Help - How long to wait?

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Russian brides > Main Forum > Help - How long to wait?

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dr8754

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	Send: 2/6/2005 6:49:46 AM

Seeking advice so please respond and blast away (or not): Having emailed to my Plan A and Plan B (yes I do feel guilty), for only one month, my desire is to hop a jet to see either the A or the B (not that much difference). But the intellectual side says it's way too soon. How long do you guys wait from when emails turn to Dearest and Missing You's and Dreaming of You to then meeting in person? Neither A or B have asked me to visit them yet so should I wait until they do? I worry one of you other guys will steal them away? You cads. Oh well, Plan C may be even better.

crashnsplash

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	Send: 2/6/2005 7:14:24 AM

lol, my suggestion is you better hi-tail it over there asap. Because while the keyboard romeos are typing away, guys like me are over there not playing games.

danny3777

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	Send: 2/6/2005 7:21:54 AM

DR, If you don't jump on a plane then another guy will. He who dares, wins. Just keep a firm grip on your wallet and run her name(s) thru a google search first.

jetmba.

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	Send: 2/6/2005 9:04:08 AM

Actually since only about one in twenty of us who write to women ever get up the actual nerve to go over and meet one (I have gone, by the way, four times) you are more safe than you might think. Though I have to admit when I met a beautiful woman from Latvia through this service - it made me paranoid every time I saw that someone else had written to her! I'm taken by someone else now (from a different country) and she is also taken - by a guy who lives locally in Latvia (or maybe not anymore?). Her profile is no longer up. (The reason I question is that she sent me some very nice photos recently when she found out I was going to Moldova - and only last week asked me to visit her in Latvia this summer. I had to send my regrets of course. If I wasn't commited to my Moldovan - I would have sent a different answer.) If the two women live close to each other then maybe you could just sort of plan a vacation to see both. Tell them that you are a man of action and don't beleive in waiting too long. But it is ALSO best to tell each that you expect to see another. Be honest and fair about it. I learned the hard way that if one even slightly beleives that you are coming only to see her - you will not be able to get away or explain later. It just doesn't work that way.

jetmba.

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	Send: 2/6/2005 9:15:13 AM

By the way - ther is NOTHING wrong with having a Plan A and a Plan B for the first month - or a lot longer than that. In fact at your stage you might want Plans C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K and L. Even now - in the middle of a fiance visa application - I have alternative plans if it all falls apart. Things can happen. She might not like my place. She might not like my country. And as gorgeous and wonderful as I am - she might even change her mind. (Its happened before to OTHER guys. INS even mentions in its literature that if she comes on a fainace visa to marry YOU and she marries someone else. She cannot stay but has to return to her own country and apply again! (presumably a I-130F this time). My goals is to find a wife from an FSU country. I hope I have found her - but until the signature is on the line and beyond - I recognise the reality of different possibilities.

GLTALLTOAD

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	Send: 2/6/2005 1:19:54 PM

Dr, If you decide to visit after such a short time of knowing so little about any of the ladies, I would certainly keep my expectations as conservative as possible. It is simply not enough time to learn about another person's character and create a solid bond and comfort zone that can last if you're trying to build a long term relationship. Traveling to another country is in and by itself a great experience and worth every minute and cent you spend doing it. Enjoy the travel...it may come with a bonus! I, on the other hand, chose to wait to build a good solid friendship with me Lena (and other potential ones) before deciding who and where I would visit. The decision was made last fall, but our original plans to meet in January were changed. Now everything is set to meet in exactly 25 days 23 hours and 43 minutes..(but who is counting? :) In my case, the benefits of travel, sighseeing and playing tourist are the secondary bonus. I think there is little doubt anywhere that I am going to effing Siberia in winter to meet my woman as the main purpose. Good luck, mate.. toad

Norwegian

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	Send: 2/6/2005 2:46:54 PM

These guys are completely right!! What is there to wait for? GO, you cannot loose, if there is no love, you can go on with your search, and at the same time you got a vacation in a place you never have seen before :) But... If there is love.. be sure to be there before guys like us.. haha.. We don't sit around home waiting for someone to knock the door.. February 10th I am leaving to Tallinn again.. Second trip to Tallinn in 4 weeks... Lucky for me it is only 1 hour flight.. life is Wonderful right now:)))) .. it is only.. 3 days, 12 hours and 52 minuts left till I meet my princess again... But as Toad so nicely put it.. Who is counting?? :)))

izifaddag

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	Send: 2/6/2005 7:45:49 PM

This is tricky. Different strokes and all that. 20 days after writing to my lady I bought a plane ticket. Couldn't do anything about it till March but that is another story. Meanwhile we have been writing and calling for all this time. Soon as I bought those tickets things changed - for the better! They weren't bad before but they improved. It is all to do with being serious. As Jet mentioned above, I know what I am trying to do, it isn't a joke. I am not killing time by teasing FSU women. Also I was very realistic about what type of woman I wanted. I knew as soon as I hooked up with her that I had hit gold. What's to wait for? In my own case there will be almost exactly 4 months from the time I sent her my first email to receiving my first kiss at the airport. Logistics held me back. Maybe your situation is the same. Wess once told me that the emails, done right, will definitely create an extremely solid base for a future relationship. He was right!! As for choosing between 2, I would not say anything to the other one and do 2 trips. Personally I am not into splitting my time. It is better to have 2 weeks of quality time with one woman than split yourself between two. Also how would you like it if someone that you were starting to care about told you they were going to visit you after they had first visited another guy in Baltimore. Not nice. No one at a time is better.

jetmba.

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	Send: 2/7/2005 5:41:12 AM

OF COURSE - if you have the resources and the available time-off it is best to take two trips. I mean - who would argue that spending two weeks split between two beautiful Russian women would be as good as spending four weeks, two weeks alone with each. That's pretty obvious. Especially considering that you wouldn't have to explain to each that you were also seeing another. Again, pretty obvious. On the other hand - one thing I have discovered is that once a relationship of sorts has been established between yourself and a Russian woman - they pretty much expect a regular schedule of contact AT LEAST weekly at a constant time. Of course. I suppose you can make an excuse of some sort - but I couldn't justify that myself - so when I went to Latvia I kept my regularly scheduled call to my other lady. I found a very secluded and quiet phone booth (couldn't risk her heraing Russian in the background) and made my call from there. I should mention - there IS one slightly insidious reason for perhaps seeing two women on one trip - and telling them BOTH, of course, that you will be seeing another woman as well. Russian women tend to be EXTREMELY competitive. And this can be used to your advantage - if you know what I mean. (Hey, I SAID it was insidious!) NOTHING sets mine off more than the idea that I might have an interest in another Russian woman. I mean - she is gorgeous and 25 - I am ...ordinary... and 47 and yet my lady will become jealous if I even sit next to another Russian lady on one of those mini-busses or speak a word to another Russian woman. Like she has anything to worry about.

jetmba.

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	Send: 2/7/2005 6:13:40 AM

To anyone interested - there is a great book out there, (now out-of-print) entitled "To Russia For Love", written by Frank R. Coleman. Its the book that strated ME on this whole thing. Frank took a Romance Tour with European Connections (the same company that I went with - primarily because of Frank's book) to St. Petersburg (whereas I went to Odessa Ukraine). Frank met QUITE A FEW gorgeous women in the standard 12 day tour and is quite graphic regarding his experiences with each. I have to admit, he had quite a bit more physical contact with quite a few more women than I did, because each knew that there were others and that their time and opportuntiy to make an impression on him was limited. There are quite a few pictures in the book with each of the women that he met and several are quite beautiful. Frank, himself, looks like Seattle Seahawks coach Mike Holmgren (a reference that only Americans will understand). He eventually married one of the women (was not just playing around) and presumably they lived happily ever after. The book doesn't just cover Frank's exploits. It also contains (now somewhat dated) reference material on agencies and the differences between the cultures. One chapter of the book is entitled "The Ten Dumbest Things I've Seen American Men Do In Pursuing A Russian Wife" and I may (perhaps) be guilty of doing the first "Dumbest Thing" myself - which is "Many men fall in love with the first woman who treats them halfway decently." The lady I am engaged to I met at the first Social (Frank attended and met ladies at each of the three - I barely attended the second and didn't attend the third). The lady I am engaged to was my second actual date - but my first serious date. Consequently, I did not have nearly as much....(physical) "experience"... as Frank did. But I am happy with the way things turned out. If anyone is interested in the book - it is a great read and worthy of looking for. You can find copies on the internet. The name and author were given above. Its published by Red Star Publications.

nasfan6

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	Send: 2/7/2005 6:51:45 AM

Jet If he looks like Holmgren, there is hope for all of us LOL!!! Has anyone seen Mike Holmgren and Craig Stadler in the same room?

jetmba.

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	Send: 2/7/2005 6:56:43 AM

I didn't actually know who Craig Stadler was, so I looked him up on Google. Yeah - he does have a similar appearance to both Holmgren and Coleman. Maybe he's a little heavier. But you get my point - if that guy can do it we ALL can.

GLTALLTOAD

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	Send: 2/7/2005 12:27:58 PM

I believe it, Jet. Why not? "...El hombre es como el oso, cuanto mas feo, mas hermoso..." (Man is like a bear, the uglier he is, the more attractive he becomes) If you go to any agency website that displays their succesful stories, you will see a wide variety of western male trolls married to beautiful looking women. Fat, short and/or ugly men who have integrity, are devoted to the ones they love, are good providers and take good care of the woman they love have a much better chance of finding an attractive woman in another country to marry. Fortunately for us, fugly old farts, foreign women seem to care more about how her man is going to treat her than how he looks or even how old he is. toad

jetmba.

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	Send: 2/7/2005 1:03:49 PM

Hey wait a minute. My fiance has taken to calling me her "bear". Does that translate into me being her "ugly old fart"? Not sure I like it as much anymore. (She's named another specific part of me as well - I won't mention what she calls it but it's interesting. Something I never would have called it. :))

GLTALLTOAD

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	Send: 2/7/2005 1:18:18 PM

now now now now... I bet she means that you're 'hung' like a bear, lol....<rolling eyes>

Dale E

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	Send: 2/7/2005 1:55:05 PM

"Bearly" better looking than a monkey

jjbarrier

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	Send: 2/7/2005 5:29:01 PM

Jet, are you really furry on your back??

jetmba.

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	Send: 2/7/2005 5:42:43 PM

NOT AT ALL.... She hates guys who look like that and fortunately I am not one of them.

scottlf

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	Send: 2/7/2005 5:50:04 PM

Taking a note from an old Disney film, maybe have provided her the 'bear" neccesities of life?

jetmba.

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	Send: 2/7/2005 6:21:16 PM

Okay - to be honest (and I am revealing a very personal fact here because you PEOPLE keep trying to get to the BOTTOM of this) I will tell you the whole story. We are in the sauna, right.... its an ungodly place where according to the thermometer, anyway, the temperature gets to 130 degrees (F not C) and its suppose to make you feel healthy. The air burns the inside of your nostrils (literally) and I think the healthy feeling part comes because it feels SO GOOD when you get the hell out of there. (Kind of like the guy who when asked why he beat himself in the head with a stick replied - "Because it feels so good when I stop.") Actually, even though the sauna is really that hot it isn't so bad. Nothing is all that bad when you have an incredibly beautiful nude 25 year old woman with you. Its amazing what you can not only tolerate - but what can seem great!! But getting back to my story.... she always insisted that I jump into the cold swimming pool first. Why? So that I could catch her and keep her head from going under (which tends to mess up her hair). Being the manly man that I am - I would just jump in - and never utter a sound - as internally my body cried out in shock and I could almost FEEL shrinkage occuring. She, on the other hand, would dip one toe in and practically commence in screaming already. By the time she actually jumped into my arms, her voice was in full force and I am convinced that the suond waves eminating from that little lady alone vibrated the water molecules and raised the temperature a few degrees. I lost my story again... Okay... when I jumped in of course I made a big splash. Its a guy thing. And she wanted to take a picture with my digital camera. Save for my bare ass, the picture looks like a perfect image of a bear jumping into the water. Its blurry and the way the light hit it, that's what happened. THAT WAS HOW SHE DECIDED I was her big bear. Now see how cooperative I am - I even told you guys the whole story. Its posted to the internet for the whole world to read.

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