A 20 something that I wrote two messages so far suggests that I send a New Year's Day gift to her to show my interest with her. While it may indicate an interest (just like showing up with a gift to a date with a local lady), that seems way too fast. The prices of the gifts are not cost effective. Better for me to buy some flowers at the local Safeway and take a photo of myself holding the flowers and smiling and smelling them and then sending that photo to her.
Most flower / gift delivery services are scams. The girl never actually gets the gift and is sometimes not aware of anything. If the client demands to see a photo of the girl with the gift or flowers, the agency will call the girl and have her meet at the florist or shop and make a picture of the gift or flowers. Nothing is ever actually purchased and the agency pockets the whole amount.
My policy on gifts or flowers is I do not present them unless I personally purchase them myself and present them to her in person and that's weeks or months into the relationship.
I certainly wouldn't send a gift to someone I had never met before in person. The same way you wouldn't send money to someone you had never met before in person.
I just had one of the "miss wow" profiles tell me that she no longer wants to correspond with me. She then tells me not to respond to her messages anymore. I then asked if she is required to respond to all messages and she said yes she is.
I just sent a "decline" response which will hopefully end the matter once and for all.
I agree with your opinion on this...I was also too specific on the replies, just trying to make myself simple and understanding... It was a waste of time chatting/ writing back to a cold hearted picture...( could had been a Boris or Negirian ) So my policy is a no nonsense approach. A few lines of intro and move to a video chat. Verify, get real and take it the next level. If she is hesitating to give up her Skype # and show her face..then screw it... I am now 10 hrs ahead of EET and there is a lot of shenanigans happening, so I don't have time for a pretty photo teasing me, and screwing with my head.
Many of the messages that I get are very suspicious and are probably from a man or someone in Africa (especially when the messages make a reference to having a relative there or currently on business there). I also notice that some of my profiles on the dating sites keep getting the same messages or "flirts" from the same group of profiles over an extended period of time (which makes it appears all automated). I have not been able to get anyone on non-pay video chat yet. I have only gotten some private email addresses, but the majority of them are scams. I have been rejected a few times, so at least some of the ladies appear not to be the type to drag things out.
I had been trying to replace a UA girl that I made while working there for a few weeks. I had used many forms to contact FSU girls via internet...It was a learning experience. Lots of trials and errors and once I made contact it was a hit or miss..I had rejected them and they had rejected me after a few days, weeks even after "rolling in the hay"...I will not call them scammers, gold digger or along those lines; however, I was disappointed, broken hearted and lucky to see "the deal breakers". A mentor in this forum told me the reason I wasn't finding a suitable woman is because I was “looking too hard ". This seems to be my problem. The dating scheme is the same from the local standpoint as from the long distance too...let's not reinvent the wheel but improve upon it....after settling down now on the West coast, I will jump back on my Russian 101 lessons and save up for a 14 hrs. flight for a FSU site seeing eye candy tour...but meeting a lovely girl on the other end is big plus.
I know a guy that he met 2 cuties in their early 20's in Miami from Odessa a few years back. After that he went a bit desperately chasing FSU girls. Well, after a while his common sense returned to him and he met a local chick; even thought, she was not 20yrs younger than him, according to my eyes, she was a solid 8....
Keep on..... and don't turn into sour fruit and a half like some ppl here
In many ways, online dating is equivalent to blind dating and maybe even worse. If I were to randomly date people in this country, I really doubt that there would be an ideal match for nearly every one of those dates. There are too many variables even if the two people are serious and genuine. You start to think, is that good enough? Should I look further?
As for "looking too hard", I can understand and relate to that. The big thing to me is not to end up with a big "mistake". There are serious consequences when you make certain decisions in your life.
I have been to third world countries, but I am of not the type to go "chasing" after others. I really do not expect for anyone else to "chase" after me (other than those looking for a sugar daddy or an exit visa).
I am not the sour fruit and a half type. I have come across bitterness in life which is not related to dating. Maybe I am an oddball? But anyway, I have to live with myself.
Dude, Did you said"There are too many variables even if the two people are serious and genuine. You start to think, is that good enough? Should I look further?"
there are many "variables" when people push the envelop as far as they can. Serious and genuine people know their limits and target possibilities not illusions. I can manage available possibilities with knowledge, skills and hard work. But some frustrated people had drank or smoked false advertising, fake profiles, unscrupulous or immature ladies.
My buddy thought that I was odd because I did not respond to a flirt from the Starbuck's girl. I am not jumping in bed with any lady. I got standards....
"My buddy thought that I was odd because I did not respond to a flirt from the Starbuck's girl. I am not jumping in bed with any lady. I got standards...."
Everyone has their own standards and conduct. I know one former coworker who actively was trying to "bed down" any nice looking girl in the office. His standard was as long as the girl was not a lesbian nor married, she was fair game.
Im afraid that you guys in your search will find many pretty young girls who will bend over backwards to make you want to marry them just so they can get out of here. not scammers in the usual sense but those just desperate to leave a bad situation. Although im sure they are quite sincere now, Its impossible to know what life with them will be like once they are safe in a western country.
This is a first from me but given the situation here, you may find girls much more receptive than in the past and along with the scammers will be girls simply wanting to get out with no guarantees of what your future will be like afterwards. they will likely make you feel like superman but just be careful. this is a different scenario than in the 90s when girls were seeking the western life and western men. The situation in the last 90 days has really changed!
Outside of Kyiv, in which propaganda from the government makes them feel invincible, the reality outside Kyiv is changing rapidly and resembles in many ways 1998
or worse from a financial perspective. people who once made the equivalent of $300/mo now make 75/mo. How do you build a future when the banks are run by the EU and USA? When a TV that cost 2000UAH now cost 6000UAH? how do you afford a middle class life?
Look, if any of you guys aren't losers and serious about meeting a great ukrainian woman let me know. No multiple losers. No woman haters. No one living in your mom's basement. PM me and we can see about the scores of friends my wife has.
This is the same question that I often hear about the decline of the middle class in the USA. The middle class is losing ground as wages stagnate, but living costs continue to go up. More people in this country don't have enough money saved for retirement. The private pension benefit is very rare for workers now (luckily that does not include me). There are more people who think that they will never retire.