I want to share my experiences of my trip to Belarus but also invite all comments, good and bad. I expect many bad but I seek you consul.
I went to Belarus Sept 1 and returned Sept. 5 to visit one woman I had exchanged letters with for two months. Felicedate (aka Alex with Belbride) help much with travel arrangements and coordination, I recommend him to any wanting help.
Background: I met and wrote about 70 ladies from fiancé.com, Elena model’s and friendfinder.com. I seriously exchanged letters with three women. Soon I selected only one to have serious letter exchange. She is from Vitebsk, Belarus; a wonderful lady with son. We first exchange letters June 24, 2005.
I admit to having problem with quick emotions. I flew to Belarus expecting world wind romance, engagement and filing of fiancé visa paperwork. My heart wanted and expected instant gratification. Instead, my lady of Belarus tell me “I only know you two months, wait”. Wait, a four letter word for someone wanting instant gratification.
Of course, I worry she will give me the ax at anytime but we had a wonderful time together. We visited the city, went shopping, ate many times at her flat, visited with her friend, talked a lot, played with her son, and generally got to know one another.
To her credit, she was very patient with me and my emotional upheaval.
After two months of letter writing and exchanging many photos, I had expectations of the person I was to meet. She was more beautiful, kind, understanding, gentle, more sexy-she exceeded my every expectation. I am very much in love but I will wait. My next plan visit is sometime in October 2005.
Okay, my friends, let me have it. Give me your honest input and advice.
I have to say you don't fool around. I have been talking to the same girl for a year and a half. Went and saw her four months ago and things went well. I think you have fallen in love with a dream. No women in her right mind would leave her country after only knowing a practical stranger for two months. These women have much pride in themselves and their country.
Thanks for your thoughts Ice. I do not feel I am in love with dream but I do respect your opinion. I do agree she is correct to use restraint and I am working to slow myself down, also. Again, I do appreciate your opinion.
In my opinion , that was a very honest and accurate statement on your behalf of the e-mail relationship that goes to the actual meeting. It is very normal what you experienced from her side and yours . Respect her honesty if your heart says you like her and she will respect you in return . It sounds like a good first realistic step . You can only go again in October and see what happens . I was reluctant to ask you earlier if you have ever met her before in person because i think you told us you were engaged to a one certain woman over there . But different things in different ways work for different people in different situations . Nothing is in a set pattern under the circumstances of finding a FSU bride. I look forward to hearing of your second trip and good luck
Good things come to those who wait. The serious ones will take some time to think. It is a tremendous decision they have to make. Especially if it is for love and not other motivations. They will essentially leave a place they have been all their lives. Leave family,friends and a culture they understand and are comfortable with. They must face an issue of going to a new place, a different culture and way of life and language difficulties for some. The biggest thing, is they will become soley dependent on one person to help them adjust to a new home and country. So if she doesn't leap at the first opportunity I would think she is very serious about a relationship. My situation was long and daily communication. On my first trip I asked her questions about what she wanted in life, what was important in a relationship and what her ideas of my lifestyle and country were. On my second trip I gave her a ring, not an engagement ring but a ring for her to think about the potential of us being together. On my third trip I seriously proposed marriage and she accepted, she thought long and hard, because I knew the difficult decision she had to make. I wanted her to be absolutely sure of her decision, to be fair to both of us. Patience, understanding, kindness and tenderness go a long way with some of these ladies. Take a deep breath, relax and make absolutely sure for both of yours sake. It will pay off in the long run!
Ice's comment are a bit cold I feel.
These FSU women are amazing women. They will follow you through the gates of Hell once they have full trust in you and your motives. They will go years alone without men in there life and giving total commitment to their child before they will allow there heart to open and let someone in. But - once they allow this - you will have something very strong and long lasting with them and 100% Rock Solid !!!
I think you are doing just fine and on the right track. Just keep up the communications and commitment and all will develop naturally.
I agree with Neon & Nas - she seems like a really sensible women and she also has her feet on the ground. Remember - her priority No: 1 = her Son.
I think you will see a real sparkle in her eyes when you get off that plane in October. You will have proved to her that you are committed and fully genuine and want her.
I have been learning russian for about a month now and it is a little more difficult than german or french, at least for me. I am planning on a trip to belarus in november and i am planning everything my self( plane, hotel tranfers and even the train from minsk to gomel). I'm not to sure about these agencies and would prefer to do it myself. any one have any ideas that might help me out. I am going to see a woman there that i have been writing to for about 2 months and I thought i would just show up and ask her out. Travelling has always been fun for me so even if it doesn't work out iwill still have fun.
You will still need an invitation from someone in Belarus to get a visa. I would advice you contact Alex at belbride.com. He is from Belarus and speaks fluent english, he is also on this forum as "felicedate". I used Alex and he has been most helpful. Now that my trip has been completed, He has offered advice, educated me about Belarus TV and the news that abounds about Americans looking for brides, delivering flowers, etc.
Concerning the "show up and ask her out"; personally I would show her the respect of making a date in advance; she may be able to take off work and spend time with you. These ladies have a very busy day. Travel to and from work takes an hour or more. Work will be about 8 hrs. a day. Then she will go shopping for her daily foods, maybe stop by the internet cafe and answer emails, then finally head home at 7 pm or later.
Let me know if I can provide any assistance. I will be returning to Belarus in October, November (Thanksgiving time) and December (Christmas Time).
thanks for the advice, but i'm a little spontanious. if i get there monday and ask her out for friday how much more notice does a person need. when you ask a woman out do you say i can put it on my calender for next month or do you just say how is friday night ?want to have dinner? the traveling is the easy part, getting her to say yes is another story. when i travel i mainly use the visa support services from the hotels i stay at. i have never had a problem so far. i've done alot of traveling but never thought i would want to meet a woman for a serious relationship overseas.
Casper, maybe it just me but why not go out tuesday, wednesday thursday and friday; it is a heck of a long way to Belarus and I would want to spend as much time with a potential mate as possible. She is advertising on the forums, she wants a date-that is a given.
Then again, if you are going to see the country and would like a date while visiting, I guess that is good. Have fun.
I am going to see her but with everything I've heard I like to be prepared. if she wants to go out every night, great. It would be nice if she wants to and can but you never know with work and everything. maybe we will only get in 2 or 3 nights together. soory i didn't mean to sound sarcastic or anything, I grew up traveling the world and for me it's not a big deal to go, some where i have never been. i want to meet her in person and i want it to be real, not feel like it was arranged for months, seems a little awkward to me.
So you are just going to show up, surprise her, and ask her out? Or does she know you are planning this trip? If you are just going to show up do you think this is really a good idea? Maybe very awkward for her if you do it that way.
I think it will be awkward no matter how it's done. 2 cultures coming together is not easy anyway you do it. So I might as well be myself instead of trying to act in a way that just goes against everything I believe. Pre-arranged meetings are just too formal for me and I'm not a formal guy. I wear jeans most of the time and i dont even own a suit. I think being me will always be the best thing to do.
I understand you approach and your style but do not agree. Nevertheless, I respect your desire to do it "your way". This is what is so grand, we are all different and we all attract different girls because of our different preferences. I applaud you desire to be yourself and I wish you much luck.