Hello everybody, I've had an experience recently that I've had trouble coming to grips with. I'm a 48 yo male living in Toronto, and for the last 3 months have been chatting with a 23 yo in Odessa. Almost every night we've been chatting and had agreed that we share a lot of chemistry and that things were going well. The other day, literally out of nowhere, a message popped up on the website that she had left the site. I've emailed her without an answer and am left scratching my head.
The worst case scenario: there are at least a few in her portfolio of men like you. One possibility? One of them beat you too it and visited her. That is the key for many of these women. Many chat and don't visit (one out of twenty was the stat I saw) You will beat 95% of everyone if you visit.
What did you do wrong?
You are taking it too seriously. You have not even met her yet. There are many of them. Find another one.
One thing you should have done is separate the woman from her website. I assume that is an agency. Until you get her phone number, skype or email, where you can have one on one conversation, she belongs to a business. This must have cost you a lot.
Look for her on FB or vk. If you can't find her, try again in a few months... then a few months after that. She may show up.
It is the classic,,, you never had anything. It was only a picture and an email exchange. You have no idea who was writing to you. Take some time and read some advice on postings similar to yours in the archives.
I would agree with the other posters that it's important to get her off site and communicate with her directly, preferably via Skype w/video. That's the only way you can really know that you're talking to her.
The age difference is too much anyway. A 23 yr old is not going to want to be with a 48 yr old. It's way over my maximum which I told you before is a 15-20 yr age difference.
Most likely it was a scam generated by the site to get you to pay for chat and when you get serious about coming, she disappears. (No refunds on the money you spent on chatting with 'her'?)
For someone that's 48 I'd recommend you look at ladies not below 28, with preference to ladies in their 30s. Remember a smokin hot 23 year old has plenty of options and a 48 yr old is not one of them. It's just not in the cards so don't waste your time or money. BE REALISTIC!
I used to chat online every day and night when I first got online. I got very close to a few people. Eventually, they all disappeared, Some just vanished and was reported to be in a hospital. Some had someone "take over" their email account and then started sending profane laced messages. And others just stopped returning. This was with people here in the USA. I have seen profiles disappear from many dating sites. Not many people in Eastern Europe have computer access 24/7. Her access may have been cut off. She may have decided that online dating wasn't for her and met a local person. It is possible that the profile could have been a fake. But people are very fickle and since distance is a big factor here, it is hard to determine what actually happened to her.
I can only say in my case, the ladies who I met online through dating sites that later married, I still send them a Xmas greeting card every year. There is only one lady who I met in the chat room back in 1997 who still writes to me up to this day. That is how hard it is to maintain the communication for any long duration of time.
TomZ - Yes, I am stuck in the age of the mainframe warehouse era. I do not text, make selfies, watch TV online, wait in line to buy the new iPhone, use a DVR, use social media sites, tap into any wireless nodes all around the city, etc.
Some do tell me that they do not have a computer (actual desktop/tablet/laptop), but that may not apply to smaller mobile devices since that can substitute for a computer.
I guess as long as they are not in a very rural area of the planet, they should have access. The only caveat is that they can afford to purchase these type of devices.
You have done nothing wrong, they do it all the time. Many girls come and register in your site, talk to 100 men, tell a few that they love them, then one day they lose the interest and disappear without saying good-bye.
Don't worry about the age difference. A 21-23 year old will do the same to a 25 year old guy and 45 year old women do it too. It is nothing to do with age difference, it is people who are not serious about it.
I get girls who communicate with me by Skype, email, phone, etc and they do it anyway, they just disappear, it is nothing to do with the medium
While it may be possible for most FSU women to have some access to the internet, to say that almost all have 24/7 access is just wrong!
I know of several women that have a near zero online footprint.. Sure,,, they must have a friend with internet,,, but wouldnít it be imposing a little to use it 5 to 7 times a week??
Internet access is not available to everyone in this country. Go to the rural areas of this country. Even some of the inner city people do not have access. Given that the income in the FSU regions is not that high (except for the privileged few), you need money to pay for the device service (not unless you hang out in a wireless hotspot all hours of the day and night). People are definitely more wired than when I first got online, but to say that the majority of them are connected, may be stretching it a bit. When you have to deal with a budget to pay for living expenses, clothing, and food, non-essential items like a phone/computer ends up as a lower priority item.
I agree .... All have internet . An idiot would think otherwise .
And some pore loser crack whore who doesnt . And thats all that doesnt . Isnt worth chatting to anyway . So lets say 100 percent of good girls have internet and all looneys posible wives have no internet
LR - if they have a 3g/4g enabled smart phone and many do they can have internet on their phone for as cheap as $5 a month. Then there's all the free wifi hotspots such as at McDonalds. If they don't have it at home they have it at work or at a friend or relatives.
"wouldnít it be imposing a little to use it 5 to 7 times a week?? "
No, not at all. You don't understand FSU society.
Perhaps in America it would be imposing but not there.
TomZ,,,, The hell I donít understand FSU society,,, thatís exactly why I made that comment. Friendship only goes so far,,,,, after that, they need reimbursement. It might only be a favor thatís needed,,, but they don't give anyone a free ride.
Before you can use a PC at McDís you need to own a computer,,, and not all do!
Danny42/poopy/ and dozens of other names,,,, are you going off the deep end???
≠≠"According to the OECD, the United States has more than 77 million broadband subscribers [source: OECD]. The United States Census Bureau calculates the population of the country at more than 305 million people [source: U.S. Census Bureau]. China, on the other hand, has 83.4 million broadband subscribers and a population of more than 1.3 billion people [source: Internet World Stats]. If we just look at the number of subscribers, China is ahead of the United States. But, if we factor in the number of subscribers against the entire population, we get a completely different picture. The percentage of the population in the U.S. with a broadband subscription is 25 percent, but in China, it's 6.2 percent.
According to the OECD, the top 10 most wired countries are:
Each of these countries has at least 29 subscribers per 100 inhabitants -- Denmark has 37.2. In comparison, the United States has 25.8 subscribers for every 100 inhabitants. Despite this relatively small discrepancy, the United States ranks 15th on OECD's list. But the United States has more total subscribers than any other nation based on OECD surveys."
Economically deprived countries usually do not rank at the top with respect to having many people with internet access. Oddly, the lady who has kept writing to me since 1997 is in Denmark.
It seems to me many were generating revenue from letters and the agency wanted to be in on things when you visit. Many of them honestly don't want you to know their e mails before you get there and meet. Suggest to them they open a free e mail account just for you to use. If you decide not to meet, just abandon it.
I would have guess that was the case. I have gotten some some personal email address information, but nearly all of them ended up as a "translation fee scam" or a "business proposition scam". Of the very few that did not involve any financial matter, the lady hardly writes at all from the account. But, if you write to her via the agency, she writes back rather quickly.
I wonder if I sent a question to the dating sites about whether the lady gets any profit from the correspondence. What are the chances that they will say that the ladies get a commission?