Well there is this girl, a beautiful one who I always believed to be a scammer. I continued to speak to her for a few months just for entertainment. I have posted some of her strange messages here, just for fun. She has been asking me to come and see her for months and I have been saying no for the same period of time. The reason is because I told her that I needed to 'meet' her on webcam before going to see her, only because I was sure it was a Boris. She has given me 100 excuses for not talking to me in webcam and I told her that was proof she was not real. I have told her she is a scammer, a man and a good time girl. She just laughed it off (but she was really offended).
A couple of days ago she gave me the Skype address of her friend and told me she would speak to me next time she went to see her friend. I said great. Then yesterday she comes back to me and tells me that it will be easier if she answers my questions in writing, sent to me together with a new photo of hers. I laughed and told her no then decided not to write to her again. Then this morning she calls me from her friend's computer on Skype. It was her! and she looked even better than her photos. But I was working and told her I would speak to her later. Now she is not with her friend and I will have to wait again.
It turns out her English is bad and I am sure she was embarrassed of the fact to be in webcam. She looked totally embarrassed when she spoke to me.
The thing is I was so sure she was a Boris that I promised to her that if she was real and showed me in Skype, I would go to see her. Of course she is claiming her prize now and is rubbing it on my nose. As I am a man of honour, I will plan to go and see her but I still need to find out if she is a professional dater or an agency girl. As I have said before, I suspect the beautiful and glamorous girls. Could this be a genuine one? I have asked her how many men have gone to see her and she told me! (3) I thought she would say: none of your business. She also told me about an agency she was in! This would have to be a strange scammer.
Now I am going to ask her why, if she is so beautiful, she has not found a man out of three who made the effort to go and see her. The language could be a reason.
I could still decide to pass on this girls but the problem is that, apart from being beautiful, she is crazy in a nice way and she has the best sense of humour I have seen in an FSU girl (or any girl).
Anyway, this long posting is only to say to those who think they are talking to a scammer: wait and find out more. if this one is a scammer, I have never talked to a scammer who has been so patient with me.
She's probably not a scammer but she's not going to want to be with a pauper.
The more beautiful they are the more upkeep they are financially and in other ways. Do yourself a favour. Don't waste your time or hers. You'll never be able to afford to give her the kind of lifestyle she deserves.
And if she does come to the UK she'll just be using you as a stepping stone to something better.
moyarishka what you're saying could be true. It could also not be true.
The acid test is do they at any stage request money. For instance I don't know where this lady is from. Does she accept him to come to her hometown? Does she demand taxi fare in order to meet? Does she demand only meeting in an expensive restaurant?
There are many factors. Obviously I would want to be communicating with her a whole lot more than WS has done.
You'll be able to get a "feel" for her if you are experienced.
Why did I think you would come to pour your venom here? Just give it a rest. Just because you have consistently failed for 20 years to find a partner, that does not mean the rest of us have to. Taking advice from you, on ladies, would be like learning from Yanukovich how to run a country.
Just lie back, relax and think of your Ukrainian 'girlfriend' getting laid by a different bloke every week.
No, that cannot be the case here. If it was a Boris writing the letters, he would already have hinted or asked for money in the past 6 months ("my mum is sick", "you cannot come? How about I come to visit you?"). The only thing she has asked is that I go to see her. 6 months after writing to each other is reasonable. And she does not get angry when I say I cannot go yet. Why would a Boris want me to go to see him? Also, in the dating site I use, a Boris like this would not have lasted a week. I have already made enquiries with the site about her and they told me they could not find anything wrong with her. They have removed dozens of 'girls' I have reported.
Also, if she is an agency girl, she would have tried to pull me away from the site to her agency long ago. She never volunteered her email address, Viber, etc. She is a mysterious girl!
The only thing that remains to be seen is if she is a professional dater but I am surprised that men who have gone to see her have not come back to report her if they went there to get ripped off.
I am not 'eliminating' her yet, I could be missing the chance to be with someone who I could laugh with all the time.
But I still do not know the clear signs of a professional dater in correspondence. There are no promises of sex or I am in love with yous. I keep my eyes open.
WifeSeeker - I don't think it's venom to tell you the truth. You're in your 50s now (soon to be 60?) and failed. No woman is going to want to be with you for the long term.
I think you know this. Yet you worry because you are getting older and you think that you can possibly have someone to laugh with in the few short years you have left.
In a few years your daughter will be meeting boys. Heck will be a granddaddy soon.
It's not venom to tell you the truth and help you to avoid being used solely for immigration purposes, but as I mentioned to you before my advice is not really directed towards you, it's so that others in the forum can benefit.
But you're the epitome of an old geezer nearing the end of his life who thinks he can get something good.
TomZ...may I remind you, you are not 'telling the truth', you are merely giving an opinion/guess based on (your experiences) what you read from OP's post. No one here 'knows' what is really going on.
I have wonder what initiated the 'come visit me' line. Was it early in correspondence? Many girls have guys write to them and never visit so I can understand a girl wanting a 'visit'. Let me give you an example I ran into. This girl spoke English poor, we wrote for several months then I stopped (due to me not being sure if I would visit soon, cause of war). During our initial writing I had a girl I trust( from that city) deliver flowers and tell me if girl was sincere or not. Everything was positive with girl and the family, when I wrote again after 5 months the girl questioned my motives. She asked me my intentions, how I was to show my sincerity and what are my future plans?
I told her I am planning to visit her in *date* to see if we can develop a relationship that can possibly lead to a future together!!! Needless to say this girl was serious in her wanting me to visit.
Yes, that is the only difficulty with a girl like this. It has been discussed here, extensively, about girls who are fed up with keyboard Romeos who never deliver in terms of going to see the girl, so now you can see many profiles of girls that say: "If you cannot come to visit me in the next x months or weeks, do not write to me"
This is a proven biological thing, they have carried out studies: women make a judgment on the suitability of a partner, quite unconsciously, by smellig him. This tells them who is chemically compatible, for instance for having babies and combining defences to fight disease (for the next generation). No amount of Skype conversations will allow them to see this. So the fact that they have already seen in Skype that you have an awful laugh or that you are bald or clever does not give them the information they need.
But then, when you get to this stage in the conversations, you have to distinguish between the professional daters and the girls who genuinely want to meet you in person.
I read this ine in the girls' letters, often, too: "So what are your plans for us"
You keep saying you are not talking to me, but to others, yet you keep addressing me in your postings. Well, I say to 'others', too, that you have no valid advice to give and I warn them that you are a fake pretending that you have a relationship with an FSU girl after years and years of trying. The only thing that 'others' can learn from you is how not do do things.
You are talking about my daughters? What do you have in the way of children that allows you to give advice on this too?
" But then, when you get to this stage in the conversations, you have to distinguish between the professional daters and the girls who genuinely want to meet you in person. "
This is the blurry line....a girl may be a pro dater for one guy and be sincere for another. There is no way for you to know...all you know is girl acted a certain way with you.
It is quite possible for a girl to act different between letters/phone/Skype and in person. I don't know if it is the 'smell' but you get a certain feeling being around a person..... the eyes, the facial expressions, the scent, the touch, an aura.
That is right, the women have more of a need to assess the guy in person than the other way round. I have mentioned the smell as that is a study I saw in a BBC documentary which I remember. But, as you say, they must also want to see the eyes, expressions, mannerism, etc in 3D as they can see all these things in 2D in Skype.
I guess sometimes you have to bite the bullet and accept that, if you go to see the girl, she may be a professional dater. If you are willing to take the risk, I guess that is fine, but it can cost you in heartache as well as the money to travel. Of course you can dump her on the spot if she asks you to go to a posh restaurant straight from the airport.
The other alternative is to start talking about the places you want to go to and the things to do in correspondence, before you go, to assess her interest, like asking her "do you know of a nice pizza place in your town?" :-)
This girl told me she would take me to a spa she knows. So if I ask her for the website address I could see if it is an ordinary place and the prices or one of those for the mafia and other rich people.
"a girl may be a pro dater for one guy and be sincere for another"
That does not really work. Any girl who is a pro dater with one guy only is 100% scammer. The reasoning behind this is that virtually all scammers have a boyfriend or even a husband so they are obviously sincere to them.
Well yes, TomZ is talking from experience: he has only been in relationships where he has been used and I take it that no FSU lady has ever loved him, including the present one. I also think he is lying about the girl not getting anything from him. I bet he goes loaded with presents and cash every time he goes gto visit the woman. There is no other possible reason why a woman there would want a distant man, with no commitment, unless she is a dog, which is likely considering she is interested in this obnoxious character. The woman would have to be completely stupid not to have detected the way he sees FSU women.
It is understandable that he has deeveloped a cynical attitude towards FSU ladies and his defence mechanism is to reduce them to sex objects. However, the real damage is that he is promoting this attitude here and he may encounter one or two innocent newbies who will believe him.
Wifeseeker, but that goes both ways too. There were a few women I've dated that i had no interest in other than to take back home and have sex. On the other hand I always was looking for a woman to be serious with. I gave that up though when I met my wife.
It's funny, people will always assume she's my daughter, (which technically she could be) but I am not one of those who is easily confused. I can not one of the people only see grand gestures, easily faked. Look for the little things. ... dozens per day... that alone would mean nothing. .. changing her name on her Facebook page, posting pics of us together all over vk, everywhere. .. each time she rolls over at night being sure to kiss what ever side of my face is available in that position. .. being very playful. .. meeting me at my car side at 5:30 am every time I work nights... not ever missing once in over a year. Hundreds of little things that mean nothing alone, but speak volumes when looked at as a whole