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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Fathers permission to bring a child to USA from Ukraine Author Post izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/9/2004 8:45:30 AM   OK, got a thorny one here and I think I am going to throw the towel in on this one. I wasn't going to throw this out there but it might be useful for lots of people. The lady I have been writing to has a 7 year old little girl. After the usual writing preliminaries I have been trying to hammer out the details a little before I spend bunches of money visiting her and investing my emotions too hard in this. Right off the bat I want to know what the situation is with the ex husband. The reason is that as I have been given to understand on this forum that you need written permission from the biological father to allow the child to leave the Ukraine. We also have the question of entering the USA, a whole other question. I am getting this shrewish response that the child is mine I look after her, the father will be difficult, I already have a paper etc etc. Why are you asking this is my problem and if it is too much for you we had better stop writing. OK, gotcha!! Roger on that. Does anybody out there know for absolutely sure what the situation is? Do you need written permission from the father? Are there exceptions? Is it possible that the father has signed over all rights to the child and that no further signatures are needed? What does the USA want? Is it a repeat procedure this side? Does the fiancée visa cover the child for a visit until the 90-day marriage deadline also? Would the child have to be left behind then tackled as a separate issue? Sorry for all the questions. Meanwhile back at the ranch. I am starting to see a certain independent/defiant streak in this woman that it has taken me a while to figure out but have suspected from the start. I can only see problems down the road with raising the child and general household conflict. She has said several things lately that I don't like, even allowing for culture and language. Uncalled for too I might add. My feeling is that independance is good when it comes to changing a flat tire not when it comes to man/woman relations and especially marriage. It is just how I feel about it. I want a partner not a potential opponent! Therefore, I am going to bail and find someone else, no problem. I think I am starting to understand why her Ukrainian husband left her. Apparently they have shrews as well over there and I guess not all the guys leave because they are raging bottle tippers. I just want to repeat so there is no misunderstanding from forum members that the reason I am going to walk away from this lovely lady (and believe me she is absolutely a 10) is because of her attitude and not the problem with the child. If I felt a more co-operative vibe I would feel differently. I am thinking that this kind of problem is defintiely a 'we' situation and not an 'I' situation. Then there is the possibilty of rocking my world and finding out I replaced the bitch I just got rid of with another that is a lot cuter but who doesn't speak the language and has a TON of baggage. This is a tough one because there is a huge super soft part of me that just wants to melt and continue. However, there is a sensible 49 years of experience side that tells me "danger, danger, Will Robinson". I'm off I can't take any chances. I would really like to get educated on the questions I have raised though and I am really hoping I am NOT going to somehow get ripped a new ass because of my approach. Thank you in advance. p.s. Oh and Toad I don't think a prenup would work very well with this one, trust me!! Another good reason. Ditto Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/9/2004 9:14:32 AM   I can only address the "father's permission" thing partially. My understanding is that if the father has been involved in the child's life, you will definitely require his permission. If not, there may be a need from the legal perspective in Ukraine (Russia, Belarus, etc.) to show that the father has not been involved and has therefore abrogated his parental rights. I am not a lawyer in Ukraine, so I am not sure of how much burden of proof there is for the mother. There would certainly have to be some financial aspects to this process. From the US perspective, the Fiance' visa would cover all minor children listed in the application. The visa process is a cooperative one, so if you can demonstrate the right to take the child from Ukraine, you have demonstrated the right to bring the child to the US. I would assume it works the same for other Western nations. I only looked for women with young children, because I have a young son. I asked them from the beginning, if the father would be an issue. I had heard tales of the father showing up and trying to pry hard-earned dollars from the rich American in exchange for permission. I told them straight away that I don't pay ransoms. I hope this was helpful. izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/9/2004 10:37:53 AM   Yes Ditto it was, thank you. I have just had a long conversation with my Ukrainian friend, Sergey. He had some suspicions about this whole situation and shared them with me. The view he has is that the woman although still young and beautiful has decided to sacrifice her life for the child. She is not looking for romance or love but escape from a dismal town and future for her little girl. Very laudable but not what I am looking for. Also he brought up the subject of a prenup and thinks it is vital. He has his finger on the pulse of this because although it is 5 years since he left he keeps up with everything and frequents the Russian shops here in S. Florida. Apparently there are people there working who don't speak a word of English. Amazing, I thought it was just the Spanish down here and you had to go to Brighton in NY for that kind of community. izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/9/2004 10:39:37 AM   Oh, one more thing. Sergey said that unless the guy is dead you need a signature. wessman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/9/2004 11:26:33 AM   Izi, this is another great oppurtunity to win this womens heart, the fact of the matter is you have invested the resources already to where you will go and meet her so why not write a nice letter asking her how hard will it be to bring her lovely daughter home to the states with you if you guys hit it off when you meet. She has given this some thought already and can best answer this question, once again she will see you are earnest in your endeavors and hope to establish a long term relationship. She will have more condidence in you and realize that you are concerned about the process. Also it will give an example of her willingness to come to Florida with you. I am sure most of the women would never consider you would travel all that way just for a roll in the hay with a younger woman things like this would just never go through these women's minds, right?. wessman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/9/2004 11:32:08 AM   Izi skip what i said i realize the the shine is fading! GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/9/2004 11:43:53 AM   Izi, Emphasis on the pre-nup, even before you make any definite plans to visit her in person. toad izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/9/2004 3:47:26 PM   Thanks to everyone for your input. It helps. There are lots of fish in the sea, many with ready made families where they know where the father is and won't give me attitude. I read her last email again and frankly there is a real matter of fact feel to it. She has also had 2 different profiles and that I really don't like. One woman, one profile. She had 113 emails on the previous listing. I am thinking that this is nothing new. She is jaded with men but really wouldn't mind using her looks to get what she wants for her daughter. That isn't what I wanted. This prenup thing is, as far as I am concerned, non-negotionable. All I need is to have a sweet woman come over to the States at my expense only to turn into Rosanne Barr and kick me out of my own house. I think not. I want a prenup signed in both English and Russian saying that if she walks all she gets is the greencard. That alone is a gift that thousands of women would kill for. It is a great incentive for the woman to really try to make an effort. Nope, she could have had a wonderful new life but she blew it. Unbelievable. I'll just find another, younger, cuter, easier on my nerves who is going to appreciate the possibility of a whole new future. A little arrogant I know but I'm through being mr niceguy. They really do finish last. izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/9/2004 3:51:08 PM   Interesting sidenote on my previous post. If you use the search engine to scan Mariupol you will find that it is very easy to find younger women who are not worried about age. they usually don't have such great English skils but many are without children. They are just as good looking. Then compare it with say Kiev, all of a sudden women of 35 want a man of max 40. A generalization I know but valid. try it. Small city against big city. Small city wins in my favor. izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/9/2004 3:55:07 PM   Another thing too that I have decided. If I go specifically for a couple of weeks to visit one woman I will definitely want a bedroom demo. None of this "I don't kiss on the first visit" crap. That ain't gonna fly. If she's serious prove it. GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/9/2004 3:58:19 PM   OK, you bastards.....who cloned me and named it izifaddag, uh uh uh? izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/9/2004 4:04:10 PM   That's funny. Nope this is me Toad. I am this way and have been for a long time. I didn't start out this way I was molded by western women and the eastern women are touching up the fine points. You just get to certain point yada yada yada ..... Some of you know what I mean. izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/13/2005 10:17:21 AM   I thought I would ressurect this one because it has tons of good stuff. It was from when I had only been at this for a month. Seems like a million years ago. 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