I don't buy this maturity thing. FSU girls are less mature than their American cousins.
It is part of their charm for me.
For example, Alina, Marina's 12-year-old daughter, has a Barbie dollhouse and lots of dolls. She plays with them all the time. She has an imaginary friend with a name I can't recall and plays with her toys all the time, she also has a vivid imagination constantly drawing cartoon books of her own. They really are very good. She makes fun of her own mother in the cartoons and they very funny.
An American girl of 12 is tinkering with makeup and expressing interest in boys. Society pushes this at them through television.
I love the fact that Alina is a little girl, she is how a child is supposed to be - a frigging child not a miniature adult.
Now we fast forward. Girls in the FSU seem to go for the marriage thing as soon as possible. It is a societal ideal - married by 19 and with the first baby by 21. Old married lady by 30.
Does that meant they are mature ??? Of course not. It just means they got married by 19 and had a baby by 21. It means nothing.
Marina told me that she was still tinkering with her barbie dolls at 18!!
Later things change. The marriage falls apart, the guy is drinking, another baby comes along and the guy doesn't help, she has an abortion then divorce. She is alone with a child. Suddenly she is VERY grown up.
Now she recognises certain things that older men in the west are very aware of. Get your house in order before you start getting romantic. So she looks for a western man and parleys up her good looks for a satble life with an older man who can provide and is genuine in his affections.
It is the reverse of the west.
Actually the girl from Latvia is cosiderably YOUNGER. She is just 21 years old. She is sweet beyond words - and I received one of the most touching letters I have ever received in my life from her after she learned that my son had died. She wanted to be with me or me with her immediatly saying that I needed to be with someone who loved me then and there at that moment. She said a lot of other things too. That letter remains one of the niccest I ever received,as I said. I may consider her if this does not work out.
But I really do hope this works out. I really am in love with my Moldovan. NOT the one from Latvia.
I sit here, with high anxiety. It is now 6:00 (18:00) in Bucharest. The embassy closes at five (unless an interview is going on that was started before 5:00?). I called her hotel moments ago but she has nt returned. Just today I found information on the interview process that I wish I could have passed on to her before the interview and I wonder if I properly prepared her of if she knew what to expect. I wonder if she got a decent interviewer (in Bucharest the have a very bad reputation).
I even, secretly, wonder if she might have botched the interview intentionally - so that she can stay with mommy but yet tell me that we tried and I can't justify looking elsewhere. (Then I try to forget that idea.)
Yes you are right...you seem to have got really good lessons! Its all true about Russia! My boyfriend says brit men hardly get scammed in Russia beacuse they are really capable to learn of life! At the same time americans seem to buy that maturity-family orientation myth and get scammed several times.
Unfortunately there are certain women in FSU who are tapped into this conundrum and take advantage. Not necessarily conciously. Not necessarily deliberately.
We all know about scammers although I do tend to think that we have got to a point that we are starting to see scammers a little too much.
I think that a lot of this is caused by circumstances. Example. Marina is in trouble at work, no details, it would take too long. Suffice to say that she is short of money and I have been and will continue, to help. Should we go our separate ways that will stop.
Her problem is not her fault and it is genuine. It is Russia not Marina. The thought of redecorating her apartment is for both of us utterly ridiculous.
In fact regarding this we have been going through an interesting experience. I am renovating my apartment. It is a pigsty right now and has been for over a year. I am working on a bathroom which I have taken back to the studs and concrete and built out from scratch. As it progresses I send Marina photos. She watches this transformation takng place and loves this process. Now I am getting ready to do the bedroom etc. I consult her on colors and design. Why? Because it is a sign of my seriousness.
Relationships are a question of history. Building a joint past together.
"Remember when I drank too much vodka and followed it with a beer?" that bond of shared experiences is what binds people together. Real people I mean, grown ups. Therefore I believe that getting Marina involved in the renovation of my (maybe our) apartment is a bonding exercise, even if it is by remote control.
Now I will shut up and wish Jet the very best wishes in the world. Good luck to your girl in Bucharest, I hope the interview is a breeze. She should be safe and return home to Moldova with a new commitment to you. All the luck in the world to you both.
You know I am 49 years old. I have lived all over the world and travelled extensively. I can honestly say I have never in my life been scammed by anybody ever. It has nothing to do with FSU women. It is a principle.
I guess we are. I love doing this work and Marina enjoys looking at the pictures. Wait until I start on the kitchen. I already sent her picture sof my bedroom complete with bed and said that there was something missing. HER !!! She guessed and laughed.
Jet- First and most of all, I wish you good-luck. But I have read your post about this girl for close to a year and a half now. Most of your posts have always been filled with doubts about your relationship with her. Quite frankly, I wouldn't have been able to keep her happy for more than one visit. She would have bankruptured me by then. Maybe I am wrong but it has always sounded like she has had only two main interests in her life. Her mother and your money. I hope I am wrong.I would never tell you to get rid of her because only you and her know where the relationship stands. Besides that, Me telling a 49 yr.old guy to dump a beautiful 25 yr.old girl makes ME sound mentally ill. Anyone who has read your posts can tell that this looks like trouble. Not to say that it can't work out though. I will be marrying my Jenia for one reason only. That reason would be our love for each other. She is also a pretty woman but at the end of the night when the make-up comes off, she is rather plain looking but that is when I love her the most.She will get right up in my face and smile and tell me how much I mean to her. You can tell when a person is deeply in love with you and you with them. That is something you have been questioning in your relationship with her and in your posts. It sounds as though she has to change herself some when she makes it to Milwaukee, Wisc. or everything is off. I know you are excited about her coming and I wish you the best and hope everything works out great for both of you.
or should that be Welcome her to you? Congrats to the two of you, and from now it can only go forward. Forget any possible detours, but I'm sure you know where to focus now.
Cheers (with a drink in hand)!
Dale - I wish you had the editing feature too - becasue I am not 49. I am 47. while the difference may not seem significant it is to me.
That money might play a part is certainly a consideration. And it may still e a problem. It is not as if this woman is swimming in luxury and I am breaking my back to buy her MercedesBenzes, in differnt colors - one for each day of the week.
In relative terms (of course) she has very little money. And far from her begging for luxury items I give her (again relatively) small small amounts. I paid $160 for a steel door (including installation). about $250 for plumbing. $50 for lighting fixtures. About $100 for wall repairs.
She has asked for $500 for a washing machine, $250 for a water heater (boiler) and about $400 worth of furniture (wardrobe and chair). So far I have not given her any of these things - NOR have I EVER suggested I might.
But suppose I did (just suppose). What would everything her heart desires in the last two years I have known her add up to $1,610??? (Keep in mind sofar it is only $460)
How many of you would consider $460 or even $1,610 ridiculously exrtravagent demands for a woman to make over the course of two years?
Last time I flew there - just the flight cost $1,110. MORE THAN TWICE AS MUCH AS I HAVE EVER SPENT ON HER APARTMENT IN TWO YEARS!
I consider myself FAR from rich but these numbers are a PITTANCE compared with what an American girl might expect you to pay over the course of two years. No where near even TWO GRAND to compleely improve her apartment!
What do I get in return -I get to see the beautiful smile on the face of my incredibly gorgeous intelligent, loving caring, funny, compassionate 25 year old fiance, who has already gien this 47 year old more wonderful time than three years ago I could have imagined possible.
Its cost me $460 so far in apartment improvement. I hate to consider these things in purely economic terms - but if I must - I think I'm getting quite a bargain.
My lady is gorgeous - even among other Moldovans (and that is saying A LOT) but I've ALWAYS considered her to be more beautiful afterthe make-up comes off.
First time I really ticked her off was one morning when I realized just how sweet and beautiful she was without makeup. So I got a camera and tokk a flask picture of her face. She woke up with a start and she was SORT OF ticked - but what can I say.
People who kow her, who I have shown that picture to admit that she is perhaps even more beautiful in that wonderful picture.
I dwell on money sometimes. That's probably true. I'm an MBA. Comes with the territory. But this woman had MUCH going for her and I have a very wonderful fiance in so many ways.
Great jet you did it in uncharted territory and without a lawyer I assume. Congratulations!!! Relax now, try to have some fun, you've got a whole three months to make your judgement. It may not sound too loong, but if you two are meant to be together, you'll know it before the end of the three months. Best of luck!!