You weren't out of line there is much truth in what you say. Unfortunately I am naturally not the cave man type and I don't like women being treated that way. However I have seen that approach too many times to not know that it is true. Not being more of an asshole and really being capable of genuine love has cost me nothing but pain over the years. I am too old to change now though and I have been lucky enough to have found someone who actually appreciates these traits. Bingo at last!!
I can say this, that if anyone tried that with Marina they wouldn't last 5 seconds. She met some Deutchland Uber Alles guy last year before I came along and he tried to tell her that she was doing things wrong with her daughter. She threw him out of the apartment. Why this guy thought he could talk I have no idea. He was in Russia trying to find work because he was running away from child support and a wife in the Fatherland. Couldn't flee to the USA because he couldn't speak English.
HAHAHAHA...isn't it funny when non-parents or 'ZERO to the left parents' engage on diahrrea of the mouth and start giving unsolicited parental advise?
"OK, Dr. Zeus...explain to me why you think I should use corporal punishment or like you said 'lay a good belting' on my kids when taking their favorite activity or hobby from them sends a much clearer message of accountability for their actions?.."
I invite anyone to ask my kids what kind of disciplinarian I was raising them, lol...they'll both tell you I was the worst asshole that ever lived. They often asked if they could get a belting, instead of no TV or no social life or any of the other things I took away from them.
Izi, there are two sides to the coin when it comes to sharing life with someone else who has a child.
There must be a clear understanding about what roles you will play when they live in YOUR home.
Just because she's not your kid does not mean you should not have a say on her upbringing.
And that's an entire different can of worms altogether..:)
We discussed this and I have a simple solution. Alina is Marina's daughter and at this point in time I have absolutely no right at all to tell her to do anything or criticise her handling of her. If and when we marry the handling of the girl will be by consent not force. In other words until Marina accepts that it is ok it will not happen. However it has to be said that the kid is great, Marina has it completely under control and that child desperately wants the love a father can give not a good 'belting'. The girl is 12 now, growing up fast, she needs someone to just be there not turn her world upside down. It could be traumatic enough changing countries. It is definitely a play it by ear thing. Believe me Marina has her under control. Or does the girl have Marina under control:))) I don't know but they are happy anyway.
A future child would be a different issue. That is far more of a we thing. Even if adopted. Bridges to be crossed one at a time I think.
The German was running away from a situation that he had greviously caused. He teased the daylights out of a woman in Germany for about 15 years. Finally getting her pregnant. He didn't love her at any point he freely admitted this. He married her not taking it seriously and when the chips were down took off. Nice guy!!
Then he had the gall to tell a single mum who had been doing quite nicely for some years, thank you very much, how she should raise her child. On the second visit no less, as in 2 nights!
Pissed covers it I think!!