Ensata,
Keep me off your posts, and please do not insult me, unless you want to be insulted. You are more of a “Bozo” than I will ever be, and don’t force me to explain why.
Pitchka, of course you are the heart and reality check of our forum! You have been exceptionally kind, patient and intelligent through this forums recent difficulty. You really embody the kind of woman so many of us here hope to be with one day.
Worldtraveler good to see you posting here again. You lend an iar of credibility and knowledge. It is reasonable to put up with a bit of chatter here, as long as the substance does not get lost in it.
Dax - sorry for the insult, you just come across as pedantic and it is hard to sift through all you are saying. You were certaintly as insulting and boorish as any one towards our donkey friend. Also your incessant reference to your occupation comes across as self aggrandizing to me. I do not think that you or anyone else would appreciate my speaking of my profession, and experience in it, to the degree that you do yours. I have tried to politely have my say here - you will receive no more flak from me. Please just keep your posts more concise and relevant to the general purpose of the forum. Obviously this is only my opinion, but you would surely be helping me in this regard. I do wish you good luck
Fair enough Ensata. Lets just drop it. I know I can be an asshole without trying very hard, so I apologize if I have insulted you with my long and tedious comments. Good luck to you too. I will try to keep my comments sweet and short.
Dax, some of my best friends were once people who really irritated me at first. The emotions settle and I come to appreciate how someone different from myself brings be new and important perspective. Thanks.
Dax & Ensata....stop kissing each other's butts, lol.
You're both a lot more entertaining if you spice your posts with a few low blows and throat clutching fingers to each other's professions, ideas and attitudes...(just kidding)
Ensata, thank you for the earlier 'decent gent' comment....
(you lying bastard, lol..:))
I think the most refreshing sight in this forum this morning is the various amounts of padlocks wisely placed by Olga on threads plagued by nonsense viruses courtesy of several 'you know who' morons.
As much as I enjoy reading Pitchka's posts, agreeing/disagreeing with her and exchanging east/west info, I do not think she is my ideal FSU woman.....heck, she's in love with another man (sniff..)and she has stated many times she is not willing to live in another country.
I'm "newbie", so here's a comment and suggestions to you OLDIES.
Forgive me , I haven't been to FSU yet, crash.
First of all, on the very first page of this thread, the heading or question to be answered is sidetracked by the very same people who accuse the newbies of doing so.
You guys should take a look at who starts the hostile comments that get made. I don't think I would be able to defend myself in such a good manner and with such polite words, as eeyore did in some of the previous threads. He even apologized on various occasions, but it was great fun putting him down, so why stop. Right ?
Crash wasn't "here" for a while and when he returned he realized that forum has lost focus. So maybe you should all take a step back and look at yourself, before blaming a "newebie" or a "wanna be". Go back the first few threads in forum. Same situation there. If you think you can carry the title of oldie or " I think I'm oldie", then you should give some constructive advise to the questions. Don't change the subject to how deep the water is in the river that runs through Omsk. [no offense] That is very informative and interesting as well, but not what the readers actually might be looking for under the respective subject.
I'm sure most of us enjoy the humor in this forum, at least those who continue coming back to this forum to read or to comment or to lol. Problem is to stick to the subject in questions without sidetracking or completely loosing the subject.
Here are my suggestion:
1. Open threads under SPECIFIC TOPICS: Traveling info; Sightseeing; Hotels, Restaurants, nightclubs, Weather (comparison); War-stories; and how deep that river actually is etc., etc. [These are not questions, but info one can read up on and always add on new info.]
2. Open threads where the PERSONAL CONVERSATIONS can happen for those who can't resist. >> Gongrats Crash; Scott's jokes; did he mean ass in english or in american etc.
3. Leave the other threads for QUESTIONS & RELEVANT ANSWERS. In a manner that is actually informative to guys that want to read up about a specific subject, or get a non-offensive answer to their question. Something which is unfortunately NOT possible at the moment.
Put these 3 on different pages or in different colors on the main-menu.
Most probably I get to hear a lot of cr.. from you people now (oldie and newbie and wanna be). My English vocabulary is quite limited, so don't expect me to reply on your comments. I'm just trying to help and be constructive.
Guys, just stopped by and I am very surprised by all the comments and views of my thread. I will be back later in the day to respond to all comments made, I just don't have the time right now.
Olga, please accept my apologies to you, I know you are doing your job, please do not lock out this post until I get chance to respond =)
I read and can see your point with your post. Yes, I have been to Russia and met the woman I thought was the "one" for me. Let me give you some advice from experience, not nonsense or hearsay.
When you write that you were "embraced" by her family as "one of them," I can assure you that the same thing happened to me. What did you expect? Rudeness? This woman and her family knows that you are a "ticket" to get to the West. What would you expect them to do? Crap on you? Take everything with a grain of salt.
Right now, I can see you have the same expectations, optimism and excitement that I had when I returned from Russia. But the bottom fell out from under me abruptly. My "fiance" changed her mind in a heartbeat! She broke promises she made in good faith to me and it hurt beyond what I could ever imagine. Despite all the claims she loved me, her family loved me, embraced me as one of their own, they are people of character, etc., she gave unconditional love and devotion one day and took it back the next. I was devastated.
Your woman interest will tell you one thing to justify her actions if she suddenly develops "serious doubts about our relationship": "These things happen." That is their justification. Be ready for that. You will be stuck to deal with your heartbreak while she easily goes to find another man, despite the "talk" about loving you and her family loving you. It can and does happen.
I love that woman. And I mean love her. I do not love the idea of her. I love her and her alone, despite whomever comes along. I love her regardless of whether she gets very fat, loses her hair or loses her limbs! Did that sincerity help me one bit? No. But my love for her is no assurance of anything. You may think you "understand" these Russians, but you are only seeing what you want to see and what they show you. There is so much more to be found out the hard way, as I did.
You must understand something — you may not grasp the Russian persona as well as you think you do. Does your woman love you, or the IDEA of you? Please think about this question, because to understand the Russian women involved with this marriage "arrangement," you must address this question.
You are an icon first and foremost. You represent something to her and her family. Does this woman want to marry you, or the country you live in? Have you asked her this pointed but realistic question? Nope. Why? Because suddenly you will be accused of not "trusting" her and she will get very "upset." What will you do? Go crawling on your hands and knees to apologize? I made that mistake and I see the error of my ways.
You don't think I was upset when this woman gave me her "love" and "devotion" and said over and over that she wanted to marry me, then one day took that love back? You will not see it coming and you will be shocked.
Your situation right now sounds identical to my own. Yes, my woman too was one of virtue like you describe. That is also what I sought in a woman, Russian or otherwise. I am serious about a real marriage and family and not wanting some sexual exploits! I saw her as a mother for the children I have always wanted and never had. I had tremendous respect for my woman, and I never asked or expected anything of her. Please don't think that trait is any guarantee of anything.
Don't be surprised if she writes you one day and simply tells you to "find someone else." I am a man who cannot transplant his affections like that, but don't think for a minute you will get an ounce of credit for those values. I am not a "pig" towards women, but don't think you earn any points for valor.
She can and will be willing and able to find someone other than you. These women need a way to get to the West, and marriage is that way. You think you know Russian women, but I can tell your from my experience that resiliency and contingencies are the strongest of their characteristics. Despite what one of these women tell you, they can have transient hearts. If you think your woman interest doesn't have a "fall back" plan, I can assure you that she does.
I hope things work out for you. If not, then you may end up "crying in your beer" the way I did. Just please don't say you weren't warned! I tell you this not out of bitterness, but of the experience you write is needed for men involved in this "Russian Bride thing." We must address issues in an intelligent, informed manner.
Objectivity is needed. My woman found the best man she ever could, but I cannot and will not be the one to "convince" her of that. It's a feeling I will have to carry with me the rest of my life. She made a mistake by rejecting me, but it's her mistake to make.
To find the "love of my life" was the greatest, most beautiful feeling I have ever known. To lose her the way I did was the worst. I am doing nothing more than offering advice to other men who have yet to realize this lesson in life.
WT, lol....
Let me do a double take to evaluate my so called "desperate situation", lol...
1. I will not be looking for work in the Ukraine anytime soon, lol. My job gives me unique freedom because I am an independent contractor and peace of mind because my income level is among the top 1% earners in the US....2. Despite my confidence and my charm, there is not way to compete with the emotional commitment to the man she loves.
3. Although I do not discuss the specific details in this forum, I enjoy the attention of several lovely, honest and seemingly ideal FSU women today...SO, It's actually her loss, lol..:)) not mine.
4. I enjoy the exchanges Pitchka and I have in here without needing to make any changes to it. I hope she does, too.
"....Perhaps you could have your house become a local Ukrainian Embassy..."
...And risk having the likes of you walk in asking for a visa??????....NO WAY, JOSE!!!!!!...:)))
Well, now I am sure, so here is my story. As you all know I was very skeptical about meeting a girl who was not a scammer, and I said so. I remember I got a few of you angry. Thus, it is only fair I give this website the credit it deserves. A while ago I received a letter from a girl whom I thought had exactly what I was looking for, so I began communicating with her. We hit it off, I guess I wasn’t such a jerk with her, and we began sending each other nice long e-mails learning about one another. My first surprise was that she wrote English really well. I was still skeptical at first, but I began feeling comfortable very fast. Long story short, she surprised me a week ago by telling me that she was going to save me a trip to Russia. It turns out that her whole family was already living here, and that the only reason she was still in Russia was because she was finishing her degree which she had finished the day she told me all of this. She also told me she was flying to meet her family a few days later, and now she is here, I have just talked to her this morning, and I am going to meet her soon; and just like I thought, she also speaks English really well. I obviously don’t know what is going to happen from here, she might just find me scary or something, but the fact remains that for the very small fee I paid for my membership I may have found my dreamed woman, and I have had a lot of fun irritating a lot of you guys, learning from your adventures, and even playing with eeyore whom I promised not to insult anymore. So I am a very happy and satisfied costumer.
Leave it to a german to propose everything to 'structured', uh?
specific topics
relevant questions/answers
personal conversations
Dietz,
your suggestions would be more welcome if you didn't start your post criticising people like Crash, who has a proven track record of endless contribution to this forum
Just stopped by for a while and happened to read the whole "Donkey" thing. Seems some trolls stay for a while. Also seems evident WHY some people are looking to Russian women (or desperate for ANY women).
In regard to the poster above (and on the last page) to post topics and then actually have to craft specific responses TO the topic - seems like it would kill (perhaps should use a different word in light of postings I read) the spontaneity. That's for text book writers.
Congrats to all who have made significant movement and fallen in love with someone special. I am not in that position yet.
Toad: You have whetted my curiosity (makes it sound like you lifted your leg). Pray tell us about some of your FSU ladies; those you keep company with, in whatever detail you feel comfortable with.
And where is TimH. Though I have been gone a while myself - I have to beleive that he would have made a difference in the legnth of stay of this eeyore character.
Tim is still in the process of moving and getting settled in. I had a quick e-mail with him this morning, and he stated he will be on this evening.
Toad,
I guess alterior motive won't pan out now (a place to request political asylum). :-)
Been There,
The same kind of situation can and HAS happened with local women. Granted there is a huge difference in the commitment a man is making. However, a woman in that situation is making just as large a commitment. She faces the prospect of leaving her family and loved ones behind.
To be honest, I wonder how many times that same situation played out in WW II with our troops in Europe and their eventual return home. I bet a lot of men and women were in love, and she was ready to make the big commitment and changed her mind at the last minute.
If you whole point is "don't through caution to the wind", then I imagine we are all in agreement. However, each person has to play that role as they see it. As long as you walk into this with your eyes open, hopefully you will be able to handle this if it goes bad. Otherwise, I just don't intend to go into this that pessimistically.
Hope for the best, plan for the worst, and be prepared!
jet,
I do lift my leg quite often, other than to piss on the nearest tree, old dog that I am.
Of all the FSU countries discussed here since I joined this website, nobody has said anything about Turkmenistan or the women from there.
Of the half dozen women who still seem interested in me and who make the effort to stay in touch on a regular basis with valid personal information about their goals, dreams, families and every day life events, there's one senorita with whom I get along best and is by far the youngest, tallest and brightest.
She also has a first cousin from Minsk currently happily married to a limey guy from Manchester (poor woman:))) So although indirectly, she has some knowledge and exposure to an east/west marriage within her family.
So far, she is the one I will fly to meet with in August if possible. There will be a large annual family reunion in Minsk that month and if all goes well, I'll be there to meet everyone and then travel with her to St. Petersburg or Kiev for a more private "one on one" vacation.
My tentative plans to visit FSU are on hold pending a visit from my mother from Buenos Aires. She will be here a month but we don't have a definite arrival date yet, the damn local (Argentine) authorities are taking their sweet time renewing her passport. My kids are anxious to see her again, so we all hope it's soon.
Unlike Ensata and others, (and maybe because of them), I have been reluctant to give free rein to anything other minimal emotional involvement with any of the FSU women I correspond with regularly....and have been blatantly clear to them that I will keep it so until at least the day we meet in person.
I will treat my travel to FSU as a visit to a new friend and her family as well as the opportunity to see first hand some of those fascinating cities.
I simply do not think that is wise to try to justify the travel expense to visit FSU to meet someone new by getting emotionally worked up about the potential future opportunities.
The travel alone and the chance to see a new city and new people is in and by itself worthy of every dime I will spend getting there.
Although I am the most adamant advocate of healthy and frequent sexual pleasures between two people who plan to spend any amount of time together I do not plan to bring any expectations for immediate sexual gratification.
Only an idiot would think to go to FSU to get laid as the most important part of the trip.
There, jet....now you have the latest toad update, lol