depth "If I move to your city" questions lately and Can you accept my son questions. I can settle with her. #3 is getting very physical lately...shes not beautiful but what a body! Didnt see the farmer today. Maybe ill invite her over to make me dinner on tuesday before I leave.