Actually I wish I did live in the UK. It's a short haul flight Luton - Kiev. I was on a Wizzair flight recently and a Brit was telling me he paid only 85 quid for a round trip ticket. He was telling me it was going to cost him more on the train where he needed to go in the UK.
So WifeSeeker is without excuse in not going to see these women.
yes, the complexities of international dating!!! Why do you have to live with a girl before you get married?? You should be able to know after a period of time...... I am not speaking of the OWW, but after much dialogue( writing, phone, Skype) and some personal meetings....could be months or even 1-2 years, depending on the individuals(guy, girl)what they look for and how comfortable they are with each other.
What I don't understand is how one can criticize another for THEIR way of international dating....its their life, their money, their time. There are countless ways of finding happiness....there are many ways of approaching this endeavor...no right way or wrong way...only each individual way and what's makes them happy. I could disagree with ones choices and maybe make a suggestion( IF ASKED).... but that is far as it should go. The only one who knows more about an individual is themselves and hopefully they are honest with themselves as to what is realistic!!!
Much of the advice given by others is an attempt to prevent you from wasting your time and money. It is an attempt to help you from making a "fool of yourself" in the dating process. So all of the "wrong ways" are emphasized by others (which may have diverging viewpoints). Yes, some of it is suggestions, but some try to use a "pattern of failure argument" to stress their point.
There are many people who have unrealistic expectations and some die hard people who do not listen to any advice. I guess you could say they are honest with themselves even if you do agree with their actions.
I am amazed that suddenly there are people here who object to the idea of living with a girl for some time, to test the relationship when it is a proven formula, widely used, even in Catholic countries. Potential long term couples simply have to see how the other looks in the morning, whether they can put up with their farting in bed, etc. The romantic dinners in restaurants, walking hand in hand in the park and kissing in the car simply do not represent a relationship, even less TomZ's virtual girlfriends living thousands of miles away.
In my view, the opportunity to live together, before committing to marriage is the whole idea behind the fiancee visa. I guess that governments see it as a chance of getting rid of immigrants when the 'fiancee period' of living together does not lead to marriage.
Well beamer, you yourself are criticising people who want to get married....Lucky people like me who see in the dating website hundreds of girls who say they want to marry and have a family as opposed to the Western attitude of women in dating site (many of which are married or have boyfriends) simply looking for some fun.
Maybe you just have to accept that finding a wife in the FSU is a bloody difficult thing to do. Either you are prepared to put a lot of work on it and be patient or you will be constantly frustrated by the seemingly endless process to achieve your goal.
I know the frustration in the monthly pay sites. There are lots of girls (among the non-scammers) who are not serious and just register when they are bored at home or maybe because they want lots of men giving attention to them. It is a good thing they do not profess their love but some of them should 'profess' a real interest to know you better so that you are encouraged to go and see them. I have been asked by loads of girls when I am going to Ukraine and my reply is always: "when a girl convinces me that she has a genuine interest in me"
Well what is the point of telling you about pay-per-everything sites, you already know what they are about.
"when a girl convinces me that she has a genuine interest in me"
Then you'll be waiting a long time. Maybe forever.
The best thing you can do is just book a month or two off and travel to both Russia and Ukraine, crisscrossing these two countries by train, plane and automobile meeting women. I'm convinced that's one of the best ways to do it. You don't need to correspond with one person for X number of months then go only to see her.
The greater number of people you meet the greater the possibility you will find that one person who is right for you and even if you don't you will have a wonderful time, if you play your cards right.
I met a man who said he had made 7 trips to ukraine to find a wife. I asked over what period of time, he said 18 years. He made one more trip to meet his "fiance" he had never met. He was 54 and she was a stunning 23 year old. I haven't heard about them in over a year. It's all perspective. I Didn't go looking for a wife despite hoping i found one. I went on vacation open to what ever life pushed my way. I could easily have ended my trip from Poland or checz if that's what felt proper.
I have accepted that finding a wife in the FSU area is a hard thing to do. I am the patient one. It is some of the ladies that seem a bit more urgent.
I am fine about the drop in attention from the monthly pay sites. I think it shows that the people on those sites contact the new people who just enrolled. After a while, if they have seen your profile and not contacted you, they never will. Sometimes it is only by chance that a compatible person is active on those sites. Who knows? I may have registered at the wrong time. Maybe I should have registered five years ago, or maybe I should wait five years later? This is a very random process and sometimes the timing may be off. Most of the ladies on this site that I have contacted appear to be just having casual conversations. The few who seem to be getting serious have dropped off (maybe they were scammers?). I have not been asked to visit anyone yet, but some have made comments about the fighting going on. The contacts on the free sites have also dropped off, but I am OK with that too (I do not need more translation fee help pleas anyway). The pay per letter (or everything) sites keep piling up the messages. I noticed on one of the sites, after I stopped logging in, the messages stopped coming in. Then several weeks later I log in for just a minute, and I get several messages. It appears like the website is tracking who is logging on and then sending spam messages to that profile.
"The few who seem to be getting serious have dropped off (maybe they were scammers?)"
You need to accept that, just like men, when some girls meet a man who seems to be better than you, they will drop you, mostly in a rude way (they just stop writing). In some cases you will be the man that a girl will drop another man for.
What happens with the new girls in the site if they are attractive: they get talking to many more men than they can cope with, then they just start droppng several of them until they get to a manageable number of men they can deal with. This is made worse by girls whose English is bad. Some have told me that it can be really stressful an painful to be reading and writing letter in a language they hardly know.
There is no right or wrong time to start looking, 5 years ago or in 5 years time. I will say that even now is a good time to look in Russia and East Ukraine. You can go and meet a girl from East Ukraine in Kiev.
I am surprised you have not been asked to go and visit anyone yet. I get asked all of the time. Many times the first message says: 'When do you plan to come to Ukraine?'
In my view, the only Internet method that works is pay per month dating sites and I m including Social Media sites in my consideration.
Another thing about marrying FSU girls: the great majority of the girls in dating sites say that they want commitment and to them commitment means marriage, no less. If they are to put up with a man who will not commit, they might as well go for a man with money in Dubai or Kiev and enjoy it while it lasts. I believe this commitment is a main reason they look for a Western man. (and being taken to the West)
I can see that your lack of understanding of how relationships work is what is preventing you from getting a real one.
The trial period of living together should be in YOUR country, it is mainly for both of you to see if she can live in your environment with you, whether she will be homesick all the time, whether she can speak the language, whether she will like the people and your house and neighbourhood, get a job... I could go on. If you go to stay with her, it will be a holiday for you, Duh! You are unlikely to go and live with her in her country, and for those men who intend to do so, fine.
If men cannot afford the time or money to take an FSU girl to stay with them prior to talking about marriage, then that is what the fiancée visa is for. You do not have the obligation to get married at the end of the period, but if you don't and you want the girl you can say bye bye to her unless you are prepared to go to live in her country and she is prepared to stay there.
And how many idle men are there who can just go to spend weeks on a holiday with your 'girlfriend'? I know I am not.
What do you know about my commitments with my children, business, personal life, etc, for you to go on with our accusations about my ability to travel to see the girls, my money, etc?
No, you do not know, so cut it. You already know what my answers is if you think I have to give excuses to you.
I made a great effort to go and see the girl in Crimea, but I am not on call like you are
I wonder if it was you who advised that guy 4re to go and see that girl ASAP :-D, that was the most disastrous visit to an FSU girl I have ever heard of. Yep, the girl said come when I tell you so he did.
Many good ideas here but there is still some bickering around. I focus my criticism given or taken to or from people that really interest me. Anyone can play the FSU dating however they can afford it.... Since I am currently living in the UK, once I had stablished a relationship via Skype and phone call then I prepare to meet her ASAP ( within 6 weeks ) for a few days. I had mentioned about the girl met me in Vilnius cause she had a Schengen visa. She turnout to be a pro-dater. For the record, I did enjoyed her company and no I didn't payed for her tickets. I behaved like a gentleman even though, I was getting hints of foul play going on. That was my second attempt. I hope my next victim turnout to be a genuine woman to take with me the States...
Gents...,,Many good ideas here but there is still some bickering around. WTF!...I focus my criticism given or taken to or from people that really interest me. Anyone can play the FSU dating however they can afford it.... Since I am currently living in the UK, ( flights to Eastern Europe are cheap and within 2 or 3 hours max) so once I had stablished a relationship via Skype and phone call then I prepare to meet her ASAP ( within 6 weeks ) for a few days. I had mentioned about the girl met me in Vilnius cause she had a Schengen visa. She turnout to be a pro-dater. For the record, I did enjoyed her company and no I didn't payed for her tickets. I behaved like a gentleman even though, I was getting hints of foul play going on. That was my second attempt. I hope my next victim turnout to be a genuine woman to take with me the States...
I placed a profile with very little information on one of those pay per message sites. My nickname is "dirtbag" on the profile. In four days after registering, I have received 57 messages to the inbox and nearly the same number of "winks".
Well, in my case, my 10 year old daughter who, for the most part disagrees with my looking for a Ukrainian (or any) wife, once went to my profile in my dating site, when I was logged on and went to prepare dinner. Then she wrote all kinds of nasty things on it: I am the most unreliable poo poo head in the UK, etc. I did not get messages for a while and some ladies stopped writing to me until I went to check my profile and saw what she had done!