And by the way, it's not a secret that many men who enter the university, don't attend lectures, they work. They just need a diploma from the University.
I am sorry to hear if you think that 70% of foreign male visitors are arriving for sex. Where do you get your statistic from?
Personally, I can get "sex" anywhere.
The need to travel thousands of miles for "sex", seems a rediculous notion to me and one that I believe is not as high as you claim although physical intimacy will naturally occur between two people that have affection for each other.
However, I would travel thousands of miles to find my "love" - big difference.
Sex is a crude term that for me doesn't apply, making love is perhaps too strong a phrase for a short term relationship and so the definition would likely be somewhere in the middle. Sharing a passion for each other to see if the chemistry works with a view to long term commitment than "wham, bam, thank you mam" attitude which from the users in this forum seems few and far between.
Dma
I fully agree with your point, when I first spoke to my lady, her English was extremely little, when I went to meet her 3 months later, I was shocked how far she had progressed, just by using books, help from friends and watching some TV in English, it was a clear sign of her commitment.
She never asked for a dime and admitted she made many sacrifices to fund our communication, ie not going out so often, economising on other daily expenses.
We're married now 18 months, she realised going into this that she had a goal in mind and had no intention of using the process for anything other than finding long term commitment and happiness.
Sure there are plenty of people hedging their bets on both sides, men and women, its part of both cultures, I went on WOVO, maybe I was lucky, or maybe I was careful enough to discard the scammers, there were plenty of those, but most of all we put alot of effort and honesty into knowing each other before and during our meeting, what can I say except the only surprises we both had were good ones.
My girl started with a poor English level (2 months ago) but that is quickly changing due to the fact that she is putting in the time and effort - despite having to work, visit friends and family, raise a child, in addition to my encouragement and patience with her. Which is mutual as I make some reciprocal effort to learn. Women (and men) can lead an active and busy lifestyle and none of us are so overloaded that we cannot take any additional commitment and if we are, then changes should be made - changes we can all do if we want to.
For the girls; no-one is saying any of this easy and at times it is complicated, upsetting and difficult (for all concerned) but you should never lose sight of what you want and plan on how you will change your life to make it happen, then expect someone to change it for you.
People, you really don't want to see the difference between 2 definitions - Wish and Oppotunity!!! Think about that!!! It's possible to study and study English at the same time, but only if it is done at the same educational institution, and in Lugansk only 1 faculty of 1 Institute teachs good English, about teaching computers I keep silence- because I really want to cry when I think about that. Because after graduation from the Institute people know not more then "yes, no, please". And the statistics I gathered at the Internet -cafe where I worked for about 3 years, and I saw and talked with girls who wanted to find happiness, and those who come to see them.
PS: And as for entartainment this is the matter of the institute, which they solve by organizing different contests, performances and so on, at free from classes time and they force students to take part in that.
> Ps. What language supposed to be known by girl: english, German, france, Italian language ?????
The girl should learn what language she wants to and feels she needs to, to fulfil her goals and tastes. Those goals may simply be because she likes to learn a language, educate herself, imcrease her prospects of job opportunities or one of requirement if her partner is foreign.
As far as I understand, English is the second language taught in Russian schools in the teenage years with some select parents opting for a private education and tuition of their children at a younger age where that opportunity exists. English is widely spoken world-wide and if you're looking to increase your chances of any of the above, would be the logical first choice.
I for example could learn Italian if I "wanted" to but I "choose" not to; using my time doing other things as Italian for me would not be a priority or something that I would consider beneficial in my future life with other things taking priority. French is a secondary language for many English, followed by German and if you're lucky, Latin - but what use is latin in most people's lifes? :)
Again, Lugansk - I do not know what it is with you today but I have to respectfully disagree.
Just because opportunities may seem and are limited, this should not limit your desire or perserverance to "create" an opportunity from your wishes. I am open minded and willing to see any person's viewpoint so long as it is discussed in the first place than concluded without my opinion. To claim that I don't want see the difference between "wish" and "opportunity" without having discussed those words as an issue, would be presumptious at best.
What for example is wrong with home study?
(OK, this may incur learning material costs; or materials you could borrow for free)
What for example is wrong with acquainting yourself in a new social circle with friends skilled in that language that may be willing to help?
(no cost whatsoever)
To claim that vocabulary is limited suggests at least one of two things. 1) The education system for which the teacher in class is responsible for is at fault; or 2) The pupils are not prepared to learn when presented the opportunity.
None of those "opportunities" and more besides require a faculty but a desire and motivation than a pessimistic outlook.
Is your glass half full, or half empty?
I do not understand why learning computers troubles you
- obviously it does and you have your reasons. :)
I am sure you believe your research to be true, I however prefer a physical reference so that I can better understand the source of information, in particular when statistics are thrown at me and until I have that reference, will use my better judgement. :)
dma are you a teacher at the University???:) Here all teachers speak the same way and each of them speaks about his own subject:)And for example on the faculty of economy, where I studied, there was only 1 semester left for that (4 months, 1 hour and a hald a week), self-efucation is a plus for everybody, but there are priority areas (accounting, typing on the computer) and secondary are learning languages, because people earn money with priority on the rest. In Russia English may be the secondary language, but in Ukraine it's Russian language, and English is 3d or even 4th. And a girl should learn hardly these or that language only when she found somebody and their relations are serious, because she has to communicate not only with him but with many other people, who may not know English. By the way we have many people who like Esperanto, and do you have?
dma I just wanted to tell you about friend's help in learning English. I know English, and they say that I kow it very good. And there are many of my friends who would wish me teach them English free of charge, but I just can't allow that myself. That would be too expensive for me to find materials and to give all my knowledge to my friends free of charge. But it doesn't mean that I don't love my friends, and that i'm an egoist or a material girl, this is the reality and I can't do a thing with it.
Now, I have two-on one. I must be dreaming. lol
Both of you girls today are obviously intelligent women and able to articulate your thoughts and ideas.
No, but in my limited reading about education where English teachers in Russia are a precious sought after commodity that pays well, the experience seems to be that the quality of Russian English teachers is quite poor. If they vary from the curriculum (I assume that they have one), why don't the students get the teacher back on track?
Indeed, priorities is what this is all about. For many, as you say, accounting and skills that pay the bills are essential for many to live. But for those that want more, will have to do more by giving a commitment and dedication over and above other people's expectancies. I am not in touch with Ukraine culture other than I suspect the more distant or rural you become, the less importance will be made on other's languages. Again, the choice to enter this marketplace of dating and opportunity requires sacrifice. The more you sacrifice, the better your chances. Many international guys will reject girls with little or no education, language skills on the basis that there are "easier" options available where girls have realised their goals and already gone some way forward to achieving them.
Personally, I grew up with the attitude (and it's wrong, giving my bias) that everyone should speak English. ;) but as I have matured that perspective has changed.
Ptichka! OOOH What!? You would not teach your friends free of charge???
At a minimum, you do not need to buy materials, talking will suffice, pen and paper can also help, practical lessons shopping or anything can all be done without a financial cost. All of this can be done with commitment and that precious thing we seemingly can't even give to our friends...our time.
People don't want to become teachers, because the payment is very poor, and those who become teachers, who have their heart to that thing they are sent to small villages to teach children, and there are almost no good teachers in the city. At private schools the fee for teaching is very high. Only rich parents can allow their children to study there.
I think that it's not correct to reject girls because they don't know English, you see not many people can learn languages without a teacher.
Yes I can't allow myself teaching my friends English, why because first I study, second I do translations for my friends and they understand as well that my time costs money and they see no problems to pay me some fee, it's lower but there is some fee, and I should translate 3 books for my University until the end of June, and also I live away from my parents so I take care about the flat that I rent, how do you think do I have much time to spend with my friends??? I don't remember when it was the last time when I went shopping...or just walking along the city having rest...
It may not be right but I do think that language ability is a high consideration and criteria when guys are writing to foreign ladies in their rejection process. I myself am guilty of that prepared to go down to a rating of 4 (some written understanding, being able to compose and read sentances) but I did on one occasion give one girl with a zero rating a "chance". She turned out to be a complete waste of time, likely a scammer; that was soon discarded.
Private tuition is something that I am aware of if in Russia, is an opportunity I could explore.
I don't think I would charge a friend for translating but I understand why you consider that your time is money. I would freely give that time for a friend so long as it wasn't abused in return for favours or just because they are my friend. I have gladly gone out of my way to take friends far and when offered money for petrol or expenses, would decline. You do it because they are your friends. If you cannot do it, you don't but teaching someone skills, we can all do. Of course, you could also view the fact that by translating for someone else or teaching them that you yourself are actually improving your own skills - so maybe these friends should be charging you! ;)
And if time with friends seems so little. Maybe you should spend less time on the internet ;)
...for me, it is my work so I cannot escape it.
Actually I'm talking on this forum while making the translation of the book. So it's like some periods of rest to my mind. :)
You see my friends understand my situation and as I do translations for their work and not for themselves they pay me, it's normal. Luckily I have many opportunities to improve my skills in English besides that:)
And once I tried to teach to one of my friends one subject...since that time I told that I won't teach friends free of charge...because she became abusing my time, coming at any time she liked, bringing her friends whom I didn't know to study and so on and so forth, after that I said no free of charge lessons...people here have a good intuition and wish for free things:))) And you shouldn't forget about that...
Learning a language is so difficult?? my wife learnt vocabulary using the dictionary and gained some general stuff from TV, as it happens when I first met her I offered her money to go to English classes, she turned me down and said it was a waste of time as most of the attendees were women and that classes were not goal driven to learn English, but more a chance for the women to chat and socialise.
For what its worth I'm British, speak Greek fluent, Arabic,Italian and French enough to get by in country, learning a language isn't Rocket Science, main criteria needed is the willingness and determination to learn.
If people think they can only do things for money in this world, the alot of things would just never get done, Like discovering America maybe.
Yes some people make cope with learning English without any help. But have to admit that they don't show English speaking programs on cable television here, and besides me myself don't have any television at all...I just don't need it. I know many very reliable courses, and groups their consist of different people, not only women, but men, students, the main thing is that they are of the same level of English.
Be sure that if I start teaching English free of charge, I would have no time for anything else....as I said people here have a good intuition for free things, and when you do something free of charge then that person asks you to do something else, and more and more and more...and then you find yourself doing nothing but things for that person...
I myself am trying to learn russian through audio courses and quite frankly am finding it harder than chinese arithmetic. :o) I just hope to learn the basic survival skills by the time I make my trip in september.
:) I can assure you that it's the easiest way to learn basic by audio corses, but when you will come here you will find out that we all speak "incorrect" Russian - sleng.