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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Is this pretty comon with men seeking a Russian bride? Author Post groon Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/27/2005 3:17:15 PM   I got this from Elena's Models news letter today. I found it kinda disturbing. Married Ten Years A true-life story of USA male married to a woman 19 years younger than himself Many American men write to Russian women, and some of them get married. But what percentage of the marriages survive and thrive? All I know is that my own marriage to a Russian bride is still going very strong after ten years. Background In 1991, I saw several newspaper and TV reports about agencies and services which specialized in Russian brides for American men. I was 44 years old, and had never been married. The idea of a Russian bride had tremendous appeal to me, for the following reasons: 1. Although I had dated way back in high school because it was socially necessary, in general I hate "dating"--the whole awkward social process of asking someone out, going somewhere, making continuous conversation, etc. Even calling a woman on a phone was very uncomfortable for me, because I am a quiet, shy person, and there would always be uncomfortable telephone silences. Conducting a romance by letter was far more appealing, because a letter could be written gradually over a week's time. I loved the idea of being married. But it's like marriage is a castle surrounded by a forest of dating thorns. I wanted to get inside the marriage castle without having to fight my way through the thorns. I never thought I would find a simple way to do that, yet here was a way! 2. Although I have a successful career, I had very low self-esteem when it comes to women. In the past, whenever a woman was interested in me, I would think, "What kind of woman would be interested in a guy like me?" But with a Russian woman the situation would be different. Because I would not only be offering her myself, I would also be offering her America and all it's advantages and opportunities. So she's not just choosing me, she's choosing the package deal of me and my country. 3. I instinctively knew that because she was from a different culture I would be far more lenient with her, far less likely to be upset with her behavior and opinions, than with an American woman. I would make an extra effort to ensure our compatibility despite our differences. 4. Most Americans tend to take our country's standard of living for granted. A Russian woman would be much more appreciative of the standard of living here, and my average salary would not seem so inadequate to her as it might to an American woman. 5. All my life I have fantasized about being a hero, but in real life I'm just an ordinary guy. The idea of marrying a Russian woman does have heroic aspects, as though I would be riding in on a white horse, sweeping her up, and rescuing her from a bad situation, taking her to where she will be much better off. It would make me feel like a hero. 6. At the age of 44, I thought the ideal age for my wife would be between in her twenties. Such marriages (with the man 20 years older than the woman) are not very common in America, unless the man is famous or wealthy. But with the bad economic situation in Russia, it should be indeed possible to find a wife much younger than myself. 7. Having a bride come from the other side of the world is a very exotic, romantic, adventurous idea. 8. We both would be making an extra effort to make the marriage succeed. She would know that if the marriage failed she might have to return to Russia. So if she was upset with me about something, she would be less likely to say "I'm outta here!" And on my part, I would feel totally responsible for her--I would not just be her husband, I would also be her guardian, her guide, her best friend (indeed, her only friend for quite a while). ---------------------------------------------------- Maybe it's just me reading into it wrong but this guy sounds like a looser in life that ran to Russia looking for a woman that would over look his age and other possible flaws for a chance to come to the US. Someone he didn't have to really apply himself to be with. groon Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/27/2005 7:09:22 PM   oops Elena Petrova's mailing list olegnay Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/28/2005 9:20:58 AM   he he, great mailing list article. all points to feel confident about looking for russian brode:) are you still doubt about doing it? read above:) Ditto Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/28/2005 9:26:25 AM   I think that man should be put on a pedestal. That should get him out of the general population. Bagira Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/28/2005 12:07:32 PM   His point is: "I would make an extra effort to ensure our compatibility despite our differences" It is absolutely different from the common attitude of men, I am not sure that absolutely common, just the attitude to me that I had:" You are only a foreigner and I need not do any affords". izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/28/2005 5:46:36 PM   There are good things and bad things in there. The fact that he is still married after 10 years says a great deal about the man. Sometimes things don't quite come out the way that you wanted them to. Who is to say this guy is or is not a loser? It is impossible to say and I agree with Bagira. In my own case I am ruthless in my search. It is conducted playing with my rules but once the relationship is established it must completely change and no more is it by my rules alone. I learned through my last disaster and I have come to the conclusion that I ignore so called 'cultural differences' and even 'language bariers'. I have been very successful in fact a bit too successful. I have somewhat taken Toad's slightly arrogant stance and I must say it works. I want to stress before Bagira has a fit that this ONLY applies to the search not the relationship. The woman is not really privy to what is going on in my mind and I like it that way. Allowing a woman to lead you by the nose as I allowed with Marina is a mistake, a big one. I am going to Moscow quite soon to meet a very nice lady. This doesn't apply to her because she would not offer but this whole business of staying with someone you don't know is a good example of what I am talking about. I allowed Marina to talk me into that and it was a mistake. My Moscow lady would not do this so it is irrelavant. However I have yet another lady in Ekaterinburg (again) and I guarantee you that if I was to say I wanted to see her she would want me to stay with her. No way - again my rules. I also agree with something else the guy is saying. I have a great deal on the table. I am not talking about the material things but myself. I offer a great deal to a woman. However I think it is impossible to ignire the very real factor of America into the bargain. Also in my own case I am a European citizen as well. None of this can be ignored. It is definitely in the mix. I do not beieve for one second women do not weigh these factors up as well. They look for physical attractiveness, financial well being and then of course love. I don't think love is in first place. Now shred me :))) Maxirat Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/29/2005 3:16:55 AM   Agree !!! We look for beauty - brains - class etc etc. They are entitled to do the exact same I think. And yes do NOT stay at the women’s home for starters. The ones that want this do it for control more than to save you money !!!! jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/29/2005 11:44:42 AM   I think the guy makes some great points about what is down deep inside. He isn't caught up in the infatuation stage anymore and he is looking back in retrospect. MOST of us wouldn't be here if we were succeeding with the AMERICAN women of our dreams. Incredible American women ARE out there - they are just ususually married to someone else or completely "out of our league". Well in the FSU we are ALLOWED in the better league. But we can still strike out. After ten years of SUCCESSFUL marriage - this guy isn't in the "Kid in a Candy Shop" phase anymore to be sure. He is right where he wants to be - and where a lot of us want to be. GLTALLTOAD Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/29/2005 4:47:42 PM   If I ever end upthinking, acting or looking anything like that guy, please castrate me with a rusty weedwacker. I am surprised that you guys cannot see the difference between reality and prefabricated marketing ploy a little easier. Oh, that's right....I forgot. You found the story on Elena Petrova's website with a "true story" title preceding it. What am I thinking??? Of course it's a true story, right? Well, tell Dona Petrova she needs to hire western script writers if she wants western men to buy her crappy "wish western men really thought this way" reality stories. toad Bagira Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/29/2005 9:25:10 PM   I agree that the language is rather Russian-like (It looks like written by Russian lady) but there are two brilliant ideas in this post: First: Do not ignore cultural difference Second: "I would make an extra effort to ensure our compatibility despite our differences" izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/6/2005 6:24:42 PM   Yes - ignore cultural differences. Too much is made of this. We are not that far apart. This is often used to cover up personal flaws and I don't consider taking your shoes off at the door and putting on provided slippers enough of a difference to take any real notice of. If she comes across as a bitch then guess what? She IS a bitch. NEXT CASE. There are plenty of women out there that do not trade on the old 'cultural differences' ploy. It is a crock. The manner in which vodka is drunk IS a bit of a cultural difference but not poor behavior or lack of hospitality. I should know better than anybody. God knows I was on the sharp end of it. As many others I know have been too, both good and bad. Cultural differences Blow it out your ear Elena Petrova. Sure sells books though don’t it. It's manufactured guys. It is an excuse and not to be accepted. A sweet woman will come across as a sweet woman and that is that. Russia is an interesting place and a real treat to visit. However if you want to experience real cultural differences go to Morocco or Malaysia. Now that is a cultural difference. I know I have been to both places and even worked in Malaysia. Mysterious holy dances in the street that cross into ancient indian history in Guatemala. Strange body piercing with lances in Malaysia. That is a frigging cultural difference. Don't see too much of that on Borbon Street or Tottenham High Street. Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > Is this pretty comon with men seeking a Russian bride?
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