I sent my proposed flight itinerary to Lucy have her see the dates as she is taking the time off from work. I was surprised by her responce.
Here it is:
"I saw your flights schedule and I can say that it is ok if
you come just for visit. If you come and we decide to continue
together than it is not ok, because we won't be in time to arrange
papers. We would need at least 3 weeks for paperwork. But, I think
that return tickets can be changed, isn't it? Anyway, you look again
and decide."
You can see how direct she is, but she still seems to defer to me.
Lucy has a friend who married an American and moved to the U.S. (she actually lives in this friends apartment in Chisinau). Lucy is being guided by her friend Floritina regarding all that would need to be done to leave Moldova for here. I asked for her friend and husbands phone #, she gave me their # and e-mail. I am planning on talking with Floritina and John (esp. John), not just for planning reasons but also to see his/her opinion of Lucy.
Is it possible to make all the arrangements in three weeks? Lucy is very organized and diligent (she works for a firm that prepares all kinds of documents in Russian, Romanian and English - although I do not know the nature of them). Do I need to be there for certain preliminary documents - or could they be done in short order if I was to return?
Regardless, I am unable to change plans from 1 to 3 weeks while I am over there. My schedule would not allow this and I think my thousnd dollar ticket would blossom to a multple of thousands. I would have no problem returning to Chisinau as soon as necessary though.
When I started this whole "Russian Bride' thing I am thinking this whole processs is going to take a year plus to complete! Of course neither of us are under the illusion that we can 'fall in love' and make committments without actually being with each other.
Ensata:
It might mean she wants to consider marriage during that 3 weeks !! Its hard to tell from what you pasted of her letter, but I know when I married my X in Uzbekistan we could have done it in 21 days (3 weeks, but we waited 12 weeks from deciding to marrying) as thats how long the papers and declaration in the UK Embassy take to process. A bit like "putting up your bands (intent to marry notification)" in the UK, an affidavit must be posted on a board at the UK embassy no less than 21 days before the wedding, once it has been up there for 21 days with no objections the couple is free to marry as soon as they collect the stamped and signed paper from the Embassy.
Ensata, maybe she knows what she writes, but I assure you that it is impossible to arrange everything as quick as she writes (3 weeks) – simply impossible. It takes around 6-8 months (!) to get a Fiancee Visa, and taking into consideration Tim’s experience, to marry her there will take a little less, but all the same not 3 weeks, at least 3 months are required.
Anyway I hope everything will work between you and she will wait for your next trip to Chisinau.
Ultra - everything that I have heard or read points to it being a lengthy process. I wonder if maybe there is one aspect, or a particlar step in the process that occurs in the three month period, where one would have to be there to sign something. Or amybe we could tie the knot in three weeks but the visa process taking much longer. I don't know.
Anyone with any experience with Fiance visas specifically in Moldolva?
Ensata, to my mind Lucy meant that you would need 3 weeks for some paperwork, but she did not mean that in those three weeks you would be able to leave Moldova together. I think 3 weeks are required to start the whole process. Moreover I know several couples who married within 2 weeks in Odessa, Ukraine (so it is possible to “tie the knot in three weeks”) however their marriage is not legal in U.S and that is why they had to apply for Fiancée Visa all the same, though it made the whole process much easier.
Unfortunately I don’t have any experience with Fiancé visas specifically in Moldova :)), however I can advise you the services of Lawrence R. Holmes, the leading attorney for FSU countries’ Fiancée Visas. He will answer to all your question about all the details connected with these visas.
Ultra, thanks! That sounds right that the three weeks would be whats needed to begin the process. Is the marriage not legal in the U.S., or is it simply not sufficient to obtain the visa? Would the marriage have to be re-performed in The U.S. to be recognized? I may give this attorney a call.
Ensata, yes, the marriage will not be recognized as legal in U.S. and I think you will have to marry her again in U.S. As far as I know it only facilitates the process of obtaining fiancée visa, but not sufficient to obtain it at once. It is very complicated and there are so many peculiarities. I think you should call Florintina and John and find out the whole process from their experience. Maybe they know some secrets ) how to do it quicker… or call the attorney –he must know all the aspects.
Regardless of the legal process to bring your bride to US or UK...does it make sense for anyone to consider marriage or long term committment to someone we have not met yet?
Does it make any more sense to consider it even after a week or a month of knowing him/her?
Isn't this rush to marry what we think is the ideal partner one of the main reasons why so many east/west relationships fail miserably?
In the west, this is a formula for marital disaster. Does having one eastern spouse insulate us form it?
I don't think so.
I think it does it makes sense in so far as the sense of considering your options and all eventualities before they occur. It doesn't mean it will happen that way or work but is reasonable to consider. In making those thoughts, it is easy to consider oneself as impulsive or crazy when you're probably neither. I have to say that because I think I am crazy with the same thoughts but family and friends say I am not crazy. Life is full of decisions, considerations and opportunities...make the most of them.
sounds very interesting mate.......maybe another time and somwhere less public eh?......:))
BTW......good evening to ya,nice to get a bit of time on the PC......weddingitis is killing me LOL.
I'm glad you spelled 'public' right. lol
You'll soon have the cure of the 'ball of chain' to remove your weddingitis nerves.
Today was the first day, that the "M" word was mentioned in her letter, one that almost made her choke when her son asked her whilst she was eating if this was going to happen and in turn I almost choked whilst I was drinking when I read it. lol