i got ya Tom i didnt realize it was over an item, thats plenty.
i think you guys are missing the point.
how long have some of you been doing this and still hold this odd idea.
when it comes to extra marital affairs or any type of affairs in general theres only one species who dominates cunning and secrecy at its best and that is a female.
you surely must know this?
if they are going to do anything that contradicts your relationship they will do it with a lot more cunning then any male of their equal.
so how dose it help demanding her to delete a stupid profile?
i'm really curious with this?
is this mystical moment going to protect you or me of been made a fool of if its going to happen, ya think?
getting realistic is defiantly the prize word.
shouldnt one start with the easy stuff first like if shes a thief, drug addict, alcoholic, mentally disturbed, diseased, rotten attitude to her ex-boyfriends, health issues, gold digger, pro dater, her work drama's, family issues, attitude to others, or what ever else that contradicts your integrity.
how well do you know her Tom?(just using you as a example dude) can you nock all those off i mentioned or be satisfied its at ok levels?
the list can go on, but how can one switch off a hotty on heat by deleting a profile has me a bit lost, is it something magic i haven't heard of?
to ask of something as stupid as this when that should come naturally, and its what comes naturally is what you are looking for, yes?
if she doesn't do it naturally chances are she just aren't into you that much.
so let her do it naturally and then you will know where she sits.
its to simply stupid,, excuse my punt.
again it has to be ones own security issues to have some kind of problem with this because it helps your predicament in no actual way.
hell the girl could easily be on other sites with diff name, how many times have we seen that.
its the last thing a man will ever find out about is a girls extra tendencys yet its the first thing he wishes for her to stop,, how?
Kiwi -- well for a serious agency girl, having her profile on the internet is a very serious issue. Most serious agency girls are there with the intent to meet a foreign man. But of course one can't rule out infidelity in any regards.
I've met or talked to more than one agency girl who dates local Ukraine men while in the agencies.
I don't want to speak for him, but I know where he is coming from. It's a symbolic jesture and to agency men, a serious one at that. A girl who will not remove her profile while proclaiming she has serious intentions and wants a serious relationship has serious issues...
I have threatened my fiance to put my profile back online and its a serious matter to her... She told me the last time I did it, it felt like I betrayed her. Her words...
Kiwi,,, I hear what you are saying,,, how important is removing her profile, when she could sleep with the next door neighbor anytime she wants??? So true, she is over there, and we are over here,, what can we do to stop it??? Almost nothing!
Removing her profile is a simple token or gesture of her intentions!!!! To like and then love each other,,, to make plans for the future, and perhaps get married one day,,, removing her profile is the first step!! To keep it, is being openly defiant! They all know our opinion of agencies and agency girls, they should be happy to distance themselves from them!!
If they can’t do this simple act, then why should we bother to invest our time and money on them???
In one of your posts, you wrote; “this could stuff you up” sometimes that’s a good thing!!! The last girl I went to see was reluctant to do anything to further the relationship! She said all the right words in her letters,,, but did nothing!! She worked,,, literally,,, a stones throw from my hotel,,,, and couldn’t meet with me??? We had planned to meet in Kiev,, and spend several days there! She was excited about this! Then she was behind at work, and could not stay in Kiev,,,, but was happy to meet me!! I wrote to her; I don’t want to travel for 24 hours or more, then have a 6 hour taxi ride! I will stay in Kiev the first night,,, you and the interpreter can pick me up with the driver the next morning!! Then, she is too busy to come to Kiev, and we could stay for a few days in Kiev before I leave. I reluctantly agreed, and said I would meet her the next evening!!! I received her reply at O’Hare ,,,, “She anxiously awaits my arrival” To me,, it sounds like she wants to see me????
I get to her town,,, the interpreter says,,, your girl can not see you today,,, do you want to meet with other women??? My girl is a friend of hers’,,,,, she wants me to cheat on her??? I tell her; NO! The next day she is still too busy,,,, why don’t you choose some others??? NO! The third day,,,,, the girl joined another agency and has found someone else, he arrived the same day as you, and took her to Thailand!! Why don’t you choose another woman??? !@$#%&^%F@!!^(^%#@@%@!@!!!!!! NO!!
For the record, I don’t believe the interpreter! I think she was hoping for the normal,,,, knee-jerk reaction,,,, of when someone cheats on you,,,,, to look for someone else!! 10USD per hour!
But if it is true,,, to let someone come all the way to that distant city,,, lying to him for months,,, and let him sit there??!! That’s what I mean by saying; it’s a good thing!! I wouldn’t want such trash in my house!!!!
So Kiwi,, you can see how a simple goodwill gesture is important to me!! No,, it does not end with removing her profile,,, but it is a start!
In the future,,, I won’t lift a finger if the girl resists any decent request! Well,,, maybe one finger!!
lonely - that sucked hard. Sorry you experienced that. There are more than a few reasons why that could have happened. Girl already had boyfriend, agency money making, but she kept her profile online... But in the end you are correct.
I would have spoken to the manager of her agency. If she didn't call, then contact the website where you met the girl and at least get a 100% refund of all correspondence, chats, etc. On HRB (hotrussianbrides) they would give you a refund and also financially penalize the agency for that. On Anastasia they don't care and allow scams to occur. When I complained about girls as yours on Anastasia someone from support writes and tells me it is not their fault and no refund is given. But they will financially penalize the agency if a customer complains but you won't see any refund. It would mean they are in error and open to litigation I have heard. I was once thinking of hiring ex-translators from the agencies to do a Documentary Expose about the agency scams, but in the end, it wouldn't help. There are some really sincere girls and the situation in Ukraine has not improved, it has gotten worse in the last 5 years. Hgrivna is in much worse shape then when I first came there in 2006. Lots of unemployment and the EU hates Ukraine for its politics.
I will remind you that removing a profile from the agency is a VERY SERIOUS event. It means the agency cannot make money from her profile. It means the other primary websites are informed that the girl is in a relationship. If you have met your girl and you both agree to pursue serious relations and the girl will not remove her profile? That is as bad a sign as you can get. Actions speak louder than words.
BUT! If you have not met and expect an agency girl to remove her profile? That is not going to happen. As I mentioned, it took a month of meetings and a second meeting (return) just to see her - for my girl to know I was truly serious with her to VOLUNTEER to remove her profile.
pal,, yeah it sucked, but I was actually expecting something like that! I told two people on the forum about my concerns a few days before I left. I had bad vibes for months, and I knew something was off, and these girls have a real aversion for answering questions!
I was a member of this site with a VIP membership, I could see their letter count, and when most of them logged in last! This girl never logged in???? I know she has no real control on the number of letters she receives, but there was an exact pattern to the timing of those letters, they were not at random! 0-0-2-0-0-3-0-0-2-0-0-2 and so on! I knew they could not be letters from new men,,, but how could her other pen-pals be so punctual??? And,, on the day she received her letters from other men,, it was the day I would receive my letter from her! This pattern went on for like 15 months with only one exception!!
I asked her about this many times, and never received an exact answer. Once she said; “I only receive refusals“,,, doesn‘t that mean she is sending out intro letters??! The other time; I don’t have any other correspondence as serious as ours’” Well, that tells me, that she does have other correspondence!!
Before we met, I did not make an issue of it, I really didn’t have the right to! But with her wanting to continue the relationship after we met, I thought that gave me the right to have a few more answers??
We first met Jan of 2011 and I was not very happy when I left her city. We didn’t spend near enough time together for such a long trip like that. But she wanted to continue the correspondence. By late summer, I notice her letters are arriving a little slower, and I ask her if there was someone else??? She says; No,,, her work has been keeping her busy! Well,,, what can I say about that?? Her letters become shorter and slower,,, but those other letters keep coming in! I finally tell her; I am able to see your letter count and I know you are receiving letters from other men!! No reply to that??!! In the next letter, I tell her again,, and I write her letter count,,, and when she received the last few letters!! Booom!! How dare you spy on me???!!!! You broke into the agency computers?? You are a criminal!! NO!,, I’m sorry my dear, but hacking into your agencies computers is beyond my abilities!!!!! I pay an extra 10USD each month, for the ability to see a girls letter count and when they logged in last!!! She didn’t seem or want to understand that?! I tried to explain it in the next few letters but to no avail! In her last letter to me, she made it very clear that we were finished!! Okay,,, no problem!!!! In the next few weeks, my computer crashed! Or,, I should say; It met with my fist???!! It was not anger over this, it froze and was locked tight, I was doing three things at once on it! Beep,,,,,, fist!! I wasn’t in any hurry to replace it! Eventually I did and when I got back online,, there were two letters from her waiting for me,,, wishing me a happy birthday??!! Slowly,,, our correspondence resumed! It seemed that she had some regrets,, but we didn’t talk about the past very much. We both missed the other! Then her letters took a little twist?? Her letters were becoming flirty,,, not her style! I’m now more than ever,,,, wondering just who is writing the letters??!!!
I often thought about just ending the relationship, and not even bother to say goodbye, but not knowing would really bother me. I made the trip just to find out!! Knowing this,,,, I wrote to an ex after arriving in Kiev. I went to the hotel, showered, and went down to the lobby for the wi fi,,, some of you might remember the post about the working girl jiggling her breasts 8 feet in front of me while I was trying to write,,, yeah, it was at this time!!! 36 hours without sleep and two size 4 breasts jiggling makes for poor concentration!!
I told my ex, that I had to go to xxxx, but I think it will only be for a few days, I’m expecting difficulties!
I had a reply the next day. You came to Ukraine but not for me?! I replied;,,, My dear,, 8 months between emails makes me believe you don’t care very much!!!! She agreed to meet with me when I returned?? I was stunned! If she didn’t, I planned to get some R&R!! Unfortunately,,, I became sick after returning to Kiev, I did little of nothing, only met for a short time.
As for getting money back from the website,,, I’m not concerned about that. It won’t happen for one thing, and I didn’t pay per letter, just 39 or 49 per month. I would like to have the two weeks over again though!!! My winter trip is normally to Daytona Beach, or Ft. L. I take other vacations,, but they are always with family,,, fishing and hunting. The winter trip is my time, and I had 4 of them completely wasted!
I never asked the girl to remove her profile, we needed it! She claimed not to have internet, and did not speak enough English. I told her,,,, the same computer translation is available off of the website too!! It didn’t matter to her. I was prepared to buy her a computer, internet connection,,,, and maybe even English lessons,,, but only IF everything went perfect!! It’s her loss! I am 100% happy about this though!! For reasons I can not say on the forum, her NOT showing up, was the best thing she could have done for me! I just wish she could have been honest with me “Before” I made such a trip. That’s why I wonder who wrote her letters to me?? The number one goal of every agency, is to get you to their city!!! And they did! But,, they did not get rich over it! I was scammed a grand total of 10USD by the interpreter,,,, plus a 20USD tip!! Lol I might be the first person to travel so far,,, and refuse to meet anyone else?! And at that time,, I didn’t fricken care!
One reason why I put up with so much, is that she was not on any other websites! I did a thorough search too! In the past, I once found one of my girls on 46 or 47 sites before I got tired of looking. She was a
I see the end of the story was cut off, here is the rest.
One reason why I put up with so much, is that she was not on any other websites! I did a thorough search too! In the past, I once found one of my girls on 46 or 47 sites before I got tired of looking. She was a real person,,,, I didn’t need to pinch her to find out. She was the typical agency girl, letting the interpreter write the letters for her and just showing up for dinner. I found her on Vk this last year and tried to write to her,,,, but she doesn’t have a message link in her profile??? So,,, I tried to become her “friend”?? I then met her boyfriend!! In the first few letters,,, not too much of his writing translated. Lol He then started to ask me questions,,,, if we met,,, when,,,, etc! It should be noted that he had photos in his profile that preceded our meeting! His profile is full of pictures with the two of them together,,, they are a couple! Her profile is a different story,,, not one photo of him!!! In fact,, he is not even a friend???? To find the truth about a girl,, sometimes you need to search the friends of friends,,, and go through their photos!! Very time consuming! You will probably learn more about the girl in ten minutes on Vk, than a whole year of letter writing on a website. You get to see their tastes in everything,,, and all the things she dreams about!! Most of these girls in the big cities are like deer looking into a car’s headlights, when it comes to all of the possibilities of western life. I really wonder what percentage of the girls that move to the big cities for better opportunities,,,, end up on their backs or knees,,,, OR ON A WEBCAM,,,, because they are DESPERATE????? Especially young and pretty women with a child!!! The webcam doesn’t need to be on a website, because the goal of an agency or agency girl,, is to get you to their city!!!!!! I have found some that I have recognized from the dating websites,,, and I had wrote to one!!! It breaks your heart to see that!!!
lonely, i do get the picture..
i guess the difference is i dumped the agency idea from the very beginning.
my opinions should not be taken into account if they use agencys.
these places one would have to tick every box plus more to be sure of anything.
all ukraines know they are there to screw westerners.
i live to far away and i'm not much of a believer in wishing wells to put any reliability on agency girls.
one of my closest friends in ukraine is a ex agency interpreter, i dont know why she really befriended me at the time, it wasn't because she was attracted to me, hell i wish, she is seriously attractive and mind-fully stunning.
her incite to me was gold, she also had a profile on these places, she also had no intention to ever leaving ukraine.
to force an employee to be part of there scam to the fullest really shows the integrity of these places.
her employment was very short.
Kiwi,, dumping the agency IS the best,,, if you have plenty of time to spend over there and search the old fashioned way?? I don’t!!
If I had to sum up the problems with this foreign dating with one word,,, it would be “agency”!!!
I know several interpreters too, and I’m still in contact with them. I wrote to one on and off of the websites. Then she became a translator for an agency,,, and I think she is now part owner?? I really like her, she is smart, cute, funny,,, and she understands my type of humour,,, but she is working for the enemy!!! Several times a year, she goes on these “dating vacations” and I don’t know if she is working or dating?! I don’t have any problems with taking a girl on a vacation,,,, but some go “sight unseen”!!! Meeting a guy in a foreign country before meeting them in their own city?? I don’t want anything to do with such a girl.
I got sick in Kharkiv really bad. The doctors in Kharkiv were arguing with me about how to cure me. I told them it was a bacterial infection I got from the hotel staff who probably coughed or spat in my food, or the warm water they used to clean the spoons and forks (doesn't kill the bacteria). I wanted antibiotics and they kept giving me cold remedy medicine saying it was the flu. I got a lot worse. Finally had my taxi bodyguard guy call his family doc (an old soviet Submariner chief medical officer who agreed and got me strong antibiotics. I was near as death as I ever been in my entire life. Hadn't eaten in 13 days!!! I was cured in 3 days after the antibiotic treatment...
My fiance was told that when she was a little girl, she had a serious infection on her foot. She went to a Ukraine doctor who said her foot had to be amputated!! Fortunately her mother thought the doc was a first-rate clown and went to Kiev for a real doc, who said it was slight fungal foot infection and just rubbed ointment on the infection and it went away in a few days...
Next doctor who argues with me, I'll demand a refund of the visit price. The internet nowadays is a lot better than most Ukraine doctors will be their entire career. But medicine is cheap there, but so are the doctors skills. Be wary of getting sick there.
You ignored my question, Danny. For whatever reason other than he can if and when he wants to, why is FSU dating not for LR? Because he failed this time? That follows the same logic a since you failed with Irina, FSU marrying is not for you either, doesn't it? Am I wrong?
LR - Sometimes a guy has no options but to use an agency. Doesn't know Russian (every person in Ukraine besides villagers in Western/Southern Ukraine speaks or knows Russian).
But I agree in point that sometimes you can manage well if you situate yourself in Ukraine (via business or other means of self-sufficiency). Off and on, I will hire a personal secretary and go to the malls or nightclubs (with secretary/translator) and meet someone new. Yes, I can easily get a girl to come join for drinks. It's not every day when a local Ukraine girl gets free drinks and meets a foreigner. So that becomes an easy approach.
What you fail to realize (or maybe you do) is that online dating helps you filter the undesireable personality traits faster and cheaper than wasting several hundred dollars on a drinking night, and then some time later find out she hates men who watch sports, or sits on the couch, or hates that you are on the computer... or a 1000 other reasons that cause relations to fail had it been known.
And the main reason why we go to FSU? The quality and quantity of available women!
Why is that? The culture of men there (women do outnumber men there - successful, or smart men, try to leave as soon as they finish university). Because they want to make more money and have a chance at a better life too. You don't want to work in Ukraine for a Ukraine owner making 10-20% your current salary would you? You think you could afford the cost of romantic relations?
Use your time and money wisely. Try your best to use the letters not to jump to some emotional cloud. Use it to filter out what you don't want in a wife. Ask the hard questions. Get answers to see if that one is the one you can see yourself for all life.
And remember photoshop is a girl's bestfriend in the agency. ;)
And if you don't make much money? Don't go trying to over impress a girl with gifts and vacations if its going to make a serious dent in your finances. She will keep expecting to receive them. I know my fiance wants to go on some more trips before we marry.
So sending $250 is okay. I send more to my fiance for gifts, but that is me. I just know she is my investment in my future quality of life.