This question is mostly for the moderators.
Do you think Russian girls are different from American girls? What I mean is, do they want different things from a marriage, and do they have different dreams and hopes? What are their expectations of a husband. Certainly the difficulties of the Russian economy (and the qualities of Russian men!) have some affect on the girls.
I think thay ARE different.Culturall and historical background make Russian girls to be different from American girls.And this difference becomes especially different when it comes to family values.In Russia every girl from the very childhood is raised in a thought that family is the most important thing, this is something she must be ready to sacrifice for her family, that husband is the main person in her life and she should do everything to please him. Men is a master of the house and a head of the family.( even if he is a drunker and has a very low-paid job).I guess things are different in USA, as far as I know they are more independant and for them marriage is much more a team work or almost a way of promotion, but never something she will sacrifice for alone. Of course this is not true for all ladies, but this isjust what I think in general. I am 29 yo, and during all my life I never seen single fathers here in Russia.Its a very rear event here. But as far as I know those things happen in USA rather often. And all this is due to ciltural reasons. Just an example.The main hero of many Russian folk tales is poor Ivan-Durak(durak means Fool, stupid in Russian ;-)) He is a simple guy from the village without certain job , just hanging around looking for adventures.At the end of the tale Ivan-Durak always becomes a husband of a local King's daughter and becomes a king himself(usually those king's daughters dont want to marry this guy but they are compelled to do this because their kings-daddies force them).Lets look at most of the western tales.What do we see here? Princes and kings marry poor beautiful girls.And this is a true love. And they givwe them everything. (And if it is a princess who finally marrys a poor guy, she has her own choice and she warns out her daddy, saying that she doesnt likes this or that potencial fiancee he offers her and finally falls in love with some begger) Happy end ;-)))What conclusion can we make from those tales? In Russian tale the moral for girls is: <<<one day you'll get married and most probably you will have to be the one to do everything for your family. And most probably your husband will not be the best man in the world but you should do everything for him just because he is your husband.Now you are married and your life will be full of hardships.>> For western girl the moral of the tale is:<<marriage is your chance to improve your life. Dont hurry to get married, better wait for a prince.And when you meet him, take everything you can from him ;-)))>>> May be this is why many western man say that the girls from their countries are more materialistic... Of course there are many different tales, we are speaking just in general;-)) and this is just my personal idea, it is not based on any kinds of research ;-)))
Ivan the wombat (stupid) got to marry a Princess because he was so drunk he didn't know who it was he burped on and gave her the "What are you doing tonight, luv?" chat up line. No doubt the Russian Princess had a lonely life because all the whimpy (shy) Russian Princes' were too scared to even look at her let alone ask her out for a date. Further more I would say that women in the USA (and Australia of course) are not going to let anyone stop them from kicking arse (ass to the Americans) for them to reach their political/corporate/military/etc etc careers. So, in Western Countries we have achieved a stale mate where men and women no longer have an identity in the home but a business like relationship where one of them is bound to get fired because of some belief based on what rights they have rather than what is right.
i think there is a certain aspect that is not being mentioned, equality. This is not an american concept. I beleive that the materialistic fallacy mentioned about american woman is primarly a result of two main dimentions; first, that of classism, the second, being that of the general americans perspective of their own scarcity. On that note because of the present and growing state of the global market, materialism (result of capitalism) will be the new global trend. furthermore, the american culture is multidimentional, as far as tring to create social generalities, because america is multicultural. Their is not a social base because of religion, race, sex preferences, class etc. thanks for letting me ramble......
Not having a degree in social behaviour, but the more that is offered to us and is within our financial grasp the more we feel our dish washers and cordless phones and microwaves and remote controlled garages become a "necessity" rather than a luxury. In less fortunate countries the dish washer is the wife, the remote controlled garage is hubby getting out and opening the garage door. The simpler the lifestyle the simpler the needs or the richer the lifestyle the more overweight kids we have!! ........ Ok, the bigger the pool the better compared to next door. And that is what I believe is the basis of any society at present in materialistic needs and expectations. In other words, Gary, Russian women are no different in realising they have needs but have simpler need. But once in a lolly shop (candy store) there is no telling what she might feel is a necessity (Amelda Marcos with her thousands of shoes). Does that sound logical? I have read about Russia but not been there, but you don't have to be a scholar to know the plight these people are in and know what they expect out of life. So the question is what do YOU expect from a Russian Wife?
One point I did forget (an important point) is the family. As Olga stated the values of Russian women in a family enviroment would be old fashioned (relative to todays western values)and possibly a lot better for us to have who are caught in the timezone. The loss of the man being the head honcho at home in modern western countries is what I believe is the biggest issue we have and that is why we are looking for an RW, rather than materialistic issues. But for those of you who have been caught in the 50/50 split of everything and yet she did nothing or very very little towards the assets then maybe the old values type wife is what is the best for you. But life is like a box of chocolates.........
Wow, we just compaired Imelda Romualdez Marcos (correct spelling)Philippine (Asain) culture to a Russian culture, linked to an American life style. Really I have been to Russia many times.. "The plight of the Russian people" You make it sound like they are in Afganastan..lol Plus to say just because we have a pool and a good lifestyle our children are overweight..lol Really!! talk about classifying people..lol Well being well traveled I have to say, individual people are just that individuals. Culture does have an effect yes. However, dont get lost in this classifying of cultures or status. There are good people and bad where ever you go. Even in Australia!! I do agree with you turning the question around to what do you expect from a Russian wife. But I dont tend to agree with the statements you made to get there. True, the life style of the Russian people is not wealthy like the U.S. or Australia, However they have much to be proud of. They have there problems but they are not all living on the streets hand and foot needing an American or an Australian to rescue them. They have feelings and fall in Love and need a good man like all woman do. There are good men in Russia also. They are not all druken idiots. But the standard of living is not as wealthy and they do not have the chances we have. So, some strive for a better life in that aspect, But most will tell you that they want it but with a man they can love. Im no expert, but I do not like classifying people and Believe me, when they leave Russia to come to where ever, (Even with the great plight..lol) They will still have Mother Russia in their hearts.
I did not compare cultures I compared the misgivings of individual's in what they consider a necessity and a belief in necessity isn't cultural but a wealth based product. That is why I mentioned Imelda who could be anywhere in the world who has no idea about simple lifestyle. Ok she is an individual but her notable grandeur is no different to people who "want" and have a dish washer or remote controlled garage door. Shoes are not a cultural issue but a lifestyle issue built on wealth that's why I mentioned overweight kids. You have taken my comment about overweight kids literally as an isolated comment when you know it is a simplification of the the issues that surround the western kids lifestyle and wealth as a factor and not culture and that is where you have it it wrong I did not compare cultures nor did I link culture to lifestyle because America has no monoculture to gell the comparison!
Russians wouldn't consider a microwave oven a necessity but a luxury. Imelda wasn't brought into the statement as a comparison between asia and Russia as I had already stated elsewhere in this forum that asia is a different kettle of fish but to simplify the point of what we consider a material need based on our wealth. You have been to Russia many a times but I recall Russia and Ukraine are the two countries you have been to, which are probably the wealthiest nations from the old USSR states. With respect to Afghanistan, some Russian women have lost their husbands to the war there and in Chechnya (yes you may correct my spelling if you wish) and, therefore, the plight is very much real. To note an extremely high unemployment rate is a plight and so is a high percentage of drunken men or an apparent future in Russia being hopeless; tied in with these "plights" are a high rate of abuse and Russian women tricked into going to other countries for work and caught up in the prostitution racket. That to me is a plight. When I say Russia I mean Russia and its old states from the old USSR and that includes white Russians caught up in nations that are run by muslims or have a large number of muslims that affect the christian way of life or belief. My very first RW that I contacted on a regular basis was in Kazhakstan and she complained of the problems with muslims in that nation. With regard to the term "plight" it is with reference to the fact that apart from asian countries you won't see as many women determined to leave their homeland as they do in Russia. Sorry but the way I see it I can't imagine American women wanting to go to Russia, and therefore would say "plight" is a relative term.
Wow what an expert for a man who likly has never set foot out of Australia. Book knowledge! You took a few courses in collage and read newspapers. Now your an Expert because you wrote to a few Russian woman. You throw the term RW around which tells me you listen to all the misguided stuff on RUSSIAN-WOMEN-L@MAELSTROM.STJOHNS.EDU The place thats full of crazyness. So where is your Russian wife? When are you going to leave you Ivory tower and visit Russia, and Asia. Asian woman are woman not a different kettle of fish. Seems you are deep into classifying people and cultures. Why dont you visit them and live with them before you classify them. Also befor you use words lets know there meanings.
Main Entry: mono·cul·ture
1 : the cultivation or growth of a single crop or organism especially on agricultural or forest land
2 : a crop or a population of a single kind of organism grown on land in monoculture
Have you ever been to America. The Projects, the inner city "Plight", Seen the homelessness on the streets. Believe me they dont see a micowave oven as a necessity.
Im not trying to put you down, but your classifications are book knowledge and way off base. Buy a ticket, get on a few planes, visit Russia and a few other contries. Come to America and really look around. Then compare it to your book knowledge. Russia has its problems. I disagree, All Russian men are not Drunks. There are many good men in Russia, they just cannot provide the standard of living and the sense of security that a woman can find in the states. Russia is just getting on its feet and it does not offer what the western world offers to their children. Plus you put western kids in a box and say these kids are this, They have no clue. That they are all wealthy. Wow thats dangerious! And Americans have lost there husbands and wives in Sept 11, in Vietnam, in Afghanistan, in berut, in the Gulf, and many other places. Please, you are analyzing the world. look at the people. look at the woman herself. look at the individual. Lets not put ourselves as experts to the future of Russia. After you spend some time in Russia and really, I mean Really know and live with a Russian woman. Then I will accept your comments. But for now your comments are dangerious and way off base. To others reading this. Yes there are scammers and there are problems. However, Get off your duff, stop analizing, Go see the lady of your dreams. Get to know her. Wow what a concept.. Get to know her.. hmmmmmm You might surprise your self. You may find her to be the woman you want, You may not. When it comes right down to it. She's a woman! Get out there and do something. All talk and no action. Go find the woman you want and get to know her and her family. Show her who you are! when you bet right down to it, its you and her in the end.
I have been to USA as well as lived in Europe for 8 years and visited various countries in Europe. My experience with women have been quite extensive from various backgrounds/countries. I met Russian women and I have spent a number of years in various forms of communication with women from asia to south America. I lived in South africa and spent many hours taking an interest in peoples motives. As to monoculture, the usage of the word was bastardised and can be seen in the none literal sense to establish the fact USA is multicultural. I must apologise for the confusion you appear to have. I shall make it clear next time in a language you understand.
I forgot to mention, the fact that I have spent 40 years of my life travelling around the world doesn't make me an expert, I know, but it certainly made me aware that to generalise is dangerous but to accomodate the most common social facets within a "culture" as "typical" is in practical terms "normal". For example everyone around the world consider yanks as loud mouthed and always have to be bigger and better than anyone else. Fact of the matter is the world tends to pick on yanks because they think they know best and that they think they know more than anyone else. On the other hand everyone thinks Russian women are the best in the world ;)
Monolith , Sure, If you really think that. Fact is as a so called Yank, I found that most of the world accepted me with open arms and were very happy and hospitable, So your perspective is not their perspective. Plus it seems here that your the one that likes to know best and thinks you know better than any one else. I found in Australia and London, and in France, Americans are treated as you describe. I also found many woman in Australia telling me that they loved American men and how we treat them and would love to marry one. Wow imagine that.... But I wont classify or analyze this issue. I will leave that to you since you love to do that. The real fact is that are individuals with cultural differences. lets keep it that way and stop all these classification issues. No need to put people in groups or in a box. Like any other woman. Treat Russian woman with respect and get to know them. Dont sit, Just Do It! Woman respond to actions not words. So get off your duff and find the one you seek, If in Russia, France, Columbia, or where ever. I could use the international words known for Australians here. However I won't lower myself to that. I respect all peoples. Yes even you Monolith. I am not out to put you down. Just don't want the readers to get lost in this cultural classification bull. I leave the bastardised words to you since you so good at this practice. Seems in your travels you look for peoples motives as you said. (How sad!) instead of who they are. I look at who they are and put more trust in the indiviual, and I respect their culture.. As for a Language I understand. I speak 3 of them. English, Spanish and Japanese. Which one would you prefer. I hope I did not insult you here with any remarks. Its not my style. Please have a good day and thanks for the conversation. Readers! Find her. Learn her culture. Learn about her as a person. Learn about her family. Follow the simple pratices that Olga has discibed (to protect your self). Promptly address your concerns and issues to the professionls like Olga. Then get off your duff and be the man she needs.
Take care every one. Thanks for listening to me.
Monolith, a big disapointment! That one comment says allot about you. Sorry to see it. For a person that seems to love to compair cultures and classify people in them you dont seem to like it your self. How Ironic..lol Thats it for me, Im out of this "conversation" lol See what I mean about turning a forum to a chat room. I led you right to. My point being made. I will now go back to my reading and helping people In Real Life! Bye all.... Good Example Monolith.. thanks for making my point!!
"wealthy, financially well off, rich or financially stable." what does this means? well...I think that those ladies just want to be sure that they dont leave their native country in sake of the guy who is not able to support his family. I also think that the words "rich" and "well off" have different meaning in different countries, for example for many of Russian girls a miidle class level in USA or Europe means rich ;-) So dont be scared, those girls are not looking for millioniers, they just want to be sure that when they go abroad they will have better living conditions then they had in Russia.
Guys, a comment from a neutral corner. A.) I'm living in America B.) I'm Irish(sort of like an Aussie, we kept the "pommie" handcuff and leg shackle trade going strong down under for years) C.)I live and work in New Britain Connecticut, which is mostly Polish, Ukrainian, and Russian. D.)My former girlfriend is Russian. Item: here in the inner city (about 3 blocks away, sadly) the welfare types all sport $125 sneakers and live on Porterhouse steaks. Not hyperbolie, I see them in the market on the 1st and 15th of each month buying half a cow, all expensive cuts. The women are virtually all obese, and the only use they have for a man is to keep them pregnant and employed as mothers. They despise their sons and coddle their daughters, who will support them after their youngest turns 18. It's an odd lifestyle, but for some at least, it beats working. Poverty it ain't, they live better than most Europeans. Next, Russian women (and men). As a Galwayman, I always thought I knew something about drinking. Wrong. The Russians I've partied with divide into two groups, the 80% who are stupidly pissed (read very drunk if you're a yank), and the 20% who stay sober enough to get most of the women. My ex, a medical student, was pretty, a borderline nymphomaniac, but otherwise lacking in anything passing for a personality. She wanted a glandular roommate for two years, after which she would head back to St. Petersburg and daddy's money (yes there are rich Russians). Me, dumb mick, I wanted marriage, kids, vacations on the beach, pick a cliche. after the abortion, she went home. O.K., enough "soap opera". So one Russian woman was less than a lady. But, most of her girlfriends were amazing, which is why I'm here looking around. I seemed an anomaly at Russian parties, someone who enjoyed talking with and listening to intelligent and attractive ladies without trying to hit on them.(If I had, my lady friend would have gelded me. Don't annoy a woman who makes her living with a scalpel). Kate was a bitchy exception, but if I hadn't been so stupidly fixated on her, I could have been in heaven. Most of them are truly classy girls, with a passion for "shaping" in the gym (always a worthwile effort), an understanding of world events,fine educations, and a legitimate liking for men, rather than what they can get from men, that is rare outside the deep south (God bless those "Steel Magnolias'". Southern girls are all tomboys at heart). As for the "wealthy, well off, rich, or financially stable" part, please note that the unwritten codex attended is "any of the above", meaning financially stable is quite acceptable. They want babies and a life guys, they have a right to look for a good provider. If they wanted Ivan Durek they could stay in Semipalatinsk. So, my advice would be to look in Russia or Atlanta. Those New York girls are cold and ruthless.