It is up to the individual whether she is serious or not. You cannot generalise. However, young girls do not normally approach older men so the likelyhood is that they are scammers. The only way that you can approach a young girl with some certainty that she is not a scammer, time waster or gold digger is if you approach the girls yourself, but only the ones that say they are prepared to consider an older man.
The problem with FSU girls that young is that, even though some may be serious, they do not have enough experience to throw themselves into the arms of a foreign man and go to live abroad. Many of them are OK as lovers or wives of older men in their own country. It's too difficult to get involved with, marry and bring to your country a girl that young.
I have a friend in the dating site I have used, she is 19 and a University student. I am much older. She is quite happy to talk to me as a pen pal but there is not talk of romance.
It all depends what you mean by young. I'm about your age and from this site found and married the woman of my dreams...well not exactly. I could never have dreamed of a woman like her. She was 34. Is not a hard thing to do but some people here make it much harder than it should be.
A little story about my involvement with a young girl:
Some years ago, I met online a really nice girl, she was about 20. She lived in central Russia and we arranged to meet in Moscow. She was obviously not a scammer as she paid herself for her transport and accommodation in Moscow and did not ask me for any money. Once we were in Moscow, she did not ask me to buy here anything and agreed to go to all the places I chose.
We had a great time. I started feeling love for her and we agreed that, on returning to our respective homes, we would continue to develop the relationship. So we continued to communicate for a while and then her letters stopped (this was before communications by Internet). The only thing is she had forgotten to tell her parents that she went to meet an older foreign man in Moscow and that she had been looking for a foreign man. Her parents got furious and told her that they forbade her to speak to or see me again. She protested and they sent her to live with her granny in the middle of nowhere, where I did not know the address, there was no telephone or anything.
I kept sending letters for months asking her what had happened to her, Her parents must have intercepted the letters but finally I got a letter from her telling me what had happened. She told me that she loved her parents and had decided to obey them. I was heartbroken.
Since then, I asked every single girl I met online if she had already told her parents (or mother) she was looking for a man abroad and that she was talking to older men and, if so, what her parents had to say about it. All the older girls have told me that whether they had told their perents or not about me, it was the girl's decision whether she wanted to marry a foreign man and go to live abroad and that her parents had to accept it.
After having received lots of letters from young Ukraina women, I feel that it is difficult to trust any of them.
They all wish to leave their country and dont care if I'm 15 or 55.
And lots of romance talk after just 2 or 3 letters...hm.
I actually feel I have lost interest in them, as they seem more interested in my country rather than me as a person...
If I was desperate and couldnīt find girlfriends in my own country, then I would feel different about their letters, but I am 55, have children, and not interested in some "save an Ukrainian woman" project.
Your mistake is that you have enrolled in an agency (I do not know which one) where they send you the letters 'on behalf' of the girls. I told you that the only chance of finding a girl, young too, who is serious is if you approach them in an reputable agency. Even like this it is difficult to convince genuine young girls to be interested in you, but not impossible. Different people tell you different lower age limits for the girls you should talk to. My criteria is: under 25, none. 25-30, yes if they have already been married or have children or have a good University education, speak English and/or have a good job or if they show real maturity in your conversations. 30-40: avoid the girls who tell you they want to travel the world, who take photos of themselves in a limo, etc. A spoilt 39 year old good time girl is worse than an experienced and mature 27 year old.
I have noticed that many older women between 35 and 45 can be very demanding of the money they expect the man to have, his age and other things. I think some women of around 35-40 have already been dumped by a wealthy Ukrainian or Arab man, for a younger model of 23, and they want to find another man in the West to give them the same lifestyle. I wonder why there are so many girls in dating sites, who are based in Dubai.
And accept the reality: the majority of women, from 19 to 79, want a Western man to take them to the West, but that does not mean that you cannot find one that will love you too. It is a deal, I'm afraid.
WS,,, about your ex-girl and her parents,,,, although I have never had this happen,, I read something similar on the forum years ago,, and your girl was most likely with another man at that time.
Sometimes the fantastic stories are just a cover story and not truth! Have you considered that thought?
I agree on your explaining of girl's age. My young colleagues easily met other young girls upon landing in Ukraine. Never heard of any of them coming back for those party girls as I did.
" I wonder why there are so many girls in dating sites, who are based in Dubai. "
According a documentary I saw -1 sex trafficking. - 2 prostitution is a growing business when there is 4 to 1 girl. - 3 who wants to live on a scorching hot sand storming place?
That is likely to be right: I never contacted the girls in Dubai because they are likely to be:
1- A prostitute (I already know about one through a Ukrainian friend)
2- A woman who has already been dumped by a rich Arab, for a younger model, and she is looking for another bloke to give her the same lavish lifestyle the Arab used to give her, like I said above
I have a very narrow age criteria: many girls are too young and many of the older ones put photos of themselves wearing fur coats, on a yatch, in a posh room and say they want a 'generous' not 'greedy' (greedy there means tight fisted) man who will lavish them with attention and travel. I am talking about non-scammers.
I would be very wary of girls half my age giving me the come-on. I mean really, even if they did like me what on earth would we have in common. Things would get pretty boring after the woo woo dies down ha ha.
There are a few large age difference marriages that involved people in show business. Tony Randall (known for the "Odd Couple" role) was married to his first wife for over 50 years before she died. He then married someone who he met while working in a play who was 50 years younger than him (he was 75 and she was 25 at the time). They had two children (he had none from his first marriage) before he died later after an operation. They were both stage performers so I guess they shared that common interest. For others, the generational difference could become more of a barrier.
While a young girl may sound incredible for a late 40s-early 50s guy, the reality can be more trouble than its worth. First, if you bring her to your western country, the negativity from others will come from anywhere. Everything will have her interest. If there is no common interests and natural chemistry (which is rare for any realistic length of time)then you wont last 2 years and she is making a domestic expedited PS for any reason she think might fly. Better off living in her country if you want any 50-50 chance of success.
I've been on these sites for quite a while. Overall, I don't thing young girls are serious about much older men. Their lack of maturity shows
up quickly in their letters. I have a young girl pen pal in Crimea. She and I are about 35 years apart in age. We both long ago agreed just to be friends. She's great. Of all the women I've ever met on the internet, she's the best one in just about every way. I wish I was younger or she was older, but I'm still happy just to have her as a friend.
Same here, I have friends in my dating site and FB who are as young as 19. They are great but there is no talk of romance. I leave that for the girls 25+.
Sometimes I feel frustrated that I can chat more easily and get one well better with the younger girls and I wonder why the older ones cannot be like that. I imagine it is partly because there is no pressure of appearing nice and clever on our parts when there is no seriosu talk of a relationship.
With the younger age group, their focus may not be directed at "settling down" given some are still studying. When I just graduated from college, getting married and having children was not a primary goal of mine (unlike the many teens who became mothers and fathers at an early age). People in different age groups have different priorities. Of course, there are exceptions and you can have a serious young adult and an immature senior citizen.
Sometimes I feel for young girls who are in real trouble. I was approached by this 20 year old who got married at 17, had on e child, then the husband dumped her whe she was pregnant with the second child. Now she is a single mother with two kids and lives in abject poverty. I have seen her place through the webcam and it is really awful. She has no fun at 20, when other girls of her age are out in clubs and bars. All she does is to look after the children. I have not asked her where her money comes from. I hear coughing in another room and her boy has a chest infection. I think they do not get medicines for children for free in Ukraine.
She asked me if I wanted to be friends but I know she wants me to get her out of there. She puts on her best rags when she speaks to me in the webcam as if she was going out for the evening. She is so sweet and pretty and we have had pleasant conversations in Skype despite the fact that she does not speak English, we just show each other our kids and type. I do not have such nice conversations with older women.
I hope she will find another man who will treat her well just the way she is dedicated to her children. She lacks education and I doubt she will be able to make it on her own. If there are younger guys here who would want to take care of her, I can pass you her contact details.