I am a girl from Ukraine. After reading the posts (about Ukrainian women) of different people on the forums, I got an idea that many of you don’t understand us. Well … not all Ukrainian men can understand us … I will tell you even more … Not always can we understand ourselves:)
I’ve created a blog http://ukrwom.wordpress.com/. If you are interested, you can follow it.
The posts, you will find there, are not about me or any particular person. I just like to analyze and to think, why we act exactly this way. There are certain aspects of our history and culture, which make us think and act in a specific manner.
Maybe my posts will help someone.
By the way, there is a section “Why?What?When?”, where you can suggest me topics, you are interested in.
WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT! Don’t create stereotypes, don’t listen to other men, who have already tried to communicate with one women, this experience was not successful and now they say, “All Ukrainian girls want only money/ are interested only in jewelry/ are stupid/ are prostitutes and so on”.
There are a lot of men in this forum who think that all Ukrainian women are made in the same factory, with the same specification, somewhere in central Ukraine.
Keep writing, please, and invite other Ukrainian womwn to write on it.
Suggested topic of interest to us: how do you really see Ukrainian men in relation to Western men?
My lady friend has told me that she does not believe that all Ukrainian men are drunks who treat their women badly, despite the fact that she is divorced from a Ukrainian man. She says she is sure there are good and bad men everywhere, including the UK. She tells me she is happy to consider me as a potential husband not because I am a Westerner but because of myself. She told me she could end up with a Ukrainian man again (I hope not!)
its not that many don't understand Ukrainian woman, they just don't understand woman period.
its that guy girl thing with a whole lot of different bits that make us up into two different beings.
some males will never get it.
end of the day when two people get together its about if you are a true match or not.
it has nothing to do with nationality.
many males that go to Ukraine are outcast in a sense or are on the other end of the scale, just dam fussy.
I totally agree with your statement that some men can't understand women and it doesn't depend on a nationality. I was trying to convey the same idea in the text on my welcome page " I got an idea that many of you don’t understand us. Well … not all Ukrainian men can understand us … I will tell you even more … Not always can we understand ourselves:)"
So sometimes I will touch upon the points, which are common for women of any nationality.
"end of the day when two people get together its about if you are a true match or not.
it has nothing to do with nationality.
many males that go to Ukraine are outcast in a sense or are on the other end of the scale, just dam fussy. "
Well said Kiwi...
To Ukrainian woman...
But I said this before going to a strange land to look for a long term relationship is suicidal; however, we (men) heading east to find a woman " out my league" for a committed relationship is "fair game"..,your pick!
But stop the game of sending/receiving letters and get serious with thevvideo chatting ( westerners are either labouring or on-business )..your pick!
Ok Ukrainian Woman I think you have something interesting going here. My wife has been in Canada now for a year. She is my great friend and lover. This last year has been a eye opener for us both. But we seem to get stronger every day. My wife could also speak English fluently. Interesting enough for the first couple of months she would get upset, sometimes when I would say something it took me awhile to figure out what was going on. Then I realized when she listened she would still listen in Russian in her mind. So even though she spoke English well her mind still thought in Russian, So I learned to explain things slowly. My point is there is much more to learn then just understanding Ukraine women. Marriage is a big commitment it is a lot of work, and has great great rewards, for those that are willing to learn. So I hope you will open the eyes of these women as well. After all this is a 2 way street.
“So I hope you will open the eyes of these women as well. After all this is a 2 way street.”
You are absolutely right about that Steve,,,, but the girls, agencies, websites, and locals won’t have anything to do with it!!
They NEED the men to be at fault for everything,,,, otherwise it could be the girl’s fault,,,, and that can’t ever happen!
You (we men) need to buy more things,,,, then there will be good understanding!! Lol
I did buy small gifts for the first date,,,, and was asked by interps to buy more! I even had an interp ask me to buy her things.
The agencies are so worried that they are not getting their cut,,,,, and if they feel shorted,,,, the girl goes bye bye. If, (if) I ever go back,,, and some how use an agency,,,, I just might hand them a few hundred dollars and say: I’ll call you if I need you! Basically saying; fuxk off.
Concerning the agencies and girls... Unfortunately there are already "rules" and certain behavioural models for the girls from the agencies.
Most of the girls have never been abroad and have never talked to any foreigner before coming to the agency. There she hears a lot of stories from other girls about easy money, presents etc and they start thinking that it's normal, this is the way it has to be. Somehow many girls from the agencies got an idea that all men from other countries are extremely rich and they will come in order to buy her presents and to go to the most expencive restaurants. Most of the girls don't behave this way with Ukrainian men.
I used to work as an interpreter and I had an opportunity to observe different women. Some of them wanted more and more presents, but there were also girls, who were extremely shy, when they got even flowers (then I could see different variants of continuation: either men considered such girls too shy and lacking some crazy behaviour, or these girls got used to presents, talked to "expirienced" ones, who gave them advice to ask for money and so on). I've seen girls, who were sincere, didn't ask for anything and the men, with whom they met, didn't believe them, they were always trying to check, if she told the truth. In the end such girls quit the agencies, meet good Ukrainian guys (believe me, they do exist!), marry them and live happily.
This is a problem of the agencies. They have already become a society with its own rules. In my blog I am trying to persuade you that not all women are the same, but still you have to know some details, which you may consider of minor importance, but that's what girls will pay attention to, when they meet you for the first time.
hell you made me laugh Steve,,,, "I learnt to explain things slowly"
i clean forgot about this..
that is possibly the biggest one to take in with these girls.
dont get frustrated with this, it will happen a lot and i mean a lot.
if this is something that a guy has a problem in doing, honestly dont go to Russia Ukraine to find a mate.
we dont live in the perfect world and communication always is the most crucial element in relationships,,, even with good communication what steve has mentioned i think will still come about.
we all like to figure out our probs independently, woman are no different,,, watch for what Steve has mentioned,, that is a very real occurrence..
A lot of the fault for the wrong image of the Ukrainian woman, in the eyes of Western men, is laid at the feet of unscrupulous marriage agencies and the Western media which tries to make looking for a foreign wife like game of retired Western men looking for 20 year old models in the FSU. The Western women love these stories.
The bad agencies:
They only put photos of the girls which are studio glamour or sexy shots. No photos of girls at home watching TV on the sofa.
- They give them stupid names and slogans: LusciousVika "I am a tiger looking for my lion"
- They have totally superficial and/or false descriptions of who they are and what they are looking for: "A generous man with strong family values to have babies with"
- They send you letters written by some bloke having you believe that all they want from you is love and more love.
- The agency asks for money in fees or on behalf of the girls making them look like money grabbers
If you really meet the genuine ones of these girls, out of the watchful eye of the agency, you realise that they are something like ordinary office workers who talk about their mothers and the like and who do not bother to dress up, like for their profile photo shoot, when they meet you in person or talk to you in Skype.
Thanks for the latest feed-back. I believe that 'good girls' with great looks and intelligent do not have to put up with stupid paranoid Western men who constantly supsect them of everything. Then you say that the girls get disappointed and they end up marrying a good Ukrainian guy. Contrary to the Western men's belief, there ARE men over there who can afford to spoil their girls with presents and nice meals in restaurants as well as not being wife beating drunkards.
What you are saying sounds exactly like what my girl tells me. I am even worried that I am talking to her here without us knowing about it ;-)
As I have said before, my lady friend tells me that Ukrainian men have treated her well, they take her out, drive them in a nice car, etc. She could well end up married to a Ukrainian man again but she is open to a Western man like me. She has also told me that she has been using the dating site where I met her less and less as she does not see that there are many ordinary men who want to treat her well (but not necessarily spoil her with presents). She sees time wasters, paranoids, bitter men against women, etc. I only just caught her in the dating site where she gave me her private contact details.
OK Ukrainian Woman I think your blog is on the right track. But the saying goes All roads are paved with good intentions. I think you should open your blog to the woman to. So they know what they are getting into. I do not know if you are doing this because you see a problem or you think this may open you to a business venture.
Either way, both teams have to play ball together. And to get a relationship working takes a lot of work. It was hard for my wife to move and come to another country there is many many adjustments. I have developed patience and understanding like I have never had before. There is a lot more then just understanding a persons culture. Most important is change and there will be a lot of it. Me I went there looking because of the womans culture, its much different then North America. I Think even thou most of us came from a European background we have lost things here. Me I want it back. There is good points and bad to all. It comes down to having a path both can work on. And personally I have a very poor opinion of Ukraine Marriage agencies, and what they represent. Maybe you can help the good ones before they are destroyed by these agencies. Anyway if I wasn't interested in what you say I would not write. Have a couple more thoughts on the matter. But I think this is good enough for now . You know I love my wife. everyday through each challenge my love for her get stronger and deeper and it all comes from hard work.
For most agency-girls reading a blog like mine, won't bring anything. When they are already "spoiled" and if they think that they WORK in the agency "as a girl", I won't be able to change their minds.
I hope that there will be changes in my country and more people (especially young), will have an opportunity to travel abroad and to see, how everything functions there.
Ukrainians have a lot of stereotypes and are rather intolerant.
Many Ukrainians cannot understand, how it can be that people, who earn 5, 10, 20 times more than they do, wear some ordinary shirt and sneakers, why they don't want to take a taxi, why they like to go by bicycle and so on.
I don't know, if you have seen the photos of the house of Yanukovich and Pshonka, but many Ukrainians think that it's normal, when rich people have huge houses full of gold, 20 cars, several airplanes etc. And they are sure that all foreigners are rich and live the same way as our ex-President did...
I am going to have ask you what you mean by:
"I Think even thou most of us came from a European background we have lost things here. Me I want it back"
As my understanding is that the native people were once who most of the people (or all) were in Canada. I wonder if there are native Canadians who say they want it back too.
On other things, I will say definitely yes, the job to bring a FSU woman to the West is only done in a small part from going to look for a wife until you marry her and take her to your country. The real hard work, and commitment, come in the years when you have to help her make a good life for herself in your country.
This is the kind of nasty Western bugger decent FSU girls have to put up with:
A girl has just given me this conversation she had with this idiot:
14 Май 2014 г. 9:51
i will never come to Ukraina, u can forget it but if u do want to know each other for fair love/real love, so i need to know first:
1. do you have webcam and time to chat almost everyday?
2. IF we will decide to meet each other in real life after few months and i will pay for your visa and plying ticket, are you will come to New Zealand ?
Alon 14 Май 2014 г. 9:53 Перевести Сообщить о злоупотребл 077;нии
I have not webcam )
14 Май 2014 г. 9:56
so you are not real
Alon 14 Май 2014 г. 10:29 Перевести Сообщить о злоупотребл 077;нии
Im a real. If I cant buy webcam it is no reason to consider me fake
But anyway it is ur own buisness to think in such a way
14 Май 2014 г. 10:41
you are prostitute, you are not real girl.
The men who go to Ukraine looking for a wife then fly home alone and broke without money.
Alon 14 Май 2014 г. 10:58 Перевести Сообщено!
If I have not webcam I'm a prostitute?
Ok. I know who I am
Don't write me anymore
14 Май 2014 г. 11:03
no, who dont have webcam ON dating website = don't look for love-no serious person. which mean he/she without webcam looking for something else and in your case like a lot of fake girl in here .. looking for money=prostitute
Alon 14 Май 2014 г. 11:11 Перевести Сообщить о злоупотребл 077;нии
No w for the worst part, this is a 19 year old girl who is a student of languages and she registered in the site clearly saying that she was only looking for pen pals. She told me she really wants to practice her English with Western men but if a relationship develops from a pen pal, then she will consider it.
She got so intimidated by a number of idiots telling her she was a fake money grabber that she sent her ID document to the site administrators to get a badge of verified ID, when she did not even have to as she does not make any promises of a relationship.
And more: she quite happily connected with me in Facebook and Skype. So there, it is a matter of approach by the men.
Wifeseeker, I just write short blurbs. I am not going to write the world history, besides no one would read it. I know lots of First nation people, They say we have f****d the land so bad,it's our problem now. And you know they are probably right. And you know if you turn on the history channel, Someone will probably be trying to prove NA Indians immigrated across Russia Alaska land bridge way back when. So Just for now I will stick to history we read in books. So for you I will try to clarify the best I can. The first settlers were mostly European descent. Is where my roots came from and many others. In North America a person walking down the street it starts to rain that person turns up his collar puts his head down and mumbles through the down pour as his pace picks up. In European countries its starts to rain, people look for brief shelter, they chat to each other, maybe have a coffee well they wait for rain to slow or stop. We in North America in race of the mighty dollar. have forgot the little simple things that make each day a little better. We don't appreciate what we have, Even if its not worn out we toss things because we need better. Anyway case and point we both speak and read and think in English. And yet you have had a problem understanding me. So I try to explain maybe I have done better this time. Will not know till I read your thoughts. Close your eyes and try to imagine, You have just wrote a letter to a Russian woman, She now translates it on translator program. And as good as technology is, its got a long way to go. Translator interprets English to Russian literally The meaning of your words gets lost. She maybe sees something bad, You don't know what you have said to her, She is gone. Communication is so important isn't it.
Ukrainian Woman It is a long road, I think we all hope for what you hope to accomplish. Just remember the more money you make the more things cost. I hope your venture turns out well. You have to find more people that hold to your ideas. Think the big trick is getting by the agencies
I would appreciate some advice. The girl I will be visiting is in the shy, never met a foreigner before, never asks for anything category among the ones that you mentioned above.
I would like to know what gift is appropriate for first visit. I enjoy giving gifts to women and I'm very serious about this one, I may propose to her. I just don't know what gift is appropriate at this point in time. She's slim, but I wouldn't dare guessing her exact dimensions for clothes or shoes and going wrong on this can be embarrassing. It's too early for jewelry, or is it? I do not by any means want to give her something cheap or simply symbolic. I have sent her flowers twice already, and flowers is not a gift in my mind. I am thinking a designer (Italian) handbag. What is your view? do girls there know/like Prada, Gucci, etc.?
When we see each other on video calls, she is dressed tastefully but simply and in most of her pictures, she is also dressed the same way (except one in an evening dress). I do not want to give her something too presumptuous that might make her uncomfortable.
Also, I also want to bring a gift for her female relative (very young) who has helped with translation and will help again. What kind of gift is appropriate?
Thanks in advance for your feedback and for taking the time to educate people. You're very kind!