Gullible guys who in actual fact keep all that vermin alive, that's what. It is the same with beggars: if nobody gives they disappear, or as the Zambian Government displays on Lusaka's biggest billboards "Don't make beggars perpetually dependant on you".
I feel lucky, I've heard all the horror stories. After 9 months of writing Larissa and during our first meeting I asked her why she never inquired about my income or financial status. In true FSU prose, she said "a clever man knows how to take care of his family, What I want is your love attention and affection and fidelity and that is something money cannot give." I knew she was a keeper at that moment!
As for falling victim to scammers and spendthrifts, in the immortal words of that great american philosopher Forrest Gump, "Stupid is as stupid does."
Personal or internet correspondence?
It all begins with the way you present yourself to any and all FSU lady through your profiles.
A short, direct and impossible to misunderstand paragraph declaring you have no intention of financially supporting an eastern european mistress under any circumstances does wonders keeping the scammers away and attracting the honest ones who will not hesitate to tell you they appreciate your confidence.
FSU women, the honest ones, at least, want a man who knows where he stands, where he is going and how to get there...even if he does not offer any guarantees that he will succeed.
Have not found this to be an issue. It is simple. No honest, genuine FSU woman will ask for anything anytime ever.
I have given Marina money to buy groceries or just insisted on paying myself. I don't expect her to pay at a theater or nightclub or restaurant. I have sent her money twice.
Once to get my 1 year invitation letter and again (as a surprise) to fix her car. She never asked me for that money for the car, she was in a jam and was shocked that I helped her. She is so used to fighting through life alone that even when a boyfriend unexpectatedly gives help she is surprised. I am just glad I was able to help.
Loopy how hard can this be? You know the slogan around here.
DON'T EVER SEND MONEY UNLESS YOU PERSONALLY KNOW THE LADY AND CIRCUMSTANCES.
End of story, it is simple. Dump this little bloodsucker and move on. There are thousands of wonderful women out there who would love to have a genuine relationship with you.
"build it and they will come" LOL
Toad you are correct.
I told Larissa I would only make two guarantees to her in life. One that I would love her until the day I die and two the only bed I would ever sleep in was hers, after that I told her there were no guarantees on anything, wealth cars etc. the material aspects.
Also these women are very keen on if you are organized in your life.
Do you have a plan, what is the structure etc. And confidence is a key also optimism rates very high with them. I had to learn with her, yes she was looking for a better life, not better way of life. What I admire the most in her besides her wonderful heart and trust and belief in me, is the fact she materially has nothing compared to us and is an extremely happy person. I can not imagine the typical american woman living like her and not constantly bitching how life has screwed her over. Larissa not only has my love, but my respect for being a good and decent human being and goes about her life with optimism and hope. It really amazes me everyday. I'm not going to hammer american women, but the character quality between the two are 180 degrees apart.
Since I always say Lena's character, looks, background, skills and disposition can run circles around every american woman I know the diferences would be something like 360 degrees times however long it takes her to get tired of running circles around them...:)
I liked what you wrote. This is what I like also. Women here just do not know how lucky they are and how simple life can be here, compared to what the take every day in their stride.
My first and now my current lady, have never asked about material things. They do not know if I even own a vehicle, let alone what value or how flash it looks.
I have given the same promises as you have. This is what they want most too.
The smartest thing I ever did in my life was to go to Mariupol Ukraine, and find the love my parents had. When she was married, she didn't even have a engagement ring let alone a wedding ring. I would have loved to had my camera when I gave it to her, talk about small eyes getting very big. I bought her a 3/4 carat solotaire and you think I bought her a 10 carat diamond. The appreciation I receive from her for the smallest of things I do for her is amazing. She is taking driving lessons now and I asked her what kind of car she would like and her answer was a little red or black one. Not a BMW or Mercedes or that lot, just a little red or black one. I would love to be there for those lessons LOL! I know I am very lucky to have her. Her cell phone broke this week, I said go buy another one I will send you the money, she said no she will get hers fixed, I said let me know what it costs to repair it, she told me not to worry about it because it wasn't that much and she would have it back in a couple of days. Not all these girls are scammers, golddiggers etc. Men who fall for those kind of women are their lawful prey. I like many others here took my time to find the right one. I can't wait for her to come here, because I will spoil her little ass just because of the person she is and I know it will be appreciated. All I can say, it is worth the trip the time and the money for a lifetime of happiness, because I know here in the states my search would take forever because the really good ones are long gone!
no offence intended, but by reading the above I somehow hunch that Mike has both feet planted in different soil than you seem to have. No, I'm not familiar with your environment, no hands-on experience with/in it, and also his surroundings may differ from yours, quite likely in fact.
Your blunt sense of humour, although seemingly wearing off a bit, no doubt contributes to the impression you sometimes make here (note: here, maybe only here), but some of your blanket statements towards American women I regard as a bit one-sided. From them the impression is created that simply no fine women are present, and of course this cannot be true.
I'm sure however that Nas will side with the brunt of these statements of yours, but he clearly also realizes full well that good ones do exist indeed. That's a universal phenomena, same for the fact that these tend to be taken first. Also in the FSU, why should they be different, it is only that we, WM, seem to think that their 'leftovers' are very desirable still because we judge with our standards, and compare them to our 'leftovers'.
The global difference is an on average higher education, a way higher capacity to adjust to circumstances (which is also a sign of intelligence) due to experience, an average appearance we perceive as prettier, and the cultural difference of being prepared to accept a bit (not a LOT) older husband. Add the, also cultural, fact that they are used to keep their figure trim to retain their competitiveness in their surrundings, and I'd agree with you that all that is 'attractive'.
Now acclimatize them in the West, a place where financial competition and status symbols are the prime driving forces, in quite a different way then they are in the FSU. What will change first you think?
EVERY ONE of my comments is unapologetically one sided...:))
I usually have only one position by the time I'm done with my thought process.
Do I leave room for adjustment or complete change?...Of course.
But if it helps you feel better, YES, there are good women in the US happily married and doing everything they can or must do as a devoted team player under the household roof.
But these are the exceptions to what the overwhelming reality of life with US women is these days.
The barbs and sarcasm shots I take about US women here are nothing compared to the constant media and legislation campaign to pussify, subjugate and demonize the US male. That is also a harsh reality.
In my never humble opinion, it is a social phenomena of historic proportions.
I do not agree with the parallels you make about women as leftovers between american and FSU.
Lena outclasses ANY american woman I have ever known, but she is also a class act in Russia among her peers.
She is the cream of the crop here, there and eeeeevvverywhere (a Beatles song favorite..:)
Lena also has more common sense in her left pinky fingernail than any of the domestic women available to me here.
I credit her education and strong family background as the strongest factors that turned this adorable woman into the spirited, ambitious and goal oriented person she is today.
She is not the only FSU woman I was interested in, corresponded or chatted with since the summer of 2003 when I first sought to talk to women from other countries. I had plenty or time and opportunity to compare, ask the multitude of questions I wanted answers for and listen to their concerns, stories and daily life events.
TD, you have to accept that although financial stability is a nececcesity here not everyone in the US and even California accepts material gains and status symbols are their primary driving forces in their core value scales.
Even if the majority does, women like Lena will succeed here because their goal is to find BALANCE in life, not solely material gain or status symbols...
Lena words when I told her I am not rich and I do not spoil women with material tributes: "What's the use of being rich financially if it means we still have a poor family or love life, poor spirituality...or worse, poor health?"
Lena and I want it all, no doubt about it, but we want it well balanced. Without sacrificing the harmony needed to build, manage and ensure prosperity for our new family.
(Here I go again with my hedonistic mantras..:)
In the above I see an anticipating man, and rest assured I'll be the last to condemn hedonism - after all I'm not your neighour :)
Toad, you're so used to the fact that you're surrounded with all kinds of wealth, in fact you're nearly suffocating in it, that it must be hard to realize it or to distanciate from it. I know, I moved from a very first to a very third world, and the silliest of things were not available. Or they were, but at a lidicrous premium, and to a certain extent this still is true.
Not where my roots lie, and not where you live, but to an, unknown for me, extent this is true for the FSU as well, and it is this transition I am talking about. Coming from an under-developed (no offense) world into an exceptionally well developed one must have consequences, same like vice versa which I've done. You also have done what Lena is going to do, moving up the economic ladder so to speak - at least if I've read correctly between your lines.
Put it this way - how has this affected you?
I'm going to answer this a bit tongue in cheek. First of all Toad is a resident of California. That being said, you would have to understand the typical Cali person. Second you would have to understand where he lives in San Juan Capistrano. First of all Californians do it better than the rest, are more cerebral than the rest and they are never wrong. The only difference between a Californian and a New Yorker, is they have a more refined way of telling someone to go to hell.
Most of Toads diatribe here I think is a lot of smoke! He's probably a decent human being, with the same concerns and fears we all have. Most Californians like to provoke responses out of people. Hell since he met Lena, his acerbic wit has toned down dramatically. Californians or transplants are ego driven, hell who isn't but you just have to read his posts and read between the lines.
I won't argue with his media and legislative castration of the american male, but hell, most of that tail wagging comes out of liberal states like California and the eastern elites. I won't degrade american women, I just don't like their agenda in life and I also won't say my little Angel outclasses any american women I've met, What I will say about her, is she is a class act in her own right, she's extremely bright, has a gentle nature and I adore the hell out of her and love her dearly. She may outclass many women, but that doesn't really matter to me, all that matters is her happiness and the rest will take care of itself. All I will say is she is one of the most decent human beings I have ever had the pleasure to spend time with, and I am very lucky to have her love and affection!
I not only come from an underdeveloped country that suffers from endemic and terminal corruption at all levels; I was also raised on the edge poverty by the most dignified, wise and committed woman I have ever known in my life. She had to scrub other people's toilets to earn enough to feed her two children.
When I came to California I did not do it looking for a welfare check or even a corporate salary to trade my life in.
All I wanted was an opportunity.
I got many...I missed a few, I mismanaged or wasted a few others and took advantage of others when I could get my webbed toes on them.
Life is good now, TD.
The wheather is here, I wish you were beautiful sort of attitude with me these days ...:))
The kids have grown to be well adjusted and hard working individuals with above average performances, my family in Argentina is well cared for.
I have friends who support me and clients who respect me and appreciate me.
And the love of this one good woman has definitely distracted my ascerbic energies, as you call them, because I have bigger fish to fry right now, mate...
I do not communicate with Lena, or even american women in the same venting manner I do or have done here, but the core beliefs, however, are the same.
I know once she gets here, I'll rarely come in again...the fish will get bigger and bigger :))
Someone else will have to pick up the slack much like we did when TimH and others moved on with their lives.
Humm...Lena wants me to write a book, lol. This last thought made me think of a title for it, lol..."The evolution of the western FSU skirt chaser"
you need to acknoledge ther eis no such thing as the "typical Cali" person, lol...
No such thing in a state where almost 1/2 of it's population is first or second generation inmmigrants and its peoples are so divided between the flashy south and the pot soking north...:)
Californians are not typical, but most will tell you to go to hell in a NY minute if need be...:))
Never said Californians were typical, but there is the typical Californian, Kind of a Zen riddle there. Kind of like a NY minute. And yes there is a difference between southern cal and the Humboldt county crowd. Though if I had my choice to go back to California again, I would prefer the Shasta, Redding area over Southern Cal, though I did enjoy living in El Cajon, mixture of northern and southern california, where the Rolex meets the bong!
Interesting thought? What do you perceive as changing first? My situation is a bit unique in the fact that Larissa and I are only 3 years apart in age. At 43 she looks in her late 20's to early 30's
She always wants to look well. She lives in a Larger Metropolitan area, this is my biggest concern, since I live in a smaller community, but only an hours drive from three larger cities. She has told me that living in a smaller crime free city is okay and not a major concern to her. I'm not too much worried about the material aspect with her, but a concern with her age maybe not being resiliant to change as a younger person. As for adjusting to circumstances, I will agree with you there and not much of an after thought with me. She has worked extremely hard to perfect her English in the last 8 months, and I don't think there will be much of a communication barrier for her with the exception of slang. The cultural aspect is something we both have discussed, I told her I would not americanize her, and I want her to bring her culture and traditions in our home.
As in Christmas, we will celebrate one with my Daughter and then have a Traditional Ukrainian Christmas after an American Celebration. She may live in another country but I don't want her to lose who she is as a person and the one I fell in love with that is Ukrainian. I am curious to see what changes she goes through and how she adapts to the environment she will live in. This for a woman who does not have a car, a washer and dryer, microwave, a home, land and a garden she dreams of, her own personal sewing room. It's a hell of a shock coming from having very little and the things I listed, are to her luxuries and are normal everyday life for me. Then poof suddenly she has these things? It will be interesting to see what happens
Well Mike, my wifes city has probably 5 million people and my city maybe has a half million. Shes still kind of shell shocked by the change. She calls where we live now a village. Its not easy for her at all, but shes doing ok getting adjusted.