I always knew this day would come, but I thought I would be a little bit better prepared for it. The girl that I have cared about all of this time has finally married. No,, not to me.
For months I have sensed that something was up, but the proof only appeared last week. First was the name change,, then photos. Itís a nice feeling looking thru an exís wedding photos,,,,,, not!
She looks happy, so thereís one less thing in the world for me to worry about. Itís to a local too,, which I am very glad for,,, cuz Iíd be uber pissed if it was to someone in the US.
Of the women Iíve wrote to and met, at least three have married so far. Two have married locals, and one,,,, the most professional agency girl,,,,, married a guy in the US. Thereís nothing special about him,,, other than being a banker a few months ago,,, now a ADA, assistant DA,,,, and within a days drive of her sister in Ca!! lol
Iíve tossed around the idea of wishing her congratulations,,, but when I think about what to write,,, it starts turning into bitter whining,,,,, and nobody likes a whiner.
LR , I appreciate you writing about this, but with all respect I would had side ; let it go. But , it I would have been a hypocrite. I had kept in touch with ex UA girlfriend for a long time. I had sent her some money for her kiddo ( his father walked out of their life ) once in a while. ... I noticed something was going on, she didn't reply to my messages or phone calls. So then , I saw she posted a wedding pic and read the translated comments of "congratulations on your wedding and new baby "( yep! She looked very pregnant on the wedding dress ). Later on, one of her friends wrote about her new born and blah, blah...unlike you, I did messaged her a discreet congratulations. I was happy for her. ( she new I am with someone special ). No hard feelings. At one point, I should had deleted it and forget about it, cause lately I noticed she ain't happy; at least I recalled when we where together.....
In another note:
My fiancťe got her visa; and now, she would with me, in just a matter of time.
Letting go of the memory wonít be easy. I havenít seen her for 4 years now,, and havenít had any communication for 2 years, but yet I think about her everyday. I just gave up,, there were no other avenues to try.
On two occasions during our dates, something was weird with a taxi driver,,, then a huge guy in a mall. I kept tabs on her to see if those guys ever reappeared, they didnít. Iím satisfied enough that she met this guy since our last meeting.
Probably the thing I am most bitter about, is how their profiles were opposite of the real person. This girlís profile was mostly country,,, wearing a C-W dress. The truth is that there isnít a city big enough for her. The girl in Odesa, touted herself to be a very loyal, faithful wife and home maker. She was in the mountains with her boyfriend when I arrived in Odesa.
A girl in Nikolayev was almost too boring to bother with,,, no spark, no passion,,, way too serious and proper. I started thinking of her as a nun, almost didnít see her! Less than two hours into the date, sheís smashed,,, spent about 15 minutes on the floor,, and the rest of the time hanging on to my you know what?! Itís like they are playing a game,, of who can put up the most absurd profile,, and still get men to visit. Thatís the main reason why Iíve stopped,,, letters mean nothing, phone calls or chat mean nothing, in person,,,, means nothing!
Dc,,, it would have been more accurate, if I had said: Meeting an agency girl in person, means nothing. Most of the time, you hear guys complaining that the girl writes such great letters,, but in person everything changes, they no longer get along. For the two of us,,, the letters at the end werenít very good, but we got along great most of the time,,, and I didnít need to spend big bucks for the better times. We got along and had fun together. We just couldnít stay connected after I left Uka.
In preparation for future wife, my sister reminds me of start purging and/ or delete all my pictures and writings that I still got for all my ex's. Whatever I had saved and put away, I had to opened it and erase it. But, guess what? It took me forever, but I managed to just delete some. Had to admit that while going through memories and miseries, I also paused for a few seconds and asked myself, what if,,,, should had, could had.... Well, the past is past, and had enough of wasting time pretending that it didn't mean that all was for nothing. Well, I don't need to hide my pass relationships like a crime/ sin that should pay for. We are both mature to deal with it if it comes to light. At one point it will be inevitable to once and for all cease to contact the past and move on. ( end of giving my 2 cents/ rant!!! )
K-dag,, it was my plan to wait around long enough to see who was in her life. For a time I actually worried that she didnít have any close friends,,, years ago,,,, but if they want to hide stuff on Vk and fb,, they can, even when you are a friend,,, and especially if you are not. In all of this time,, not one photo of her with a boyfriend in her profile?!! With her seemingly trying to keep her personal life a secret,,, it made me think she had something big to hide. What I had found, was two pics of her and two girlfriends that swing both ways,,, actually,, one only swings the other way. I found one photo of her, a gf, and one guy. I thought the guy was the others boyfriend or husband,,, I was wrong!
I donít even want to try and guess how much time I spent searching for 3 photos.
I lost many of our photos from the first trip when my old pc crashed hard,,, I still have the hard drive,, but it would need to be dissected bit by bit kb,,, $1,000 or more.
Photos arenít the only reminders,,, itís women that look like her,, and she had so many different looks through the years. She also wore a shirt of mine while lounging around the room. I had ordered it right before the trip, same brand, same store, same size,,, but it looked like a dress on me, I didnít try it on until in Ukraine. I still have it.
My 2nd wife Irina threw me for a loop a couple times. She must have went digging in every box here, and one day she was wearing my 1st wifeís shirt,,, from 16 years earlier!! She did that twice, I donít remember if I told her or not?
The quiet ones can have a lot of pent-up sexual energy, and be a real freak in the bedroom. I remember one from many years ago,,, she had the serial killer eyes too though!!
The girl from Nikolayev couldnít stand up after just two drinks. I imagined what it would be like with her stumbling around bars and restaurants here. Not only would it have made a scene,,, but I donít think she could be trusted if I wasnít with her.
A person has to keep themselves from choosing opposites,, from one extreme to the next. My two wives were opposites, the 1st was more like the girl from Nikolayev, but could hold her booze. I went from getting ďextrasĒ at the indoor movies, or while driving,,, (bench seats),,, to no extras at all.
LR , I pity the fool the had married my ex's. Yes all of them. But I had good memories too. When only think about those moments, I wonder what could I hay one to make it work. Those thoughts make me sad and depressed; however, it takes two to tango. I did took a a look back on my ex , the Ukrainian one and like I said, she is different.
People change, sometimes from bad to worse... I am glad not to be in the situation.
LR, don't wait around for anyone , specially nowadays when we don't have that privilege. Unfortunately, we are not getting younger and time is not forgetting our own mismanagement of time. I think that most of all my ex's got married or in a new relationship. Why should I waste my time on them. I'm sure they care less about me and my happiness. As I mentioned before, these girls are never alone for long.
I'm finally a frustrated Glock 21sf owner in this People's Republic of California
you not have time to live in past! Life is adventure that must be embraced!
do not dwell on what not work out but try again. not all bad, some good!
Agency can have a success but must be careful and not be nieve
K-dag,,, most people that met my 1st ex regretted it. I had a pending ex-husband of hers, call me to ask WTF? The only thing I could say is,,,, thatís just her way! She left a path of destruction where ever she went.
The 2nd wife is a different story. She had a mother and father, sister, an aunt and uncles. I know where she went to college, and they had a summer cottage with a car and garage, and a small garden! That is pretty much all I know about her,,,, not one name or story about any exís. She had a real information void.
No,, we are not getting any younger, and I am almost prepared to say: ďPassĒ on the rest of it. If I was to get busy right now,,, I would be over 70 by the time a child would turn 18. That would mean no retirement until after turning 70.
ďmismanagement of timeĒ That could be the best way to describe it. I didnít worry about it when I was young,,, never thought I could be in this position. Years ago it was so easy to find a date, and all you needed to do, was ask if they wanted to see a movie together,,, or wanted to go out for supper. When they said: Yes,, you wrote down their number and asked where they lived. Today, you donít see a pretty single girl anywhere, you might think one could be single, then her kids or husband come around the corner. I probably could count any chances on both hands from during the last 15 years,,, and the weird thing is,,, I had two just the other day. One was a pretty enough woman in her 30ís,,, but trying to look like a teen. Iíd bet she is in the middle of a divorce or a breakup. The other was early 20ís and hot. Wearing a tight short T,,, showing a nice tanned midriff and piercing,,,, I hate piercings,, but I wouldnít let that stop me. We were both looking at the DVDs at Walmart,, talked for a moment about them, I picked one and left. Why didnít I stick around?? Because I was in agony! Iíve been suffering with back and hip pain for most of this year. Itís either that nerve in the back,,, or Iíve worn out the cartilage in the back or hip. I have a doctor appointment in two weeks,,, I might ask for an MRI.
Glock? Iím a Ruger P series myself. I should be able to out shoot Yosemite Sam!!
Dasha, I agree with you but dwelling is the past is better than the current misery.... Fortunately, it just a temporary thing because of ignorance.
LR, if you retire at 70 , you will qualify for 100% Soc. Sec. benefits and maybe your 401k is better than if you were to cash it by 59, ( that last is my is my goal and with a high VA rate. )
Now that my fiancťe have her visa , I found myself defending, re-enforcing and persuative about the terms of our marital agreement. We won't have a prenup agreement. She lis leaving a lot back home and don't have much to lose. I strongly believe that this is going to work. Otherwise, I wouldn't even start the process.
I'm living what I call the s#!t hole for single guys. There is 4 guys to 1 gal and most aren't marriage material.
I don't encourage anyone to travel for 12 hours to find a wife. I was just 3 hours away but move back to the states.
The 9mm Shield was the most sold but now I have to prepare to protect my future family.
K-dag,,, I donít know what the ratio of men and women are here,,, Iím sure there are plenty,,, but most are 200lb+ and/or not very attractive, or have 3 to 10 kids. Some of them are horny too,, last year I was bending over for the bottom shelf picking out yogurt, when a woman grabbed me from behind,,,,, and held on! I jumped cuz it took me by surprise. She just smiled and walked away,,, and no, she did not giggle.
Many years ago when I dated often, I was playing in our dart league, against a team of all women. Every time you shoot, a dart or two would land on the ground,,, bounce off the board I should say, and I have to pick them up. I started getting whistles from them,,, and compliments. I asked them if they wanted a feel?? Yes, they did. That went on for a few minutes, my crew were all red in the face. Itís been a couple of years now since Iíve been pinched in public. Some times women would sit next to me at the bar and talk,,, they would sit with one of their legs between mine,,,, then move closer. Those were the good old days!!!
The flight duration times from Green Bay to KBP is on average 17 to 21 hours. I have found a few down to 14 hours,,, but with only minutes between connecting flights,,, not enough.
LR, I am guessing that we live in the same town ...! LOL even though California the less obesity epidemic rate of most States, there is plenty of whales walking offshore too of all kind, races, status and ethnicity. Some don't even speak English and already have 3 kids. I can go on ranting about the Socialist People's Republic of California but it also have it good and not so ugly.
If you're in good shape and active, then your part of the minority. Most of my buddies went supersize and so their wife too.
I wasn't the type of guy that didn't hesitate to nailed any random woman. I had experienced, I had heard, and I had seen nothing good of being a Casanova. Believe that chics here are easy too and specially when you offer them drug paraphernalia / heroin. I wouldn't have anything serious with any of them.
LAX to KBP in 14 hours doesn't comes close to FRA or LHR to KBP in less than 3 hours When I used to live in Europe ...I recommend to anyone pursuing FSU ladies, to move closer to your target area. That's my 2 cents....
Dc,, I wouldnít call myself a Casanova,, I didnít need to be, at least half of the time I was the one propositioned. Most of the time,, I was invited to their bed.
I had a small apartment in town for a short time, and neighborhood girls would show up at night, mostly because I always had something to drink in the fridge,,, and I partied with their mothers. Some were in high school looking for beer. A few times my friends were invited and the girls would show up too. Only one of my close friends was a fellow hound,,, and he was bad. He was trying to hookup with one of the neighborhood girls,,, and I was trying to get some sleep. I could hear the struggle start in the living room,,,,,,,,,, I donít know you well enough!!! But you will!!! Lol I had to shout,,, play nice kids!!!
Several nights, I didnít get any sleep at all,,, then had to be home for work early,,, did my work, skipped supper, showered,,,, and continued the date,,, drinking soda on the way for a little energy. The 2nd night started as a regular date to the movies,,, twice during the movie I had to excuse myself to visit the little boyís room. The last time I returned to my seat and put my arm around her again,,, she removed my arm,,, watched the rest of the movie and said take me home. One hot night followed by a cold one,,,, Díoh!!!
She was the younger sister, of one of my first marriages bridesmaid . Iím not sure if I remembered that at
I know for sure that one of the neighborhood girls were under age,,, because she got carded at a club in Green Bay. Club Utopia, a place that doesnít even exist anymore, was the place to be in the mid 80ís. I had a full car that night, and the one girl not only got carded, but they held her for the police. I couldnít figure why they were being such asses,,, then I seen my distant cousin,,, the county DA. We were two counties away, but he still must have some influence.
I sat with the girl in the squad car,, literally holding her hand, and giving it a good squeeze whenever she started to volunteer info that the cops didnít need to know. Some people just canít shut up when under pressure,,,, they donít need to know all of the things youíre in trouble for!
I got them to drop all of it after promising to take the girls straight home. One girl was impressed by how I stood by the girl and took care of her friend. She didnít go home that night! Sweeeeeeeet!!
One thing that not only changed dating,, but put a few businesses out of business, was the legal drinking age. In the late 70ís and early 80ís, the drinking age in Wisc was 18,,, then 19, and finally 21. It was normal to see girls as young as 16 with friends in bars,, which didnít bother me at all because I was 16 and 17 when first driving. I only had a few years on those girls from the neighborhood.
Places that had dancehalls and bands saw a real drop in attendance. One by one the little mom and pop places shut down.
STDís werenít such a problem before the mid 80ís. When aids was thought to only affect gays,, no one worried. When it started to affect blacks,, no one worried. But when they discovered that anyone could contract it,,, people worried.
Falling in love is like listening to your favorite song. You know how the song goes, you know how it ends. When you fall in love, you have already made up an ending. Your mind looks for it. With the song, the song stays in your head.
Next time you have a song in your head, instead of not listening to it, try listening to it from beginning to end. That ends the song in your head. Try to not think about it works, eventually.
Rb,, if falling in love is like a song,,, then it would most likely be a song performed by the J. Geils Band!??
Iím in better shape now, compared to where I was when I started this thread,,, Iíve even laughed at it a little. My Vk profile is loaded with a lot of old and new songs,, many are achy-breaky , broken heart songs in a tribute to her. I was listening to the theme of Romeo and Juliet,,, and it goes something like this;,,, A time for us,,, some day will be (Oh no it wonít!!) and I burst out laughing. I realized that I quoted Hommer Simpson, in the ďBeer BaronĒ episode. I believe it was Robert Stack spoofing his role as Elliot Ness.
He said: Iíll catch you Beer Baron!!!
HS: (from the distance) Oh no you wonít!!
EN: Oh yes I will!!