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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Forbidden love Author Post Alabella Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/13/2005 1:28:05 PM   Hello! Please, help me to solve my problem. I fell in love with a young man who is 10 years younger that i am (he is 20 and I am 30). What's more I am married and have a son (4years old), and i am a teacher at the university where he studies. You see, my husband does not love me any more, sometimes he behaves like a beast. Although he treats me badly, he loves our child. Olga. sharkhunter Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/13/2005 8:57:37 PM   Go see a marriage counseller and try to re-establish communication with your husband. Try to repair your relationship with your husband. When people are in a relationship for a long time, it takes a dedicated effort on both parts to maintain a loving partnership. It's very likely that you stopped communicating with eachother at some point, and resentment and hostility escalated until now. Seeing a couples therapist will help work out these issues and help you to reconnect. ONEKINDMAN Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/13/2005 11:28:34 PM   I agree with shark, and if that doesnt happen it is over between you two. Your Job is to teach and I believe mixing your personal life with A student can get you fired. So my advice stop dating him at least till he is out of the school you teach at. First try to resolve your Marriage. You cant stay with him because of the Child if your Marriage is not working Your Child will see through this someday. Get pro help. Best wishes. David Alabella Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/14/2005 7:56:30 AM   David, thank you for reminding me of what my profession really is. :) I do not have close relationships with this young man. We have never touched each other or even discussed our feelings.Mainly because of the fact that we are a teacher and a student. Of course my merital status is one more important reason for us to keep distance. All we can do is to smile and look at each other and be nice. We meet now and then at his job (he is a student and a part-time taxi-driver), I often go by taxi with my son to different children's clubs. He is always very kind and patient to us, attentive and caring. He is a very good boy, clever and calm. During academic year every week he came to my classroom to greet me, helped together with my students ( I do not teach him and never did, he is in his fourth year now,I only teach the students in their first and second years and I started to work for this University two years ago). As far as my marriage is concerned.........I would live with my husband for a hundred years tolerating his bad behaviour. I firmly believed that my husband was the only man in my life and it was my fate to be with him and accept him with all his faults. But suddenly i understood that my heart was with another man. It seemed as if my eyes had been shut.(And now I understand that my eyes were shut but my heart was open, available for another love, my love to my husband had died.)Now I am absolutely sure that I love another man. I do not know what is going to happen to my marriage. the happiness of my child is the most important thing in my life. ONEKINDMAN Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/14/2005 9:04:19 AM   Hello Alabella, Your not alone when you speak of your heart wanting to be with someone else. It happens and it is sad that you spend this long with A person and then realize it Might be over for good. I do not Know your Husband so I can not speak for him. 1. Are you willing to try to resolve your Marriage? If not then you answered your own question about what is going to happen with your Marriage (divorce) 2. Love and Lust are to Different Things, I am not telling you this because I do not believe you that your in love with this Boy. But you use the word Boy, and sometimes when that word is used A persons heart is confused and caught up in certain Kindness that one has not recieved at home. 3.Your Child is it boy or Girl? Happiness is key in there lifes also If your in A unheathy Marriage your child can and will become affected by this kind of Mental Picture. 4. Make sure you have A plan, why not speak to your Husband about Separating for A bit and see where things are going to go for both it might be the only way to save your Marriage or make you and your Husaband and Child Happy. MY SAYING: How can your heart really Know what is right when the Mind is so confused. is it Possible to trick your Heart into believing in other People that come into our lifes ? (Answer) Yes: Our Hearts are more likely to believe in Kind Strangers and then when A relationship is formed what can happen down the road? Fizzle. That is one reason for the Divorce rate so high. Sometimes we are caught up in the moment and our Hearts can not pick up on this kind of tells. David. Alabella Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/16/2005 10:56:06 AM   -Are you willing to try to resolve your Marriage? - I do not want to do anything to restore the relationship with my husband. But may be it is the wise thing to do. I do not know. On one hand it is good for a child to live with a biological father. As far as me is concerned, If the child didn't connect us? I would have left this man long ago. On the other hand. He doesn't want to change. Yes he gave up in a way. he listens to some of my comments about his wrong behaviour. I might hope that he can change gradually, bit by bit. Lets analize this day that we've spent together. Pluses: we spent a day together, we calmly discussed his work and problems he is having there, some politics, marriages(general problems)of owr relatives and friends (came to the conclusion that nothing is ideal), had dinner (three of us) in the restaurant.Minuses: he shouted at me, son, hit the son because the boy was disturbing him while driving a car;(well shouting is a usual thing for him), after we have come home ( I was the first to come, he went to park the car )he reproached me for not heating the dinner for him,went ot the livingroom with a bottle of beer to watch TV and wait for his dinner to be heated and brought, i can hear now he is making our son (who wants his attention) leave the room ("Go away. Stop doing this. Go away"). I think he wants ne to be the former, not protesting and demanding, trying to save our marriage at any cost. But i am sure I wont be what i was in the past. now everything is different. i'll try to teach him how to behave. Unfortunately i am not very optimistic about the result. -Love and Lust are to Different Things, I am not telling you this because I do not believe you that your in love with this Boy. But you use the word Boy, and sometimes when that word is used A persons heart is confused and caught up in certain Kindness that one has not recieved at home. - I was attracted to the young man not because he showed interest and kindness. A lot of other men show these things to me. It was some mutual attraction between us which i find very difficult to describe. Only after we were attracted by something unexplainable, he began to be kind and attentive, the more attentive and kind he became the more I was attracted and he warmer feelings I had. Then after we had communicated for a while I understood that he was not just a nice guy, but a thoughtful and clever, caring and patient person. ONEKINDMAN Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/16/2005 5:03:55 PM   Hello Alabella, You have many hard choices to make. I wish there were right words for me to tell you but I can not. That choice will be made when you say to yourself enough is enough and I have lost to much. If my Dinner was not warmed up, guess what would happen? I would heat my own dinner up eat it and still be the same as I was. Happy and fine:) The Young man you speak about sounds like A very nice person. Let me know what happens to you and stay in touch. David. Alabella Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/17/2005 8:20:30 AM   Okey.:) N()R Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/17/2005 7:46:50 PM   Olga, Your husband hit your 4 yo son, shouted at both you and your son, and was lazy enough to have a beer and expect to be served as the king himself?? I am sorry for being so sharp-edged but he sounds like history to me... To tell you the truth I think he just have to change to deserve your love, and do you think he will do that? I am sorry, but I don't... If this 20 yo student is the right choise for you? I don't think so. I think he is a result of the situation you are in. I think he is the lighthouse you need to find the path out of your situation. I think you are having feelings, and using them as an escape from the reality. Who knows, maybe the excitement would actually go away if you told your husband about it.. but then again.. who knows what he could do... I don't know your husband, I just read what you are writing, and this is my opinion about it. Am I right? I have no idea.. it is just what I think.. May be your husband could change.. may be there were some things you could do to get the lust and the love back into the relationship? I am sorry, I just don't believe in it... I think it would last for a short period, may be you would have a great time together, and then slowly I think you would fall back into the old pattern.. I guess you are from one of the FSU countries, and unfortunately there are some men out there that for some reason believe these women are robots without their own feelings and needs. I don't know if your husband is one of them, but it is a fact there are men like that out there - looking for a second mum to take care of them... Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > Forbidden love
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