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GLTALLTOAD

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	Send: 6/8/2005 7:43:02 PM

This morning I had a teeth cleaning appointment at the dentist's office. Liz, my all time favorite dental hyginiest was eagerly waiting to hear all about my March trip. Now, Liz is a highly qualified person in her field and I always ask for her when it's time to schedule, she is in her mid 40s, married with a nice family and a husband of over 20 years. I told her in February I was going to Siberia so this is the dialogue: Liz: "I want to hear all about your trip to SERBIA"... Toad: "SIBERIA, Liz...it's in Russia, Serbia is part of the former Yugoslavia in Europe, not Asia..." Liz: "Oh, really?...are you sure? You know, I'm pretty good with geography. Did you really go somewhere?" Toad: "Yes, Liz I did...I went to Siberia to meet a very nice lady and her family..." Liz: "Russia, uh...was it cold? Toad: "Yes, Liz..it was very cold. About -10F at times, but March is not the coldest month of their winter. January is usually the coldest" Liz: "So what do people do in SERBIA to survive...are there any roads there?" Toad: "Yes, Liz, they have paved roads, some cobblestone streets and they have some cars to put on those roads, imagine that... And believe it or not they even have some airports...with planes full of people..." Liz: "I bet you missed the Califronia whether compared to the cold of SERBIA.." Toad: "SIBERIA, Liz...it is SI-BE-RI-A. Let's get on with the teeth work, please.." Liz: "Sorry...uh ok" Liz: "how did you like the food there? Toad: "Luuffhhheedd eet, eet wuuffhh gghhhrreeaadd..(loved it, it was great) Liz: "You know, Gustavo, you have to be careful with russian women, a lot of them are trying to scape the country because it's vey bad there" Toad: "bbhhrreellhhyy? hhaa bbaasshh eesh eet, thhell mee...(really? how bad is it, tell me) Liz: "Well, I know there are a lot of them here already married to many good american men that to put it honestly, deserve better" Toad: "Bbhheetthahh wwhhuuaahh?..(Better what?) Liz: "Well, a better woman, of course...an american woman!" Toad: "Lhhish, whuuaahh mmhhaishh eeuhh zhhing aahhmeeuuihann whhoommeenn aahh bbheetthaah ffoohh eehhneeuunn (Liz, what makes you think american women are better for anyone?) Liz: Well, because this is the best country in the world, that's why!! (indignant tone) Toad: "Lhhisshh, ffhhlleesh, ffeenneedzhh tthheen beellh dhalk (Liz, please finish, then we'll talk" After she finished, I told her in a nice friendly tone: "Liz, I like you...you're a very attractive woman devoted to her family and her husband. I know your family and I like every one in it. You're all good people. But women like you are not readily available to single avaialble men in this country. You know that. I know that. and as much as I don't ever want to see it happen, if you ever stop being the attractive devoted mother and wife you are, I would not blame John for looking for another family oriented woman from another country. THAT is the main reason why many american men look for and find foreigners to marry. Say 'Hi' to John and the kids for me. Liz's mouth open wide in complete shock...when she finally able to close it she asked me if I had been talking to her husband in the last 48 hours. seems to be two days ago, John finally put his foot down and banned one of Liz's friends from ever coming over to the house again for fomenting discord within their family. According to Liz, his words were: "If you ever stop working out to keep yourself fit so I can be attracted to you, cut off your hair, neglect our family needs and becoming a loudmouth selfish bitch like that fat friend of yours, I will happily give you half of everything we own and I'll go on my merry way" toad

spirittraveller

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	Send: 6/8/2005 10:58:17 PM

Inspirational!

Worldtraveller

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	Send: 6/9/2005 4:32:12 AM

toad, i think you should confess, that you was in SERBIA and not in SIBERIA :-)))) well, it is a bit difficult for a non-american citizen like me to talk about liz�s knowledge of the world. but her skill in geography seems to express the level of teaching in american schools. the good part of the world stretches from los angeles to boston and then the kingdom of sodom and gomorrha starts. maybe too much mcdonald�s and too much daily soap-operas so that the real world is out of imagination. years back there was a test in an american college school regarding germany. the majority of the pupils was sure, that the acting german chancellor is adolf hitler........ toad, maybe you should explain to liz, that a good portion of the oil and gas,which she uses to warm her beautiful ass, comes from SERBIA, errrrrhhh.... SIBERIA :-) WT

Ditto

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	Send: 6/9/2005 6:19:37 AM

Wait!!! Now I'm really confused. I thought we were Sodom and Gomorah. We're the decadent West, right? That's why everyone hates us. WT, It most definitely is a statement about the quality of education in the US. I can't say it's the source of our ego-centricity, but it certainly is the institution that propogates the attitude.

nasfan6

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	Send: 6/9/2005 8:35:12 AM

Uh, now, the kids in school don't have a clue who Adolph Hitler is.Part of the agenda of the UN and the new world order. As for Cali women, geography lesson?Pleeeeaaaase!!!!!!They can give you landmarks in Cali, but beyond that the rest of the country they think you need a passport to go see. I bet she knows where Rodeo Drive is!

Worldtraveller

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	Send: 6/9/2005 10:56:29 AM

ditto, please give us west-europeans the honour to be the area of sodom and gomorrha. and slipping a bit to the east, there starts the kingdom of the devil (R. Reagan):-) adolf hitler is unknown to us-american pupils??? damn, we germans lost really all our reputation :-)))) WT

Cycleserg

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	Send: 6/9/2005 11:21:07 AM

I used to live in New Mexico. Albuquerque to be exact. You would not believe the people from Cali asking me why I would move out of the US. That's the school system in Los Angeles.

scottlf

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	Send: 6/9/2005 12:00:21 PM

Heh, reminds me of a classic skit on Saturday Night Live: Common Knowledge Bob Albert: Hello, and welcome to "Common Knowledge"! I'm your host, Bob Albert. You all know our champion Les Shermeyer, a high school guidance counselor. Now, let's meet our challenger, Jeanne Kirkpatrick, former ambassador to the United Nations. Jeanne, are you ready? Jeanne Kirkpatrick: Yes, quite ready. Bob Albert: Well, that's good, because we're going to start with you. What category, Jeanne? Jeanne Kirkpatrick: Well, actually, I've been a professor of History, so I decided to make it interesting, and I choose Literature. Bob Albert: Alright, Literature for $100, and the answer is: "Author of the 'Grapes of Wrath'. Jeanne Kirkpatrick: John Steinbeck. [ buzzer ] Bob Albert: Ooh, I'm sorry! Ernest Hemingway! [ approaches Les ] Les, you want to stick with Literature? Les Shermeyer: Uh.. no, Bob, let's go for State Capitols. Bob Albert: State Capitols, for $100: Oklahoma. Les Shermeyer: Oklahoma City. [ ding ] Bob Albert: Alright! Les Shermeyer: Uh.. let's keep going. Bob Albert: New York State. Les Shermeyer: New York City. [ dings ] Bob Albert: Very good, Les! Les Shermeyer: Let's go again! [ Jeanne looks on curiously ] Bob Albert: New Jersey. Les Shermeyer: Jersey City. [ ding ] Bob Albert: Whoa-ho! You're on a roll! Les Shermeyer: Let's go again. Bob Albert: Virigina. Les Shermeyer: Virigina City. [ ding ] Bob Albert: And last one. Washington. Les Shermeyer: Washington, D.C. [ ding ] Bob Albert: You swept through that category! And now, let's go on to..? Les Shermeyer: Literature. Bob Albert: Literature, for $200: Author of Christmas Carol. Les Shermeyer: Ebenezer Scrooge. [ ding ] Bob Albert: Okay! Les Shermeyer: Literature for $300, Bob! Bob Albert: Literature for $300: Author of Huckleberry Finn. Les Shermeyer: Tom Sawyer. [ buzzer ] Bob Albert: Ohh, sorry. The answer is Ernest Hemingway, sorry. [ addresses audience ] And now, let's take a minute to explain the rules to "Common Knowledge". Questions for our show are show are selected by educators from Princeton University to express a broad range of common knowledge that every American should possess. Answers for "Common Knowledge" are determined by a nationwide survey of 17-year-old high school seniors. And now, back to you, Jeanne.

Ditto

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	Send: 6/9/2005 12:37:13 PM

I was listening to a NY radio show last week and they did a Man On The Street series of interviews. One of the assistants would grab people walking by on the street and ask them to answer common questions for the host on-air. The host asked one young woman if she knew who Condoleeza Rice was. She responded that she wasn't from around there. She was from Pennsylvania. Ahhh! The bright future of society.

GLTALLTOAD

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	Send: 6/9/2005 1:13:23 PM

WT, So you think, Reagan is still president, uh? Now I don't feel so bad about those kids who think Hitler is still Germany's leader, lol... WT, It is not my place or purpose to educate american women. And whether you can live with her lack of information or not, poor happily married Liz has something most of us never had, lost or never figured out how to get, keep or deserve....yet. We can cut her and millions of others like her down to pieces for not knowing that our planet is not really flat at all, but women like her can do the same to men like us when it comes to keeping a family and marriage happily together for over 20 years. I actually look up to Liz and John, despite her lack of world knowledge and current events, that frankly speaking do not affect their daily family life all that much. I tell this and other anecdotes to Lena to help her prepare with the realities of living here and the onslaugh of casual discrimination she may face from the 'home players'. It is easy for me to communicate this things and stories to Lena because she also has the awareness that comes from traveling to many other lands and recognizes bias and discrimination among her friends, family and co-workers who have never been anywhere but claim to know more than they really do. It's sort of a semi benevolent tolerance towards those we like or care for that at the same time don't know what they're talking about. YES, the US educational system still sucks at all levels...and NO, I am not going to take responsibility for anyone else's children's education except my own three already bilingual offsprints. So go ahead and criticize the US all you want, but at least give some credit to women like Liz who can still run circles around each and everyone of us regarding family management. toad

ONEKINDMAN

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	Send: 6/9/2005 8:29:06 PM

I once had to go to my barber to get my teeth cleaned:) My dentist said she was offended by the large amount of pubic Hair stuck between my teeth :) and the smell of tuna. I tryed to tell her it was chicken but she would have none of that and sent me to the barbers.

nasfan6

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	Send: 6/9/2005 9:06:21 PM

Toad spare Lena Move from California, It will destroy her!Move to Nevada, in ten years you will have ocean front property!

izifaddag

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	Send: 6/9/2005 11:17:48 PM

This is hysterical :)))

ONEKINDMAN

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	Send: 6/9/2005 11:29:53 PM

Heres how stupid I can get true Story I kid not. Today nicest day so far I drive down to the car wash start washing the car I am washing it up real good the line of cars is getting very long behind the stall I am in. I get done and go to get in my car and the doors are locked :) the keys are inside the car and people are pissed:) wtf. One person wanted to fight me it was so funny I could not keep a straight face so Laughing the people were getting so mad Unreal. So we got a coat Hanger and I got the door unlocked but I could not resist riding the parking lot a couple of times and laying on the horn, Just so everybody there in my line Knew I was Finished :)

izifaddag

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	Send: 6/9/2005 11:56:55 PM

OKM You have bad eyes don't you? Does this car have big rubber bumpers 360??

ONEKINDMAN

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	Send: 6/10/2005 12:46:07 AM

70 %in one eye 40% in the other I can drive short Distances but that is it. I have had to pull off the road and have employees come get me It sucks but what can you do. Thats not a bad idea tomorrow I shall see if the boys will put rubber all the way around the car. You should of seen these people IZ the anger in there faces.

Dale E

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	Send: 6/10/2005 5:47:15 AM

Hey Toad! Can't wait to hear about your visit to the proctologist next. Line for line with the special effects please! :o) "A** Cleaning"

scottlf

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	Send: 6/10/2005 8:25:18 AM

It's nost just the Proctologist that visits that area. Back in 1999, I was getting my "exam", and I asked my doctor if he was using Y2K complaint KY jelly, JUST as he was about to "surprise me!" He paused a moment, and asked what I meant? I said the Y2K complaint version allows you to insert an extra two digits. He busted out laughing, uncontrollably. When he got control of himself, he muttered "Oh, God! I hope the nurse doesn't walk in, wondering what the hell is going on." LMAO at Dale!

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