[I've been reading this forum on and off for a while, and I wanted to let those on this forum know that it is possible to met a great woman from the FSU and be successful in this effort. But it takes both of you to want it, and it is not an inexpensive endeavor.
I met Marina on Elena Models (the only web site I would recommend)in Oct 2010, and we met for the first time in Spain in December of that year. We had a great time together and met in Italy several months later, then in Russian in June of the following year, where I proposed and met her parents and daughter Masha. She said yes, and we started the fiancé visa. We met in Britain later that year with Masha and then in January 2012 Marina and Masha arrived in the US and we wed several months later.
I was a widower and had a daughter and son and I worried how the kids would do, but my kids took to Masha and she was happy to have siblings and a family. I love it when Masha calls me dad and this year she was a bridesmaid at her sister's wedding.
The transition went easier than I thought it would, probably because Marina and Masha had traveled in western Europe a lot and spoke English very well. She wanted to be a stay at home mom and so far that has worked. Not everything has been easy. She and her partner have a business in Moscow, so she returns more than I would like, and that has been a problem.
From reading this forum, I guess I have been very lucky. I wovo and she was the one. I just wanted you all to know that it is possible, but both you and the woman must want the same thing if it is going to be successfulYour
How long is she gone for and how often, are some important questions. Who the business partner is also matters.
Her and the child probably have citizenship of the USA by now,,,,, but is still flying back and forth?
I don’t think this is a situation that I would want to be part of,,,, many of the horror stories start like this,,, but they have been married for 3 years now.
A Horror story - wow! I think Marina and I would both say we're doing a whole lot better than that, and thanks to those for the congrats. For those who have not done it, there are a lot of challenges to blending two families, two careers and two cultures, but both Marina and I wanted to make it work. Some quick responses; she's a stay at home mom here, but works online couple hours a day with her female partner (and yes, we trust each other). She goes back several times a year to give her partner a break; I pay for one trip as we discussed and agreed to before marriage, and she pays travel expenses for any other trips. She is close to her parents and friends, and her work allows her to help her parents. She is normally gone several weeks, and I will admit I don't like when she is gone that long, but she is helping her parents, and we've talked through that problem. Marriage is a life of compromises and give and take, and I get so much more with her than without her (and Masha, who I plan to adopt as my daughter this fall if she agrees).
Will we last? I certainly hope so, and we both want it to and we both compromise with the other. My kids )all 3 of them want it to last also). I read so many disappointments on this forum, and I just wanted to let those that may read this forum know that it is possible to meet someone and make it work. But as I said at the beginning, both you and the woman need to want the same thing, and there is a lot of give and take to make it work.
You are asking me because I said " call me cheap or macho but...."? ILMAO )))
I had short and lengthy work related travels that had put me weeks or even months away from home. I wasn't seen as hero and after many missions. My marriage kept getting worse than ever. Moving to Europe put the final nail to end the relationship.'
Moral of the story: I discussed before hand, or we travel together or stay together, period! And with 2 or 3 kiddos air tickets would burn a hole in our budgets. Could be better to bring the in-laws for visit.
I guess... I had set my self up for " control freak " but not... Just trying to avoid another painful episode.
Thanks for the response Mike. Seems that you are doing everything right then! Especially if all these matters were agreed to beforehand.
Regarding the trips home, its quite normal for FSU people to spend several weeks at a time on a trip. As its an expensive plane ride it isnt affordable to do very often.
In 4-5 round trips per year Im spending over 6,000 and thats airfare only so if you added spouse and kids to the mix it can quickly require a second mortgage to go!