I have been reading this forum a little bit. And I've understood that most of you think that russian (eastern) girls look for western men only for marriage, and that age doesn't matter for them.
Let's take a look at every aspect.
COUNTRY
I would agree that most girls are really looking for foreign husband to change their country.
But.. for me that is not the case. That is not the case maybe for many other girls also...
As.. your perhaps would agree with me every person (man or girl) would be happy to find his Only Solemate.
And when this One-and-Only is found, the person would stay with him no matter from which contry the love is.
In anycase, sooner or later in your life you have to meet him or her, or your life would have been lived for nothing.
For me, for example, it doesn't matter from which country will be my man. If I LOVE him - it means, by definition, that I WANT to stay with him and be with him always. Love, by definition, doesn't take into account any other questions: country, money and so on.
I would not say that russian men are bad. I just haven't met my love here..
AGE
Some of you have written that if a young girl specifies age of a possible partner to over 40 y.o. - that seems to be strange.
But, take for example Schwarzneiger - he is 55 as I know, but he is in wonderful shape, - he is the dream of almost any woman I think.
A man can be physically like 50 y.o. in his 30 y.o.
Or he can be physically like 30 y.o. in his 50 y.o.
All that depands.. the person has to take care of himself, of his health, of his physical lookout, the man has make sport regularry.
SOCIAL STATUS (personal level of development)
As you would probably agree with me: the level of development of a driver is a little bit different from for example that of a Minister of Finance. And, if for example the woman is a Minister or a CEO, she would probably not like to spend her life with a person of lower level.. Her man, in most of the cases has to be at least at her level or even higher.
So, as I am quite successful in my age already, I would like to meet successful man also.
I am 22 y.o. I am really quite beautyful (man always want to make the acquaintance with me), I practice sport almost everyday, I am successful in business and so on..
The man whom I've met is 44 y.o. - and that is not drawback, but advantage!
And I am for him not because of his country or something else.
He is just really great in any sence. And I just fall for him at the first meeting.
He's tall, very handsome, sportive.
As I've found later he's quite famous advocate (lawyer) in US. I've made my little research over the internet and I have found some court decesions with his signature and even some videos of court sessions with him (you can't beleive to only words).
He called me very often, visited me twice in Moscow, said me that he loved me very much and planned to take me to him, even though I has not yet thought of changing my living place..
We were communicating for 6 months.
And then.. he just disappeared...
I have not received neither an email nor a call from him for a month already.
His mobile and his home numbers are always on a voice mail.
Could you give me a hint: WHY could this happen?
How do american man tell to a girl that they do not want her anymore?
Do they often just disappear?
There are many here that might just dismiss this out of pocket with him being a lawyer.
I don't know how they are viewed in Russia, but in general, lawyers are generally not well respected.
I think it is better to just address this as him being a human being.
If this person has actually abandoned any and all relationship he had with you, I will state that is not the norm, nor should it be. What I will postulate is that he found a women either locally or possibly out of country that fulfilled his desires more than you did. For him to dismiss you without any contact whatso ever, show VERY poor character on his part. I would probably state that if this IS the case, you are better off that this happened now before any other serious commitments were done on your part.
Now, if you REALLY want to pursue this, I might suggest you contact his office directly, and just see if he is out of the country and when he is expected back. If he HAS been unavailable for some time, it might have been an emergency that is taking his time. I would still find it odd that after a month he has not contacted you, but it could be. He might also be sick. Again, contacting his office might reveal that. (I really mean talking with a receptionist at his office).
Back to your last question, I can only speak for myself. Some men do break off contact with no reason or converstation. Some women are the same way. I'm not that way, nor do I condone others acting that way.
I'm sure other in this group will chime in on their own as well, but that is my immediate response.
I'm sure everyone here would like to help you solve the puzzle of his dissapearance. Here are a few reasons why men sometimes do not call or write anymore to a woman:
1. He found someone younger.
2. He found someone prettier.
3. He found someone sexier.
4. He found someone willing or able to satisfy him in ways you would not or could not.
5. HIS AMERICAN WIFE FOUND OUT..!!!
6. All of the above.
Because he is an attorney of some prominence, the following reasons may also apply:
7. He could not get an "innocent" veredict for one of his mafia clients and he now wears cement shoes and rests with the fish deep in the harbor.
8. This is normal behavior for the vast majority of people in his profession, specially those with fame and fortune.
You seem intelligent and by your own words, attractive and business savvy....Do what you can to chalk this experience as a painful lesson and move on.
There is not such thing as the 'one and only soul mate'....There are many millions of men and women looking for a good partner with whom to have the opportunity to build a loving, prosperous and successful relationship.
I do not believe for one second that only one of them is destined to be the person with whom I can be happy with for the rest of my life....Damn, imagine if that person gets run over by a bus or dies a premature death of any kind?
Does that mean his/her partner is screwed for life without the possibility to rebuild his/her emotional life and goals of a happy relationship ever again?....Naaahhhh, I don't think so. That may work for swans or some other bird species, but any human being has options and the ability to exercise them.
Be well, laugh often...and remember that every day above ground is indeed, a good day.
Good luck, Moscow girl..:))
If he does not respond after you send him an e-mail with the following message, I'd say it's a good bet that he is no longer interested, available or both...
..."Dear bottomfeeder attorney,
After a month of waiting for your response to my calls and letters I've decided that I am too much of a good catch to be kept waiting by the likes of you.
Therefore, I am entertaining other offers from other american men, one in particular that goes by the nickname Toad in California seems to be an ideal fit for me...."
What I'm saying is that that may not actually be his home phone. It could be a cell phone or business number that he forwards to other locations.
You MIGHT check him out at the following if he has a listed number.
http://www.smartpages.com/whitepages/
There are other sites, but this usually covers the common case.
There are also sites where you can check the exchange location for the local phone office. This can tell you quickly if it is actually a cell phone number or going to a business exchange.
To scottlf: thank you for the link to smartpages: I have found only one person in entire country that has exactly his name - this person lives in exactly his city (it's a small city in Florida, so chances are small that it is a coincidence). But the phone doesn't match.. only first 6 figures match, last 4 don't. I'm trying to call - nobody answers right now.
Scottlf, could you please give me a link to a website where I could check whether the phone number is home number or just a forward number?
If only the last 4 numbers are different, then they are on the same exchange. Forwarded numbers are not phone number specific. Businesses or certain phane carriers can forward a number.
He probably has a seperate line that is not registered. You CAN look that number up too, if you wish.
http://www.reversephonedirectory.com
Before you go down this road to far, what do you want to accomplish? I'm sure you want to know why he has not called, but what then?
If you are seeking "closure", I just hope you will just get on with your life.
But in the end, you will only be hurting yourself worse.
Just assume he has become shark food, courtesy of some disgruntled colombian druglord client and start looking at ME!!!!...:)))
I am curious about a few things - you talk about the age difference not being an issue. If you enter into a relationship with a man who is 20 or 30 years older than you are, then aren't you worried about some years out into the future where the age will catch up with him, no matter how much sport he engages in. And presumably he will pass away much earlier than you as well, leaving you alone for 20 or 30 years? I don't think that's totally trivial.
As for your comments on status being important, I suppose that is everyone's preference. I know that I look for characteristics in women that have nothing to do with financial or professional success. I know people who are wealthy and have absolutely no class whatsoever. Just because somebody has money, or perhaps knows how to argue in court, doesn't make them a good human being.
As for your bottom feeding attorney, even if there was an emergency I can't really imagine that he wouldn't be able to contact you if he really wanted to. I know it's painful to admit to yourself, but you are probably better off just letting that one go...
jjbarrier the age is not a problem, one of my friends got married with an American who is 33 or 34 years older then she is, and she is 23 now.
And you know Janet, I wish you good luck in contacting that man, I think that it's a need to clear things up!!! IMHO I would not be possible to move on and let the person go, if I knew there were things uncleared, because that would mean that me and that person would probably have a chance which I ruined myself without clearing things up!! So good luck!! :)
Being 46 myself and please take this as being disrespectful. I couldn't get involved with a lady of your age. Emotional and life experiences are to far apart. That's not saying you're not smart and beautiful but there are somethings only time can create.
Secondly Janet I wouldn't even give this idiot the courtesy of a phone call. If he doesn't respect you enough to return your calls or emails I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of calling him. Broom this guy. There are plenty of men around willing to treat you with respect,decency and love. Good Luck young lady, you will find someone good I'm sure.