nasfan6, I can only say that you're absolutely right. Certain issues have to be talked about, otherwise you're predestined to fail. The problem arises also when the girl doesn't want to accommodate to the customs of the country her future husband lives in. I have the same problem with mine. She wants to live with me in my country (Croatia) under her Russian terms, applying her Russian customs (both secular and religious). This simply can't work. Both she and I are religious (she's Russian Orthodox, and I'm Roman Catholic). While I talked with her about the religious tolerance that's needed between us if we want to establish family and to raise our future children, she keeps emphasizing that only SHE is going to be responsible for the education of HER children. In her speech there's never ever OUR, WE. I guess there isn't a chance of us staying together on these terms.