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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Why is it that FCU women accept single fathers more-so than American women? Author Post Bastard_Kid Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/6/2004 10:51:38 AM   Right now I am fighting for custody of my daughter and am really positive that I will win full custody. And with all the trauma I am going through my Russian lady still is willing to talk to me and be with me when no other women here in the States would think of having anything to do with a single father, even single mothers do not want anything to do with single fathers. Is it something to do with there society? Why is having a child that is not theres no big deal for them? I am thankful for it but would like to hear an oppinion from a lady that might run across this tread. Is single fathers a common thing there? :-) GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/6/2004 12:06:14 PM   Kid, I'm sorry to disappoint you...(I'm not a lady..:) But I don't envy your position and my hat's off to you for fighting to have custody of your kidlet. I raised my oldest two as a single father for over 10 years and what you say about american women not wanting a single father is not like anything I experienced while raising my brats. Quite the contrary. Nothing provoked a woman's interest in wanting a piece of me more than saying something like: "Sorry, Susan, my kids need me to do blah blah blah for them." It also worked great whenever I did not want to be bothered with a woman's particular interest because I had other plans to do something without her...:) The following comments are facts I have found among the kind of women you describe: American single or divorced mothers who do not want a man with children are selfish. UNfair play, calculating bitches who want you to accept that they will never be able or willing to give you the highest priority of consideration in their lives, but want you to do it for them. Considering a man with children would force them to accept the same limitations they themselves live with. Single childless american women have a more legitimate claim to not wanting a man with children as they want to start from scratch with someone in the same of similar parentless status in life. You will find that women from most non-western industrialized countries want to find themselves under a FAMILY living status, one that includes children, "yours, mine, ours". The discipline, commitment, patience and effort it takes for anyone, man or woman alike, to raise a child as a single parent is a double edge knife and can work against you if at the same time you try to develop a serious relationship with another person. If I was in your shoes, I'd put aside any plans to start a new relationship seriously with any woman reagrdless of nationality, at least until your single parental status is defined, established and your household with your child start running smoothly. This doesn't mean you should become a monk, though. Good luck, toad Bagira Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/6/2004 12:07:47 PM   Actually I, Russian lady, accept man’s kids just as part of him. And the most open part. I like the tight connection between father and kids and so grate involvement in kid’s life. Such father looks absolutely great person. But think several times before taking Russian Lady as kid’s step-mother. She needs to be extremely strong person. And most responsibility for kids will be only yours. She will be only step mother with lots of responsibilities and no rights. And kids definitely will say her a lot of times: you are not our mother. It is only you who can create relationships between kids and Russian Lady. If your attitude to your woman would be: “I will look, if something go wrong I will definitely damp her out because I attitude to my kids as to part of myself. And I myself of course much more important for me then anything else.” Then kids will not accept her. And it will be only your fault. I had bad experience with man with 2 kids and would not recommend any Russian lady relationship with man with teenage kids. Even I still think that he is the best person in the world. GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/6/2004 12:19:26 PM   Bagira, did the man's children lived with him most of the time or just visited every other weekend? I agree that accepting another person's child(ren) into your life is very hard and can cause a lot of seemingly unsormountable problems. But it is not an impossible task. toad Bagira Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/6/2004 12:20:46 PM   I do not agree with GLTALLTOAD’s statement absolutely: ---------------------------------------------------------------- -- If I was in your shoes, I'd put aside any plans to start a new relationship seriously with any woman regardless of nationality, at least until your single parental status is defined, established and your household with your child start running smoothly. ----------------------------------------------------------- < br>May be only now before your daughter came to live in your house it is possible to adjust her to new woman in your life. After this may be the only events with woman would be blind dates and sex tours to Russia as in GLTALLTOAD life. GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/6/2004 12:41:37 PM   Bagira, When a single parent assumes the responsibility to raise his/her child the most important committment he/she makes is that the kid(s) has priority over the needs, wishes and preferences of any other person in your life. Can we agree to that most basic principle without starting a litane of useless insults or erroneous assupmtions about my life? Bastard is in the middle of a custody battle right now. What I suggested is that he secure that custody FIRST. My biggest concern is that his ex-wife's attorney can use his new relationship to a foreign woman as a weapon against him in court. AFTER his child lives with him, most courts will look at his efforts to remarry as another sign that he is committed to family life, stability and overall wellbeing for the child, which by the way the most important thing most courts care about these days. Bagira, you do nto have to like me, but making absurd comments about my life is uncalled for. toad felicedate Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/6/2004 1:04:00 PM   Hi people. I am not a Russian girl, but a Russian guy who works with them and really for the women who are grown-up already(for me over 30) a man's child is not a problem at all and if they themselves have a child this is even a plus. Beware young chicks who do not pay attention to the fact that you are a father already and your child lives with you, she just wants ANY MAN to get to a country with better living. And it really does not matter too much if he has a child, no child or 5 children!:-) By the way here a single father is a very rare event, usually it may happen only if a man is widowed. Our courts do not get too deep into such cases and always give custody to mothers. But to tell you the truth, men are usually simply nothing in my eyes and I have not met any who would fight for a child to live with him. Why do you think so many Russian girls are here? Just because they are fed up with the local guys. I know it myself, beeing of a bit higher intellect, of not disgusting appearence and of soem bigger income here makes girls almost fight for me. And this is although a pleasant thing for me but globally very sad. I know that I would be fairly commonplace among you guys but the girls I meet... One our customer told one phrase about one of them "In the US people will kill for such girls". Such is our reality. Bagira Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/6/2004 1:21:31 PM   Toad, you said: --------------------------------------------------------------- When a single parent assumes the responsibility to raise his/her child the most important committment he/she makes is that the kid(s) has priority over the needs, wishes and preferences of any other person in your life. ----------------------------------------------------------------- You said,priority not over your needs, but the other person's needs. That means you really do have full family and do not need any person in your real life. In most happy families wife and husband are the base of the family and the most important people to each other. Kids needs parents, we need to give them all we can. At the same time if you are not capable to accept possibility that there is an equal person(kids are not equal, we care about them) that will be almost as close to you as kids, then just do not try to find a wife. Just do not live like a monk and accept that you want only a series of women, not a wife. Do not forget to mention to your women about it. GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/6/2004 2:11:48 PM   Bagira, What's your point, woman? The ladies I correspond, date or share sex with know my children are older now and no longer live with me, even though we have a very close relationship, I see them several times weekly and I am financially responsible for them. My comments are directed to Bastard's situation, not mine. I do not blind date. The only 'blind thing' I see in this thread is your resentment for something I must have said or done to you....I hope you recover from it and live a long and prosperous life, dear. toad GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/6/2004 2:16:39 PM   ".....Beware young chicks who do not pay attention to the fact that you are a father already and your child lives with you, she just wants ANY MAN to get to a country with better living..." EXCELLENT point, Felice... Thunderdome Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/6/2004 2:47:49 PM   An excellent post in general Felicedate - keep 'em coming. And if you do I'd be curious as to what attracts you here. Being surrounded by pretty wrestling females trying to topple you is hardly something I'd call 'usual' ;-) so we're here to learn. Spread the knowledge a bit firther if you don't mind? Dale E Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/6/2004 2:57:16 PM   TD- If he told you, then he would have to kill you! At least that's what he told me months ago.If I remember correctly, he is a manager at a marriage agency in Belarus. Thunderdome Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/6/2004 3:08:22 PM   If he CAN kill me he may. He sounds a lot more clever than those pulling a knife in a gunfight :) If that jobdescription is correct FD than any more posts are even more welcome. And if true - I'd like to know more about that rumour that some RW attend a course in 'how to receive a WM' when they expect a visitor. Very curious about those tricks in the trade... jmoluv Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/6/2004 5:56:35 PM   i think these new people posting here are just plants to spice up the dying forum. i have a gut feeling GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/6/2004 7:15:52 PM   which new people, Jmo....and new as opposed to poor old 'used' us? jmoluv Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/6/2004 8:29:02 PM   i meant the russian guy and girl who just wrote,it just seems strange that a russian man who says he can have any women he wants. writes . why would he be here? and a russian girl pops up out of nowhere to start controversy in a mens forum. it is a good tool to stir things up. just a feeling. wmferg Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/6/2004 9:05:19 PM   felicedate is the manager of an agency and has been posting off and on for the 8 months that I've been here. jmoluv Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/6/2004 9:25:35 PM   oh, her english is nearly impeccable! Thunderdome Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/7/2004 5:36:04 AM   Jmo, not hers, his. And because he's male, and Russian, and (?) manager of an agency and not stupid he must avail over quite a bit of different info not accessible otherwise. Hope you're willing to divulge some of it here FD. Bastard_Kid Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/7/2004 11:20:03 AM   Man, this subject really blew up didnt it!!! Yeah I think I will wait until I get custody of my kid before going to Russia or bringing her here, but she is an awsome girl and hopefully is even more patient, we already made a pact that neither of us will just simply not write anymore and she knows the whold story,..so I'll keep her :-). Thanks guys. and gal, both arguments well placed ;-) T D Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > Why is it that FCU women accept single fathers more-so than American women?
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