Hi IBM. Im not going to be harsh with you like the others because, unlike them, I know it is very possible to be 50 with a 20 something girl.
Now, having said that, it comes with several caveats.
The vast majority of these types of relationships fail and fail quickly leaving you in a depressed heap if you have unrealistic expectations.
I know of a few couples near me with age differences up to 30 years. Even now Im messing around with a 30 year age difference with an American girl.
Im certain its a summer fling but I knew that reality going into it and have no fairy tale expectations.
The very first fact you must face is that western society is going to bash you, ridicule you and basically go on a campaign to make your life miserable if you at 50 years old bring home a 19 year old foreign girl. They will call you names like cradle robber, pedophile, etc. especially in the US and UK
If you persist in the pursuit of a young girl you must really ask yourself some of the questions the group has asked above.
1. what do you look like? are you fit or fat? do you live an active or sedentary lifestyle? would you date you?
2. what do YOU like to do for fun? are these things that a 19 or 23 year old girl will also think is fun? same with music.
I still like playing video games with her, going out to the mall, eating McDonalds and going to the clubs once in awhile. These girls
are always wanting to do stuff.
3. are you willing to move to her country or at the very least spend 6+ months a year in her country? these large age differences
are increasingly common in eastern europe and central america and have a much higher success rate in HER country.
4. can you afford this lifestyle? lets face reality here, one of the biggest reasons she will be with you with such a large age
difference is because we are generally much more capable of taking good care of her than her peer group. Moya and I know a 53 year old guy
with a 19 year old girl in odesa but he does give her lots more than her peers would be able to provide.
Moya knows my 22 year old "girlfriend" of 5 years now and that she has expensive desires at times (a big and little laptop, flat screen tv, iphone, spending money....) Im not saying that girls in these types of relationships are in them strictly for the money but lets face facts, money makes life easier.
5. can you deal with the fact that you will almost certainly need to strike an appropriate balance of being her lover and a father figure?
Unfortunately, to be successful you will need to abandon many western ideas of how you treat a girl. Girls at this age (in Ukraine and central america, Philippines etc)still need a certain level of discipline. You cant be afraid to be a mentor and disciplinarian while being her lover at the same time or else she will run all over you and take advantage of you but at the same time, too much will run her off and you must be willing to take that risk.
6. lastly, you cannot be selfish. As guys we want a beautiful young sex goddess but not planning for the future, whether a good or bad outcome,
can ruin a young girl's life. You must be man enough to think about her future and what will happen when you are no longer there (whether by death, divorce or whatever) A real man will insure his young girl still gets a proper education and will help her establish her own career and help her be able to be independent and able to live on her own. You must be willing to take the risk that she will be with you out of love and respect or that she decides she just cant do it.
the harsh reality is that the older and more mature the girl, the better the chances of making it to "happily ever after" look at your own parents and grandparents. when you are 70, she will be 40. Im my case, at 70+ my dad is in far better health and very active than most 60 year olds.
one more thing. dont just plan on coming in 6 months or a year. JUST DO IT! Take the plunge and come experience Eastern Europe, especially Ukraine. I love my country and can handle life in Ukraine just as easy as the USA. It is a great lifestyle. Housing is cheap as is food. Most people are good and government corruption works to your advantage, haha. Enjoy it now before the EU ruins life in Ukraine as we know it now.
WS – from what I can surmise you're in your 50s, divorced with kids, not financially secure. That's why you freaked out when the girl in Crimea put something in your shopping cart. Understandably she dumped you shortly thereafter.
Not only are you not financially secure, you're cheap. You whinged when you paid £25 for a meal for 3 because you simultaneously had to pay the interpreter. As though the interpreter's meal was enough payment for interpreting for you and your "date". (You felt a "free meal" was sufficient compensation her time and effort.)
So the only thing you have to offer these women is possible UK immigration. Not even sure if you can do that as the UK government does set financial minimums that you may not qualify for.
You've lived together with women from the FSU for a month or less under the guise of seeing whether or not you get on together. This is a form of sex tourism.
You're hypocritical and maniacal.
I would say good luck with your next "conquest" but hope for much better for FSU women. They deserve so much more than you have to offer.
My dating site asks the girls to say, in their questionnaire, if they are willing to go to live abroad. Virtually all the ones that say they want a husband say they are prepared to leave their country, from the 18 to the 70 year olds. The only ones who say they want to stay are the ones just looking for a date.
There is no correlation, whatsoever, in women being any less interested in being taken to the West (or abroad to Turkey, etc) as they are older.
I have NEVER seen a profile of a woman saying: I want a Western man to marry me and come to live here with me.
All the girls who are not interested in leaving their country and who are looking for a husband are in the dating sites for people for their own country.
kiwinorth....the British belly, I did wonder if you were talking about the women over here ))) I'll ask them and let you know what they drink....It may involve 36 hour benders, you up for it!!!!!............the learning curve continues....narrowed down the sites to maybe two or three max. This one and two free ones......Can I presume if they wont speak on skype they are a scammer then? She claims she cannot get Skype her computer skills not great.....Well mine aren't but I managed to download it.....kiwinorth, i had actually thought about everything you said, partying, young friends etc etc....except the young neighbour!!!....thanks for your advice re last message, I'm obviously a target for one of the youngsters on here......she has been honest though, hates her city and wants out of her country... fair enough.
If you measure how financially secured one is by how tight fisted one is, then you must live in a dump.
You are the hypocrite always contradicting yourself. You spend your time here preaching to men not to spend a penny on the girls, then you insist on bringing back the matter about me whingeing about a bill, for an interpreter, in a restaurant. I was already paying the interpeter separately. Any interpreting agency or individual will tell you that you do not have the obligation to also pay for their meals.
Again, your only defence is to speculate about me. The Crimean girl did not dump me. What would you have done? gone against your principles and spending a lot on the girl so that she would not dump you? I will tell you what you would have done: offer her money for sex.
I have said here, before, that my relationship with the Crimean girl did not develop as she does not want to learn English, she made me suspect about her interpreter and I became convinced that she would not be happy in the West with her pro-Russian stance.
Keep speculating if you think you will look less foolish by saying that I have been living with FSU women and not local women. I will tell you what, I will give you the email addresses of the women from abroad who have come to live with me. You write to them and tell them they are sex tourists for travelling to come here and have sex with me :-D
I am a bit confused about your advice for IBM. You seem to be saying that he needs to treat a young girl (17 to 24?) like a spoilt daughter of a wealthy man? buying her mobile phones, etc? Well in my case, in a few years time I will have that problem with my own daughters, so that would not be for me, but maybe a guy with money will be happy with that.
I have spoken to a couple of girls that have told me that they are looking for someone like their father or the father they never had. That seems to happen in the West too. But I do not know about that.
Did you say you have had a 22 year old girlfriend for 5 years so you met her when she was 17???
I have said it before: I do not care a fig (and will talk about my chosen lady to do the same) what people say about our relationship. We will live for each other, not for a nosey neighbour.
Talking about my daughters, a point that is seldom raised here is what your own children have got the right to opine about the girl you want. I say they have got the right to be consulted and I do. My 10 year old daughter has got strong views about the matter, for instance: she does not want the older ones as they look too old (for her) and the very young ones probably look like competition for her. She most definitely does not want a woman who looks like her own mother. I will have a very big problem if I marry a woman with a child as my daughters, especially the 10 year old, will see the child as an invader and can be very hostile to him/her. I had to end my conversations with a lady who had a 10 year old boy as I saw an enormous problem coming with a boy who never had a father and my 10 year old daughter.
The matter of how a younger girl will live here has become so important in my mutual investigation of a relationship with the FSU girls I talk to, that I have been developing a full and thorough plan for that, in my mind, and I discuss it with the girls. It involves what can happen with time and even intimacy sometimes. So much so that, with some girls, we say it is not going to work for her and we end the link. It is better to discuss this fully from the beginning.
Your point 6: As you say, men have to own up to the fact that they will be gone well before her so there has to be a plan for that, depending on his and her circumstances.
I know an FSU woman who married an older man here and she has been here for 12 years. Her English is absolutely awful and she has never done a days work in her time here. She only stays at home, she does not study English or anything else. The man is not rich. She is not attractive already, let alone in 20 years time. They have a little daughter. What is that woman going to do when he is gone?
My plan is: as I am not rich, I am looking for a woman who says to me: I want to have a career in the UK and that is going to be the best arrangement for me, my children and her and our/her children. Better be honest about it. Or if she is is still attractive then I hope she finds another man.
TomZ: have you read this carefully, for your next posting? :-D
WS - who said I've been trying 20 years and failing? I said I've been travelling to the FSU over the last 20 years and succeeding in what I want to do. I've been married but my personal life is none of your business.
You're the failure. Every girl you've ever met has eventually rejected you.
My current girlfriend and I are very serious now and are talking of marriage and children, as well as immigration to my country, but again this is none of your business.
WS,, most who i dated didnt really do much of that in the former FSU, well i felt they didnt.
maybe they were the average looking girl who wasnt sort after, who knows?
what i do know there is 18-19 million more woman then guys over there so my thinking is some actually would want to grow old with someone no matter where one is from yes,,, well at least 10 million of them maybe.
the trouble is what is the actual truth behind these girls on these dating sites in what they actually seek you are specifying to have them living abroad.
is it a mans wallet, Maserati in the garage, holiday home in Croatia?
of cause they are on whatever site but the question is how many are just fishing for "wealth" to equal their looks.
most i talked to in general over there didnt want to leave,,, i'm not speaking of people from international dating sites,,, more the average typical normal FSU person which to me has more substance then some advertised writings.
i just dont like those sites as you can see..
really Rick sews it up pretty good, better then i could explain it...
IBM,, 36 hour benders)) i'm to bloody old for that,, more a 6 hour at the most now..
basically my thinking is, is she really interested or not, one just cannot presume shes a something because shes not towing the line on one particular thing.
i have fallen into that category on skype, as for me having the excuse of,,, i just cannot use it,,,, "i run on mobile internet at my home only, which is as far as i know the most expensive in the world,,,, kiwis have mugs written on their foreheads when it comes to our telecommunications period in this country..
but anyway they pack a sad when ones honest on that one, how many have deleted me because, maybe they think i'm a cheap f**k) definitely not for me and my hatred of our telecom company here..
its not impossible finding younger girls, i am still very close to one girl i met, shes married to a russian now,, our problem at the time was, she was just to young mindfully,,, what i mean is, if things are to happen it will happen and shouldnt be forced,,, they have a perception how it should be, and how quickly things should happen or be..
WS - looks like you have a good gig going there. Invite them to your country to live with you a month under the guise of "I want to get married". After a few weeks of using them for sex and whatever else, you tire of them and ask them to leave. Very convenient.
So FSU women get a free month of living in the UK in exchange for sex.
You cant pretend to get a 25 years girl if you are in your 50's. No matter what you read or listen from these girls or the agencies who promote them.
Eastern Europe girls date guys 5 to 8 years older, no more...
I've been there, it took me only one visit and one relationship in Ukraine to understand that most in that country related to find a love is basically a lie. I was 31 and she was 23, I meet the family, friends, we traveled together, etc, and finally I discovered she has a 24 years old ukrainian boyfriend as well as "all" good looking girls you see being promoted in all these websites.
Now I'm 33 and I have a local girlfriend, we meet in salsa dance lessons and right now we are living together. She is 26 and is very sweet.
Like I tell to all my friends, if you want to get a girl you must go and get involved in activities interesting for girls, eventually you will get a reliable partner. You don't need to go overseas, because no matter what you believe about them, they eventually will find the way to drop you when they find a better wallet.
You can ask here, there are guys who spent already 10 years of their lives looking there... they could use that time, money and energy with a local girl, but they insist to believe these stupids myths of girls abused by russians and ukrainians who drink too mucho... that's pure bullshit.
“Most people are good and government corruption works to your advantage, haha. Enjoy it now before the EU ruins life in Ukraine as we know it now.”
Rick,,, can you elaborate on that a little more??
How can government corruption help? Are you saying that the protesters of Maiden had it all wrong??
How will the EU ruin life in Ukraine?
What are you doing in Ukraine, that you must operate outside of the law?
Of course most FSU girls find their match in their own country and do not want to emigrate. This applies to girls who meet a foreigner who lives there, or at least is going to be there for a good while because of his job. My experience relates to people like me who simply cannot go and live there not even for 1 month. For us, there are only the datings sites with women who have already made the decision that they want to marry a foreigner and go to live in his country. It is a deal that suits lots of men like me.
Like I have said before, I have a lot of female FSU friends in Facebook. We get on well but there is no talk of romance, they are simply not interested and that is not the reason they make friends with a foreigner like me.
I can already tell you many reasons they have given me for wanting a foreign man and live abroad. It does not matter if they are right, that is their perception and that is it:
-cheat on them
-treat them badly
-drink in excess, smoke and don't look after their bodies
-dump them when they meet a 19 year old who says yes to them
- beat them up
-are lazy, dont't work
-don't make money and expect them to work as well as looking after the kids
-There is no equality for women over there
-There is always a threat of financial disaster in the country
-Now there is a war
-Western men are corteous, faithful, caring, etc.
-There atre many pretty places in the West: London, Paris, etc
-They have much better prospects for a decent job in the West
-Older men are better in the West
-No safety for women in their country, corruption, crime...
Whether they are being honest or not, they have NEVER told me:
-I could have a nice car there
-Houses are big there
-Men earn good money there
-I would not have to work
-There are a lot of nice things to buy there
-Lots of fashionable clothes to buy
-Lots of holiday
(I do not talk to the ones who write on their profile things like: I want a generous not greedy man, I want to travel and see the world, I love big houses with large windows, etc. anyhow)
Wow, I have been bringing several of these FSU women to stay with me for 1 month each. With the exhorbitant costs of getting them the visas, air tickets, tours, courses so that they let them stay here, added to the expensive girls who want to be taken to fancy restaurants, being bought clothes, mobile phones, etc. in return for the sex, I have to be wealthy! Thanks a lor for telling me, I did not know I was :-D
Or the alternative, to suit your argument is: I have no money, they pay for everything for the privilege of coming all the way to have sex with a pretty man like me.